Veryd Date:Jun 7, 2015 7:54 PMTitle:Re: Feedback and Critique pls
I can't review it like skilled writers could do that but for me it is nicely written with enough details to imagine what is happening for the moment or how they look like. For myself I couldn't write it that good. Sometimes the different names started to confused me but later on could find out who these mons are so this is ok. I'm just not sure about line 10 with "growing it larger, and larger, and larger" because for me it sounds so repetitive, but still would be fine for me. l.14 " to shots of lightning" maybe you meant two? as a typic mistake which isn't bad at all but it happens from time to time. In my opinion those short sentences connected with commas at the beginning of the story made it slightly more boring to read, atleast couldn't read it out with enthusiasm.But the rest was very fine for me
0bs1d1ankn1ght Date:Jun 10, 2015 2:59 PMTitle:Re: Feedback and Critique pls
l.14 " to shots of lightning" maybe you meant two? as a typic mistake which isn't bad at all but it happens from time to time.
Oh, yes, I meant to say "two". I didn't realize I even made that mistake, even the spelling and grammar checker didn't pick up on it. But anyways, thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it!
Date:Jun 5, 2015 11:57 PM Title:Feedback and Critique pls
Date:Jun 7, 2015 7:54 PM Title:Re: Feedback and Critique pls
Sometimes the different names started to confused me but later on could find out who these mons are so this is ok. I'm just not sure about line 10 with "growing it larger, and larger, and larger" because for me it sounds so repetitive, but still would be fine for me.
l.14 " to shots of lightning" maybe you meant two? as a typic mistake which isn't bad at all but it happens from time to time.
In my opinion those short sentences connected with commas at the beginning of the story made it slightly more boring to read, atleast couldn't read it out with enthusiasm.But the rest was very fine for me
Date:Jun 10, 2015 2:59 PM Title:Re: Feedback and Critique pls
Oh, yes, I meant to say "two". I didn't realize I even made that mistake, even the spelling and grammar checker didn't pick up on it. But anyways, thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it!
Date:Jun 11, 2015 3:45 AM Title:Re: Feedback and Critique pls
Date:Jun 11, 2015 12:17 PM Title:Re: Feedback and Critique pls
take your time.