Story Notes:
so far I've fixed this story's chapters. the next one should be out by the end of the holidays. hope you all keep reading it!
One: The cost of war
One: The Cost Of War.
It was around midnight when I finally came to a stop. I was panting for air, I had been running for several hours now, and I didn't seem to be getting anywhere at all. At this rate, I would have a heart attack before I could reach safety. I looked down at my PDA, it said this city was about twenty five miles wide, not to mention the extra ten miles between it and the airbase... there was no way I was going to get there on foot... specially carrying all this damn equipment. Dawn was already near, and I knew that if I was seen, I was sure dead meat. All my training came down to this; I needed shelter until nighttime, night was the only safe time to move. I looked around for suitable shelter, just then, I spotted it, a twenty story building, it was in ruins, but that's what made it even more suitable, no one would look for me there.
I moved as quickly as my body could take, finally making it to the lobby. To my disgust, the place was filled with dead bodies, most of them morphs. Their rotting corpses releasing a horrid stench into the air. At first I wanted nothing but to gag on the spot, the annoying buzz of insects only made things worse. But as I got used to the stench, another idea hit me.
"Maybe... Maybe I can use this to my advantage..."
I held my stomach hard as I began to move the bodies from side to side, setting several at the entrance of the building; the corpses would surely turn anybody who wanted in away. Most of the bodies where already on the higher stages of decomposition. Some were already skeletons. Many of them had maggots feeding on their exposed entrails and rotten flesh; it was enough to make even a vulture sick. At lest this would buy me some privacy, until nighttime of the next day at the very lest. After leaving the little grim reminder at the door I began to walk upstairs, several of the stairs where missing, no surprise there. The city had been bombed quite hard. As I got to the third floor, I realized that the stairs stopped, the rest where missing. I cursed my luck. Just then I spotted an elevator shaft, it was in ruins, but the cable was still attached, maybe I could climb it to the top floor. I wasted no time, I began to climb as best as I could, my coat was making this endeavor harder, and so I eventually discarded it. After sixteen floors, I found that I could go no further, I was one floor away, and the stairs where still missing. My arms felt like they where ready to fall off any minute now. When the numbness kicked in, it would be sending me spiraling down towards my demise sixteen floors below. Just when I thought my luck was out, an elevator platform came down with quite some force and speed; I managed to pull the last of my strength and jumped out of the shaft in time to avoid been hit by the damn thing. It hit my floor and stopped with a huge impact. It shook the entire place, and several parts of the floor caved, falling into the lower floors. The loud boom would have been enough to wake even the dead sixteen floors below. To make matters worse, I heard footsteps coming inside the building, several voices shouted orders. My mind was racing back and forth between what had just happen and what was inevitably about to happen. My worst fear was becoming a reality
"Shit! they found me!"
Without even questioning anything, I jumped into the elevator. I had no idea why I did that, for all I know, the things could fall apart before my eyes, but it was better than been shot to death. I found no buttons to make the damn thing move at all, it was just a simple plank of metal, held by a motor. Then I looked at the motor, it had what looked like a handle, it was connected to the motor, and a closer look revealed that a battery of some kind was needed to make it move. But as usual in my life, the battery was missing. I knew if I could somehow charge it with enough electricity... I looked at my hand and I charged my fist with electric energy, I knew how to use several types of elemental attacks, and an electric punch should give off enough electricity to move this thing. The footsteps where getting louder, I knew well they could not reach me since there where no stairs. But then I saw several cables shoot up past me and strike the upper roof, and I heard the distinct sound of grappling hooks revving up. I grabbed the handle, and began to charge my fist with more electricity. For a few moments, nothing happened. The sound was getting louder and louder, any moment now I would be seen, and possibly shot. Just when I though my luck had run out, the platform began to rumble, and it moved up, with quite some speed. I sighed; I wasn't going to get killed today at least.
After about a minute, the elevator came to a stop. I looked around; I was at the very top of the building, the penthouse. I walked as quietly as possible, but after a short stroll I came into a huge garden, most of it in ruins. At the very edge of the building stood what was undeniably a mansion of some kind, or at least, what had been a mansion, for almost all of it was burned down. My nose couth whiff of the stench of death again, but this time, I smelled burned rubber and fat as well. I leaned over the edge and pulled out my binoculars. Several soldiers exited my building; I could clearly hear what they were saying to themselves.
"You find anything?"
"Nope, whatever that sound was, it was probably debris"
"It took us some time to get in there anyway, there were a lot of bodies in the entrance... somebody put them there"
"Nah fool! You're just imagining things!"
