A pokémon couple was walking through the woods on a bright and sunny afternoon. The sun shone through the trees, illuminating the forest floor in the same manner as stage spotlights. The trees were large and wide, with their heights ranging around 100-150 feet tall. The pokémon couple consisted of a male golduck and a female raichu. The color of the golduck's feathers was navy blue. He had black eyes and a deep orange bill. He was of average height. The raichu stood a few inches over three feet, had light orange fur, and light green eyes. The insides of her ears were a dark yellow color with a gold tint. Her thunderbolt shaped tail resembled the same color as well. They frolicked along the woods, telling jokes to one another. They kept moving on until the golduck suddenly tripped over something.

"Holy shit!" the golduck exclaimed as he flew a few feet and fell down flat on the ground. The raichu immediately came to her mate's aid.
"Dario, are you okay?" asked the raichu.
"Yeah," responded Dario, "What did I trip over?"
They looked back and saw a male sandslash slouched down against a tree. He had his legs outstretched. His teal-colored eyes were half covered by its eyelids. He also had tan brown fur. The color of the spikes all over his back was red. Regardless of the fact that Dario just tripped over his leg. He did not even look at the couple. He kept gazing forward. It seemed as if he was in another world.
"Whoa, I didn't see that sandslash there," said Dario as he rose to his feet, "Did you, Meridan?"
"No," answered Meridan.
"Ummm, hello," Dario called out.
The sandslash did not respond.
"Heeeellllllloooooo, sandslash guy." Dario walked in front of the mole like pokémon.
"I think you should apologize," said Meridan.
"For what?"
"Tripping over his leg."
"Hey, he had it sticking out."
"From what it looks like he had that leg stuck out for a while."
"Alright. Fine. Hey sandslash guy. I'm sorry."
The sandslash remained silent.
"I think he's a mute," said Meridan, "Maybe deaf too."
"Yeah, maybe," replied Dario, "Then why his deaf/mute ass isn't even looking at us. He should know that something hit him by now."
Dario came closer to the sandslash and began snapping his fingers in front of its face. It laid no affect on the sandslash. "I think something is wrong with him."
"I think," Meridan spoke up, "We should leave him alone. He's starting to give me the creeps."
The golduck stared at the sandslash for a while and then turned around.
"Okay, let's go," said Dario.
"It's about time," agreed Meridan.
The couple turned around and left the sandslash alone in the area. The moment they left the area, the sandslash slowly moved and stared in the direction where the couple left.

A few hours later, the golduck and the raichu were lying down a few feet away from a small pond. They were in a wide-open area surrounded by trees. They were side by side, lying down in a large and immensely covered grass patch located in the middle of the area. Meridan had nuzzled her body into Dario's side and had her head resting on his chest. Dario had one of his long blue arms wrapped around Meridan's shoulder.
"Hey, Dario," said Meridan, "How long have we been together?"
"Six months," answered Dario.
"Remember how we first met?"
"You were having a cuss fest with a horny electrivire. I butted in and got my ass kicked. And for some reason, you felt compassion for the loser with the black eye and offered to make it up to him. Next thing you know, you had me sprawled out on the ground and was riding my-"
"Whoa," said Meridan as she covered Dario's mouth with her paw, "I'm surprised you remembered the full details."
"How could I forget? That was the best and the craziest night of my life."
"Little ole me is responsible for that."
"Yep. You and that big ole ass."
Meridan gave him a light smack across the face.
"Hey!" exclaimed Meridan, "I'm sensitive about that and you know it."
"Please, Meridan," said Dario, "You know your ass is one of your finest features. Whenever we walk past the woods, guys be breakin they necks just to get look at your ba-dunk-a-dunk-dunk. That's why whenever they look at me, I point at it and then point at myself and say that's mine."
"So that's what you be doing when you turn around. You little sneak."
"And besides, anal with that ass is almost like going to heaven. It's so nice and firm and when you squeeze that thing on my-"
"Alright, buster!" Meridan brought her tail up and hooked Dario's neck in the thunderbolt edge. "Any more perverted comments about my ass and I'll turn you into neon duck sign."
"Wait. Doesn't us being boyfriend and girlfriend allow me to make perverted remarks?"
"No." Electricity began to sparkle from her cheeks.
"Okay. I'm sorry."
"That's more like it." She lowered her tail from his neck and snuggled up against Dario. "Back to the subject at hand. I've been thinking lately."
"About what?" asked Dario.
"About us," answered Meridan.
"What about us?"
"You know, we've been together for awhile."
"Yeah."
"What do you think about children?"
"Whoa! Where did this come from?"
"I'm just saying. We've been together for a couple of months and I was wonderin what you think about children."
"I don't."
"Really. You never thought about having children."
"No. I probably would have ... you know ... later on."
"Later on? Dario. We have sex almost every night. You never thought that one day I might eventually get pregnant."
"Wait! You're pregnant!"
"NO! It's just that. You know. What if one day, I do."
Dario started to think about the conversation he was having with Meridan. It was kind of weird to him for her to bring this up. Meridan was more of the party all night, no worries type of girl. How do you go from "How many sitrus berries you think I can eat" to "You ever thought about children".
"Umm, Meridan," said Dario.
"Yes," replied Meridan.
"Do you ... want to get pregnant?"
"N-no. Why?"
"Cause it's kinda out of the ordinary question coming from you."
"No. It's just that. I was just thinking about Kelly and Jeran. They have been together for about the same amount of time as we have and she's already pregnant with Jeran's pups."

Kelly was a meganium and Jeran was a manetric. They had hooked up almost one month after Dario and Meridan. Kelly was Meridan's best friend ever since they were kids. A week ago, Kelly had told Meridan that she was pregnant. Kelly had checked by a local chansey, when she started having some stomach pains, began feeling nauseous, and started to eat more than she regularly would. Her stomach started to bulge when Kelly had met up with Meridan.

"Oh," said Dario, "Yeah."
"Look," said Meridan, "I'm not saying that I want to have children. We just have to consider the possibility. One of these days, I might get pregnant. I just think we should prepare just in case if something like that happens."
"Hey. I have an idea! Let's not have sex. That will solve the problem."
"Dario, please. You not have sex. That's impossible. Everybody knows you as the horny duck. Better said than done with you. You wouldn't last two days without sex."
"I'll jack off."
"Now yow know you bullshittin. After having real sex, you really think dry fuckin yourself will satisfy your urges. Besides, you wouldn't do it knowing that there's good pussy around and it's available to you. Cause I sure as hell ain't gonna finger myself knowin that there's good dick around and available to me."
"Fine. We'll Just have anal sex."
"Uh-uh. I love anal sex and I mean loooovvveeee. But that shit hurts. I am not gonna be walking with a limp just because we don't want me gettin pregnant."
"Well we're fucked then."
"Yes."
"Okay. Can we talk about something else?"
"Why?"
"Because I don't feel like talking about ... pregnancy."
"Well. I don't fell like talking about anything else. Dario, you can't run away from this. You know it's bound to happen."
"I just ... rather not talk about it right now. How about later."
"Fine. If you don't wanna talk about it. Then go and get me some berries. I'm hungry"
"Alright."
Dario slowly got up and left the raichu in the area. The moment the golduck left their home. The raichu jumped up, ran to the lake and hurled. When Meridan stopped vomiting, she broke a leaf off of a nearby tree and wiped her face with it.
"It's a good thing he left when he did," she said as she finished wiping her face, "I didn't think I could hold it in any longer."
Meridan walked back over to the spot that she and her mate were lying down. She sat down and began to look in the direction that Dario went to go berry hunting. Dammit, she thought, I didn't want to have to lie to you Dario. I'm gonna have tell him sometime before my belly begins to bulge. I'm not sure if he would take it well. He got nervous the moment I started to mention pregnancy. He's gonna flip when he finds out he's gonna be a father.

