Failed Escape
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. Pokemon was created by Satoshi Tajiri and is the legal property of Nintendo. All characters are copyright of the author. Please do not claim this story, or any of the chapters comprising it, as your own. Please feel free to email the author questions, comments, and/or criticisms or simply post a review.
~~~***~~~
"Kinpa! Kinpa, where are you?!"
The sound of that voice stole my breath away, and I curled my knees closer to me. The wet air was bitterly cold, and even though my winter fur was somewhat thick, the wind bit right through it. With yellow eyes glistening, I peered out from my hiding spot underneath a jagged overhanging boulder, looking for the owner of the voice. What I saw, instead, were the first raindrops as they fell from the ragged sky. That very sky opened up in a massive deluge, drenching everything in a matter of seconds, and I shivered as its misty spray covered me in small cold droplets.
But despite all of that, I tried to smile. I tried to convince myself that the rain would cover my scent and eventually I could escape. The alternative was too unpleasant for me to even think about. But even now, I couldn't force my cheeks to tense and my lips to rise. My ears didn't even perk up. All I could feel was that parasitic fear running through my veins, stealing what little strength I had. It was as if some unseen thing was glaring at me, paralyzing my body. I tugged weakly at the collar that clamped around my neck. Was there no way to get it off?
A bright flash blinded me, and I immediately tensed and covered my ears. Sure enough, a massive rumble sounded, loud enough to cause the firm boulder above me to vibrate. I squeezed my eyes closed as I grabbed on to my ears. The rumble seemed to last for minutes before it finally settled down, and the steady pitter-patter of the raindrops filled my hearing again. My stomach tightened. Had I screamed during the thunder? I couldn't remember.
I looked around me. The small cove that I'd imbedded myself in glowed dimly in a blue light, and I sighed. My own light could give me away. I looked at myself and wished that, for once, I had human clothes. The rings that covered my body were glowing blue, and there was no way I could cover them all. I glanced outside to see the dark trees surrounding my hiding spot. Though my light was low, anyone could tell during this dark night. I could only hope that none were in a position to. I couldn't go back.
A sudden very close howl caused me to yelp, and I quickly covered my mouth. But the damage had already been done, and my stomach tightened again. Had I given myself away? I closed my eyes and tried to listen, but sound of rain flooded my senses. I couldn't smell or hear, and my eyesight was already weak for seeing distances. I began to think. Flee or stay? Which could I afford to do?
"Kinpa, I know you're nearby! Please come to me! I don't want to hurt you! Kinpa!"
The voice was too close. I couldn't afford to stay. I had to run. Breathing quickly, I steeled myself and crawled towards the very edge of the cove. The falling water was so cold that it felt painful, but I couldn't wait anymore. I took a deep breath and dashed forward.
I gasped at the sudden coldness that enveloped me as the rain sank into my fur. I felt so heavy as my paws ran along the cold wet ground. I could only imagine how my fur looked, dripping with water. But I tried not to let my mind wander as I ran, weaving through trees and ducking under branches. I tried to pull every trick instinct gave me. If only I could climb trees.
A loud howl signaled my pursuit, and I cringed as I felt something tug at me. I gradually ran slower, but I pushed myself forward. I couldn't afford to stop now. Not with freedom so close. Just a little bit more, and I could have the right to do what I wanted with my own life. Just a bit more.
I never saw the root before my paw snagged it, and yelping loudly I went into a tumble down a shallow hill. I should've been able to run, but I suddenly felt so exhausted and weak. My white fur was soiled with mud and leaves, and I nearly felt content to just lay there and watch the water flow through the small crevices in the ground. But I couldn't afford to rest now.
I tried to stand and could barely pick myself up, but even as I did, my hearing picked up the sound of another's breath. Without looking, I already knew who it was. "Please, Hanya... let me go..." I whined softly, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes only to mix with the falling rain.
"Kinpa, I cannot. My duty lies with them, and yours does too. You cannot continue to run. You will find no answers out there."
"Please, Hanya. Please let me go..."
"Kinpa, look at me."
I obeyed without question, but with much hesitation. I slowly turned, and it took a great deal of effort to raise my head. Before me stood someone who had experienced a great deal more than I could ever hope to. The humans called him a Guraena-Anthro, but to me he was simply Hanya. Even in the dark, I could make out his grey and black fur, and more importantly, his disappointed yellow and red eyes. I sighed and looked back down. "I... I don't wanna go back."
"I know, Kinpa."
"Please don't make me go back there."
"We must go."
"You don't like it either."
"I know."
"Then why?"