One of the soldiers was smoking, he was a Banette morph, as he slowly rose from his position, a weird feeling ran down my spine; almost as if I knew him somehow. He threw his cigarette aside and straighten himself, his visage revealing nothing about his personality, save the obvious fact that this being had seen all kinds of hell. But in war, who doesn't?
"What are two talking about? There is nothing there, we made sure of it; remember?"
The other soldiers only looked at each other
"But sir! The bodies! Somebody moved them!"
"Yeah, they couldn't have moved themselves! Could they Hibiky?"
This soldier, Hibiky... Somehow that name rang a bell, I had no Idea why, maybe I owned him money or something...
"Both of you guys are pussies! There is no one there! I don't even know why we are wasting time here! We got better things to do"
He turned around and began to walk towards the military vehicle, it was some kind of tank, it was a beast that could tear this whole building in seconds flat, and I did NOT want to mess with that thing; at least with the weapons I had on me, which where only my hands. The other two soldiers jumped aboard as the tank roared to life. It took off in quite a hurry, spilling dust and smoke into the air. I only kept my guard up until the tank was out of view. Once it had past my field of vision, I sighted and lowered my guard. There appeared to be no one else here, at least no else that was still amongst the living. So I decided to make myself comfortable.
I walked towards the mansion; the fire was still raging with some fury. I walked past what used to be the lobby and kept going, most of the place was torn down or burned up, and so I made myself as comfortable as I could around the lobby. Everything else was inaccessible unless I had some kind of bulldozer. I sat next to the raging fire, it was fierce, but was under control. By the looks of it, it only had a few hours left before it went out. Seeing my situation, I needed that fire to last until morning of the next day. or longer if I could manage. I needed something to burn, fast. I looked around, I found plenty of wood to burn, but wood alone would not be sufficient, I needed something a little more durable, that's when it hit me...
"No need to have so many bodies lying around here..."
************************************************
I began to take off my armor; this thing could get me killed here. Ironic really, this armor was supposed to protect me against bullets, but it was heavy as hell, at lest by my standards anyway. The only thing I left on me was my under shirt, my pants, my boots, my topless gloves, and my lucky headband. I was going to travel as lightly as possible, which of course meant that I was exposed in combat. Then it was settled, I was going to avoid any type of combat if I could. I looked down at the only technology I had left with me; it was a PDA, which Ironically looked a lot like a pokedex. This brought back some bitter memories for my kind. Long gone where the days when humans and pokemon lived in peace, gone where the day when awesome battles took place, but not for land, or survival, but rather for sport and glory. I sighted, I would give anything I had to see those ancient glory days the elders always spoke of. But I knew all too well, things could never go back to the way they used to be. Everyday; I wondered if I had died and landed in hell? Or had hell just come to earth? Tough to answer. But it sure could confuse a guy. The PDA had a GPS system and a communicator, but ironically enough, he signal was dead, I had to get to higher ground to use it. It was almost as if the damn machine was teasing me.
"Useless technology... if only I had a cell phone..."
I began to curse my cheapness. Finally after several hours of relaxing to the best of my ability, I remembered the note that mike had given me before his untimely demise. Somehow thinking about it gave me chills, more chills than the winds outside, I had not realized it, but it was already getting dark, and my PDA read that the temperature was at about ten degrees Fahrenheit. Had it not been for the fire I still kept alive by feeding it dead bodies, I would be an ice cube. this night was cold, something told me walking in this weather would kill me. my thoughts went back to someone else who had died the prior day
"Poor kid... no one deserves to die like he did..."
I looked at the note, and found nothing written in it. In fact, it wasn't a note at all. It was just a plain piece of folded paper, it was wrapped around what appeared to be some kind of chip, and a closer look revealed it was just a PDA memory card. Was this what he wanted me to deliver? But to whom? I looked at the chip; maybe the answer was within it. I put it into my PDA, it began to load, and after several seconds, four files appeared in the screen, the first one was a letter entitled 'Bleed' it was labeled under 'poetry'. Ignoring the little voice in the back of my head that told me this was wrong, I opened it and began to read it.
"BLEED
By mike Rossi
I am here on the field
Bleeding, dying.
My life slowly fades away, as my essence sips out of my body.
The crimson liquid of life.
The battle was won but at what cost?
I'll tell you at what cost.
10,000,000,000
My life comes to an end, yet...
This feeling,
So warm,
So comforting,
Jessica....
Death, she finally has come for me..........
............................................
