-3- Burning Both Ends, As Told By Maggie, Mostly.



"Seko-ko-da-le bakavo sedu etag!"

I ran into Franz, literally and figuratively. I didn't feel like I had any time to slow down. He twisted out of my hold when I grabbed his shoulders, distracted me with a couple swings of his yo-yo, and slapped me hard.

I shook off the strike and continued what I was saying. "Please, Franz, I'm begging you. You have to do it again! It's just like I was hoping: when I'm a human for him, he loves me the same as he always loved me except what I am doesn't get in the way. Franz, don't do it only as a favor for me, do it for him, too. All his life he's been filling with desire to love and be loved, and deep down I know I'm his soul-mate. Every moment we've spent together, he's been changing back into the Manny I used to know. And then, when we made love together, and he held me after, I've wanted to...I haven't seen him so happy in years. It wasn't just because he got his end away, it was like he finally let go of all the pain and all the shit those whores put him through."

"And, when you're not a human for him?"

I slouched. I looked downward, then looked away and to the right. "One peck on the cheek and he shoves me to down the floor. Oh, I don't mean he actually pushes—"

"I know; you mean he puts his pokemon in her place."

For some reason, hearing him say it like that made me want to fight him. I knew he felt my emotion, and expected him to do something preemptive. Then, he hung his head and shook it.

"Okay, since he accepts your human appearance so willingly, I can restore the hypnosis easily and make its effect stronger. But, if he has figured out the truth or no longer wants to see your mirage, the effect will not hold, unless." He exhaled sharply and grunted.

I glared at him with my good eye. "Unless what."

"Never mind that. What you already ask of me is a step too far. Only because you have been the zorua's one kind friend have I helped you."

I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I mean—one?"

"Be silent! Let me determine how I should re-apply his hypnosis."

He set aside the rake he had been using on Shelia's backyard, leaned against his home, and idly played with his yo-yo with his eyes closed. I stood there and watched his eyes flick back and forth beneath their lids and thought about the consequences of what I was doing to Manny. My selfish side didn't care what it took to keep him seeing my mirage as long as he was as happy as I knew I could make him, but then again, my selfish side didn't want him living a life in love with "Lilith." I wanted him to love Maggie, to hold her again like he did that one night long ago. Lilith needed more time to finish her work, but I did not want to live my own life as an endless masquerade. Lilith couldn't even grunt out basic words that any domestic mute can approximate if he tries. Considering that, while Franz considered whatever he was thinking of, I wondered if Lilith could get a small improvement.

"Franz." I had to gently shake him out of it. "You understand me now, so you'll have to hypnotize me again so I can talk like a strange human when I go back, right?"

He grunted again. "Yes."

"I know it will be riskier, but can you make it so I can control what sounds I say? I might need to talk to another pokemon without being snapped out of it, and since what you did can let me say human sounds, if I can choose which ones, I could at least make simple words. I know the reading of all the words on my cards and we've communicated with those for years, so if I could make their sounds, even badly..."

Franz dangled his yo-yo again for a few seconds and stared into my eyes as I became drowsy. It snapped back up into his palm and he said, "I'll try. I offer no guarantee that your plan will work the way you hope it will."

I nodded slowly and spoke slowly. "Thank you, Franz. So much."

His yo-yo dangled and swung again. I started to fade away.

"I'll come at my convenience to hypnotize your master again. It will only take a moment, so I will come in the night. Until then, let your love for him steady your lust."



When I got home that evening, Manny's car was gone. Paul was in the living room with a large paper pad on an easel. The house shook with orchestra music; the kind you hear when Hell opens up and a demon escapes from the ground, or when an evil wizard summons terrible storms. He wore a black outfit, so dark that even the bright lights he set up in the living room could not change his body's shape from much more than a silhouette. Only a red bow-tie and handkerchief stood out.

"Welcome home, Magdalene! Your Manny may be returning soon. He asked me to do for him some drawing of these persons and went shopping to Linalool to kill time while I create. What do you see, good?"

I stepped around the easel. There were two figures. One was obviously some biker guy. The other was me, Lilith. I had no idea what Manny saw when he looked at me after being hypnotized. The description he gave Paul to work from apparently described a very attractive human, and somehow I felt a little jealous of myself.

"Do forgive that I had you in mind when I drew this woman bandit, but he said she and you are very alike in ways, so I stole your details here and there to fill in gaps. Especially there." He pointed out Lilith's eyes. "I apologize, because eyes are windows to someone's soul, and I feel bad putting your soul behind these eyes of a mean woman."

