AGNPH Stories
 

When Lemon Writers Get Bored by delitasama

 
 

When Lemon Writers Get Bored

Warning! The following is a horrid waste of time! Reading this story is hazardous to your health! It contains spoofing aimed directly at the very author of this story! It contains poorly drawn out erotic sequences. You've been warned.

When Lemon Writer's Get Bored
Written by: Delita-san
Email: [email protected]
Spoofing: Pokemon Lemons, My own older stories


SEIYAKU*. I, Delita Agito, hereby warn you that you are about to stumble into a waste of time story. I am thusly released from paying any medical bills that result from the brain damaging stupidity contained in this story. Read on at your own peril, it's derivitive and stupid. Why did I write it? Ah, the mystery that is the human mind at 4 in the morning.
D-SAN


*Seiyaku: Oath.

Dark D-san: Hello and welcome to the first, stirring edition of 'When Lemon Writer's Get Bored!'. I'm your host, Dark D-san! I am Delita-san's evil twin, in case you're wondering (Which means I'm his good twin since he's evil enough normally?). You have been brought here for punishment. You know what you did, shaming yourself on a nightly basis to pictures of furry animals having sex. Nothing any resident of this nexus of darkness hasn't done (Myself included ^^; ). Here, you will be tortured by every horrible cliche, plotline, and anything else I can think of to be cruel to you! Now, are the any suggestions on how to get things started?

Furry Artisan Genkotsu #2: Draw furries! Draw furries, damn you!

Dark D-san: That's what got you here in the first place! Anything else?

*The Victims remain silent*

Dark D-san: Very well. I know how to deal with you! Eat bad plot!!!!!!!!

*Dark D-san flaps his big batwings, laughs evilly and changes the surrounding with his dark arts!*

*Suddenly an image of young man appears. A huge caption bubble says "Shea-san!"*

Shea: No! No more!!!

*Shea runs for his life from a huge horde of horny pokemon female characters.*

Shea: Why must every woman on the planet find me sexy?! It sucks to have women lusting after me all the time! I hate this! Monogamy rules!

Dark D-san: Disturbing, no? What a nancy-boy! I can't believe that Delita-san really thought he was writing good stuff back then! "I don't want to have sex with all those sexy women! Just one girl is good enough for me!" Fah!!! Every single female character in the show lusting after him? Get real!

*Dark D-san removes the image*

Dark D-san: That was just a little taste of the evil I can inflict upon you! I can do FAR worse, trust me! Let's see what other evils are in my bag of tricks!

*Dark D-san rummages through a burlap sack marked Bag of Tricks*

Dark D-san: Ah! Eat this!

*Dark D-san again changes the scenery.*

Misty: Oh, Ash! I love you so much! Let's do it right here!

Ash: Right away!

*Ash and Misty proceed to get it on.*

Misty: Your cock is so big, 19 and 1/2 inches, incredible!

Dark D-san: That's incredible for elephant.

Ash: You're so tight!

*Various groans and grunts and moans, and even a few munts are heard*

Dark D-san: What the hell is a munt?! Who cares! Let's stop this before I lose my lunch.

*Dark D-san sends away the images*

Dark D-san: So, scared yet?

Furry Artisan Genkotsu #2: Get to the furries! Come on!!!!

*Dark D-san is annoyed*

Dark D-san: Don't make me angry, or I'll send you to the real, true hell! The Zone of Infinite Sailor Moon cliches!

Furry Artisan Genkotsu #2: I'll be good.

Dark D-san: Is your mind not gripped with terror? Are you not vomitting in fear right now?!

Victim: No, not really. Just mildly annoyed.

*Dark D-san growls and sends the victim to The Zone of Infinite Sailor Moon Cliches.*

Victim: Nooooooooooo!!!!!!

Dark D-san: Suffer endlessly at the bad storylines revolving around either Usagi finding out she's a lesbo with Ami or doing it with Tuxedo Mask! Taste the evil! Now, back to business. Let's try something drastic.... Here we go!

*Dark D-san opens the Bag of Tricks and new surroundings appear.*

Dark D-san: Behold, the great and pan-ultimate evil known as Cliched Rape sequence!

Misty: Brock, no!

Brock: Come here you little bitch!

*Brock rapes Misty*

Misty: Owww!! it hurts! Ooh, It feels good!

Dark D-san: Make up your mind! Does it hurt or feel good?!

Misty: And now I reveal my secret love for you, Brock!

Brock: And I reveal that I'm just plowing you for fun!

Dark D-san: This crap is affecting even ME. Let's change the tempo.

*Dark D-san snaps his fingers.*

Dark D-san: Behold! The ultimate bad storyline!

*The group is walking through the forest, when they suddenly drop on the ground and have a three way*

Misty: My greatest fantasy, both of your cocks in me!

Ash: *Groan*'

Brock: *Grunt*

Dark D-san: Now the most evil part! Behold!

*The writer makes a cameo in one of his own stories (hint hint)*

Writer: I am the great and mighty writer! All the women bow to me!!!

Misty: Oh great writer, I'd fuck you all day on a whim!

Writer: Yes, I am the great and mighty writer! Now come suck my pencil!

Dark D-san: Horrifying. A writer appearing in one of his own stories! How.... uhhh you didn't hear that. Let's move on to the final vision of horror!

*Dark D-san overturns the Bag of Tricks*

Dark D-san: Sha-zaam!

*An image of Shea and Misty in bed after fucking.*

Shea: I love you.

Misty: and I love you.

Shea: Our love is greater than--

Dark D-san: I'm sorry, I can't let this love dovey drivel continue!! Get a clue!! He only loves you because you cook his sausage (wink wink)! If you stopped the booty train, he'd find someone who would give it to him!

Misty: Not true!

Shea: Yeah, our love is----

Dark D-san: Oh shut up! I've had my fill of you! If Delita-san ever adds to that storyline again, I hope it'll be only a few chapters, and that would be to finish the thing off once and for all!

Shea: Why are you being so mean?

Dark D-san: Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum! I'm running the show here! I'm being mean and cruel and nasty because it's my job to be! Enough! I have had enough torturing you! I get the feeling it was worse for me anyways! So go beat off at furry pics! I don't care anymore. On that note, I'll be back in about hour.

*Dark D-san flies away, cackling perversly*

THE END

The preeceding story did not represent the author's opinions. He was being self-depricating (despite raising a few cojent points about his old lemons faults), and didn't mean a word of it. *evil subliminal message* DELITA-SAN'S LEMONS ARE GOOD. READ DELITA-SAN'S LEMONS. DELITA-SAN IS FATHER. TRUST DELITA-SAN. DELITA-SAN IS YOUR FAMILY. DELITA-SAN IS ALL IMPORTANT. *end subliminal message*
 
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