After a half-an-hour, Dario was walking back to Meridan with a pile of berries heaved in his arms. While he was walking, he passed the same sandslash from before. The sandslash was in the same position as he was when Dario first saw him. Dario stopped in front of the sandslash and stared at him for a while. The sandslash continued to stare in a blank space, completely ignoring Dario's presence. Dario finally broke eyesight and began to walk away.

"Are those berries for her?"
Dario immediately stopped and turned around to see the sandslash looking at him.
"What?" asked Dario in disbelief.
"Are those berries for her?" repeated the sandslash.
"Uhhh ... yeah."
"Is she your mate."
"Y-yes."
"Do you love her."
What the fuck is this, thought Dario, one minute he was just sitting there, almost lifeless, and then next thing you know he's asking me about my love life.
"I-I thought you couldn't talk," said Dario.
"Well, surprise, surprise," replied the sandslash, "Do you love her?"
"Yes."
"Does she love you?"
"Yes."
"How do you know?"
"Because ... she told me."
"How do you know she's not lying?"
"I-I don't."
"How do you know she's not fucking someone else?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Dario dropped the berries in his arms. He know had an infuriated look on his face.
"What I'm talking about?" said the sandslash in a perplexed tone, "I'm talking about the heartless creatures known as females."
"What?"
"Women? Do you know what they do? All women do...is want. They want, and want, and want. And how do they get what they want. They get it through males. They tell men all sorts of things. They use beauty and features to make them their slaves. To make us do their bidding. Sometimes, they seduce us into giving them what they want. A woman is a cruel being. They are manipulators. The moment you tell a woman you love her. Is the moment that she has you by the balls."
"What?"
"You heard me. Women are creatures who want. The moment they find out that you can't give them what they want. They desert you. They desert you for other men. And then they eventually get deserted. It's one big fucking cycle. They don't fucking care about your feelings. The only thing they care about is themselves and what you can do for them. When they find out you can't fulfill their wishes. That's when they reveal who they really are."
"I don't know what your fuckin problem is, dude. I don't know what you're talkin about. Meridan's nothing like that."
"Would you die for her?"
"Yes!"
"Would she die for you?"
"Yes!"
"How do you know?!"
"I just do!"
The sandslash began to laugh the moment Dario finished saying this.
"The fuck are you laughin about?!" hollered Dario.
"I just do," mocked the sandslash, "How many relationships have you been in, Dario?"
"How do you know my name?"
"Your 'mate' said it in front of me remember."
"Oh."
"This is your first relationship isn't it?"
"So what if it is."
"You have a lot to learn buddy. I used to be just like you. Until a guy named Baret, came around and opened my eyes. Let me tell you a little story about this guy, Baret. He was a sneasel. He was young and didn't really know shit about women. Kinda like you. He had met this girl named Cicily. She was a sneasel as well. They were friends for four months. During those four months Baret started to grow on Cicily. He soon confessed his love to Cicily who so conveniently said she had the same feelings for him. They became mates and stayed with each other for ten months. Their relationship was both emotional and physical. They were even talking about having kids. Raising a family. Until one night. A marowak came and was harassing Cicily. Baret told the guy to fuck off and a fight later ensued. In the end, Baret lost the fight. Do you know what happens next?"
"No."
"The love of his life, Cicily, passed his ass, went straight to the marowak, and kissed him right on the fucking face or should I say skull. She left his ass. Wanna know why? Because she doesn't deal with losers. They spent over a year knowing each other, were family planning, and just about to move into a new home. And she fucking leaves him, just like that. Baret cried and begged her to stay with him and you know what the bitch did. She spat in his face, told him to grow a dick and left him there. Even the marowak couldn't believe she did that shit. You know what happened six months later. She dumped the marowak. Why? Because he lost in a fight against a rhydon. You don't wanna know what happened to the fucking rhydon."
"Holy shit."
"That's just the beginning of Baret's story. He's been in two relationships ever since that happened."
"What?"
"You'll see what I'm talking about sooner or later. Why don't you pick up your berries and go back to your "mate". She'll be wondering where you are by now."
The sandslash got up and walked around the tree, disappearing into the forest. Dario stared at the sandslash as he left. After a few seconds passed by. He slowly picked up the berries, left the area, and headed back home.

Later on at night. Dario was lying down beside Meridan. Meridan had her arms wrapped around the golduck and was fast asleep. However, Dario was still awake and had his arms behind his head. He was thinking about what the sandslash had told him earlier on. The words began to echo through his mind.
"Do you love her?" echoed the sandslash's voice.
"Yes," his own voice echoed back.
"Does she love you?"
"Yes."
"How do you know?"
"Because ... she told me.
Dario looked at Meridan. "Because she told me. Because she told me. Because told me."

Dario woke up the next morning with no raichu by his side. He quickly got up and looked around.
"Meridan," he called out.
He looked down and saw something written in the dirt a few feet away from where he was standing. It was a message written in pokespeak. It said, "Going over by Kelly and Jeran's place. Tried to wake you up but you were sleeping like a log. I'll be back sometime in the afternoon. Feel free to drop by if you want". A few miles away from the forest they were living in was a mountain. The mountain was inhabited by a large variety of pokémon. Jeran wanted to live there. Kelly was kinda hesitant to go live in a non-grass area. So Jeran got a few of his rock pokémon pals to make a cave at the base of the mountain so that they would be close by to the forest. Dario and Meridan would go there every now and then just to hand out. Dario was kinda surprised that she would leave without him, but he didn't let it bother him. He decided to jump in the lake and go for a swim to past time. He swam for half-an-hour and eventually got bored. It's not really that fun when you're swimming by yourself. He got out the water and dried himself off. He decided to go for a walk. He left his home and entered the more foreign parts of the forest. It wasn't very lively today. It's almost as if everybody was staying in their homes today. The only sounds that could be heard were the whistles of the wind and the leaves on the trees rustling and brushing up against each other. After awhile he began to think about the sandslash and the statement he said. He wanted to know why the sandslash gave such a derogatory description of women. He also wanted to know about this guy named Baret. What became of him and his other relationships? Dario soon decided to go and search for the sandslash. He started to walk over to the area where he found the sandslash yesterday. It took him 30 minutes to get there. He looked over to the tree where he saw the sandslash the last time. Unfortunately, to his dismay, the sandslash wasn't there. Looks like he moved to another location, thought Dario, I'm kinda glad I didn't find him. He was a pretty negative. His story was interesting, but kinda bummed me out. He turned around and jumped backwards as he came face to face with the sandslash he was looking for.