Paul turned off the music and frowned at the soft pastel fingerprints left on the stereo. How his clothing always remained immaculate I will never know. "Now, I must wash this mess off of my hands and go to my work. Do for me one favor, put these lights into my storage." He walked into the kitchen toward the sink.

Paul was known to be very discrete, so I decided to test myself out. "Ohhh-kei."

"Thank you, Miss Magd—do you now speak?"

I peeked into the kitchen and hummed affirmatively. I patted my chest and spoke one word at a time. "Try talk." I looked down. "Hard work." I pointed at him. "Get secret."

Paul drew a wet and soapy finger across his lips, twisted his wrist, and withdrew his hand with a flourish. I guessed that was an agreement.

Soon, Paul disappeared into the night. I sat in the living room, admired the artwork, and relaxed into half of a nap until Manny returned. He hugged me tightly but chastely as soon as we came together, and I helped him bring inside what he bought; general merchandise and some uncommon groceries that are only available in the trade centers.

Manny approached the easel. "Damn, looks like he's about to jump off the page and mug me again." He glanced at Lilith, and froze up.

I stood beside him for a little bit. Then I leaned against him. He put his arm around me.

"I don't know if I can do this. She's got to be involved, it's just too much to be a coincidence, but look in those eyes. Those aren't the eyes of a criminal are they?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head no with a low grumble.

"I hope you're right."

He tore the paper away from the pad, took a pair of scissors and split the image of the biker from the image of the exotic woman, and set the latter aside before we climbed into his car and set off for Fenchone's police station. He filed a report of the assault, gave them the sketch of the biker that Anton appeared as, and did not mention a strange woman wearing a soft mienshao-fur robe.



That night, I held the other half of the paper and my card that meant "who?" such that it was all he would see when he opened the bedroom door after I knocked. He invited me in, hopped back on his bed, and muted the television while I sat beside him.

"You see, when you ran off, I went out to look for you. I was in the park in Fenchone, thought I saw you, made a wrong turn, and got robbed. When I came out of it, she was there."

He looked at the paper for a little bit, then he set it aside. I was a little surprised when he leaned forward and grabbed my arms, forcing me to come towards him. He pulled me into a hug while turning me around, so I was lying against his chest as he leaned against his pillows and headboard.

"I hope she comes back. I want you to meet her. So far, Maggie, you've always been right about the girls I pick being no good, and I've never listened to you until I'd already stepped in it. So, I want you to meet Lilith and make the call for me, because I just don't know. It's like she makes me feel so, complete. God, I always hated that expression, but; but, something's wrong about her. When I step back and look at the whole situation, everything about it, her, seems phony. I don't know what I should do if she does come back. But, I know you'll know. Maggie, I'm trusting your instincts this time. Well, I've always trusted you, but I kept hoping each time that you would be wrong."

He hugged me tight, took a deep breath, and held it. To be honest, I've never liked artificial fruit scents, but I loved how he reacted to them.

We watched television together all evening. Taking strategic control of the remote, I even got an extra half-hour to finish a film that he thought I cared about finishing. Really though, I was just hoping to entrench my position. I think it almost worked.

When he shooed me away, I changed tactics. I took the drawing and put it on his pillow beside him. I shuffled rapidly through my cards, "want, this, here?"

Manny laughed. "The paper? Not really. The person on it? I think so. But that'll be your decision. If you sense anything off about her, tell me."

I shuffled again and took a gamble that it might break the hypnosis if he thought about it later. I needed to know how Lilith's appearance compared to mine. I held up, "look, same, pokemon," and added a gesture to indicate myself.

"Yeah, she does look like you. Maybe that's why I think she's so adorable. Or maybe I have a thing for strong girls who look good in white and lavender."

He crawled over the bed and offered me a hug, an invitation I accepted immediately.

"I don't know if I can handle it, having both of you in my life. That might be too much of a good thing."

I wanted to slap him, but it wasn't his fault. It was mine. I wanted to slap myself, but that wouldn't fix things. So, I held him as tight as I could without hurting him.

"Okay, Maggie. Mag, let me go. Too much of a good thing."

I knew I needed to get away, but as I left with hurried steps I hesitated at his door to flash three cards, "not good, best."







A few towns to the east of Carthamus, and a little north, too, stood a man roughly shoving a fuel pump nozzle into its slot, waiting for his receipt and waiting for his pokemon.

"Adolf Miesetier?"

The biker glanced over his shoulder while screwing the cap back onto the tank of his chopper.

"I'm detective Palmer, Rennin Police Department. I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Is this about that shit last month up in Dithio?"

"I am not aware of any incident there, Sir. A report of assault and robbery was filed last night in Fenchone Plantation. The alleged victim supplied a sketch which the department distributed around the region. Do you recognize this man?" Detective Palmer showed the biker a facsimile of the original sketch given with Manny's report.

