AGNPH Stories
 

Sour Grass by shayminqueen

 
 

The joke

It was the start of April which meant jokes are played day.
Of course I loved playing jokes on pokemon, espeacialy Trenton a Deerling along with Girtina. It was a casual day me on my flowered throne sipping my mountaindew supernova; "Hey Lia!" said trent "I've made you a surprize" he snickered, I opened it *pop!pop* a firework! my fur was whiter than arceus! "I'll get you for that!" I said still jumpy; Later that day I had made him a present, "here" I said giving him it, he opened it I stood there chuckling, "Its empty!" he said, "of course" I said he didn't understand, I pointed behind him, and once he turned to see what it was, *Giratina's roar*, "AAAAAHH!!* He screamed when he saw giratina, his pink fur went white. "ha ha ha You got joked!!" I said. He growled at me I imediately stopped laughing, "Not funny" he said walking off.

The Next day I was fixing Giratina his favorite snack a delicious Orenberry sandwitch and me a pechaberry sandwitch; " You know you look sexy right?", "Yes, why?" I said, the tip of his tail slide under me, "OOoooh!~you sexy giratina", his tongue felt so good,Its nice that he wants to fuck me but damned by arceus that size of me and his size of his massive cock is unobtainable for me and him to have sex together. Once he stopped I heard a knock.Trenton stood there tired and scared as if he seen a monster, "Whats the matter?" I said,he pulled me by my pretty golden flower that was on my neck; We stopped in a dense forest, "now my surprize" he walked over and kissed me to my surprize I wanted it I laid on my back opening my legs wide letting him more of an eazy entering, "go ahead" I said to him.

He started pushing in me I started moaning, his nice deer penis went in as he thrusted in me, his force was so good to feel, he leaned down to my ear and said " Would you mind if my joke had a little fun to it?" he said " What do you mean?" I said, he started kissing me and sucked on my tongue now and then, he so close I could feel it, "GO AHEAD CUM IN YOUR QUEEN!!" my mind scatterd wanting to be filled, he pulled out and stuffed his cock in my mouth, he then soon came in my maw; I tried swallowing it all; He pulled out and started licking my tailhole he then positioned his self over me and started thrusting, "Gah!~" was only thing I said when he entered my hole, I finally couldn't hold back on my extent my orgasm was just to much,"you will be mine" he said thrusting his very large knot in me and filling me up I let out a scream of pleasure; He walked me back to the castle, "You know I wanted to kill you right? Just kidding!", I gave him a small nip, "sorry" he said I walked into the castle since april fools was over. Guess his joke wasn't funny, he stuck a note to me saying ' this my bitch ' servent pointed it out.

Chapter End Notes:

Its the end hope ya liked it

 
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  •  
    The Wild-Card!
    Reviewer: Captain_Dragonuv
    Date:Apr 14 2013 Chapter:The joke
    I'll admit, the title and summary had me interested, but you lost me with the actual story. Not being mean or anything, but there was a lack of depth that veteran writers will damn you to the Distortion World for.

    If this is your first time fan fiction ithen I can avail myself to assist should you need it.

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  •  
    Retroactively Continuitous
    Reviewer: cge0361
    Date:Apr 14 2013 Chapter:The joke
    If I choose to look at this as I would a piece of naive art, there is actually very little to criticize. By that I mean, the first scene of the two (and the bulk of the whole matter) reads not as a piece of fiction per se, but rather as a comic strip. So much so in fact, that I question if one was not the source of inspiration here. The second scene, a mere fragment, does lead me to wonder if perhaps there was an error in submitting. Especially since this indicates a General-audience rating but enters into discussion of "sex[iness]" within the first two hundred words.


    Suddenly, I am overwhelmed by a bizarre desire to consume a Mountain Dew Supernova. That is a brand of soda I have almost never consumed, but I am relieved that I am not instead thirsting for a mountain dude's Chevy Nova. With at least 25 years of going up and down said mountain, I'm sure one would have something of a gamy flavor.


    One thing remains unclear. Which joke was The Joke of the title? I counted three, but no one stood out insofar as...oh, ha! I just got it. Well played!

     
  •  
    Reviewer: shayminqueen
    Date:Apr 14 2013 Chapter:The joke
    New to fic learning
     
  •  
    Reviewer: anger_incarnate
    Date:May 26 2013 Chapter:The joke
    It's been awhile since I've been behind the keyboard to offer advice to writers on AGNPH, but perhaps a little Anger would be beneficial in a matter such as this.

    First, the rating needs a bit of a change there chum. Then again, if this is the material you consider suitable for ages befitting such a rating, then your opinion is your own. Everyone else however will see this clearly as anything but G, so I wouldn't be surprised if some kind of higher-up among us called you out on it in the oncoming future.

    Next is the grammar. I could get down and dirty with every slip-up, but I'm not your proofreader. This is a matter needed to be resolved by yourself if you want to improve, or with aid to help learn.

    Just as important, the story. Then again, what story? We don't know anything about these characters, yet you're thrusting us (dirty joke) into these odd situations for these brief 1000+ words. They play a practical joke because of the date? Well alright. then, without leading up, as if emerging from the void, SEX. If anything, the joke isn't what this story is about, or even that deplorable conclusion. No sir, in all painful honesty, this story is a joke. If it was a funny one, it could be forgiven, but it's not.

    I'm not angry over a poor joke, but I read it as a degradation towards other stories on this site, as if to belittle their plots, characters, and twists along their brief or long agendas, throwing in sometimes uncalled for sexual interludes as if this is the only material we're hunting for.

    Who knows, maybe I'm looking into this too much.
    Maybe, just this once, I'm a tad angry.