AGNPH Stories
 

I Caught God by servussmith

 

Story Notes:

I own pokemon... not really, in actuality pokemon belongs to Gamefreak and all those people. The only thing that belongs to me is the plot and OCs contained within. if any characters in this resemble anyone in real life, that is complete coincidence, and not meant to be insulting. if it resembles anyone's story, that also is coincidence.


Ch 5: In Which My Name is Finally Mentioned and I Stick My Foot in My Mouth

I groan as I come to. Everything hurts, again. I really hope this isn't going to be the norm, because this
sucks.

"Indeed it does, Mr. Upton." A deep voice agrees with a chuckle, "Though considering you lack
experience and training, you've done surprisingly well."

I wearily look over my shoulder, "Well, shit."

The voice belongs to none other than Mewtwo, which explains the exploding Beedrill. He chuckles, "It
might be a good idea to carefully check for Beedrill next time before you start shaking trees."

"Yeah." I look around me at the spacious cavern we are in as well as the multiple beds set along one
side, "So... why did you save me? I'm assuming you also healed me, since I don't have any huge holes in
me right now and I'm clean."

Mewtwo smiles as he rises off the ground. "Let's just say I have an interest in you."

Suddenly a horrible thought springs forth from the back of my mind, mainly to do with all the Mewtwo
porn a friend once trolled me with and a lot of it involving a Lucario, when he found out I play pokémon
still. I'm about to get raped.

Mewtwo's eyes go wide as saucers, "They drew me doing what with who?!"

I frown "What?"

"Those images your mind just broadcast, the ones of me doing sexual things with... well, a lot of things."
He shudders and rubs his face. "I assure you, my interest in you has nothing to do with any carnal desire
on my part."

"Um, furries mostly. I think."

"Your world is a strange one then."

"Doesn't change the fact that I would like to get back to it." I say, relaxing a bit, "Is there any way that I
could get you to help me?"

"No." Mewtwo says flatly. He floats across the room and picks up a spray bottle from a large chest. "But
I can finish fixing you up."

Mewtwo crouches down in front of me holding the spray bottle in one hand. As he pulls the trigger and
a cool mist sprays over my already partially healed wounds, I ask, "But aren't you supposed to the
strongest pokémon in existence?"

The super potion works its magic on my body, healing it completely. Mewtwo shrugs, "I can level an
entire facility, but I can't bridge dimensions or change your body without killing you in the process.
Besides, I don't think you need to worry about dying any time soon."

"My current track record says otherwise. I've been a pokémon for three days and nearly gotten myself
killed in rather brutal ways twice."

"Well, your biggest problem now is going to be trainers. Word of a super rare pokémon with incredibly
high attack power and a one of a kind fur pattern has already spread through most of the towns in this
area of Kanto."

"Fuuuck."

"Look on the bright side! They don't want you dead so they will be holding back while you go all out."
Mewtwo says with a chuckle.

I grimace, "I'm only level twelve or something. They'll be coming at me with the same pokémon they
would come after you with."

"According to my pokédex you are closer to sixteen than twelve. Taking on an entire swarm of Beedrill
will do that."


I stare at Mewtwo, "You have a pokédex?"

"Yeah? They aren't hard to find. Most trainers have one these days. I just manipulated a trainer into
dropping theirs and not noticing." He chuckles, "I'm kind of tempted to become a trainer myself. It
might be a fun change of pace from training here with the girls."

"Who?"

"My mate and children."

"Oh..." I pause climbing to my feet, "You are really not turning out the way I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"Someone much more dignified with a large group of strong cloned pokémon with him." I say scratching
my head, "At least that's how the movies portrayed you."

"I was in movies? Cool."

I roll my eyes, "Is everything I know about the pokémon world going to be turned on its head?"

Mewtwo looks me in the eyes for a bit. "Based on what you think you know, yes. Most of it is going to
be turned on its head. Most of the basic battle principles will remain the same, but who ever made that
animated series doesn't know shit about the real world. That Ash Ketchum fellow is a fucking retard."