Jessica.....................................
...........................................
With the last of my energy I think to myself
I am dead now, right on this field, but it does not matter now.
My life, my death....
They were my own....
No one..........................................
................ Else's....................
I became number 10,000,000,001"
Somehow reading this gave me chills, even more than thinking about mike's death or the cold air that would come in every now and then. It was almost as if he had known he was going to die, mike had always been kind of a freak; he even had a sort of second sight. But other than that, it didn't surprise me much, mike had always been a poet, while I'm not entirely sure he was good, at least he wrote. Proof that art still existed in this husk of a world. The next poem was a philosophical entry; I was never really that good at thinking critically, but I wanted to know just how smart mike really was, he had always boasted a pretty high IQ
"Here are some bad thoughts...
Smart, but bad.
Our world is at its limit.
We are about seven billion strong... and we keep getting bigger by the years...
In about fifty years, within most of our lifetimes, we will hit the ten billion mark,
This planet can only hold seven billion lives,
Why are we so keen on destruction?
We live our lives oblivious to our surroundings, ignoring warnings and signs, the world is getting hotter, and we burn trough our resources, it won't be long before war breaks up for what little resources are left."
This was obviously written several years back. everything mike had written up to this point had come true. It makes you wonder just how much can a person really do? How far can you push Gaia, before she decides to push back? Ten billion, which had been the official number of inhabitants of earth, but then, the wars broke out. Some blame the need for resources, others blame the fact that the world had entered another ice age, and other went as far as to blame aliens. But most people turned to face one another, and shot each other on the face. The first few years of the war had been total chaos, entire nations burned to the ground, billions of people who simply vanished in the firestorms, and to make things worse, the environment had taken a side against everyone. With ferocious storms at sea, earth splitting earthquakes that opened the very crust of the earth itself, and just about every volcano going active. It wasn't long before nuclear winter hit hard. The very sky becoming so pitch black, that for several months, the sun became nothing but a memory. When it did resurface, it had taken on a red hue, the same color as the blood that ran so rampart on the soil and water. In certain places, blood was more common than water itself. The plants began to turn red from all the blood they where sucking from the ground, before they shriveled up and died. Today, only about 10% of those who lived in this world remain. Soul energy has become so abundant, that most machine nowadays run on soul energy itself. I always did wonder, when I die, would I too be used to powers some kind of death machine? Would my energy be responsible for taking even more lives?
I only kept reading.
"There are many people that hold a deep grudge against morphs and humans, who is to say we are all safe? They tell you on the news everyday about people who have paid the ultimate price, and all for what... NOTHING! They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong Idea....
But wait a minute, maybe they had the right idea, who am I to say that killing yourself for what you believe is wrong? What if it's the only real way out? Would you not rather take as many people as you can with you? If you had a loaded gun with twelve bullets, would you not rather waste eleven of those on somebody?
Then again, who am I to say what people can't or can do...?"
Mike was pointing out the terrorism that took place during the first few years of the war, many people had resorted to suicide bombing as a way to not only make a point, but also to get out of this sinking ship. Now that I think back on it, blowing yourself up doesn't seem like that bad of an Idea, considering the current set of events anyway...
I continued reading.
"You sleep soundly in your bed at night, thinking only how good/bad was your day, and you plan for tomorrow, but who's to say, that tonight may be your last night amongst the living, what if you never really woke up, what would you really find after life? Are all of our dream and aspirations really for nothing? Are we living only in a delusion in which we believe ourselves as gods? Are we really doomed to be forgotten and lost to the sands of time and the seas of ignorance? Is the end, really the end?
Your asking the wrong guy, but then again.... hunger knows no bounds.... and takes no prisoners either.
So, breath while you can
eat while you can
enjoy life while you can
because who is to say that one will find peace in the other side?
Who is to say that maybe, just maybe, you already live in hell, and who is to say that another type of hell awaits... prove to the world that you exist for a purpose other than dying, other than being forgotten. Become a legend like so many have done, aspire to be the best at what you do, strive for immortality, and never give up on your dream, only you have the power to shape your life, Arceus gave us that gift
Who is to say... maybe one day you too will become a god, even if you already think you are one....
The end may come at any time and in so many different forms, its nice to know that even if you are doomed, that life is worth living. Do not waste it, if you do... then you are a real loser, a loser on a cosmic scale."
My thought where now a nasty mix, one side, I found myself cursing even more the fact that I did nothing to save the guy, but in the other, I just found myself thinking that this was the reason why he loathed fighting so much. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense, mike had not just thought this things would happen; he had known they would happen. It made me wonder... just what the hell was mike?
