Introduction
I sat down with my baby daughter in our beat up apartment. Everything there was so filthy ever since my wife passed away. Every night I would sing to my daughter to make her feel better. Her fragile mind was dramatically exposed to the cruel world. "Serenity, I know you miss your mom, and I know you miss your daddy when he's at work, but I'm trying to give you the life and possessions I never had. Please don't be sad, even when you smile and laugh I see depression in your eyes, I just want you to be happy, but today is over, so rest your head and go to sleep, sleep peacefully into a happy place far away from here..." I said to my daughter. It was always so hard to do that, even though it made her happy. I knew it was my fault we live in an apartment, and I knew it is my fault my wife died.
Most of the time I would sit up crying because I felt like a damn bum. I barely had money, the only things good in this world is my daughter and my Umbreon, Umex, pronounced- Umei.
I would ask myself, "If I had a second chance to stay in school, would I do it?" I was just so lazy, now I'm living in an apartment I can't even afford.
Once Serenity fell asleep, I put her in her little crib and silently walked out. When I closed the door, Umex rubbed her back against my leg, indicating she was hungry, "All right" I whispered as I walked into the kitchen. When I opened the cupboard I turned around, Umex was staring at me, tongue out, waiting for food.
I took out a box and began to poor food into a plastic red container. Once the first drop came in, Umex ate it and the rest poured over her head. She shook her head and resumed eating. I yawned and sat down on my wooden stool. I heard a small snap, I instantly jumped up, "Aw crap, looks like my stool expired, if that even makes any sense" I said to myself. Umex looked up and me for an istant then continued eating once more, "I've really got to stop talking to myself" I said aloud, I wasn't used to talking alone, because I have voices in my head that talk to me, most of the time they drive me to the brink of insanity.
Yes, I was diagnosed with brain damage when I began to smoke weed when I was 14. Apparenly my mind was affected and now I hear voices that tell me what to do, kind of like a doppleganger.
Another thing about me, I compete in battles, human battles. Kind of like boxing but whoever is the victor wins money, one of the only ways I get by in life. Having the sense knocked out of me can really affect what's going on in my brain, I'm afraid one day I'll just loose it unexpectantly. There was a loud knock at my door, Umex jumped up in excitement. I walked over to the door and put on my black hoody. I unlocked the locks that held the door from opening. There stood Steven, "Hey man, where have you been? You are late!" yelled Steven, "Dude, shut the fuck up! Serenity is asleep" I whispered angrily, "Oh, my bad" said Steven, "Let's go" I said as I pulled out my key from my pocket. Umex tried to come with us, but the door closed before she could get out, "Sorry, not tonight" I whispered. I heard her scratch at the door as I locked it.
The outside air was freezing, I put on my hood and lowered my head when we came across some guys, "Hey white boy" said a guy, "Don't listen to these racists man, you're gonna mop the floor with your opponent" said Steven, "Don't run out of the arena this time" said another guy. They all laughed. I flashed them a menacing look before I walked into the building.
"Get ready man, I think you are next after the occuring fight is over" said Steven, "All right" I said going into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. My hands were acting as my supporters because I couldn't stand all of a sudden. I looked up at myself, "Failure..." chanted the voices in my mind, "You are a pitiful failure!" said the voices, chanting louder. It was like the voices go with what I am doing, they say things that are appropriate for the moment, but also unexpectingly. I formed my hands to make a bowl when I turned the water on. I splashed it on my face, "Hey James, you up" said Steven, "Okay, hold on" I said wiping my face off.
"Hey everyone, we 'bout to get the fight started, Imperial(Me)versus Soldier of Chaos!"(My opponent)
The door opened, a bright light shined on me and I walked forward, the crowd booed and hissed at me. I still had my hood on even though I was about to get in a fight, but it did not bother me. Then Soldier of Chaos walked out in a military outfit, "Yes sir!" he yelled trying to be professional, "Pussy" I said to myself. A referee walked upon the center of the Arena, my opponent and I both did the same, "Now I want no one getting killed here, no weapons what-so-ever, okay, start the match!" said the referee. The crowd cheered. There was a strong scent of marijuana in the air. I looked around, everyone seemed to only be cheering on my opponent. When I looked back, my opponent seemed to be throwing a punch.
I bent my back to dodge it, hurting it in the process, "Oh!" groaned everyone in the crowd as I fell down, "Stupid move, dumb-ass" said my opponent. He attempted to kick me into the dirt, but I rolled away before he had a chance. I got up slowly, just incase I may have really hurt my back. My opponent charged for me and faked me out with a stomach to face punch. I stumbled back and hit the wall. He grabbed my long hair and began to pound my head agains the wall until we both heard a crack. I yelled and hit the floor, apparenly a piece of wood snapped when he was ramming my head into it.