"Holy shit!" Dario yelled as he fell on his backside.
"What are looking for?" asked the sandslash as he walked passed Dario, went by his tree and sat down. "Or should I be saying, who are you looking for?"
"Well, unfortunately," said Dario as he got up and turned towards the sandslash, "I was lookin for you."
"Thought you were lookin for your 'girlfriend'."
"How did you know she was gone."
"I didn't. I just guessed. And I guessed right."
"Okay, if you must know, she's over at a friend's house."
"Mmmhhhmm. What are you doing here then?"
"I decided to go for walk."
"You're gonna let her go there by herself."
"Yes. Because I trust her. I think it's bad what happened to this Baret friend of yours, but I trust Meridan. And I know she wouldn't do to me what Cicily did to him. I don't know what kind of twisted bitch that Cicily was but, Meridan's not the same."
"Whatever you say," responded the sandslash, "What are you here for?"
"What else happened to Baret? You said he had two more relationships."
"Humph. So you're interested in this Baret loser, huh."
"Yeah, I just wanna know how he turned out."
"Well, his second relationship was with a ninetails named, Tara. He hooked up with her five months after Cicily had broken up with him. Their relationship lasted a year and a half. They seemed to be quite the lovers. She was all he needed to forget about Cicily. She was more compassionate and had a nicer personality. She loved to have sex. Every single night they would do it. The funny thing is, she never got pregnant. It got some people wondering about the two. If Baret's boys were not able to swim or if Tara's tubes were tied. The couple lived on an open grassland plain with a lot of other pokémon. Then an incident happened. There was a large group of tauros living in the plains. They were regularly attacked by predators every now then. But this time was different. The herd was being attacked by a pack of mightyenas. Tara was taking one of her 'beauty' naps when the tauros were stampeding in her direction. Baret was hanging out with a couple of friends when this was happening. Baret had looked out and saw the tauros heading towards Tara. The mightyena were nipping and biting at the legs of the tauros hoping to weaken one of them. Baret broke out of the group and began to run towards Tara. The moment Tara woke up and saw the stampede coming towards her she couldn't move. She was in shock. Like a stantler caught in the headlights. The stampede accelerated towards the ninetails, sealing her doom. But suddenly, someone grabbed Tara, breaking her trance. It was Baret. He grabbed Tara, and swung her around and around. He used that momentum to fling her out of the way. The moment he did this, he was swallowed by the stampeding tauros. Tara flew twenty yards away from where Baret was standing. His friends caught her before she hit the ground. Believe it or not, he survived from being run over by the tauros. He was fucked up though. He received treatment from some of the chanseys. His body was covered and restrained in a cast made from branches, tree bark, and vines. It would take him six months to heal. Halfway through his treatment, Tara came in guess what she said."
"No fucking way," said Dario.
"Yes, fucking way. The chanseys said that he had an 80% chance that he would be paralyzed from the waist down. Tara was getting kinda impatient from waiting for him to heal. When she heard about the 80% chance shit. She told Baret 'I think we should start seeing other people.', besides the fact that the guy risked his life to protect her. Matter of fact, it was because of her that he was in the cast in the first place. The only reason she stayed with Baret is because he happened to be a good sex partner. With his lower body out of commission he was of no use to her. So she got with another guy. But surprising to him, he qualified for the 20% and in four months, he had full control over a miserable body."
"..."
"You there, Dario."
"Yeah. That's messed up."
Dario turned around and began to walk away slowly.
"Where ya going."
"To see Meridan."
"Hope she's where she says she is."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know what that's supposed to mean."

Dario had reached the mountainside an hour later. He began circling the mountain, heading towards Kelly and Jeran's cave. He soon came to the entrance of the cave and to his surprise. Meridan was having a conversation with Kelly and Jeran. But Meridan wasn't alone. There was a lucario standing beside her. The lucario was over four five tall going on five, and had a very thick blue and black fur coat. His right ear was halfway bent in a cute fashion. The lucario had wide grin on his face while listening to Jeran talk. The lucario and Meridan were standing pretty close together. The lucario had his arm wrapped around Meridan's shoulder. That was Dario's spot. Who the fuck is that, thought Dario. He began to walk briskly towards the cave.

"Have you told Dario yet?" asked Kelly in an excited tone.
"No, I haven't told him yet," answered Meridan, "I really don't know how to tell him neither. He got nervous just from the thought of pregnancy. I don't know how he'll react if he knows that I am actually pregnant."
"I know how he'll react," Jeran spoke up, "He'll piss himself."
The whole group started to laugh.
"I'm serious," continued Jeran with a straight face, "He'll fucking piss himself. I've known him long enough to know he ain't ready fo' no damn kids."
"Cut him some slack, Jer," said Kelly.
"I'm curious to meet this boyfriend of yours, Meri," said the lucario, "Didn't you say he was coming."
"Well, Trevor," said Meridan, "To tell you the truth I don't know if he is coming or not."
"Hello," said a voice outside of the cave.
A golduck soon came into the entrance of the cave.
"Speaking of the devil," said Jeran.
"Baby!" said Meridan as ran over to Dario, got on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm glad you came."
"I'm glad I did too," said Dario slowly as he looked at the lucario.
"How you doing, Dario?" asked Kelly.
"I'm alright. What are you guys doing here?"
"Meridan was just telling us that she was pr-," Jeran began to say but was stopped when Kelly slammed her forepaw on Jeran's forepaw. He shut his mouth holding back a yelp.
"She was what."
"IIIIII," Meridan stressed out regaining Dario's attention, "Was preparing you a birthday present. These guys were helping me."
"Hello," said Trevor as he walked up to Dario, "I don't believe we've met. My name is Trevor. I'm old-time friend of Meridan."
The lucario stretched out his paw. Dario hesitantly grabbed Trevor's paw and shook it.
"You guys are planning something for my birthday. What is it?"
"It's a secret jackass," said Jeran, "If we wanted you to know we'd be talking over your place."
"Then how come Meridan asked me over."
"We were waitin fo' yo ass, but you was taking forever to get here so we started planning."
"And where does Trevor fit in this. No offense, but I don't even know this guy."
"None taken," said Trevor, "I had recently moved here in the mountain. My cave is a few feet higher on the mountain. Me and Meridan were reacquainted about over a week ago. She told me that she here because her friend, Kelly had something important to tell her. I think it was that you were pregnant."
Trevor turned around and looked at Kelly.
"Yep," replied Kelly, "That's right."
"Meridan's been telling me a lot of things about you. Tells me that you are the man of her dreams."
"Trevor!" exclaimed Meridan as her cheeks blushed.
"Oh he's tellin the truth," said Kelly, "We all know that you looooovvvvvve you some Dario."
The whole group began to laugh again while Dario gave a nervous chuckle as he started looking at Trevor again. He just couldn't get the image out of his head. The image of Trevor's arm around Meridan's shoulder. That image disturbed him for the rest of the night.

Dario and Meridan stayed at Kelly's and Jeran's place for a few hours talking along with Trevor joining in every now then. They left the cave late at night and started headed home.
"So this Trevor guy's an old friend of yours?" questioned Dario.
"Yes," replied Meridan, "You seem very interested in him for some reason."
"It's just that I've never seen him before."
"Yeah, but the looks you were giving him had me kinda suspicious."
"What do you mean?"
"You're not turning gay on me are ya?"
"What!"
"I know the curved ear is quite cute and attractive. I saw you looking him over and you seemed to stop at that point."
"I just thought it was kinda weird."
"Or cute."
"I don't know where this gay thing came from. But I'm not gay."
"You like anal a lot."
"Because your ass is magnificent."
"What did I tell you about talkin about my ass."
"You brought it up."
"Wwwhatevveeeerrr."
She came closer and wrapped her arm around Dario's waist.
"So what were doing that took you so long to come here?" asked Meridan.
"At first, I swam around in the pond," said Dario, "That was kinda boring."
"Why?"
"Cause you weren't there."
"Aaawwwwwww. What did you do after that?"
"Well, I went walking through the woods."
"... That's it."
"Yep."
"Seriously? You just went walking in the woods."
"Yeah. I got bored of that after awhile and decided to take up on the invitation and head over to the cave."
"Ooooookay."
"What."
"You spent all that time swimming through the pond by yourself and walking by yourself. Suuusssspppiccious"
"Whatever."
"Hey. You're supposed to stress out the whatever."
"Whatever."
"Phooey. You're no fun."
"So you guys are planning something for my birthday, huh?"
"Yep."
"What is it?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
"Okay then, what were you guys laughin about inside the cave before I got there."
"That's for me to know ... and you to find out."
"Why can't you just tell me."
"Cause it'd be more fun for you to find out."
"Why is that?"
"Cause life is more fun when you find things out. You just wait birthday boy."