Even if it made so sense, at least mike had been right about something...
This life was hell, and the one that awaited me was even worse. No matter how much you wish to deny it, you just can't run from that fact. I knew now, that no matter what I did, I was doomed.
The next two entries where a video and his final diary entry, I watched the video, and found myself even more depressed. It was a video of Mike's girlfriend, a beautiful ninetails morph, she was holding Mike's newborn child, a silver Eevee, she seemed happy, and was telling him how much she loved him and how she wanted him back soon. The next one was mikes own diary entry, it was a letter for her, and it read:
"Dear Jessica:
Its been months since I last saw you, and god... its been hell!
I got your video, and to tell you the truth, I can't begin to explain my joy! To think that I am a father now! The thought of it fills me with such joy; it's like a new meaning to life itself! To think that a new life has been brought forth in a time when so many are lost...
God, you have no Idea how much I miss you, and how I wish I could be there for you like before I was shipped to this pointless war. I mean, why is it that our nations have to fight for? If the old gods where here; nothing like this would be happening now.
I just wished that the cities were safer... if I lost you... I... I don't know what I would do...
But don't worry much about me, I making the best out of my situation, although everyone here keeps their distance from me, calling me 'new meat' they say I won't last more than a week! Well guess what? Its been a week, and I've saved more of those unhappy bastards than they killed! yeah, to tell you the truth, we've been getting our asses handed to us for the past few weeks, although there hasn't been that much casualties in the field, mostly because many of out commanders know how to use recover, I'm even beginning to learn it myself! I've also considered using evolution stones on myself to get stronger, but my best friend says it's not a good idea...
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention him! his name is... Wait... I forgot his real name! Some friend I turned out to be! anyway; the other call him 'Cos' it's supposed to be some kind of abbreviation to his real name... he is an odd one. But I don't blame him; after all, he's had a terrible past. The poor guy barely gets any sleep, every time he manages to sleep; he mumbles about a girl named 'Rukia' though the commanders have tried to get him to talk, he never spills the beans. He's a though one, I'll give him that! But the thing that scares me about him is the fact that when he fights, he does it in a way that tells me that he has a lot of anger problems. I can feel them exploding from his soul. But in war, odd people make the best friends. He's given me so much advice, that I feel like a pro in certain areas. Cos, he's been there, he's seen hell, I'm just glad he's on our side.
You know it just as..."
More useless babble. Although I was surprised he thought so highly of me, going as far as to call me his 'best friend' in many ways though; I was the only person he got along fine with. Most of the people though he was gay at first, but after he hung around me for a while, that though quickly melted away. The poor kid had been scared out of his mind when he got assigned to our unit. His records said that he had some very special abilities in the field of medicine. So he was made our unit's medic. Many of the others looked at him as a worthless addition to the unit. Some even went as far as to say that he cheated his way to the medic's. Medics rarely get killed in combat, at least that's how it had been in the old days. Nowadays, everyone was free game. I sighted.
"...If only he had known my real past..."
After I finished reading the last of the letter, I was more determined than ever; this chip was going to make it to its destination, it was the only thing I could do for the kid now. I just hoped that his girlfriend would not be so heartbroken... at lest it gave me a reason to push forward. In war, there are only two things that will save you; determination, and rage. Either one will give you strength unlike anything you've ever experienced, like being high on adrenaline.
I thought to myself, if Rukia were still alive... what would my children have looked like?
I began to recall the fact that both of us, though young, where already determined to have children, whenever I think of the good times, I find myself warming up to the idea of having children... someone to pass the line on to, someone who looks up to you and calls you daddy... but that dream was long gone, and so was the will to even try and reproduce. When it came to my future, no one would do it justice other than Rukia.
The chill of the snow and ice quickly had me curling up into a ball. The building was torn, yet... it wasn't as cold as it should have been. The PDA said it was at minus twenty degrees, yet it only felt like it was only fifty degrees. Maybe I didn't feel it because of the raging fire? Or was it because my soul was colder than any ice, even colder than that of a Regice? Or maybe my will burned as hot as moltre's flame? Who knew?
I got as comfortable as I could and tried to doze off, no sense walking in this cold weather, I had a long walk ahead of me. To my surprise I fell sleep rather quickly, and for the first time in years, had a good dream, a dream of having children with the one person who I knew would make me happy...
I smiled silently in my sleep.
