When Lemon Writers Get Bored 2
*Disclaimer*
The following is hazardous to your sanity and features sex and... stuff. Anyways.... yadayadayadanounder18yadayadayadayada. Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Game Freak, and I'm using their characters without permission. They don't like it, they can lick my nuts. And this time each sequence is more of an actual microstory than a blurb. That's ENOUGH of this.
*Writer's Note*
Well, here we are, with When Lemon Writers Get Bored Volume 2. I'm sure you're asking "Why did he make a volume 2? Volume one didn't exactly go over well." Well, that's because I have found a couple of other cliches (and one or two that I don't think anyone else has drawn attention to yet.) This issue, and all subsegquent ones, will all have a different style. The last one had it as Dark D-san attempting to torture the readers for looking at (and beating off to) furry pictures. This time, it's just ME presenting it like an episode of the original Twilight Zone and an episode of the Outer Limits mashed together. Each cliche is treated like a different Twilight Zone episode. If anyone MSTs this (I doubt that'll happen), send me a copy! Enough talk! Weirdness-ho!!!
When Lemon Writers Get Bored 2
Written by: Delita-san
Email: [email protected]
-------------
HERE WE GO!!!
-------------
*An Image of a TV screen*
Announcer: And now, back to "Fast Pokemon, Slow Children"!
*An image of a Houndoom running through a jungle. The next image is of a fat kid walking.*
Fat Kid: Hey, come on guys! Wait up!
*The Houndoom running again. Every time the Houndoom is seen, tribal music from Africa is in the backround.*
Fat Kid: Oh, I'll never catch up.
*The Houndoom running again.*
Fat Kid: Oh great, now my legs are covered with honey!
*The Houndoom is almost there!!!*
Fat Kid: Hey what the--
*The screen suddenly changes*
Announcer: We interrupt "Fast Pokemon, Slow Children" to bring you "The Boring World with Niels Boehr."
*Niels Boehr is about to speak when the screen changes to static. It then changes again to a black backround with a single glowing green horizontal line across it.*
Voice: Do not attempt to adjust your television.
*The green line wavers like an oscilliscope every time the voice speaks*
Voice: We control the horizontal and the vertical. We are in complete control. We could show a vast multitude of images, or reduce your line of sight to a single focal point. The images we show could take you to the very heights of joy, or to the brink of insanity. You are about to enter "The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches". Please stand by.
*The screen goes blank. Delita-san walks into this void, wearing a suit, with a cigarette hanging from his hand.*
Delita-san: Welcome. Tonight, I'll be presenting to you some cliches from Pokemon lemons, including a few you may or may not have already seen chronicled. I must warn you, these are not for the faint of heart. They may shock, terrify, amuse or annoy you. If you have a heart condition, leave the room now.
*Delita-san waits a few moments for the stragglers to leave*
Delita-san: Now, I shall present to you a few more... Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
|EPISODE 1: The Stream|
*Delita-san is seen sitting in a tree*
Delita-san: Submitted for your approval, a common Pokemon Lemon plot device that seems to have been overlooked by most cliche-critics. It starts with Misty heading down to the stream to get a bath. This little story arrived here on a one-way ticket. It's point of departure: The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera pans away to a campsite. There Ash, Misty and Brock are all sitting around the fire.*
Misty: Ugh! I hate this... I'm all covered in dirt and dust. You guys stay here and chat, I'm gonna go take a bath in the stream nearby.
*Misty leaves. Ash and Brock look at each other for a moment*
Ash: You mean she's gonna be...
Brock: Yeah she'll be...
*Ash and Brock sneak down to the stream to watch*
*Misty has removed her clothes, and is wading waist deep in the water*
Misty: Ahhh, it's so nice... I can finally get clean.
*Misty starts to wash dirt and dust off of her body, but then the current of the water causes it to flow right into her cunt. She gasps.*
Misty: Oh my! I think there's more I can do out here than simply get clean!
*Misty begins to masturbate. Somewhere, the sounds of three zippers (three?) can be heard unzipping.*
Misty: Ooh! Aah! Other Sound of Pleasure!
*Misty has unusually large tits for a 11 year old.*
*In the trees along the stream's shore, Ash and Brock are beating off looking at Misty rub herself stupid.*'
Ash: Hey Brock, how many times have we done this again?
Brock: Approaching 60, now shut up! I'm trying to maintain a stiffie here!
