Bathtime for Meowth
===========================================================================
The Official AGNPH Archive
http://www.agnph.net/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Bathtime for Meowth
File Name: bathtime_for_meowth.txt
Author: Shard Fields
Rating: G
Size: 11KB
Type: fanfic
Action: none
Added: 06-01-99
Read by: Racso
Description: Team Rocket decides it's time for Meowth to have a bath, but
Meowth has other ideas.
===========================================================================
After much effort and procrastination, it's finally finished! Woohoo! Praise
Goddish and get me another bar of soap!
Here it is:
Fanfic, silly: Bathtime for Meowth
P r o l o g u e
Jessie and James had returned, empty-handed from yet ANOTHER day on the job.
The boss was threatening their job security, yet again, this time with a
Rhydon. (ouch.) And there was so much to do. Such as... well...
Jessie: James, have you noticed something?
James: If I say yes, are you going to hit me with something?
Jessie: No.
James: Yes, I've noticed how much better that Gym Leader from Celadon looks
than you do.
Jessie tosses James across the room.
Jessie: No! You idiot! I meant about Meowth!
James: Meowth looks better than you do?
Jessie walks over to James and throws him back across the room.
Jessie: Now, where was I?
James: Auntie R, Auntie R! There's no place like...
Jessie walks over to James and hits him with a broomstick.
Meowth: What about me?
Jessie: Scram, hairball.
Meowth: Geeze, she's grumpy.
Meowth leaves.
Jessie: As I was saying... Meowth has, well, a distasteful odor.
James: And that means...
Meowth comes flying out of nowhere and starts scratching the heck out of Jessie
and James.
Meowth (screaming hysterically): No! No! Not the BATH!
D e a t h o n a r o p e
Jessie and James had just finished their first attempt to bathe Meowth. They
were less than successful, coming out covered with scratches, and with bottles
of shampoo shoved into various places. They sat down to discuss their plans.
Jessie: Okay, Meowth isn't going to go in willfully. We need a plan.
James: Like the ones that always make us look like idiots when we're trying to
catch that Pikachu?
Jessie: Precisely.
James: I got it! We need something to hold him in place while we scrub him,
right? How about something that will do BOTH?
Jessie: You mean...?
James: Of course. It's...
Both: Soap on a Rope!
Meowth listens in from around the corner.
Meowth: Ack! Death on a Rope! Death on a Rope!
Jessie and James grab Meowth, and try and wrap the rope around him.
Meowth: Claws, don't fail me now!
Meowth slashes through the yarn and darts away.
James: Well, at least he didn't mortally wound us this time.
Meowth (on phone): Hello? Jake's Rent-a-Hitmon?
T e a m T w e r p R e t u r n s
Jessie and James are in the pool, and are trying to convince Meowth to take a
dip, despite the plainly visible kitty shampoo. Meowth is refusing, and
waiting for the Hitmon delivery. Suddenly Ash, Misty, Brock, and Todd show up.
Ash: Oh, great, it's Team Rocket. What are you up to now?
Jessie: Wouldn't you like to know?
James: We're trying to give Meowth a b... Ack!
Jessie quickly shoves James under the water. He struggles back to the surface
and gasps for air.
Misty: A cat bath, huh? I can help! I specialize in water pokemon!
Ash: And I have Squirtle and Krabby!
Meowth's eyes visibly widen.
Todd sets up the camera.
Brock: And I have... Nothing that can help...
Ash: Vulpix hasn't been out in a long time. I think you might want to let it
out.
Brock: No way! Its fur might get messed up!
Misty: Speaking of which, Ash, you haven't let Charizard out since it evolved!
I think it might want out, Mr. Pokemon Master!
Ash: No way! It's too disloyal! If I let it out, it could kill us all!
Brock: How do you know, it hasn't been out! Oh, never mind...
Ash: Well, firing squad ASSEMBLE!
Misty: Staryu, Starmie, Goldeen, Gyarados, Horsea, GO!
Goldeen, Staryu, Starmie, Gyarados, Psyduck, and Horsea pop out.
Misty: Psyduck, you... Ooh, get Charizard and Vulpix out here, I'm in the mood
for some roast Psyduck!
Psyduck: Psy yie yie?
Psyduck launches some water at Misty.
Misty: Hydro Pump? Well, maybe you can live just a bit longer...
Psyduck jumps for joy.