Too bad some dreams have a nasty tendency of going awry when you lest expect them to. As it happened to me way too often...Chapter End Notes:next chaper will be fixed shortly
It was around midnight when I finally came to a stop. I was panting for air, I had been running for several hours now, and I didn't seem to be getting anywhere at all. At this rate, I would have a heart attack before I could reach safety. I looked down at my PDA, it said this city was about twenty five miles wide, not to mention the extra ten miles between it and the airbase... there was no way I was going to get there on foot... specially carrying all this damn equipment. Dawn was already near, and I knew that if I was seen, I was sure dead meat. All my training came down to this; I needed shelter until nighttime, night was the only safe time to move. I looked around for suitable shelter, just then, I spotted it, a twenty story building, it was in ruins, but that's what made it even more suitable, no one would look for me there.
I moved as quickly as my body could take, finally making it to the lobby. To my disgust, the place was filled with dead bodies, most of them morphs. Their rotting corpses releasing a horrid stench into the air. At first I wanted nothing but to gag on the spot, the annoying buzz of insects only made things worse. But as I got used to the stench, another idea hit me.
"Maybe... Maybe I can use this to my advantage..."
I held my stomach hard as I began to move the bodies from side to side, setting several at the entrance of the building; the corpses would surely turn anybody who wanted in away. Most of the bodies where already on the higher stages of decomposition. Some were already skeletons. Many of them had maggots feeding on their exposed entrails and rotten flesh; it was enough to make even a vulture sick. At lest this would buy me some privacy, until nighttime of the next day at the very lest. After leaving the little grim reminder at the door I began to walk upstairs, several of the stairs where missing, no surprise there. The city had been bombed quite hard. As I got to the third floor, I realized that the stairs stopped, the rest where missing. I cursed my luck. Just then I spotted an elevator shaft, it was in ruins, but the cable was still attached, maybe I could climb it to the top floor. I wasted no time, I began to climb as best as I could, my coat was making this endeavor harder, and so I eventually discarded it. After sixteen floors, I found that I could go no further, I was one floor away, and the stairs where still missing. My arms felt like they where ready to fall off any minute now. When the numbness kicked in, it would be sending me spiraling down towards my demise sixteen floors below. Just when I thought my luck was out, an elevator platform came down with quite some force and speed; I managed to pull the last of my strength and jumped out of the shaft in time to avoid been hit by the damn thing. It hit my floor and stopped with a huge impact. It shook the entire place, and several parts of the floor caved, falling into the lower floors. The loud boom would have been enough to wake even the dead sixteen floors below. To make matters worse, I heard footsteps coming inside the building, several voices shouted orders. My mind was racing back and forth between what had just happen and what was inevitably about to happen. My worst fear was becoming a reality
"Shit! they found me!"
Without even questioning anything, I jumped into the elevator. I had no idea why I did that, for all I know, the things could fall apart before my eyes, but it was better than been shot to death. I found no buttons to make the damn thing move at all, it was just a simple plank of metal, held by a motor. Then I looked at the motor, it had what looked like a handle, it was connected to the motor, and a closer look revealed that a battery of some kind was needed to make it move. But as usual in my life, the battery was missing. I knew if I could somehow charge it with enough electricity... I looked at my hand and I charged my fist with electric energy, I knew how to use several types of elemental attacks, and an electric punch should give off enough electricity to move this thing. The footsteps where getting louder, I knew well they could not reach me since there where no stairs. But then I saw several cables shoot up past me and strike the upper roof, and I heard the distinct sound of grappling hooks revving up. I grabbed the handle, and began to charge my fist with more electricity. For a few moments, nothing happened. The sound was getting louder and louder, any moment now I would be seen, and possibly shot. Just when I though my luck had run out, the platform began to rumble, and it moved up, with quite some speed. I sighed; I wasn't going to get killed today at least.
After about a minute, the elevator came to a stop. I looked around; I was at the very top of the building, the penthouse. I walked as quietly as possible, but after a short stroll I came into a huge garden, most of it in ruins. At the very edge of the building stood what was undeniably a mansion of some kind, or at least, what had been a mansion, for almost all of it was burned down. My nose couth whiff of the stench of death again, but this time, I smelled burned rubber and fat as well. I leaned over the edge and pulled out my binoculars. Several soldiers exited my building; I could clearly hear what they were saying to themselves.
"You find anything?"
"Nope, whatever that sound was, it was probably debris"
"It took us some time to get in there anyway, there were a lot of bodies in the entrance... somebody put them there"
"Nah fool! You're just imagining things!"