A few minutes later they reached their home. They nestled down in their bed and went to sleep. The next day, the couple had a nice long swim in the pond in front of them. After they were done, Meridan said that she was going back to Kelly's and Jeran's to do some more planning and threatened to make Dario her own personal lightning rod if he followed. Dario complied and stayed behind in their home area. He lay back on the grass-covered ground and watched the clouds go by. Hours passed and he began to think about that lucario again. The image was still stuck in his head. Why the hell did he have his arm around her shoulder, thought Dario, Almost as if he was claiming her as his own. Why the hell did Jeran and Kelly accept him so quickly? When these thoughts started to cloud his mind. He remembered the sandslash. He didn't tell me what happened with Baret's last relationship, thought Dario. Dario got up and decided to go look for the sandslash again.

Time rapidly flew by as he walked through the woods; Dario was not able to find the sandslash anywhere. Where did he go, thought Dario, it's almost as if he upped and disappeared. Dario almost covered the whole forest that he was living in and still found no sign of the sandslash. He soon gave up and decided to walk home. After awhile, he reached his home for a big surprise. The sandslash was standing there looking towards the pond.
"Dude, what are you doing here?" said Dario.
"This is a nice pond you have here," said the sandslash.
"How'd you find this place?"
"You're scent is very easy to follow. Let me guess. You were looking for me weren't you?"
"Unfortunately, yes I was. You didn't finish the story pal. What happened in Baret's last relationship?"
"His last relationship. That's his best one. That one lasted for three years."
"What? You mean to tell me none of his relationships lasted."
"Yep. None of his relationships worked. This time it was an absol named Carol. It was love at first sight, well ... at least for Baret. It was more like bullshit at first sight for the absol. They were always seen together no matter what. They slept together, walked together, talked together, they even took a shit together. Everything seemed to be perfect for Baret. He felt that Carol understood him and all his pain. Baret had told Carol about Cicily and Tara and she felt sorry for him. She told him that she would never desert him like they did. Of course, that was a big fucking lie. The end came at the last month that they spent together. Baret had impregnated her a week before the month began. They were both living in a cave on a mountain a few miles away from here."
"What?"
"You know the mountain? It's a few miles south of your home."
"Yeah, we go there to meet friends every now and then."
"Yeah. Well anyways. For some reason, Carol started to ignore Baret from time to time. She would go out and leave the cave without even telling him what was going on. At first he thought it was just her dealing with the pregnancy. But after awhile, he started worry about her. He tried to start conversations with her, but she just kept ignoring him. But soon she stopped ignoring and began yelling, giving off outbursts of anger towards Baret. She started to curse, insult, and degrade his name. It was scaring the crap out of Baret. He didn't know what he was doing that was infuriating Carol. Baret loved her. He didn't want to lose her like the rest of the mates he had before. He was getting desperate. He started asking his best friend, Jacob if he could help him out. Jacob as we know was always there from the start. He was always there for him when he needed him. He was there to help Baret cope when he was dumped in his last two relationships. He told Baret to give her a surprise dinner. So that's what he did. Baret went out and killed a stantler. He scraped and sliced the meat off of the dead stantler's bones and placed it on pile of leafs spread out in a circular fashion. He surrounded the meat with a large assortment of berries. He placed all of this in the cave and waited for Carol to return. He waited hours and hours, but there was no Carol to be seen. After awhile he gave up and went to sleep. He woke up the next morning and the food was still there. Carol was still nowhere to be seen. She came later that day and blew up when Baret asked her where she was. Baret decided to go to sleep earlier that day. While he was sleeping. Carol got up and left the cave while he was asleep. Unknown to her, Baret had awoken the moment she stepped out of the cave. He decided to follow her to see where she was going."


Carol slowly walked as she ascended the mountain. Looking back every now and then to see if anyone was following her. She kept going up the mountain until she reached the top. The top of the mountain is a large flat surface with the shape of a circle. It was about 50 meters in diameter. A typhlosion was standing there near the edge, staring out towards the forest below. However, it was not just any typhlosion; it was Jacob. She slowly walked up behind him, but stopped when he heard him say "You're late".
"I was waiting for that long-clawed fuck to go to sleep," said Carol.
"I'd prefer it if you didn't call him that, Carol," responded Jacob, "He's my friend."
"If was really you're friend you wouldn't be fucking me."
"..."
The absol came closer to the typhlosion and began to rub up and down against.
"He's gonna find out sooner or later, Carol," said Jacob, "About us."
"Let him find out," responded Carol, "I don't care. The sooner the better. He's a loser anyway."
She used her paw to turn the typhlosion male around so that he was facing her. He got on her hind legs and pressed her forepaws body weight on Jacob.
"Give mama a kiss," said Carol.
She then pressed her lips against Jacob's and they began to lock tongues when suddenly.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
The two secret lovers immediately broke the kiss and turned in the direction of the voice to see an angry sneasel storming towards them.
"Wait," Jacob said quickly, "Baret, I can expla-"
Jacob's statement was cut off by Baret's fist. Jacob fell to the ground from the blow. The moment he fell to the ground was also the moment that Baret jumped on him. Baret began to pummel Jacob's face into the ground with his fists. Jacob's nose was cracked and his skull was busted open with blood seeping from it.
"GET OFF OF HIM!" screamed Carol. She ran towards Baret and tackled him right off of Jacob. Baret fumbled and rolled off of the battered typhlosion. Carol then charged Baret with a slash attack, but Baret blocked it with a slash attack of his own. Baret with a slash attack of his own.
He pushed Carol off of him and screamed, "WHY! Why Carol! I was a fucking good mate! What the fuck did I do to deserve this?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing. And that's exactly what you mean to me now. Nothing!"
"Three years, Carol. Three fucking years! Are you calling three years NOTHING!"
"What were those three years, Baret. Three years of cradling me, being scared that I would leave you. You have no backbone. I needed a man, not a pussy. And that was where Jacob fitted in."
"I ... can't believe this! I can't believe you!"
"Well believe it, Baret. I'm leaving you for Jacob."
"What about the kids, Carol? Did you even think about our kids?!"
Carol started to laugh the moment Baret mentioned this.
"The fuck is you laughing for Carol!" exclaimed Baret.
"You're only half right, Baret," laughed Carol.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're not the father of these kids, Baret. Jacob is."
Baret's eyes widened upon hearing this. His arms slumped to the side as he stared at the absol standing with a smirk in front of him.
"You really thought these your kids inside of me. Ha. That thought is a laughable. You think someone as pathetic as you could have children. You didn't get any the first two times. What made you think you'd get some this time around."
Baret began to shake and look down at the ground.
"I don't love you anymore, Baret. I don't even think what I felt for you before was love. It was more like pity. Face it, Baret. The only thing someone as pathetic as yourself should be is by yourself."
Baret suddenly stopped shaking and slowly looked up at Carol. His eyes were filled with nothing but hate and anger.
"What are you gonna do, Baret. Hit me. You don't have the fucking balls."
Baret took his clawed paw and covered her face with it.