Psyduck: Psyduck duck!
Ash: Krabby, Squirtle, GO!
Krabby and Squirtle pop out.
Krabby: Coh kee... err... Ch kh? Oh, never mind, now I know why I'm never in any
fanfics!
Krabby shuts up and resumes foaming at the mouth.
Ash and Misty: Alright, line up.
The pokemon line up and prepare to drench Meowth.
Jessie and James aim the Soap Cannon.
Voice: Hey!
A Delivery Guy walks up to James.
Delivery Guy: Sign here.
James signs.
Delivery Guy: OKAY, CHARLIE, LET 'EM RIP!
Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan jump out of the car, and proceed to whoop everyone's
rear. Todd takes pictures.
Hitmonlee: Mon LEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Hitmonchan: Chan!
The Hitmons go back into the van.
Delivery Guy: (walks over to James) That'll be $42.76.
James pays. The Rent-a-Hitmon truck pulls off after the Delivery Guy gets in.
Todd: Okay, who wants wallet-sized and who wants 8 by 10?
Everyone glares at Todd.
Todd: What?
Misty: I wish I wasn't the only normal one in the group.
Ash: Be careful what you wish for...
Misty (raging): ARE YOU SAYING I'M ABNORMAL? WHY I OUGHTA...!
Brock: Misty, you're setting a bad example for Togepi...
Togepi: Topi?
Misty: Ooh, sorry.
Ash and Co. walk off, while Misty gives Togepi "the talk" (You know, the
Spearows and the Beedrills...), leaving Team Rocket to clean up the damage.
O u r T u r n
Butch and Cassidy looked at the boss's image on the monitor. "Butch, if you
don't accept this assignment, I WILL make you do something about that voice of
yours!" he fumed, stroking his Persian.
Butch: What's wrong with my voice?
Cassidy breaks out laughing.
Butch: What?
Cassidy: (mocking Butch) What's wrong with my voice? (normal voice) You sound
like you swallowed an Ivysaur.
Boss: Enough! You two BETTER get this cat washed!
The screen shuts off.
Cassidy: Figures. They goof up and we get stuck with the aftermath.
Butch: We? You're on your own.
Cassidy: What?
Butch: Take back your little Ivysaur comment, and I'll think about it.
Cassidy: This is blackmail!
Butch: Yup!
Cassidy: Well, I'm not giving in!
Butch: Fine. Have fun.
Cassidy: ALL RIGHT! I GIVE IN!
Butch: Fine, let's go wash the cat and get it over with.
Butch and Cassidy grab Meowth and drag him into the bathroom, but he manages to
break free and scratch the heck out of them just as they're about to drop him
in.
Butch: Well, that was quick.
Meowth runs off.
Cassidy: I think your voice scared him off. (Snickers)
Butch: Take it BACK!
C a s s a n d r a
Jessie and James had realized that they might need help. Thus, they went to
the one person who might be able to get Meowth to cooperate, the one person
Meowth cared about. Except that Cassandra's Parasect was in the way. Finally,
they managed to reach around it to knock on the door.
Cassandra answers the door.
Cassandra: Hello?
Meowth: (sighs) Ahhh, her voice is catnip to my ears...
Jessie: Um, one of our pokemon has a bit of a problem with his demeanor and
scent.
Cassandra: Sorry, I can't fix it.
James: Are you saying you can't help us give him a bath?
Cassandra: Oh, I can probably handle THAT. I meant I can't FIX your pokemon.
Jessie: Oh...
Meowth: Cassandra, you wouldn't, would you?
Cassandra: I presume that Meowth is the one whom you want bathed.
Jessie and James nod.
Cassandra: I know just the thing.
A few minutes later...
Cassandra: A catnip bath shouldn't get much resistance.
Meowth stands on the edge of the tub.
Meowth: Catnip... water... catnip... water... OOH, THIS IS TOO MUCH!
Meowth hold his head like Psyduck, then faints. Cassandra catches him.
Cassandra: Ooh, that's not good. This kind of decision can be too much for
some people, and some pokemon.
Meowth wakes up, and is obviously very content in Cassandra's arms, then gets
up and runs off.
Jessie: I know. Maybe if we put something in Meowth's tea that'll put him out
for a little bit, we can bathe him while he's asleep, and get him dried off
before he wakes up!
Cassandra: I think I can handle that.
Later, at the table:
All are enjoying their meal, so much so that they don't notice Meowth trading
cups with James.