*Both Brock and Ash are hung like whales*
Misty: Ooh! That's nice!
*Misty cums. Ash and Brock rushedly do up their pants and run like hell to the campsite.*
Ash: Why does she always manage to finish before we do?! I thought girls took longer!
Brock: Because that's the way it is! Nothing here makes any sense, anyways! I mean, our wangs are beyond ELEPHANT proportions!
Ash: You see me complaining about that?
*Misty gets dressed and returns to camp*
Misty: So boys, do anything interesting while I was gone?
Ash: You could say that.
*Brock jabs Ash in the ribs*
Brock: Well, I'm going to bed.
*Brock walks away weirdly, attempting to hide his boner*
Misty: Ash, I know you were watching me!
*Ash gets a panicked look on his face*
Misty: I want you to help me!
*Ash looks confused*
*Misty runs over and strokes him through his pants*
Ash: Ohh!! I see!
*Ash and Misty rip off their clothes and go at it like wild bunnies on coke*
Misty: Oh Ash! That's it! Right there! My virgin body has been aching for this for ages!
Ash: VIRGIN?! Then how the hell is it I haven't hit your hymen yet? I'm all the way in there!
Misty: Ummmmm...
*The camera pans out. It pans back to Delita-san, who is zipping up his pants (so that's what that third zipper was)*
Delita-san: That scene had been written at least a dozen times, by my count. There are always little differences, but the general concept remains the same. As all concepts do in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
|EPISODE 2: Team Rocket|
*Delita-san is seen standing by a camp site. The tents have a large red R on them*
Delita-san: Submitted for your approval: Team Rocket. Bumbling villains, general idiots. And yet, somehow, they always seem to be paired off. While they seem to be complete and utter retards at everything else, their sexual prowess seems to be beyond compare. Perhaps they should quit Team Rocket and get a career in porn. Well, this little slice of porn comes to you from a corner Adult Bookstore, on a street in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera pans over to the tent*
Jessie: Oh, I'm bored!
James: Me too.
Meowth: I'm also bored.
*Jessie and James look at each other for a moment. They grab Meowth and toss him out of the tent.*
Meowth: Hey! What the fuck?!
*Jessie and James rip off their clothes*
James: Wow, Jessie! You look incredible! Your tits are enormous!
Jessie: (Thinking) Yeah, and I have the back aches and plastic surgery bills to help explain that.
Jessie: Your so HUGE!! I've never seen a dick that huge in my life (and I've seen more than my share!)
James: Really?
Jessie: Yeah, even that boy and his friend don't have dicks THAT big.
James: Wait a sec...
*Jessie then goes about sucking James off. She does it with more prowess and skill then Jenna Jamison (spelling...)*
James: Ooh!! Nice!
*Jessie swings around and shoves her crotch in James' face. James licks her cunt (with surprising skill)*
Jessie: (Stops sucking James) Whoa! Where'd you learn that?!
James: I don't know! This is my first time having sex!
*Jessie looks at him confused for a moment. James has a stupid innocent look on his face, the sad thing is this really IS his first time*
James: Is something wrong?
Jessie: .... No.. nothing.
*Jessie goes back to sucking James, and now deepthroats him. James resumes licking Jessie, and somehow magically knows precisely where to go with his tongue inside of her.*
Jessie: (Takes James out of her mouth again) Now I KNOW that this can't be your first time!
James: But it is!
*They again resume. After ten thousand hours they cum. Then James sticks his ridiculously large dick inside Jessie's pussy, which is supposedly very tight*
James: Oh Jessie, you're so very tight!!!"
Jessie: James, you're so huge!!!!
*James is so huge he SHOULD be ripping her in half down the middle with that monster dick, but somehow the laws of nature don't seem to apply.*
Jessie: Jaaaaammmmessss!!!!
James: Meeeeeee!!!!
*Jessie and James cum, and ironically enough, it's at the same time. Afterwards, James pulls out his anatomically impossible junk and somehow Jessie's pussy defies all biological laws and logic and REMAINS tight*
Jessie: That was incredible.
James: I guess so.
*The camera pans out. It turns back to Delita-san, who now has Meowth in his lap, and is petting Meowth ala Dr. Evil*
Delita-san: Strange coincidence that the laws of nature, biology and reality seem to bend whenever sexual activity is involved. And somewhow the sexually inexperienced make those who've had sex a thousand times before look like a bunch of morons. Unrealistic? Not in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*Commercial Break!!!*
Spokesman: Have you ever had this happen to you?