The sandslash began to stare off at the pond. Silence covered the area that Dario and the sandslash were in.
"What?" asked Dario, "What happened next?"
"In the end, Carol was right. Baret didn't have the balls to hit her. He just turned and ran away. Carol left the mountain the next day with Jacob. They were never seen again. Baret spent his miserable days in his cave. You know what he used to do before Carol fucked him up. He used to dig graves for pokémon families in the area. You know the little gravesite we got behind the mountain. He never got in another relationship with a woman again. Soon, he walked out the cave and left the mountain too. He was never seen again as well. That was two years ago."
"That's it. That's all. Baret just disappeared. Just like that."
"Yep, just like that."
"Damn. Man that really sucks. I mean all of his relationships ended in disasters. That's really pissy."
The sandslash turned around and walked over to the spot where Dario and Meridan were sleeping.
"You know what? You weren't the first pokémon to happen upon this area."
"Yeah," said Dario.
"Yeah."
The sandslash turned around and began to leave the area.
"Hey! Sandslash guy!" Dario called out, "You haven't even told me your name yet."
The sandslash stopped when Dario said this.
"That's for me to know ... and for you to find out."
"How am I supposed to find out something like that? Why can't you just tell me?"
"Because Dario." The sandslash turned its head halfway, looking back to Dario. "Life is more fun when you find things out. You'll find out sooner than you think ... birthday boy."
Dario eyes widened when he said this. The sandslash then looked straight ahead and walked out of the area, disappearing from Dario's sight. The same thing that Meridan said, thought Dario, It can't be a coincidence that he just said that. Did he follow us?
"Dario?"
Dario jumped and quickly turned around to see his mate staring at him.
"Uh, Meridan." Dario said.
"Who were you talking to?"
"Oh, you remember the sandslash I tripped over a few days ago?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well it just so seems that he can talk. He and I were just now having a conversation."
"A conversation? How come he didn't talk before when you tripped over him?"
"I dunno."
"Ooookaaaayyyy. So what were you guys talking about?"
"Relationships."
"Oh really. He has a mate?"
"I'm not sure."
"What? You were standing with a guy talking about relationships and you don't even know if the guy has a girlfriend."
"Well we were actually talking about the relationships of another guy."
"What the fuck? You mean to tell me that you guys got together and talked about the relationships of another guy?"
"It may sound strange, but it's quite interesting."
"And quite suspicious."
"I kinda think he's single. He openly told me his distaste for women."
"Distaste for women? So he's gay."
"N-no."
"You're not cheating on me with that sandslash are you?"
"No!"
"It would explain why you like anal so much."
"I am not gay!"
"Alright, calm down. I'm just teasing ya. Heh heh, you look so cute when you're mad." She walked over to her mate and kissed him on the cheek. She then lifted up his arm and placed it on her shoulder. She began to nuzzle up against the blue-feathered pokémon.
"Whatever."
"So, what have you been doing since I was gone."
"I lied down on the grass for awhile. After the boredom started to get to me, I got up and started to walk."
"You've doing a lot of that lately. You turning it into a hobby."
"Not really."
"So where does the sandslash fit into this."
"I actually walked back and met him here."
"What? He knows where we live. Stalker!"
"He's not a stalker."
"You're right. He's not just any stalker. He's a gay stalker."
Dario then gave a big sigh. He lifted his arm off Meridan and began to walk towards their sleeping spot. He collapsed onto the soft patch of grass belly first and stared at the pond before him. He soon heard a "thump" sound coming from his side. His mate curled up beside him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"What's wrong Dario?" asked Meridan.
"Nothing," he lied.
"You sure? You haven't really been yourself lately."
"What do you mean?"
"You took the gay jokes way too seriously. Whenever I do something like that, you usually retort with your own."
"Well tonight I wasn't in the joke mood."
"... You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. You heading back over to Kelly's again tomorrow."
"Naw. We've finished our plans for you."
"You mean schemes."
"That's more like it. You retorted."
"Yeah, whatever. So what are you guys 'planning'."
"That, hein Dario," said Meridan in a German accent, "Is a major government secret. Ve have vig plans for you. Vy the time you figure it out. It will be too late and you will ve castrated."

This time, Dario was the first of the two to wake up the following morning. He stretched his long blue body and got up off the grass. He walked over to the pond and washed his face in the water. When he was finished he turned around and looked at his mate. Meridan was sprawled out on the grass. Her chest heaved up and down slowly as she slept. Her long tail would flick shortly every now and then. The golduck just watched her doze in the morning sun. He started to examine her body with his eyes when he noticed that her belly had a slight bulge. I think it's about we start watching what we eat and how much we eat, thought Dario, you're starting to get a little pudgy, Meridan. Soon you'll change from slim mouse to fat rat. Dario smiled a little from the thought. Just then, Meridan began to toss and turn in her sleep. She then reached her paws out to where Dario was previously sleeping, searching for his missing body. Dario decided it was time for her to wake up. He slowly got on his knees and crept over to Meridan. He gave her a light peck on her face. Meridan stopped moving around and slowly opened her eyes to see Dario.
"Good morning, honey," said Dario.
"Mmmm," moaned Meridan as she slowly wrapped her arms around Dario, "Good morning sweetheart."
"So you're spending the day with me today."
"Yep. Just you and me."
"Well in that case, why don't we go and meet my new friend."
"You mean the gay guy."
"You're not gonna stop are ya?"
"Nope. Not until I get proof tellin my otherwise."
"Come on."
Dario got off the ground and helped Meridan to her feet.
"Is he gonna be at the same place as before?" asked Meridan.
"Yeah. Hopefully he's up by now."

Dario and Meridan had been searching for the sandslash for the past two hours. Meridan was starting to grow tiresome from the search and was beginning to drag her feet while Dario kept his normal pace.
"Dammit, where is this faggot?" complained Meridan.
"He's usually here," said Dario ignoring the gay comment, "It was only last time he wasn't in the area."
"Only last time? You've seen this guy more than once?"
"Well, he's been talking to me ever since I got those berries for you that night a couple of days ago."
"Ooooohhhhh. You've been seeing him huh?"
"Well, kinda."
"Kinda suspicious behavior from a guy who says he isn't gay."
"I only began to seek out and talk to him when you and the others started scheming for my birthday."
"Ah ha! You're having an affair with another male. You sick duck."
"Whatever, I'm not going through this with you again."
"Well since this sandslash fag is nowhere to be seen. Why don't go over Kelly and Jeran's and see what they are up too."
"Might as well."
The couple then changed course and headed towards the mountains. After almost an hour, they were about 150 yards from the mountain base.
"You know Kelly's really excited about being pregnant," said Meridan.
"I know," Dario replied, "You keep tellin me all the time. I don't know why the hell you keep tellin me, but you keep telling me all the time"
Meridan began to frown at Dario.
"I'm just saying that I never expected Kelly to be so enthusiastic about having kids."
"Well Meridan. We'll never know how someone will react until it happens."
"Well ... Jeran said that if I was pregnant and I told you, you'd piss yourself."
"Man, Jeran can go fuck himself."
"Sheesh. Why are you two so hostile towards each other?"
"I dunno. It's just one of those he don't like me, I don't like him situations."
"But, for no reason."
"Yeah, no reason."
"That's weird."
"Lots of things in this world are weird. Lots of things that happen in this world are weird. The only thing we can do is go with the flo-"
Suddenly, a large body fell from the trees above and landed in front of them giving off a "crunch" and "splatter" sound. Meridan fell backwards as blood shot from the body and covered the couple. Meridan began to scream at the stop of her lungs while Dario simply yelled the words "HOLY SHIT!" The golduck looked over the body that fell in front of him and froze in utter shock. It was the sandslash. A puddle of blood began to engulf the sandslash slowly as it flowed out of his body. The sandslash's left leg and arm were broken and bent. The bone in his right arm had ripped through its fur and stuck out in a pointing gesture. Some of the fur that the bone broke through was on the ground immersed in the blood, while the rest hung from the sandslash's shoulder blade, dripping blood as well. His skull was busted open. Blood seeped from his cranium and trickled down his face, in between and outside the wide-open dead eyes of the sandslash. Some of the spikes on its back were missing, revealing more of the tan and now red fur. But something in particular had caught Dario's eyes on the half-naked back of the sandslash. There were hoof groves imprinted in the back of the sandslash. Voices began to spread all throughout the golduck's head. All belonging to the sandslash.
"He grabbed Tara," the sandslash's voice echoed through Dario's skull, "And swung her around. He used that momentum to fling her out of the way. The moment he did this, he was swallowed by the stampeding tauros."
Dario looked back at the hoof prints in the sandslash's back.
"I used to be just like you," echoed the sandslash. At that moment, it all became clear to him. Baret wasn't no fuckin sneasel.