"I have a duty to fulfill."
"What about me?"
"I have a duty to you, too. You have a duty you must also fulfill."
I winced, trying my best to ignore the pounding rain. "I don't want that duty. I don't want to do it."
"You must, Kinpa." A heavy sigh floated over the sound of the rain.
"I... I'll fight you...."
"If you win, then my duty to you is finished, and I would have failed my own duty. I would give it my all."
"Please, Hanya... let me go...."
"I cannot."
My shoulders started to heave, and I felt myself sobbing. The tears that streamed from my eyes dripped like the rain, and I felt myself falling to my knees. I hated fighting, and there was no way I could ever break away. I knew that already. This entire thing was foolish. I only brought myself more pain. My vision started to fade, and the last thing I could sense was the falling rain and a gentle hand resting on my shoulder.
~~~~****~~~~
I felt warm arms embrace me as consciousness slowly returned. My eyes parted to see me lying on Hanya's chest. I could hear his slow and steady breath as well as the gentle thump of his heartbeat. Nothing but total warmth and security radiated from him, and I found my eyes closing again. I rested my head on his chest, my ears flicking out. I was safe as long as he was around.
"Kinpa..."
My eyes opened suddenly, and I looked up at the awakened Guraena. Cold spikes stabbed at my back and I shivered, but only slightly as I felt his strong hands rub the small of my back and cup my haunches. My tail wagged slightly. "I... I'm sorry, Hanya..." I said, my eyes glistening.
"Don't cry, Kinpa. You'll never grow stronger if you cry."
"But, Hanya...."
He shook his head. "No, don't say anything. I did not want to do what I did. I used my power against you, and I want to ask for your forgiveness. I understand what you wanted, what you were seeking. But I can tell you from experience that, because of what you are, all you will know is pain."
I laid my head on Hanya's chest, trying my best not to begin to sob. "I... I know, Hanya, but...."
"I'm sorry, Kinpa. I care for you too much to let you make the same mistakes I did. The outside world is not pristine. It is a cold cruel place that harms ones like us far more than this place. When I was young, I too thought that I could find the answers out there. But let me share my experience. The answers lie here, in doing what you were created to do."
"But, Hanya, I don't wantâ�""
"Kinpa, no."
I fell silent and continued to rest. My body still felt weak from the pursuit that had been used against me. I could feel his hands rubbing my dry fur, and I sighed as I nuzzled against him. A thought wandered into my head. "Hanya?"
"Yes?"
"Why did they send you after me?"
"They thought it would be most effective, I assume."
"...Did you protest?"
"I was remorseful, but I did what was needed of me."
"Would you... have hurt me?"
"If you resisted, I would have had no choice."
"...Would... you have killed me?"
The Guraena fell silent and rested his hand on my head. He rubbed it briefly before licking my forehead. "Kinpa, why does it matter? You're not dead, and I did not have to do something that I could never forgive myself for. Why do you ask these questions?"
It was my turn to be silent, and for the longest time I wished that I could just lay there forever with him licking me. "I... because... I don't know. Because they're there, I guess...."
"You shouldn't ask questions if you know that the answer would make you even more miserable. Would you truly like the answer to the question? Would knowing the horrible truth make you feel better?"
"I..."
"Some things are better left unanswered. Because of that, I will not answer your question. I, myself, don't even know the answer to it. I would rather not know the answer, either."
I sighed and pulled myself against him. "Hanya?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry..."
"It's quite alright, Kinpa."
"I don't want to get hurt."
"It's inevitable, I'm afraid. I could not stop them even if they killed you."
I closed my eyes and winced. "I... I know... I'm sorry, Hanya."
"It's alright, Kinpa. I know what you're feeling. I will do all I can to protect you from harm, as long as you will do what you need to do. Even if that's nothing at all."
"Nothing at all?"
"We must all do things that we don't like, even if that's simply standing by and watching. I can only pray that, before my eventual demise, you will take my lessons to heart and let them lead you on and guide your life. Not everyone can be happy all the time, so we must take comfort in the little things."
"Am I a little thing?"
"You're my only thing."
"So, ifâ�""
"Kinpa."
"Huh?"
"If you had a chance to obtain true happiness, and I was not ordered to stop it, I would gladly see you take the opportunity."
"But, you said..."
"True happiness exists, but not for us. Not for me, at least. I can only take responsibility for the happiness of others, and through them I achieve my own. If you were to get hurt, I could never forgive myself."