"Look at this white boy pussy" said my opponent, "Ooh" said the crowd, I got up, pissed off at the formal racism of this place, "Now you listen here, there is no reason for you to be--" before I had a damn chance to finish what I was saying, he kicked me in the nuts, "Low blow!" yelled the referee. There was no penalty, apparently he just felt like blurting it out, "Get up cracker" said my opponent. I rose. I threw a punch when he wasn't looking, hit him in the back of the head, followed up with a kick to the spine. He hit the ground, grabbing his back, "God damn it! Fucking racists" I yelled. He then rose, "I didn't wanna use this cracker, you made me" he yelled as he pulled out a desert eagle. He pointed up and fired twice, "You guys going to cheer this guy on?" he yelled. Everyone was silent. I was struck with fear, I backed up to the wall, my hands up, "Now, who votes I blow this fucker's head off!?" he yelled. No one did anything, they froze, "WELL!?" he yelled as he fired 2 more bullets, "Go, go, go" they chanted unsurely, "Good choice" he said as he pointed the gun at me. I saw his finger pulling down at the trigger, my heart began to beat rapidly, and my voices were screaming at the top of their lungs, I couldn't hear anything except the screaming.
Suddenly, a dark figure jumped in and tackled the guy, he fired twice as he fell. Whatever the being was, it began to rip up the guys clothes. I took this as a chance, I charged him and tackled him as well. Now the people saw this as THEIR time to run. I grabbed the guy's arm that had the gun and twisted it. The guy began to scream, then there was a loud pop. He dropped the gun and grabbed his arm. He yelled in horrible pain, saliva dripping from his mouth. When I looked over at the being who tackled him, it was Umex, "Oh my God" I said to myself, "Aw, good girl!" I thanked Umex, I held her up and hugged her, "You are the best" I said, "Are you alright?" asked the referee, "Yeah, I'm fine, "Call a medic for this guy" he said, "You can leave now sir, that's enough for tonight" he said to me, "Okay" I replied.
"Hey man, you alright?" asked Steven as we walked outside, "I was pretty fucking worried about that maniac, pulling out his gun" I said, still had Umex in my arms, "You are lucky your little Umbreon saved you life, but how did he get out?" asked Steven, "Holy shit, I don't know, must be pretty damn smart" I said, "Yeah, smarty" I said cuddling my Umbreon, "You treat that pokemon like it was your second child" said Steven, "Uh-huh" I said not paying attention.
I took out my keys and unlocked my door, "See ya later" said Steven, "Bye" I said opening the door and letting Umex in. I locked the door silently and checked up on Serenity, "Good, still asleep in her bed" I said to myself.
I walked up to my table and sat down on the rickety chair.
I picked up the bottle of beer I always leave there. I drink it then I put my head down against the table. I think about how much I miss my wife, everytime I think about her I begin to cry, and that's what I was doing. I cried there and Umex jumped on the trying to comfort me.
"This is what I am sentenced too, risking my life every day for a worthless check"
Everyone who sees me on the streets call out "M.E.N.T.A.L."
That is what I am, that is my code, "My Ecstasy Nearly Takes Another Life"
By James Williams,
MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN DIFFERENT TERMS
Most of the time I would sit up crying because I felt like a damn bum. I barely had money, the only things good in this world is my daughter and my Umbreon, Umex, pronounced- Umei.
I would ask myself, "If I had a second chance to stay in school, would I do it?" I was just so lazy, now I'm living in an apartment I can't even afford.
Once Serenity fell asleep, I put her in her little crib and silently walked out. When I closed the door, Umex rubbed her back against my leg, indicating she was hungry, "All right" I whispered as I walked into the kitchen. When I opened the cupboard I turned around, Umex was staring at me, tongue out, waiting for food.
I took out a box and began to poor food into a plastic red container. Once the first drop came in, Umex ate it and the rest poured over her head. She shook her head and resumed eating. I yawned and sat down on my wooden stool. I heard a small snap, I instantly jumped up, "Aw crap, looks like my stool expired, if that even makes any sense" I said to myself. Umex looked up and me for an istant then continued eating once more, "I've really got to stop talking to myself" I said aloud, I wasn't used to talking alone, because I have voices in my head that talk to me, most of the time they drive me to the brink of insanity.
Yes, I was diagnosed with brain damage when I began to smoke weed when I was 14. Apparenly my mind was affected and now I hear voices that tell me what to do, kind of like a doppleganger.
Another thing about me, I compete in battles, human battles. Kind of like boxing but whoever is the victor wins money, one of the only ways I get by in life. Having the sense knocked out of me can really affect what's going on in my brain, I'm afraid one day I'll just loose it unexpectantly. There was a loud knock at my door, Umex jumped up in excitement. I walked over to the door and put on my black hoody. I unlocked the locks that held the door from opening. There stood Steven, "Hey man, where have you been? You are late!" yelled Steven, "Dude, shut the fuck up! Serenity is asleep" I whispered angrily, "Oh, my bad" said Steven, "Let's go" I said as I pulled out my key from my pocket. Umex tried to come with us, but the door closed before she could get out, "Sorry, not tonight" I whispered. I heard her scratch at the door as I locked it.
The outside air was freezing, I put on my hood and lowered my head when we came across some guys, "Hey white boy" said a guy, "Don't listen to these racists man, you're gonna mop the floor with your opponent" said Steven, "Don't run out of the arena this time" said another guy. They all laughed. I flashed them a menacing look before I walked into the building.