Jeran, Kelly, Trevor, and other mountain pokémon rushed to the scene. Kelly ran straight to Meridan while Jeran and the others surrounded the fallen sandslash's body.
"What happened!" shouted Jeran.
Dario heard the question but didn't answer. The sandslash's voice surged all throughout his mind. He began to remember the conversation that he and the sandslash had a couple of days ago.

"What?" Dario's voice asked, "What happened next?"
"In the end," responded the sandslash's voice, "Carol was right. Baret didn't have the balls to hit her. He just turned and ran away. Carol left the mountain the next day with Jacob. They were never seen again. Baret spent his miserable days in his cave. He never got in another relationship with a woman again. Soon, he walked out the cave and left the mountain too. He was never seen again as well. That was two years ago."
"That's it. That's all. Baret just disappeared. Just like that."
"Yep, just like that."

"He jumped off the mountain," Dario finally answered.
"What?" the perplexed manetric responded, "How do you know? How do you know he wasn't pushed off that mountain or fell off. How do you know this wasn't an accident?"
"Because I know who he is."

"Hey! Sandslash guy!" Dario voice called out, "You haven't even told me your name yet."
The sandslash stopped when Dario said this.
"That's for me to know ... and for you to find out," his voice echoed.
"How am I supposed to find out something like that? Why can't you just tell me?"
"Because Dario." The sandslash turned its head halfway, looking back to Dario. "Life is more fun when you find things out. You'll find out sooner than you think ... birthday boy."

"His name is Baret," said Dario.


"Wow," said Kelly, "His life was pretty fucked up."
Dario, Meridan, Kelly, Jeran, Trevor, and all the other pokémon that were at the incident were in Kelly and Jeran's cave. Meridan was still a little shook from the incident. Kelly was standing by her side trying to console her. Dario was sitting on the other side of Meridan. He had his hands joined together over his knees he looked deep in thought. Trevor and Jeran were standing with the rest of the pokémon within the cave. Dario had just relayed Baret's story in the same manner as the sandslash told him.
"I sorta remember the missing pokémon," a rhydon spoke out from the pokémon crowd, "The absol and typhlosion. After a few days, we set out a search party, but we found no trace of them. After awhile we gave up and concluded that they most likely left the area. I was kinda skeptical with this. I mean we picked up there scents on the mountain and in the forest. There was no indication stating that they left the area. It was like they ... vanished."
"I remember Baret," said a golem, "I didn't recognize him till you mentioned his name, Dario. My cave was next door to his. I think I remember the night that argument went down. It was kinda late when it happened though. I remember seeing Carol going up the mountain and Baret following her. I ignored the situation and went to sleep. I woke up later that evening and saw him enter his cave, drenched in water. But yeah he disappeared a few months after the absol and typhlosion."
Dario listened to the golem and froze in thought when he heard him say that Baret had come back drenched in water. He remembered the conversation that he and the sandslash had once again. The sandslash was standing in his home. But he didn't look like he was visiting. When he stared at the pond and the rest area he looked like he was going down memory lane. The rest of the pokémon in the cave started having conversations about the Baret mystery. Dario started to think more about last night and remembered that Baret had paused just before the ending of the story. Why did he pause, thought Dario, Usually when you tell a story you usually are able to go through it smoothly. Sure you pause every now and then to remember certain parts and all. But the pause Baret gave me was a long one. About over 10 seconds. It almost as if he made up how it ended. Dario then began to think more about the ending as well. Something doesn't fit, thought Dario, The way the story was going. The flow. The emotions. It just doesn't seem right. He was angry. He was angry with Carol. He was angry with Jacob. He was way above the level of anger atop of the mountain. And he just left. And if he left, why would come back wet. He's a ground pokémon. They avoid water almost at all costs. If he was soaking in water it had to be for a reason. A REAL good fucking reason. Then something clicked in Dario's head. The pond, thought Dario.

"He used to dig graves for pokémon families in the area," Baret's voice echoed through his head, "You know what? You weren't the first pokémon to happen upon this area."

Dario then stared at the golem. "Hey, you guys can dig."
"Yeah, why?" said the golem.
"Well, I got a fucking job for you."


The group were later seen in Dario and Meridan's home. The ground pokémon were digging holes all over the place. All the other pokémon were standing a few yards away while Dario and Meridan stood in the middle of the area.
"Why are you having these pokémon do this?" Meridan asked frantically.
"The ending isn't right, Meridan," said Dario.
"What?!"
"The ending. Baret didn't just walk away. You heard the rhydon. They smelled their scents all over the place. None showed any signs that they left the place."
"W-what are you trying to say."
"Pokémon don't just vanish in thin air. There are only two ways that the absol and typhlosion could have disappeared: 1. They teleported. This isn't possible. They would have to be psychics. There isn't one psychic pokémon living within this area. They would have to have left this place to get one. The closest pokémon to psychics here are me and Trevor and neither of us can teleport. This leaves only one option."
"What's that?"
"Six feet fucking deep."
"Dario ... are you talking murder?"
"Yes."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. He didn't leave those two up there on that mountain. That's total utter bullshit. He killed them there. Atop of that mountain. He then dragged them down here from the mountain and buried them. He then got rid of the blood on his body by jumping in this pond. He probably dug up his trail and then restored the soil to cover any scent or signs of blood after that."
"Dario, you're scaring me."
"Well well Dario."
Dario turned around and saw Jeran approaching him.
"As good as your little story sounds," said Jeran, "You still don't have any proof backing it up. Leaving this just like you said earlier. Total utter bullshit."
"You want some proof, dickface, I'll get you some proof," said Dario.
"Hey!"
Dario turned around and saw the golem approaching him.
"We've been digging for a while here, buddy," said the golem, "What the hell do you have us looking for."
"Hold on," said Dario. He began to scan the area and brought his eyes to a halt on the thick patch of grass that he and Meridan slept on. Baret was staring at that same exact spot, thought Baret. "Dig there."
"What?"
"Dig there, I'm sure of it."
"Man whatever. This is the last hole I'm digging. After this. me and my boys are gone."
The golem walked over to the heavily grassed spot and started digging. The rhydon from before, jumped out of his hole, walked over to the golem, and started helping him dig. After a few minutes, the golem and the rhydon were completely submerged in a hole. Clods of dirt were seen flying out of it. Suddenly the clods of dirt stopped. "Holy Shit!". These words came from the two pokémon within the hole. This got the pokémon outside the hole to start staring at each other. The clods of dirt started shooting out of the hole again. This time there coming out faster and harder. After a little while, dirt stopped coming out. The golem and the rhydon then got out of the hole.
"Um, Dario," said the golem, "Come here."
Dario came and so did the others. They all peered into the hole. Looks of disgust and horror was shared throughout the group as they gazed in the hole. Inside the hole were two decomposing bodies. The bodies were of an absol and a typhlosion. The skeletons of the bodies were clearly seen from the deteriorating fur. The absol's skeleton was decapitated. Its skull was located a few inches away from the body. The absol's ribs also seemed to be broken. The typhlosion's upper body was squeezed and the bones were compacted together. There was a large dent in the typhlosion's cranium. Dario stared at these bodies and zoned out. Baret's story began to play back in his head. The bogus ending was thrown out and the right ending began to enact it self in his mind.