"Hanya..." I wrapped my arms around the Guraena and snuggled close to him. His heart was beating faster, almost as fast as mine. My tail wagged violently, and as I found myself falling asleep, in the corner of my eye, I thought I saw his wagging, too.
~~~***~~~
"Kinpa! Kinpa, where are you?!"
The sound of that voice stole my breath away, and I curled my knees closer to me. The wet air was bitterly cold, and even though my winter fur was somewhat thick, the wind bit right through it. With yellow eyes glistening, I peered out from my hiding spot underneath a jagged overhanging boulder, looking for the owner of the voice. What I saw, instead, were the first raindrops as they fell from the ragged sky. That very sky opened up in a massive deluge, drenching everything in a matter of seconds, and I shivered as its misty spray covered me in small cold droplets.
But despite all of that, I tried to smile. I tried to convince myself that the rain would cover my scent and eventually I could escape. The alternative was too unpleasant for me to even think about. But even now, I couldn't force my cheeks to tense and my lips to rise. My ears didn't even perk up. All I could feel was that parasitic fear running through my veins, stealing what little strength I had. It was as if some unseen thing was glaring at me, paralyzing my body. I tugged weakly at the collar that clamped around my neck. Was there no way to get it off?
A bright flash blinded me, and I immediately tensed and covered my ears. Sure enough, a massive rumble sounded, loud enough to cause the firm boulder above me to vibrate. I squeezed my eyes closed as I grabbed on to my ears. The rumble seemed to last for minutes before it finally settled down, and the steady pitter-patter of the raindrops filled my hearing again. My stomach tightened. Had I screamed during the thunder? I couldn't remember.
I looked around me. The small cove that I'd imbedded myself in glowed dimly in a blue light, and I sighed. My own light could give me away. I looked at myself and wished that, for once, I had human clothes. The rings that covered my body were glowing blue, and there was no way I could cover them all. I glanced outside to see the dark trees surrounding my hiding spot. Though my light was low, anyone could tell during this dark night. I could only hope that none were in a position to. I couldn't go back.
A sudden very close howl caused me to yelp, and I quickly covered my mouth. But the damage had already been done, and my stomach tightened again. Had I given myself away? I closed my eyes and tried to listen, but sound of rain flooded my senses. I couldn't smell or hear, and my eyesight was already weak for seeing distances. I began to think. Flee or stay? Which could I afford to do?
"Kinpa, I know you're nearby! Please come to me! I don't want to hurt you! Kinpa!"
The voice was too close. I couldn't afford to stay. I had to run. Breathing quickly, I steeled myself and crawled towards the very edge of the cove. The falling water was so cold that it felt painful, but I couldn't wait anymore. I took a deep breath and dashed forward.
I gasped at the sudden coldness that enveloped me as the rain sank into my fur. I felt so heavy as my paws ran along the cold wet ground. I could only imagine how my fur looked, dripping with water. But I tried not to let my mind wander as I ran, weaving through trees and ducking under branches. I tried to pull every trick instinct gave me. If only I could climb trees.
A loud howl signaled my pursuit, and I cringed as I felt something tug at me. I gradually ran slower, but I pushed myself forward. I couldn't afford to stop now. Not with freedom so close. Just a little bit more, and I could have the right to do what I wanted with my own life. Just a bit more.
I never saw the root before my paw snagged it, and yelping loudly I went into a tumble down a shallow hill. I should've been able to run, but I suddenly felt so exhausted and weak. My white fur was soiled with mud and leaves, and I nearly felt content to just lay there and watch the water flow through the small crevices in the ground. But I couldn't afford to rest now.
I tried to stand and could barely pick myself up, but even as I did, my hearing picked up the sound of another's breath. Without looking, I already knew who it was. "Please, Hanya... let me go..." I whined softly, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes only to mix with the falling rain.
"Kinpa, I cannot. My duty lies with them, and yours does too. You cannot continue to run. You will find no answers out there."
"Please, Hanya. Please let me go..."
"Kinpa, look at me."
I obeyed without question, but with much hesitation. I slowly turned, and it took a great deal of effort to raise my head. Before me stood someone who had experienced a great deal more than I could ever hope to. The humans called him a Guraena-Anthro, but to me he was simply Hanya. Even in the dark, I could make out his grey and black fur, and more importantly, his disappointed yellow and red eyes. I sighed and looked back down. "I... I don't wanna go back."
"I know, Kinpa."
"Please don't make me go back there."
"We must go."
"You don't like it either."
"I know."
"Then why?"
"I have a duty to fulfill."
"What about me?"
"I have a duty to you, too. You have a duty you must also fulfill."