One of the soldiers was smoking, he was a Banette morph, as he slowly rose from his position, a weird feeling ran down my spine; almost as if I knew him somehow. He threw his cigarette aside and straighten himself, his visage revealing nothing about his personality, save the obvious fact that this being had seen all kinds of hell. But in war, who doesn't?
"What are two talking about? There is nothing there, we made sure of it; remember?"
The other soldiers only looked at each other
"But sir! The bodies! Somebody moved them!"
"Yeah, they couldn't have moved themselves! Could they Hibiky?"
This soldier, Hibiky... Somehow that name rang a bell, I had no Idea why, maybe I owned him money or something...
"Both of you guys are pussies! There is no one there! I don't even know why we are wasting time here! We got better things to do"
He turned around and began to walk towards the military vehicle, it was some kind of tank, it was a beast that could tear this whole building in seconds flat, and I did NOT want to mess with that thing; at least with the weapons I had on me, which where only my hands. The other two soldiers jumped aboard as the tank roared to life. It took off in quite a hurry, spilling dust and smoke into the air. I only kept my guard up until the tank was out of view. Once it had past my field of vision, I sighted and lowered my guard. There appeared to be no one else here, at least no else that was still amongst the living. So I decided to make myself comfortable.
I walked towards the mansion; the fire was still raging with some fury. I walked past what used to be the lobby and kept going, most of the place was torn down or burned up, and so I made myself as comfortable as I could around the lobby. Everything else was inaccessible unless I had some kind of bulldozer. I sat next to the raging fire, it was fierce, but was under control. By the looks of it, it only had a few hours left before it went out. Seeing my situation, I needed that fire to last until morning of the next day. or longer if I could manage. I needed something to burn, fast. I looked around, I found plenty of wood to burn, but wood alone would not be sufficient, I needed something a little more durable, that's when it hit me...
"No need to have so many bodies lying around here..."
************************************************
I began to take off my armor; this thing could get me killed here. Ironic really, this armor was supposed to protect me against bullets, but it was heavy as hell, at lest by my standards anyway. The only thing I left on me was my under shirt, my pants, my boots, my topless gloves, and my lucky headband. I was going to travel as lightly as possible, which of course meant that I was exposed in combat. Then it was settled, I was going to avoid any type of combat if I could. I looked down at the only technology I had left with me; it was a PDA, which Ironically looked a lot like a pokedex. This brought back some bitter memories for my kind. Long gone where the days when humans and pokemon lived in peace, gone where the day when awesome battles took place, but not for land, or survival, but rather for sport and glory. I sighted, I would give anything I had to see those ancient glory days the elders always spoke of. But I knew all too well, things could never go back to the way they used to be. Everyday; I wondered if I had died and landed in hell? Or had hell just come to earth? Tough to answer. But it sure could confuse a guy. The PDA had a GPS system and a communicator, but ironically enough, he signal was dead, I had to get to higher ground to use it. It was almost as if the damn machine was teasing me.
"Useless technology... if only I had a cell phone..."
I began to curse my cheapness. Finally after several hours of relaxing to the best of my ability, I remembered the note that mike had given me before his untimely demise. Somehow thinking about it gave me chills, more chills than the winds outside, I had not realized it, but it was already getting dark, and my PDA read that the temperature was at about ten degrees Fahrenheit. Had it not been for the fire I still kept alive by feeding it dead bodies, I would be an ice cube. this night was cold, something told me walking in this weather would kill me. my thoughts went back to someone else who had died the prior day
"Poor kid... no one deserves to die like he did..."
I looked at the note, and found nothing written in it. In fact, it wasn't a note at all. It was just a plain piece of folded paper, it was wrapped around what appeared to be some kind of chip, and a closer look revealed it was just a PDA memory card. Was this what he wanted me to deliver? But to whom? I looked at the chip; maybe the answer was within it. I put it into my PDA, it began to load, and after several seconds, four files appeared in the screen, the first one was a letter entitled 'Bleed' it was labeled under 'poetry'. Ignoring the little voice in the back of my head that told me this was wrong, I opened it and began to read it.
"BLEED
By mike Rossi
I am here on the field
Bleeding, dying.
My life slowly fades away, as my essence sips out of my body.
The crimson liquid of life.
The battle was won but at what cost?
I'll tell you at what cost.
10,000,000,000
My life comes to an end, yet...
This feeling,
So warm,
So comforting,
Jessica....
Death, she finally has come for me..........
............................................
Jessica.....................................
...........................................
With the last of my energy I think to myself
I am dead now, right on this field, but it does not matter now.