"I don't love you anymore, Baret," said Carol, "I don't even think what I felt for you before was love. It was more like pity. Face it, Baret. The only thing someone as pathetic as yourself should be is by yourself."
Baret suddenly stopped shaking and slowly looked up at Carol. Baret's sneasel body was replaced with the sandslash's body. His eyes were filled with nothing but hate and anger.
"What are you gonna do, Baret. Hit me. You don't have the fucking balls."
Baret took his clawed paw and covered her face with it. Carol's eyes slowly began bulge, almost popping out of her sockets. The sound of liquid dripping and splashing on the ground filled the air. Baret had shoved his free paw straight through Carol's abdomen. Blood soon began to drizzle out of her stomach, all over Baret's arm and on the ground before him. Baret began to swirl his claws within Carol. Destroying her organs and anything else living inside of her. Blood soon began to flow out of her mouth and through Baret's other paw. Baret removed his paw from her face and grabbed the scythe on her head with it. He then pulled his other paw out of her and used crush claw on the absol's neck. The attack tore through the fur on Carol's neck and blood started spurting out. The move stopped halfway when it encountered her neck bone. Baret pulled back his claw and did crush claw once again, obliterating the bone hindering his goal, and fully decapitated Carol. Carol's body dropped the moment her head got disconnected. Baret dropped Carol's head and walked over to his "best friend". Jacob was recovering from the flurry of punches that Baret had earlier inflicted upon him. One of his eyes were sealed shut and he had a bloody nose. He saw Baret slowly approaching him and Carol's beheaded corpse behind him. The moment Baret had come face to face with Jacob.
Jacob pleaded, "Please don't kill me."
But Baret did not listen, he took action. He shoved his paw right through Jacob's stomach. His claw penetrated through Jacob's fur and exposed itself through Jacob's back. Jacob eyes widened as placed his paws around Baret's murderous arm. Baret then placed his foot on Jacob's chest and kicked him off his claw and straight off the mountain. Jacob began to descend rapidly down the mountain, with his blood droplets filling the air. He violently crashed through the tree canopy and landed headfirst into the ground. His skull gave a loud "crack" sound when it came in contact with the forest floor. His upper body squeezed downward on impact as well. His dead body fell down straight within a lake of his own blood.

Dario snapped back to reality to see the other pokémon gathered around, staring at the dead bodies. Dario then turned to Jeran and said, "Here's you proof, dickface."

Later that day, they took Carol and Jacob's dead bodies and buried them in the cemetery behind the mountain. They buried Baret's body there as well. Dario and Meridan were staying in Kelly and Jeran's cave, not wanting to sleep at their home/burial site. Dario was suffering from a slight case of insomnia after the Baret incident. He didn't sleep the night of the incident and he didn't sleep the night after. The day of his birthday however was different. He slept the morning part of the day and the afternoon part as well, as if to make up for the nights he didn't sleep. He had a dream during this time period. A very disturbing one. He awoken in the cave late at night to see Meridan walking outside. He got up and walked outside, curious to see what was up with her. He saw her slowly ascending the mountain and decided to follow. After a few minutes, Meridan reached the top with Dario not too far behind. At the mountaintop, a lucario was seen staring outwards at the mountain's edge. The lucario was Trevor. Meridan slowly walked towards the lucario. Dario stared at this scene with wide eyes as a slight sense of Déjà vu struck him. Oh no, thought Dario, Just like in the story. This can't be happening. He tried to move his body, but found himself to be under some paralysis. He tried to speak but soon found out his beak was in the same state as the rest of his body. He was forced to watch the scene before him.
"You're late," said Trevor as he turned around.
"Sorry," responded Meridan, "That feathered fucktard was taking forever to go to sleep.
She seductively walked towards the lucario. When she got close to him, she got on her tiptoes and kissed him.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Dario finally shouted, regaining control of his body. He stumbled onto the mountaintop staring at Meridan and Trevor.
"Oh ... it's you," said Meridan, "Well this makes the whole situation easier doesn't it."
"W-w-what do you mean?" stuttered Dario.
"Isn't it obvious, Dario. I'm breaking up with you."
"What?!"
"She doesn't love you loser," said Trevor, "She loves me. It's over."
"Why you," said Dario. He ran towards Trevor and threw a punch at him. But, was brought to dismay when Trevor easily blocked it and gave him a powerful knee in the stomach. Dario jammed his eyes shut in pain as he held his gut.
"Let me take care of this," said Meridan as she grabbed Dario by the spiky feathers atop his head. She began to drag him towards the mountain's edge. When she had Dario's back facing the edge she let go of his head and kicked him over the edge. She then screamed the words "Have a nice fall, bitch". Dario fell rapidly down the mountain, soon crashing through the trees and landing backfirst on the forest floor, immobilized. A body shrouded in darkness soon appeared over Dario's body. The moonlight shone over it, revealing the dark being to be Baret.
"I told you this would have happened," said the sandslash, "You should have killed them when you had the chance. But don't worry buddy. I'll take care of that for you." Baret gave Dario a sinister smile and flashed his claws at him. He then walked away and headed up the mountain.

Dario shot up from his bed of leaves, sweating profusely. It was nighttime judging by shrouding darkness within the cave. He looked towards the cave entrance and saw Meridan, walking outside the cave. Dario got up, walked over to the entrance, and peeked out. Meridan was seen, ascending the mountain briskly. He began to quiver at the sight. He reluctantly got out of the cave and slowly began to follow Meridan up the mountain. As they got closer to the mountaintop, voices were heard. Sounds of pokémon conversing reverberated through the air. It sounded as if there was a party going on up there. When they reached the mountaintop, Dario lost sight of Meridan through the pools of pokémon standing all throughout the area. There were torches lit all around the mountaintop to provide light. There were long rows of leaves placed on the ground with all types of foods lying atop them. Dario began to walk through the crowd, searching for Meridan, until he bumped into the golem from a few days ago.
"Hey Dario, what's up," said the golem.
"Y-Yeah, hey," responded Dario.
"I'll tell you right now, man. If you need anymore holes dug up. I'm ya man. That was some freaky shit we found the other day."
"Yeah, I'll think about it."
"You alright? You ain't lookin too good buddy."
"I'm okay. Um, I had came up here behind Meridan and lost her in the crowd. Do you know where she is?"
"Oh she's over there talking to that Trevor guy."
Dario looked in the direction the golem pointed out and saw Meridan and Trevor having a conversation. Meridan looked a little shaken. Trevor seemed to be trying to comfort her. He lifted his paws and placed them on Meridan's shoulder. Dario saw all of this in slow motion. The moment Trevor's paws touched Meridan's shoulder, emotions started to erupt in Dario's head.

