Matt and his quilava Kali have just began their journey through Johto. But everything isn't always as it seems. For some, it's a journey of a lifetime. For others, it's a second chance.
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Chapter 1 (3963 words)
[Reviews: 1]
- Comments (1)
- Reviews (1)
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¯\_ ᶘゝᴥ ∂ᶅ_/¯
There are some run ons here and there with you squeezing detail or imagery. Also, in battle seens had some out of place information which lost me what was going on. Try not to mix action and story or explanation, stay focus on the action. A personal website I enjoy using to review my work now is http://www.hemingwayapp.com/. Which will give you a helpful overview of your work. You did well and I can tell you could add onto this story.
Date:Jun 27 2021 Title:Chapter 1
Quality. Only thing that hitched me up was that a trip to goldenrod by vehicle is a couple hours but a few days walk? Seems like some time dialation going on there. Otherwise, great, well worded, very descriptive. I enjoyed.