James: Great food! I think I'll have some tea too!
James takes a sip, then passes out.
Cassandra: Oh, this isn't good.
Jessie: He never could handle too much tea.
Later...
Cassandra: Well, only one thing left. I hope there aren't children reading
this.
Jessie: Why?
Cassandra: Well, Meowth is obviously attracted to me, so... He hasn't been
fixed, has he?
Jessie: No way! That's just... just...
Cassandra: Good. I think by appealing to a certain side of his nature, I can...
Officer Jenny pulls up on her motorcycle.
Officer Jenny: Hold it right there! I'm Officer Jenny, from the Clean
Fanfiction Division! I know where this is headed, and you're NOT going to go
there!
Meowth: But...
Jenny: No buts! Let's end this chapter right here! Move along!
T h e E n d?
Jessie, James, and Meowth returned home, exhausted. Meowth, in fact, was so
exhausted that he fell asleep.
James: He's asleep.
Jessie: That means...
Jessie and James quickly grab Meowth and dunk him in the tub, inadvertently
waking him up. A fierce struggle ensues, but in the end Meowth winds up
cleaned.
Jessie: Finally!
James: We did it!
They high five.
Meowth: Ack! I'm soaked!
Meowth grabs the hairdryer and points it at himself.
Meowth: Come on! Come on!
Jessie and James giggle, causing Meowth to throw the hairdryer at them.
E p i l o g u e
Jessie, James, and Meowth had been called in by the boss for a conference,
which had turned out to be about Meowth's newfound cleanliness.
Boss: In short, I'm impressed. You've managed to do something right, finally.
Therefore, I would like you to bathe my Persian.
Jessie and James gasp in unison.
Boss: I want him at least as clean as that worthless Meowth.
James: But...
The boss glares at James.
James: But...
Boss: But what?
Jessie: But nothing, sir, we'd be more than happy to take care of it right
away.
Boss: That's better.
Persian: Purrr?
Boss: Because I still have that Rhydon...
Jessie, James, and Meowth gulp. Persian smiles evilly.
T H E E N D
So, how was it?
Shard Fields, who needs to finish up Monty Arbok + the Holy Pokeball sometime.
The Official AGNPH Archive
http://www.agnph.net/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Bathtime for Meowth
File Name: bathtime_for_meowth.txt
Author: Shard Fields
Rating: G
Size: 11KB
Type: fanfic
Action: none
Added: 06-01-99
Read by: Racso
Description: Team Rocket decides it's time for Meowth to have a bath, but
Meowth has other ideas.
===========================================================================
After much effort and procrastination, it's finally finished! Woohoo! Praise
Goddish and get me another bar of soap!
Here it is:
Fanfic, silly: Bathtime for Meowth
P r o l o g u e
Jessie and James had returned, empty-handed from yet ANOTHER day on the job.
The boss was threatening their job security, yet again, this time with a
Rhydon. (ouch.) And there was so much to do. Such as... well...
Jessie: James, have you noticed something?
James: If I say yes, are you going to hit me with something?
Jessie: No.
James: Yes, I've noticed how much better that Gym Leader from Celadon looks
than you do.
Jessie tosses James across the room.
Jessie: No! You idiot! I meant about Meowth!
James: Meowth looks better than you do?
Jessie walks over to James and throws him back across the room.
Jessie: Now, where was I?
James: Auntie R, Auntie R! There's no place like...
Jessie walks over to James and hits him with a broomstick.
Meowth: What about me?
Jessie: Scram, hairball.
Meowth: Geeze, she's grumpy.
Meowth leaves.
Jessie: As I was saying... Meowth has, well, a distasteful odor.
James: And that means...
Meowth comes flying out of nowhere and starts scratching the heck out of Jessie
and James.
Meowth (screaming hysterically): No! No! Not the BATH!
D e a t h o n a r o p e
Jessie and James had just finished their first attempt to bathe Meowth. They
were less than successful, coming out covered with scratches, and with bottles
of shampoo shoved into various places. They sat down to discuss their plans.
Jessie: Okay, Meowth isn't going to go in willfully. We need a plan.
James: Like the ones that always make us look like idiots when we're trying to
catch that Pikachu?
Jessie: Precisely.
James: I got it! We need something to hold him in place while we scrub him,
right? How about something that will do BOTH?
Jessie: You mean...?