"Dario hasn't been himself lately," Meridan told Trevor, "He always seemed spaced out. The tone in his voice changed from a light and warm voice to a deep and dreary one. He almost completely lost his sense of humor. And ever since that Baret incident, he's gotten even worse. He's really starting to worry me. Today is his birthday and he's been sleeping the whole day. I don't know what to do."
"Don't worry about it," said Trevor, "The Baret incident is just affecting him at the moment. He'll get over it soon and he'll be back before you know."
"You think so."
"I know so. Well ... at least from what you tell me about him he should."
"... Thanks. I needed that. I think I should go and try to wake him up again. Last time I woke him up, he just stared out the cave for five minutes then went straight back to sleep. This is his party. He should have been here a long time ago. The only reason this is happening is because the pokémon we invited got restless and threatened to leave if we didn't get it started. I wish they had waited a little bit longer. I wanted it to be a surprise."
"Well what could you do. You wanted it to be a major celebration for Dario. If they left, it would have destroyed everything we planned for. You did the right thing. We'll just have to settle for it. Wait. You tell him about the secret yet."
"No, he doesn't know. The moment I go and get him, I'll tell him. I can't hold it back any longer. He'll eventually find out himself if I don't tell him."
"That's good to hear. The sooner the better. He's probably gonn-"
Trevor's statement was cutoff from the sudden and unexpected impact of Dario's fist. He staggered backwards a little holding his cheekbone. Dario stood in front of Meridan with his fists clenched, fuming. All conversations ended the moment this happened and all eyes fell on the three.
"Dario!" exclaimed Meridan, "What the hell are you doing?!"
"What the hell does it look like Meridan," answered Dario, "You think I don't know about you and him. 'I just don't know how to tell him?' Well you don't gotta worry about tellin me anymore, cuz I know."
"Dario, you don't know what you're talkin about."
"Oh really. I think I do and it's quite clear that it is what it is. You tryin to dump me for this lucario muthafucka."
"Dario."
"On my fucking birthday too."
"Dario."
"What happened to us, Meridan? I thought you loved me. I loved you. I guess it doesn't matter to you anymore."
"DARIO, TREVOR IS FUCKIN GAY!"
"...Wh-whaaaa?"
"He's gay," Jeran spoke up, "As in man with man. You like girls, he like boys."
"I-is that true?" a perplexed Dario asked Trevor.
"Yes, I'm gay," answered Trevor.
"Well then ..., what was the secret?"
"Dario," said Meridan.
Dario swiftly turned around to face his mate. Meridan had her paws cupped together. Her face had a nervous and slightly unsure expression on it.
"Dario," said Meridan, "I'm pregnant with your kids."
Silence spread across the area as Meridan delayed the news. A light stream of piss began to flow down Dario's leg. Whispers began to spread throughout the crowd. "Did he just piss himself." "I think he just pissed himself." "I can't believe he pissed himself." "What a pussy."
"I told y'all he'd piss himself," Jeran reinstated. He then turned and faced the crowd, "Alright people, nothing to see here."
The crowd of pokémon slowly dispersed and went back to whatever they were doing before. Meridan walked towards the mountain's edge and sat down. Dario finally snapped out of his trance. Trevor and Jeran was in front of him.
"You're lucky that Trevor's a nice guy, because if you punched me I woulda knocked your ass the fuck out. Shoot the only thing that's saving you from getting your ass kicked by Trevor is because you're Meridan's boyfriend."
"I'm ... sorry about punching you in the face, Trevor," apologized Dario.
"No problem. You punch like a bitch anyway," responded Trevor, "But I'm not the one you should apologize too." Trevor began to point towards Meridan.
"Oh ... I guess I fucked up, huh."
"It wasn't that bad," said Jeran, "You didn't look like that much of a dickhead."
"Thank you for your oh so calming statements, Jeran. They always helped me."
"Look, forget about me right now. You need to be focused on Meri."
"Dario slowly nodded his head. Jeran walked over to his mate while Trevor left and joined a conversation with another group of pokémon. Dario slowly walked towards his mate and sat down.

"I'm ... sorry for what happened back there," said Dario.
"No," replied Meridan, "You don't have to be. It's not really your fault. I guess I was acting a little suspicious. If I were you, I would probably wanna know what the hell is going on. But truly, I was scared to tell you that I was pregnant. I didn't think you'd take it too well. You'd break down at the mere mention of the word pregnant and the possibility."
"How long have you been?"
"A couple of days after Kelly told me she was pregnant."
"That long, huh."
"I wanted to tell you sooner, but I just didn't know how to tell you."
Dario started to stare off at the forest canopy at the base of the mountain.
"You're not disappointed are you?" asked Meridan.
"No," answered Dario, "It's just that ... I didn't expect something like this. You being pregnant. In a few months from now, you're gonna give birth to kids. Not to say that I don't want any kids but ... I'm not sure I'm ready to be a father. I don't even know how to be one."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I never knew my father in the first place, remember. He left my mother the moment she broke the news to him that she was pregnant with me. All I know is I don't wanna follow through the footsteps of my dad. Because I hate him so bad. The worst fear that I ever had was to grow up to be like his fuckin ass. I want to be a good father."
"And as long as you want to be then you will be, Dario."
Dario raised his looked back into the bright green eyes of his mate.
"I wasn't too sure about this kid shit either. But when I started talking to Kelly about it. My thoughts about it changed. Kelly is so happy about it. Whenever I talked to her, she always was joyous. Especially whenever we mentioned the babies that were developing in her stomach. She made it sound as if it was the best thing to ever happen to her in her life. She's was more than prepared to have kids. Hearing her kinda encouraged me. Jeran wasn't too thrilled about her being pregnant at first. But soon after, Kelly made him see the bright side as well. Now he isn't even bothered by it anymore."
Meridan got closer to Dario and wrapped her arms around his body. She then, laid her head on his chest.
"We'll get through it, baby. As long as we believe we can," said Meridan.
"Yeah," responded Dario, "I guess we will."


A few weeks later, Meridan's stomach was an even bigger bulge than it was before. Dario and Meridan had moved into the same mountain that Kelly and Jeran were (not wanting to return to their previous home). The ground pokémon helped to make a cave for them. It was a couple of meters over the mountain base, but it was not located too far from the bottom. They were a bit more positive about the future and their soon to be newborn kids in a few months. They are already preparing for the babies alongside Kelly and Jeran. It was bright and sunny afternoon and Dario and Meridan were at the cemetery behind the mountain. They had both went for a walk earlier on and decided to head back home through the cemetery's path.

"Woooo!" exclaimed an exhausted Meridan, "My belly is seriously starting weigh me down. I've never been so tired like this."
"It makes me wonder just how many we are going to have?" pondered Dario.
"I say 4."
"I hope no more than 2."
"Whhhhhhyyyyyyy?"
"I don't think we can handle all them badass kids."
"Oh please. Our kids will be polite and respectful."
"Usually, a child's behavior somewhat reflects off of what their parents were when they were kids. I was one ignorant little bastard. And I sure as hell know you weren't Arceus's angel when you were a little girl."
"Hey! I'll let you know I was one of the most obedient, nice, cute, loving little girls you ever saw."
"You threw your neighbor in a beedrill hive for bumping into you when you were ten."
"He had it coming. That Mr. Mime was a pervert. Always flicking hand signals at me."
"He flicked hand signals cuz he's a mime! Face it. Only one of the things you said was totally true."
"And what was that?"
"You were a little girl."
"Why I oughta."
Meridan cocked back her fist and punched Dario in the belly, Dario bent forward as he held his stomach.
"Yep," groaned Dario, "If we have a daughter she's gonna be very aggressive."
"Ya want another one buster?" asked Meridan.
"Naw I'm good."
They started to walk again and slowed down when they reached Baret's grave. There was a large stone with his name imprinted on it before the spot where he was buried. There weren't any flowers over the plot and there definitely weren't gonna be any soon. They stared at the grave for a while until Meridan tugged on Dario arm.
"Let's go," said Meridan, "We have no reason to be here." She began walking along the path again. Dario began to go after her when he heard a familiar voice say, "She'll leave you." The voice was coming from Baret's grave. Dario drew his attention towards Baret's final resting place. A ghostly apparition of Baret, only visible to Dario's eyes, began to rise from the ground before him.
"She'll leave you," repeated Baret's ghost, "She'll desert you when you least expect it."
"No ... Baret," responded Dario, "She won't. Because now I know for sure. She was telling the truth when she said she loved me. I'm sorry about what happened to you. It was really fucked up. But I assure you my friend. It won't happen to me."
"Dario!"
Dario turned around to see his mate impatiently tapping her foot. He turned back around to see that Baret's ghost had disappeared. He then looked down at Baret's tombstone and said, "Well Baret. The soon to be mother of my children is calling."
Dario slowly turned around and walked towards Meridan. They began to leave the cemetery with Dario saying one last thing.
"See ya, sure as hell wouldn't wanna be ya."