"Looks like me, but I haven't robbed anybody lately."

A light and cheerful female voice erupted from behind the fuel pump. "And you need to. We're getting poor and I'm getting bored." A lopunny with a backpack dangling from her left arm came around and walked up to the biker. She slapped his ass with her right paw. "What does the fuzz want?"

Palmer ignored the pokemon. "Where were you on the night of the fifth?"

Eva pounced on the question. "I had him pinned between my thighs most of the time."

Adolf grasped both of her ears and tugged them upward, making her yelp. "Shut up and get my seat warm, woman."

The lopunny shoved his chest and made him stagger back a half-step. "Hey, I told you only to do that during dungeon night!"

Palmer forced a cough.

The biker addressed the question. "The fifth, we were way out west, riding along Palmitoy Creek."

"Do you have any way to prove that?"

"Yeah, I got pulled over for a burned out plate light. I'm sure they'll tell you all about it; nothing ever happens out there, so I probably made their evening. Are we free to go?"

"No, but if you will wait patiently for a few minutes and if the Palmitoy department corroborates your statement, you will no longer be a person of interest in this case."

Eva pulled a beer out of her backpack and uncapped it with her teeth.

Palmer placed a call, waited on hold for a short time, shared a few words, and hung up. "Alright, you're free to go. Thank you for your co-operation."

Eva slid off of the seat so the biker could mount his chopper. "Pleasure doing business with you, Fuzz. Want a hit?" She offered the bottle to Palmer, who declined wordlessly. She climbed on again, clinging tightly to her partner as his bike peeled away.







Manny awoke not to his alarm clock but to a telephone call from the F.P.P.D.

"What? But it was a perfect match. I picked him out of the array of mugshots, the computer face thing picked him out, too. How could—Palmitoy? No, you're right, he would have to be in two places at once. He doesn't have a twin does he? Yeah, yeah. Thanks."

I sipped some orange juice from a small box while straining to overhear his conversation down the hall. Two places at once. If he wanted me, Maggie, to meet me, Lilith, I'd have to somehow do that. I didn't think Franz could, or would, manipulate Manny's mind enough to pull it off. It was bad enough already that, assuming it worked, when he came out of his bedroom this morning he would see me as—

"Lilith?"

—again, and think that—

"Maggie must have let you in, where is she?"

"Von lega mukako." I stepped forward, grabbed his head with my palms, and pulled him into a kiss. He quickly shared my sentiment. It felt wonderful.

We made a simple breakfast: toast, butter, jam, juice. I reclined against him as we sat on the couch and enjoyed the warm morning sunlight coming through the big front window. It was almost too relaxing. I wanted to fall asleep more than I wanted to munch on toast. That wasn't going to happen, though, since Manny wanted to figure out why Lilith was here and Magdalene was not. With nodded yeses and shaken noes, I steered his train of thought as safely as I could. He seemed to arrive at a conclusion that Maggie wandered away again, left the door unlocked, and that Lilith didn't bother to knock or ring the bell. Being in his loving embrace was the comfort I for so long sought, but now it was uncomfortable. Not because I didn't feel good sitting with him, but because I was annoyed that he was thinking about a me, when I wanted him to think about my me. Of course if he thought about that me, he would raise his guard again, so the me he was thinking about was the best I could hope for at the time, but it wasn't the one he was truly holding and that longed for his attention that it now received through deception. I don't know if that makes any sense now; I didn't then, either.

Manny started talking off to the side. "Maggie's been acting so weird lately; kinda moody and disappearing without a word. I don't know, maybe she found a male she likes and is spending time with him. I did that once in my life, too. Uh, genders reversed, I mean. I guess that's good, I was getting a little worried. She never showed any interest in boys, except for one and I think they had a falling out. I hope this isn't a rebound thing because of that. She doesn't need to go through what I have. Oh, I'm sorry, Lil', I started thinking out loud. Hey, if you met a man you liked, you'd do some crazy things, right?"

I laughed and agreed. "Deho leve ayatko tojt seer."

Manny brushed away some toast crumbs and cleared his throat. "I know I've done a few crazy things recently, too." Looking at me while he said that, I noticed a flash of revelation in his eyes as he surely realized that I was one of the crazy things he was doing. He shifted in his seat and slid me away from his side.

"I don't know how to say this. Lilith, I—I know you can't give me much of an answer that I can understand, but I need to know: what do I mean to you? It's, if we're just casual to you, that's okay. But, I need to know if that's it, or if you want more. Because if you do, Lilith, well, that's more than okay. Okay?"