James: Of course. It's...
Both: Soap on a Rope!
Meowth listens in from around the corner.
Meowth: Ack! Death on a Rope! Death on a Rope!
Jessie and James grab Meowth, and try and wrap the rope around him.
Meowth: Claws, don't fail me now!
Meowth slashes through the yarn and darts away.
James: Well, at least he didn't mortally wound us this time.
Meowth (on phone): Hello? Jake's Rent-a-Hitmon?
T e a m T w e r p R e t u r n s
Jessie and James are in the pool, and are trying to convince Meowth to take a
dip, despite the plainly visible kitty shampoo. Meowth is refusing, and
waiting for the Hitmon delivery. Suddenly Ash, Misty, Brock, and Todd show up.
Ash: Oh, great, it's Team Rocket. What are you up to now?
Jessie: Wouldn't you like to know?
James: We're trying to give Meowth a b... Ack!
Jessie quickly shoves James under the water. He struggles back to the surface
and gasps for air.
Misty: A cat bath, huh? I can help! I specialize in water pokemon!
Ash: And I have Squirtle and Krabby!
Meowth's eyes visibly widen.
Todd sets up the camera.
Brock: And I have... Nothing that can help...
Ash: Vulpix hasn't been out in a long time. I think you might want to let it
out.
Brock: No way! Its fur might get messed up!
Misty: Speaking of which, Ash, you haven't let Charizard out since it evolved!
I think it might want out, Mr. Pokemon Master!
Ash: No way! It's too disloyal! If I let it out, it could kill us all!
Brock: How do you know, it hasn't been out! Oh, never mind...
Ash: Well, firing squad ASSEMBLE!
Misty: Staryu, Starmie, Goldeen, Gyarados, Horsea, GO!
Goldeen, Staryu, Starmie, Gyarados, Psyduck, and Horsea pop out.
Misty: Psyduck, you... Ooh, get Charizard and Vulpix out here, I'm in the mood
for some roast Psyduck!
Psyduck: Psy yie yie?
Psyduck launches some water at Misty.
Misty: Hydro Pump? Well, maybe you can live just a bit longer...
Psyduck jumps for joy.
Psyduck: Psyduck duck!
Ash: Krabby, Squirtle, GO!
Krabby and Squirtle pop out.
Krabby: Coh kee... err... Ch kh? Oh, never mind, now I know why I'm never in any
fanfics!
Krabby shuts up and resumes foaming at the mouth.
Ash and Misty: Alright, line up.
The pokemon line up and prepare to drench Meowth.
Jessie and James aim the Soap Cannon.
Voice: Hey!
A Delivery Guy walks up to James.
Delivery Guy: Sign here.
James signs.
Delivery Guy: OKAY, CHARLIE, LET 'EM RIP!
Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan jump out of the car, and proceed to whoop everyone's
rear. Todd takes pictures.
Hitmonlee: Mon LEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Hitmonchan: Chan!
The Hitmons go back into the van.
Delivery Guy: (walks over to James) That'll be $42.76.
James pays. The Rent-a-Hitmon truck pulls off after the Delivery Guy gets in.
Todd: Okay, who wants wallet-sized and who wants 8 by 10?
Everyone glares at Todd.
Todd: What?
Misty: I wish I wasn't the only normal one in the group.
Ash: Be careful what you wish for...
Misty (raging): ARE YOU SAYING I'M ABNORMAL? WHY I OUGHTA...!
Brock: Misty, you're setting a bad example for Togepi...
Togepi: Topi?
Misty: Ooh, sorry.
Ash and Co. walk off, while Misty gives Togepi "the talk" (You know, the
Spearows and the Beedrills...), leaving Team Rocket to clean up the damage.
O u r T u r n
Butch and Cassidy looked at the boss's image on the monitor. "Butch, if you
don't accept this assignment, I WILL make you do something about that voice of
yours!" he fumed, stroking his Persian.
Butch: What's wrong with my voice?
Cassidy breaks out laughing.
Butch: What?
Cassidy: (mocking Butch) What's wrong with my voice? (normal voice) You sound
like you swallowed an Ivysaur.
Boss: Enough! You two BETTER get this cat washed!
The screen shuts off.
Cassidy: Figures. They goof up and we get stuck with the aftermath.
Butch: We? You're on your own.
Cassidy: What?
Butch: Take back your little Ivysaur comment, and I'll think about it.
