"Rise and shine pup!" a deep voice says with a chuckle, "You don't want to be caught napping by the
trainer man!"

I groan, that voice sounds really damn familiar. "We don't have all day kid." The voice says again.
Seriously, I know this voice.

I groan and sit up as I open my eyes, "Mufasa?"

"Eh, not quite, but you're not too far off." The floating pink feline says with a laugh, "Most people call
me 'Mew', but I'm 'Big M' to my friends."

My jaw drops. Mew is a guy AND he sounds just like Mufasa? What the fuck man? And on top of that
mindfuck is the fact that EVERYTHING hurts. Even my fur hurts. Fur? I have fur!?

"Yah, Palkia and them dragons on Mt. Coronet really did a number on you." Mew says nodding, "And
before you ask, I only found you because when Palkia tossed you out of the Hall of Origin you nearly
took me out. I was on my way back from visiting my girl on New Moon Island."

I frown, "Who the hell would you be visiting on New... No way... you mean..."

Mew raises a brow and slowly rotates until he is looking at me while hanging upside down in the air in
front of me. "Yeah, Darkrai is a woman." He taps the top of his head, "How hard did you hit your head?
Everybody, even you humans, know she is a woman. They call her the Queen of Shadows for Palkia's
sake. She is a queen, for sure, but everything else they say about her is wrong."

I scratch my head, "But isn't she... you know... a lot bigger than you?"

"What's wrong with liking a girl that's bigger than you are?" Mew chuckles, then pats his crotch and
adds, "Besides, I'm plenty big enough for her where it counts. Why do you think they call me Big M?"

I take a moment to process that statementGAH! Can't unsee! I shudder and shake my head as hard as I
can from side to side as if by creating enough centrifugal force I can make the mental images fly out my
ears or something. Unfortunately, this just causes a pair of dangling things on the sides of my head to
beat my muzzle. I stop shaking my head just in time for Mew's tail to knock me upside the head.

"Chill out pup. It's just sex." He laughs and throws me a berry. I try to catch it with one hand, er, paw,
and it bounces off my red paw pads. It looks like I'm going to have to relearn how to hold things all over
again. I pick the berry up with both paws and look at it carefully. I'm not sure what kind off the top of
my head, but I think it is one of the healing ones. "Go ahead and eat that. It should make you feel a lot
better."

I quickly gobble down the berry and my face puckers so hard at the intense sourness of the fruit that I
feel like my head is going to turn inside out as tears leak from the corners of my eyes. I do feel a lot
better though. Mew laughs, "Not a fan of sour are you?" I shake my head and wipe my eyes with the
back of my paws. He shrugs, "Well, good luck finding anything to eat in the future. Berries don't grow
around here, so you'll have to find other means of filling your belly. Later, pup."

Mew takes off straight up into the air, does a couple loops and spins then makes a beeline for god only
knows where. I sigh and begin to look myself over. May as well figure out just how rare I am. Just to give
me a decent idea of how hard people are going to try and catch me.

Well, I have red fur on my legs from the knees down and the same color of fur covers my chest from my
shoulders to my waist. There is also red fur on the top of my muzzle. This tells me next to nothing about
what I am though, Palkia even said that she made me colors out of the ordinary for a pokémon, beyond
that of even your 'average' shiny. However one look at my arms and I know what I am. There is only one
pokémon with those patches of exposed steel growing out of its forearms. I'm a riolu.

With a groan I climb to my feet and look around. It feels weird standing on my toes like this, but as I look
around I realize something even more important than my own awkwardness. I have no fucking clue
where I am. As best I can figure, I'm in a forest, but considering the fact that there are forests in just
about every single pokémon region that tells me nothing. I sigh and start walking through the forest,
trying to decide whether I should go in the tall grass and risk running into less than friendly pokémon, or
stay on the path and risk running into trainers. I smile, walking on my toes already feels natural to me.

"Oh wow! What is that?" a young boy's voice exclaims behind me. I turn to see some ten year old kid
staring at me with wide eyes. He whips out a small red item and flicks it open. It's a pokedex. It beeps
loudly before a tinny voice says, "Pokémon unknown. Power approximated to level ten."

I chuckle, apparently it isn't updated for all regions. Then the boy grins, "An unknown pokémon! I bet
there are people who would pay a lot of money for a chance to study it." he unclips a pokéball from his
belt, "Take him down Ratticate!"

There is the characteristic red flash as the pokéball opens and a ratticate is suddenly in front of me
hissing. Shit man, this thing is as big as I am! "Ratticate! Use Hyperfang!" the boy shouts.

The giant hamster from hell rushes me with its wicked teeth glowing bright white. I instinctively spin,
backhanding the ratticate in the top of the head, and then using my momentum to drive my other fist
down on its neck. The ratticate does a nosedive into the hard packed dirt and I roll across its back to
land on all fours behind it. I pop back to my feet and hop back from the pokémon as it shakily climbs to
its feet, blood trickling from its nose to mix with the dirt now smeared across its face. I smile, it looks like
all those Friday nights scrapping with my buddies in our little fight club are finally paying off.

The ratticate turns to me and snarls, "Just who the hell do you think you are?!"

I frown, "Uh, not following."

"Ratticate! Use quick attack!"

The ratticate blurs as it lunges forward. I hesitate for just a fraction of a second and the pokémon bowls
me over. It doesn't hurt very much, but being knocked around like a bowling pin is a bit disorientating. I
pop up to my feet again as quickly as I can, but quickly realize I'm facing the wrong direction. "Again!"
the boy shouts and I whirl around throwing a wild punch. The punch connects with a jarring thwack, but
doesn't stop the rapidly moving ratticate.

I tumble over the ground again, my limbs entangled with the ratticate's. As soon as we stop rolling I
scramble away from the fuzzy bastard. I watch the ratticate closely, but it doesn't get up even after
several seconds. Hell, I'm not even sure it is breathing. I roll my shoulders with a sigh. Not bad for a first
fight.

The boy silently recalls the ratticate to its pokéball. Then unclips a second pokéball and sends out the
pokémon within, "Kick his ass. Flame wheel."

I find myself facing down what would normally be a cute red furred puppy, except right now it is as tall
as I am and covered in fire about to run me down. I tense up and brace for pain. I am not disappointed.
The flaming puppy slams into me and the flames flash out to engulf me. I yelp and let myself be thrown
to the ground and immediately roll across the ground to extinguish any burning fur. I have been
engulfed in flames before, thanks to a dumb bet between friends involving a campfire and a couple cans
of hairspray and Axe, and it did not hurt nearly this bad.

The growlithe chuckles, "You don't seem so tough."

I glance back at the growlithe, "I don't have to be tough, not if I'm smart."

The growlithe frowns, "What's that supposed to mean?"

My reply is the sight of my ass disappearing into the tall grass as I hightail it into the wilds of the forest
beyond. "Get back here!" the boy shouts after me and I have to bite my tongue to keep from shouting
back 'Fuck you!'. I'm going to need all the breath I can for running. I don't intend to stop until I am
hopelessly lost and way the hell away from that growlithe. Catch me if you can bitches, but I'd rather
you didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter End Notes:Yep, short. Looking back this could have actually been combined with chapter one to make a single decent sized chapter, but I never expected this story to get positive feedback so I just posted the first one on impulse. (Clearly I am a whore for positive feedback)

(free gift to anyone who can guess what series of books I stole the title format from. No seriously, you get a cameo slot for a trainer oc or pokemon oc. it parodies fairy tales.) (*Gonna close this offer down soon