I leaned against Manny and grasped his hands, then I spoke softly against his left ear. "Von-o-kono a-le ies."

For a second time on my responsibility, Manny was a little late for work again, but it wasn't as good as it was before. He wasn't giving all of himself to me like he had been. He was holding back, distracted, worried, pensive. I knew what was wrong. I, Maggie, had not given him approval. I needed to rubber stamp Lilith so he could trust me with his unfettered love again.

I needed to be in two places at once.



"Okay, that's his car. It's showtime. I know this is really putting you out. Thank you. You're a real good friend, Anton."

(The zoroark suppressed all of his emotional response to the mienshao's statement.)

Manny entered, sifting through the mail as usual. He fumbled an envelope when he looked up and saw both of his best girls seated in his living room. Side by side, we looked even more similar than he expected.

"Lilith, Maggie, I've finally got you two together in one room!"

Anton shuffled through my cards. Considering he had only a one hour crash course to work from, he looked competent enough in handling them, and flashed "what? do, now, we."

I noticed Manny's subtle flinch. Anton had the right words, but I would not put the cards in that order.

"I don't know. I want to say, get to know each other better, but if you two have had all day, you're probably at the part where you take turns saying things that I'd be embarrassed to know you're saying about me."

Anton and I glanced at each other with mirrored smirks to make Manny break a sweat. He went to the kitchen and returned with some drinks. "Okay, if you're saying things behind my back, that's fine, but how are you talking?" He glanced at Anton, seeing me. "You're a mute, and you," then toward me, seeing Lilith, "I don't know if anyone else on this planet understands what you say."

Anton started shuffling through the cards. He looked panicked; not like someone, me, who knew what she was doing with them. I had to intercede, so I pulled out a stop.

"Secret."

Thankfully, that both halted Anton's effort and drew Manny's fullest attention.

"Lilith? You've been holding out on me?"

"Von lega azamgoj spek t'nek!" I shook my head, it was so easy to talk that way. "Old day, leave house, get talk."

Manny furrowed his brow. "You've disappeared because you went somewhere to learn to speak my language? I don't understand. Where—"

Anton held a couple cards. "Don't ask."

We sat there and wasted about an hour passing sentence fragments around. The awkwardness kept piling up with every passing minute. Fortunately, we were saved by the telephone.

"Yes? Really. I'll tell you what, Shelia; Maggie's been coming and going at odd times, so if Anton's disappearing too, I wouldn't be surprised if they're sneaking out to 'play' somewhere along Route F-C."

Anton overheard, and realized it was time for him to go.

Manny called out to Anton as soon as he set his phone down on its pedestal. "Maggie?"

Anton was already thinking out of character and ignored the name of his illusion at first, but Manny caught up with him at the door.

"Hey, it's okay, you go have your fun. But, what do you think? I told you I'm letting you make the call this time."

Anton looked back at me, and I silently begged him to approve. He did, but he did it wrong. He winked at Manny, which was okay, with his left eye, which was not. Manny was too happy from receiving the go-ahead to notice that at the time.



Franz's hypnosis effect held as the following days passed along. I couldn't keep asking Anton to keep traveling the route between our towns just to make cameo appearances, especially since Anton wasn't convincing enough to fool someone I'd lived with for years. Only because I had been "acting so weird lately" did Anton's Maggie pass at all. Fortunately, Lilith had a way to get rid of Magdalene indefinitely. Typical to his sex, with Manny satisfied for the evening, I slipped out of our bed and laid out my cards to leave a message, that I was happy out there and would try fending for myself like Caleb had. And, that I wished him well with Lilith. I felt terrible watching him decipher the message over breakfast that morning. He felt like I abandoned him, and that it was his fault by bringing Lilith in and crowding me out. Plus, he didn't want to imply blame of Lilith with her standing right there, so he bottled it up as best he could. I think it hurt me to see it as much as it hurt him to experience it. At least I was there to comfort him in a generic way.

I thought that it would make things easier, but really it made things trickier. He was accustomed to having Maggie keeping him company. Now, he wanted Lilith to accompany him out on the town. Not that I did not want to be with him; I loved traveling around with him, even if it wasn't to anywhere more exciting than the mail office or a grocery store. But, since I wasn't a mienshao to him anymore, he didn't treat me like a pokemon in public. Depending on where you are and who you are around, that can cause a problem. Worse, said public would still treat me as I am. All I needed was for one wiseguy to say something like, "that's a sexy mienshao you got on your arm, pervert," and unless Manny assumed it was a joke about Lilith's eccentric attire, the perception could shatter.

I was playing hot potato with our hearts. I had to make sure I was holding his, and he, mine, when the music stopped.