Cassidy: This is blackmail!
Butch: Yup!
Cassidy: Well, I'm not giving in!
Butch: Fine. Have fun.
Cassidy: ALL RIGHT! I GIVE IN!
Butch: Fine, let's go wash the cat and get it over with.
Butch and Cassidy grab Meowth and drag him into the bathroom, but he manages to
break free and scratch the heck out of them just as they're about to drop him
in.
Butch: Well, that was quick.
Meowth runs off.
Cassidy: I think your voice scared him off. (Snickers)
Butch: Take it BACK!
C a s s a n d r a
Jessie and James had realized that they might need help. Thus, they went to
the one person who might be able to get Meowth to cooperate, the one person
Meowth cared about. Except that Cassandra's Parasect was in the way. Finally,
they managed to reach around it to knock on the door.
Cassandra answers the door.
Cassandra: Hello?
Meowth: (sighs) Ahhh, her voice is catnip to my ears...
Jessie: Um, one of our pokemon has a bit of a problem with his demeanor and
scent.
Cassandra: Sorry, I can't fix it.
James: Are you saying you can't help us give him a bath?
Cassandra: Oh, I can probably handle THAT. I meant I can't FIX your pokemon.
Jessie: Oh...
Meowth: Cassandra, you wouldn't, would you?
Cassandra: I presume that Meowth is the one whom you want bathed.
Jessie and James nod.
Cassandra: I know just the thing.
A few minutes later...
Cassandra: A catnip bath shouldn't get much resistance.
Meowth stands on the edge of the tub.
Meowth: Catnip... water... catnip... water... OOH, THIS IS TOO MUCH!
Meowth hold his head like Psyduck, then faints. Cassandra catches him.
Cassandra: Ooh, that's not good. This kind of decision can be too much for
some people, and some pokemon.
Meowth wakes up, and is obviously very content in Cassandra's arms, then gets
up and runs off.
Jessie: I know. Maybe if we put something in Meowth's tea that'll put him out
for a little bit, we can bathe him while he's asleep, and get him dried off
before he wakes up!
Cassandra: I think I can handle that.
Later, at the table:
All are enjoying their meal, so much so that they don't notice Meowth trading
cups with James.
James: Great food! I think I'll have some tea too!
James takes a sip, then passes out.
Cassandra: Oh, this isn't good.
Jessie: He never could handle too much tea.
Later...
Cassandra: Well, only one thing left. I hope there aren't children reading
this.
Jessie: Why?
Cassandra: Well, Meowth is obviously attracted to me, so... He hasn't been
fixed, has he?
Jessie: No way! That's just... just...
Cassandra: Good. I think by appealing to a certain side of his nature, I can...
Officer Jenny pulls up on her motorcycle.
Officer Jenny: Hold it right there! I'm Officer Jenny, from the Clean
Fanfiction Division! I know where this is headed, and you're NOT going to go
there!
Meowth: But...
Jenny: No buts! Let's end this chapter right here! Move along!
T h e E n d?
Jessie, James, and Meowth returned home, exhausted. Meowth, in fact, was so
exhausted that he fell asleep.
James: He's asleep.
Jessie: That means...
Jessie and James quickly grab Meowth and dunk him in the tub, inadvertently
waking him up. A fierce struggle ensues, but in the end Meowth winds up
cleaned.
Jessie: Finally!
James: We did it!
They high five.
Meowth: Ack! I'm soaked!
Meowth grabs the hairdryer and points it at himself.
Meowth: Come on! Come on!
Jessie and James giggle, causing Meowth to throw the hairdryer at them.
E p i l o g u e
Jessie, James, and Meowth had been called in by the boss for a conference,
which had turned out to be about Meowth's newfound cleanliness.
Boss: In short, I'm impressed. You've managed to do something right, finally.
Therefore, I would like you to bathe my Persian.
Jessie and James gasp in unison.
Boss: I want him at least as clean as that worthless Meowth.
James: But...
The boss glares at James.
James: But...
Boss: But what?
Jessie: But nothing, sir, we'd be more than happy to take care of it right
away.
Boss: That's better.
Persian: Purrr?
Boss: Because I still have that Rhydon...
Jessie, James, and Meowth gulp. Persian smiles evilly.
T H E E N D
So, how was it?
Shard Fields, who needs to finish up Monty Arbok + the Holy Pokeball sometime.