I laugh, "He made bricks look smart. He did have some serious guts though. Enough to try to punch you
in the face even though he knew how ridiculously powerful you are."

Mewtwo raises a brow before laughing, "That is gutsy."

"Honey? Who are you talking to?"

Mewtwo and I both turn to the cavern entrance where a brown fox-like pokémon with red claws and a
long ponytail is standing. Mewtwo gestures to me, "Maiora, I'd like you to meet Mr. Tyler Spartacus
Upton."

Maiora's eyes widen and her hands go to her mouth before she starts pointing at me, "I-it's that... that....
that guy!"

I frown, "What?"

"Except he is shorter than he is supposed to be." She adds quickly with a frown.

"Yes, he is a lot shorter than he is supposed to be. He is supposed to be human." Mewtwo replies
emphatically.

I glance at Mewtwo, just barely catching a gesture of some kind. "Again, what?"

Mewtwo chuckles, "I've told her about you already, at least a little bit, and I guess she expected
someone a lot bigger."

I climb to my feet and start walking towards Maiora, "Okay... so, uh, Ms. Maiora, what exactly are you?"

"I'm a Zoroark." She giggles, "I'm not surprised you don't know what I am. I'm not from around these
parts."

"Neither am I," I comment wryly, "But I know almost all the pokémon in Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and
Sinnoh. And I haven't heard of anything called a Zoroark."

"That's because I'm not from any of those places." Maiora grins.

Whut? You mean there are more than four major regions?! Not counting the Pokémon Ranger games
since there aren't any new pokémon in those. Does that mean... there is another pokémon game? And
I'm not gonna be able to play it from the safety of my home!? That sucks! Whatever, nothing I can do
about that right now. Wait a sec, if I can find a way back to being human, I may be able to live
that game! How awesome would that be? Or if I got caught by the right trainer... but that would be
some serious lottery jackpot type odds I would be facing if I tried that method of getting to wherever
that place is. Then again, the odds aren't much better for me getting back to being human either.

I glance back at Mewtwo, figuring he probably was listening in on my thoughts. Judging from his amused
expression, I'd Imagine so.

"I think that you might want to focus on something much more immediate. Like surviving my daughters'
infatuation. They love Riolu."

"Huh?"

I whirl around at the sound of several high pitched screams and see a mob of dark brown foxes all
running at me. I yelp as I am quickly dog piled by... screaming fangirls?

It's very difficult to make out words from the swirling mass of brown fur that surrounds me and all the
squealing is making it even harder, but I'm pretty sure I can make out 'Cute', 'Sexy', 'Cuddly', and, the
most troublesome one, 'Mine'. Suddenly someone grabs me by the foot and yanks me out of the mass
of foxes.

I find myself dangling over the mob. They all immediately sit and look up at me. I start counting them.
There must be at least eight of them, all staring at me with a mixture of adoration and something akin to
hunger. I feel like a cross between a celebrity and a dog treat.

"Girls, MR. Upton is not a toy or a pet. He is a guest. And he will be treated as such for the duration of
his visit." Maiora tells the little foxes sternly, "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Mother." They respond in unison. I give Maiora an upside down look then turn my gaze to
Mewtwo.

"Are these all yours?" I ask gesturing to the gathered girls.

"Yep."

"Damn, you two must get it on like a couple of Lopunnies." I chuckle. Suddenly the grip on my foot
tightens. Oh shit.

"You know what girls, I've changed my mind. Have fun with Tyler. Your father and I are going to have some
alone time together." Maiora says before tossing me across the room. "Play nice, and remember to
share."

I groan as I sit up rubbing my head. The girls watch as Mewtwo and Maiora leave, then as one they all
turn and look at me. I whimper quietly, "Mommy."
Chapter End Notes:____________
MWAHAHAHAHAH! fangirls. >8
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