My life, my death....
They were my own....
No one..........................................
................ Else's....................
I became number 10,000,000,001"
Somehow reading this gave me chills, even more than thinking about mike's death or the cold air that would come in every now and then. It was almost as if he had known he was going to die, mike had always been kind of a freak; he even had a sort of second sight. But other than that, it didn't surprise me much, mike had always been a poet, while I'm not entirely sure he was good, at least he wrote. Proof that art still existed in this husk of a world. The next poem was a philosophical entry; I was never really that good at thinking critically, but I wanted to know just how smart mike really was, he had always boasted a pretty high IQ
"Here are some bad thoughts...
Smart, but bad.
Our world is at its limit.
We are about seven billion strong... and we keep getting bigger by the years...
In about fifty years, within most of our lifetimes, we will hit the ten billion mark,
This planet can only hold seven billion lives,
Why are we so keen on destruction?
We live our lives oblivious to our surroundings, ignoring warnings and signs, the world is getting hotter, and we burn trough our resources, it won't be long before war breaks up for what little resources are left."
This was obviously written several years back. everything mike had written up to this point had come true. It makes you wonder just how much can a person really do? How far can you push Gaia, before she decides to push back? Ten billion, which had been the official number of inhabitants of earth, but then, the wars broke out. Some blame the need for resources, others blame the fact that the world had entered another ice age, and other went as far as to blame aliens. But most people turned to face one another, and shot each other on the face. The first few years of the war had been total chaos, entire nations burned to the ground, billions of people who simply vanished in the firestorms, and to make things worse, the environment had taken a side against everyone. With ferocious storms at sea, earth splitting earthquakes that opened the very crust of the earth itself, and just about every volcano going active. It wasn't long before nuclear winter hit hard. The very sky becoming so pitch black, that for several months, the sun became nothing but a memory. When it did resurface, it had taken on a red hue, the same color as the blood that ran so rampart on the soil and water. In certain places, blood was more common than water itself. The plants began to turn red from all the blood they where sucking from the ground, before they shriveled up and died. Today, only about 10% of those who lived in this world remain. Soul energy has become so abundant, that most machine nowadays run on soul energy itself. I always did wonder, when I die, would I too be used to powers some kind of death machine? Would my energy be responsible for taking even more lives?
I only kept reading.
"There are many people that hold a deep grudge against morphs and humans, who is to say we are all safe? They tell you on the news everyday about people who have paid the ultimate price, and all for what... NOTHING! They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong Idea....
But wait a minute, maybe they had the right idea, who am I to say that killing yourself for what you believe is wrong? What if it's the only real way out? Would you not rather take as many people as you can with you? If you had a loaded gun with twelve bullets, would you not rather waste eleven of those on somebody?
Then again, who am I to say what people can't or can do...?"
Mike was pointing out the terrorism that took place during the first few years of the war, many people had resorted to suicide bombing as a way to not only make a point, but also to get out of this sinking ship. Now that I think back on it, blowing yourself up doesn't seem like that bad of an Idea, considering the current set of events anyway...
I continued reading.
"You sleep soundly in your bed at night, thinking only how good/bad was your day, and you plan for tomorrow, but who's to say, that tonight may be your last night amongst the living, what if you never really woke up, what would you really find after life? Are all of our dream and aspirations really for nothing? Are we living only in a delusion in which we believe ourselves as gods? Are we really doomed to be forgotten and lost to the sands of time and the seas of ignorance? Is the end, really the end?
Your asking the wrong guy, but then again.... hunger knows no bounds.... and takes no prisoners either.
So, breath while you can
eat while you can
enjoy life while you can
because who is to say that one will find peace in the other side?
Who is to say that maybe, just maybe, you already live in hell, and who is to say that another type of hell awaits... prove to the world that you exist for a purpose other than dying, other than being forgotten. Become a legend like so many have done, aspire to be the best at what you do, strive for immortality, and never give up on your dream, only you have the power to shape your life, Arceus gave us that gift
Who is to say... maybe one day you too will become a god, even if you already think you are one....
The end may come at any time and in so many different forms, its nice to know that even if you are doomed, that life is worth living. Do not waste it, if you do... then you are a real loser, a loser on a cosmic scale."
My thought where now a nasty mix, one side, I found myself cursing even more the fact that I did nothing to save the guy, but in the other, I just found myself thinking that this was the reason why he loathed fighting so much. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense, mike had not just thought this things would happen; he had known they would happen. It made me wonder... just what the hell was mike?