"Get ready man, I think you are next after the occuring fight is over" said Steven, "All right" I said going into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. My hands were acting as my supporters because I couldn't stand all of a sudden. I looked up at myself, "Failure..." chanted the voices in my mind, "You are a pitiful failure!" said the voices, chanting louder. It was like the voices go with what I am doing, they say things that are appropriate for the moment, but also unexpectingly. I formed my hands to make a bowl when I turned the water on. I splashed it on my face, "Hey James, you up" said Steven, "Okay, hold on" I said wiping my face off.
"Hey everyone, we 'bout to get the fight started, Imperial(Me)versus Soldier of Chaos!"(My opponent)
The door opened, a bright light shined on me and I walked forward, the crowd booed and hissed at me. I still had my hood on even though I was about to get in a fight, but it did not bother me. Then Soldier of Chaos walked out in a military outfit, "Yes sir!" he yelled trying to be professional, "Pussy" I said to myself. A referee walked upon the center of the Arena, my opponent and I both did the same, "Now I want no one getting killed here, no weapons what-so-ever, okay, start the match!" said the referee. The crowd cheered. There was a strong scent of marijuana in the air. I looked around, everyone seemed to only be cheering on my opponent. When I looked back, my opponent seemed to be throwing a punch.
I bent my back to dodge it, hurting it in the process, "Oh!" groaned everyone in the crowd as I fell down, "Stupid move, dumb-ass" said my opponent. He attempted to kick me into the dirt, but I rolled away before he had a chance. I got up slowly, just incase I may have really hurt my back. My opponent charged for me and faked me out with a stomach to face punch. I stumbled back and hit the wall. He grabbed my long hair and began to pound my head agains the wall until we both heard a crack. I yelled and hit the floor, apparenly a piece of wood snapped when he was ramming my head into it.
"Look at this white boy pussy" said my opponent, "Ooh" said the crowd, I got up, pissed off at the formal racism of this place, "Now you listen here, there is no reason for you to be--" before I had a damn chance to finish what I was saying, he kicked me in the nuts, "Low blow!" yelled the referee. There was no penalty, apparently he just felt like blurting it out, "Get up cracker" said my opponent. I rose. I threw a punch when he wasn't looking, hit him in the back of the head, followed up with a kick to the spine. He hit the ground, grabbing his back, "God damn it! Fucking racists" I yelled. He then rose, "I didn't wanna use this cracker, you made me" he yelled as he pulled out a desert eagle. He pointed up and fired twice, "You guys going to cheer this guy on?" he yelled. Everyone was silent. I was struck with fear, I backed up to the wall, my hands up, "Now, who votes I blow this fucker's head off!?" he yelled. No one did anything, they froze, "WELL!?" he yelled as he fired 2 more bullets, "Go, go, go" they chanted unsurely, "Good choice" he said as he pointed the gun at me. I saw his finger pulling down at the trigger, my heart began to beat rapidly, and my voices were screaming at the top of their lungs, I couldn't hear anything except the screaming.
Suddenly, a dark figure jumped in and tackled the guy, he fired twice as he fell. Whatever the being was, it began to rip up the guys clothes. I took this as a chance, I charged him and tackled him as well. Now the people saw this as THEIR time to run. I grabbed the guy's arm that had the gun and twisted it. The guy began to scream, then there was a loud pop. He dropped the gun and grabbed his arm. He yelled in horrible pain, saliva dripping from his mouth. When I looked over at the being who tackled him, it was Umex, "Oh my God" I said to myself, "Aw, good girl!" I thanked Umex, I held her up and hugged her, "You are the best" I said, "Are you alright?" asked the referee, "Yeah, I'm fine, "Call a medic for this guy" he said, "You can leave now sir, that's enough for tonight" he said to me, "Okay" I replied.
"Hey man, you alright?" asked Steven as we walked outside, "I was pretty fucking worried about that maniac, pulling out his gun" I said, still had Umex in my arms, "You are lucky your little Umbreon saved you life, but how did he get out?" asked Steven, "Holy shit, I don't know, must be pretty damn smart" I said, "Yeah, smarty" I said cuddling my Umbreon, "You treat that pokemon like it was your second child" said Steven, "Uh-huh" I said not paying attention.
I took out my keys and unlocked my door, "See ya later" said Steven, "Bye" I said opening the door and letting Umex in. I locked the door silently and checked up on Serenity, "Good, still asleep in her bed" I said to myself.
I walked up to my table and sat down on the rickety chair.
I picked up the bottle of beer I always leave there. I drink it then I put my head down against the table. I think about how much I miss my wife, everytime I think about her I begin to cry, and that's what I was doing. I cried there and Umex jumped on the trying to comfort me.
"This is what I am sentenced too, risking my life every day for a worthless check"
Everyone who sees me on the streets call out "M.E.N.T.A.L."
That is what I am, that is my code, "My Ecstasy Nearly Takes Another Life"
By James Williams,
MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN DIFFERENT TERMS
Chapter End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, and is applicable for all consecutive chapters that follow.