I winced, trying my best to ignore the pounding rain. "I don't want that duty. I don't want to do it."
"You must, Kinpa." A heavy sigh floated over the sound of the rain.
"I... I'll fight you...."
"If you win, then my duty to you is finished, and I would have failed my own duty. I would give it my all."
"Please, Hanya... let me go...."
"I cannot."
My shoulders started to heave, and I felt myself sobbing. The tears that streamed from my eyes dripped like the rain, and I felt myself falling to my knees. I hated fighting, and there was no way I could ever break away. I knew that already. This entire thing was foolish. I only brought myself more pain. My vision started to fade, and the last thing I could sense was the falling rain and a gentle hand resting on my shoulder.
~~~~****~~~~
I felt warm arms embrace me as consciousness slowly returned. My eyes parted to see me lying on Hanya's chest. I could hear his slow and steady breath as well as the gentle thump of his heartbeat. Nothing but total warmth and security radiated from him, and I found my eyes closing again. I rested my head on his chest, my ears flicking out. I was safe as long as he was around.
"Kinpa..."
My eyes opened suddenly, and I looked up at the awakened Guraena. Cold spikes stabbed at my back and I shivered, but only slightly as I felt his strong hands rub the small of my back and cup my haunches. My tail wagged slightly. "I... I'm sorry, Hanya..." I said, my eyes glistening.
"Don't cry, Kinpa. You'll never grow stronger if you cry."
"But, Hanya...."
He shook his head. "No, don't say anything. I did not want to do what I did. I used my power against you, and I want to ask for your forgiveness. I understand what you wanted, what you were seeking. But I can tell you from experience that, because of what you are, all you will know is pain."
I laid my head on Hanya's chest, trying my best not to begin to sob. "I... I know, Hanya, but...."
"I'm sorry, Kinpa. I care for you too much to let you make the same mistakes I did. The outside world is not pristine. It is a cold cruel place that harms ones like us far more than this place. When I was young, I too thought that I could find the answers out there. But let me share my experience. The answers lie here, in doing what you were created to do."
"But, Hanya, I don't wantâ�""
"Kinpa, no."
I fell silent and continued to rest. My body still felt weak from the pursuit that had been used against me. I could feel his hands rubbing my dry fur, and I sighed as I nuzzled against him. A thought wandered into my head. "Hanya?"
"Yes?"
"Why did they send you after me?"
"They thought it would be most effective, I assume."
"...Did you protest?"
"I was remorseful, but I did what was needed of me."
"Would you... have hurt me?"
"If you resisted, I would have had no choice."
"...Would... you have killed me?"
The Guraena fell silent and rested his hand on my head. He rubbed it briefly before licking my forehead. "Kinpa, why does it matter? You're not dead, and I did not have to do something that I could never forgive myself for. Why do you ask these questions?"
It was my turn to be silent, and for the longest time I wished that I could just lay there forever with him licking me. "I... because... I don't know. Because they're there, I guess...."
"You shouldn't ask questions if you know that the answer would make you even more miserable. Would you truly like the answer to the question? Would knowing the horrible truth make you feel better?"
"I..."
"Some things are better left unanswered. Because of that, I will not answer your question. I, myself, don't even know the answer to it. I would rather not know the answer, either."
I sighed and pulled myself against him. "Hanya?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry..."
"It's quite alright, Kinpa."
"I don't want to get hurt."
"It's inevitable, I'm afraid. I could not stop them even if they killed you."
I closed my eyes and winced. "I... I know... I'm sorry, Hanya."
"It's alright, Kinpa. I know what you're feeling. I will do all I can to protect you from harm, as long as you will do what you need to do. Even if that's nothing at all."
"Nothing at all?"
"We must all do things that we don't like, even if that's simply standing by and watching. I can only pray that, before my eventual demise, you will take my lessons to heart and let them lead you on and guide your life. Not everyone can be happy all the time, so we must take comfort in the little things."
"Am I a little thing?"
"You're my only thing."
"So, ifâ�""
"Kinpa."
"Huh?"
"If you had a chance to obtain true happiness, and I was not ordered to stop it, I would gladly see you take the opportunity."
"But, you said..."
"True happiness exists, but not for us. Not for me, at least. I can only take responsibility for the happiness of others, and through them I achieve my own. If you were to get hurt, I could never forgive myself."
"Hanya..." I wrapped my arms around the Guraena and snuggled close to him. His heart was beating faster, almost as fast as mine. My tail wagged violently, and as I found myself falling asleep, in the corner of my eye, I thought I saw his wagging, too.