Even if it made so sense, at least mike had been right about something...
This life was hell, and the one that awaited me was even worse. No matter how much you wish to deny it, you just can't run from that fact. I knew now, that no matter what I did, I was doomed.
The next two entries where a video and his final diary entry, I watched the video, and found myself even more depressed. It was a video of Mike's girlfriend, a beautiful ninetails morph, she was holding Mike's newborn child, a silver Eevee, she seemed happy, and was telling him how much she loved him and how she wanted him back soon. The next one was mikes own diary entry, it was a letter for her, and it read:
"Dear Jessica:
Its been months since I last saw you, and god... its been hell!
I got your video, and to tell you the truth, I can't begin to explain my joy! To think that I am a father now! The thought of it fills me with such joy; it's like a new meaning to life itself! To think that a new life has been brought forth in a time when so many are lost...
God, you have no Idea how much I miss you, and how I wish I could be there for you like before I was shipped to this pointless war. I mean, why is it that our nations have to fight for? If the old gods where here; nothing like this would be happening now.
I just wished that the cities were safer... if I lost you... I... I don't know what I would do...
But don't worry much about me, I making the best out of my situation, although everyone here keeps their distance from me, calling me 'new meat' they say I won't last more than a week! Well guess what? Its been a week, and I've saved more of those unhappy bastards than they killed! yeah, to tell you the truth, we've been getting our asses handed to us for the past few weeks, although there hasn't been that much casualties in the field, mostly because many of out commanders know how to use recover, I'm even beginning to learn it myself! I've also considered using evolution stones on myself to get stronger, but my best friend says it's not a good idea...
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention him! his name is... Wait... I forgot his real name! Some friend I turned out to be! anyway; the other call him 'Cos' it's supposed to be some kind of abbreviation to his real name... he is an odd one. But I don't blame him; after all, he's had a terrible past. The poor guy barely gets any sleep, every time he manages to sleep; he mumbles about a girl named 'Rukia' though the commanders have tried to get him to talk, he never spills the beans. He's a though one, I'll give him that! But the thing that scares me about him is the fact that when he fights, he does it in a way that tells me that he has a lot of anger problems. I can feel them exploding from his soul. But in war, odd people make the best friends. He's given me so much advice, that I feel like a pro in certain areas. Cos, he's been there, he's seen hell, I'm just glad he's on our side.
You know it just as..."
More useless babble. Although I was surprised he thought so highly of me, going as far as to call me his 'best friend' in many ways though; I was the only person he got along fine with. Most of the people though he was gay at first, but after he hung around me for a while, that though quickly melted away. The poor kid had been scared out of his mind when he got assigned to our unit. His records said that he had some very special abilities in the field of medicine. So he was made our unit's medic. Many of the others looked at him as a worthless addition to the unit. Some even went as far as to say that he cheated his way to the medic's. Medics rarely get killed in combat, at least that's how it had been in the old days. Nowadays, everyone was free game. I sighted.
"...If only he had known my real past..."
After I finished reading the last of the letter, I was more determined than ever; this chip was going to make it to its destination, it was the only thing I could do for the kid now. I just hoped that his girlfriend would not be so heartbroken... at lest it gave me a reason to push forward. In war, there are only two things that will save you; determination, and rage. Either one will give you strength unlike anything you've ever experienced, like being high on adrenaline.
I thought to myself, if Rukia were still alive... what would my children have looked like?
I began to recall the fact that both of us, though young, where already determined to have children, whenever I think of the good times, I find myself warming up to the idea of having children... someone to pass the line on to, someone who looks up to you and calls you daddy... but that dream was long gone, and so was the will to even try and reproduce. When it came to my future, no one would do it justice other than Rukia.
The chill of the snow and ice quickly had me curling up into a ball. The building was torn, yet... it wasn't as cold as it should have been. The PDA said it was at minus twenty degrees, yet it only felt like it was only fifty degrees. Maybe I didn't feel it because of the raging fire? Or was it because my soul was colder than any ice, even colder than that of a Regice? Or maybe my will burned as hot as moltre's flame? Who knew?
I got as comfortable as I could and tried to doze off, no sense walking in this cold weather, I had a long walk ahead of me. To my surprise I fell sleep rather quickly, and for the first time in years, had a good dream, a dream of having children with the one person who I knew would make me happy...
I smiled silently in my sleep.
Too bad some dreams have a nasty tendency of going awry when you lest expect them to. As it happened to me way too often...Chapter End Notes:next chaper will be fixed shortly