*A young man and woman are seen fucking*
Woman: Oh, Brad!! That's it! Right there!!!
Brad: Ooh yeah, Jen!
*SNAP*
*Brad and Jen look down*
Brad: Dammit, not again! The condom broke!!!
Spokesman: Condom breakage is one of the top concerns for young people today. Stop the problem at the source, get Rhyhorn Brand Condoms! These revoloutinary condoms deliver maximum sensation, while still offering maximum protection! It's made of a space age lightweight material, which was developed originally for PASA (Pokeworld Aeronautics and Space Administration) for... some reason. Anyways, it's powerful enough to withstand the most brutal conditions! For example: Power Drills!
*A power drill is shoved into the condom and run at full speed. The condom is unaffected*
Spokesman: Fire!
*The condom has a flamethrower shoved into it. The trigger is pulled, and the condom fills with fire but is not burned*
Spokesman: A 30 megaton nuclear blast!!
*The condom is wrapped around a nuclear bomb. The bomb explodes! The condom expands for a moment from the force, but then contracts back to normal.*
Spokesman: Yes, Rhyhorn Brand Condoms won't break under any circumstance (and we've heard them all!)
*A Different Commercial*
Voiceover: Are you the kind of guy who likes to sneak around? Wanna get a good look into the girl's locker room? Wanna conduct espionage against your own government? NO PROBLEM!!! Just pick up the Official Solid Snake Sneaking Kit!!
*A picture of Solid Snake*
Voiceover: Yes, you two can do such incredible things as: Knock out guards!
*Snake shoots a guard with his M9*
Voiceover: Climb walls!
*Snake uses vacuum suction wall climbing apparati and climbs the wall*
Voiceover: Hang from a ceiling!
*Snake hangs from the ceiling by attaching one of the wall climbers to the ceiling and then looping a grappling hook around it*
Voiceover: See in the dark!
*Snake puts on nightvision goggles. The camera shows the nightvision*
Voiceover: And the best part is you get Snake's sneaking suit! The whole kit is only $59.95!
Get it today!!!
Legal Disclaimer Voice: *talking fast* Thecompanythatproducesthisproductdoesnotencourageespionage.
Voiceover: Spy on your government today!
*End Commercials*
|EPISODE 3: Hump a Pokemon|
*Delita-san is seen standing outside a hotel room*
Delita-san: Submitted for your approval, another Pokemon Lemon Cliche that many cliche-critcs may have overlooked. I'm standing here outside Misty's hotel room. What she doesn't know is that she's being guided by unseen forces to follow a path found only in... The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera goes through the door and reveals Misty, on her bed, watching TV.*
Misty: I'm so bored...
*Misty looks over at her bag, which contains her pokeballs*
Misty: None of them can help me...
*Misty leaves her room and heads to Ash's room. She knocks on the door*
Ash: (opens door): yeah?
Misty: Could I borrow some pokemon?
Ash: Don't you have any of your own?!
Misty: Lemme borrow one of yours!
Ash: Which?
Misty: Ummm.... Bulbasaur.
Ash: .... why?
Misty: No reason... I just need to use a plant type for something.
Ash: You're not gonna have him gang bang you with his vine whips, are you?
*Misty begins to sweat nervously*
Misty: Uhhhhh.... no, of course not.. Why the hell would you think that?
Ash: Because me and Brock just saw that on the TV on the Hotel pay per view...
*Ash gets clocked with a flying shoe*
Brock: Shut up!!!
Ash: I'm sorry, forget I said that.
Misty: I can assure you, I'm not going to do that.
*Ash looks at her suspisciously*
Ash: Alright... but if I find out you've done something nasty, I'm gonna be pissed.
*Ash hands Misty the pokeball with Bulbasaur and closes the door*
Misty: That was close.
*Misty heads down the hall back to her room. She opens the door and calls out Bulbasaur*
Bulbasaur: Bulba? (What the hell?)
Misty: I have an extra special job for you!
Bulbasaur: Bulbabulba. (Lemme guess, ya want me to screw ya, right?)
Misty: I need you to put your vine whips here!
*Misty yanks off her shorts, to reveal no panties and a wet, dripping pussy*
Bulbasaur: Saur. (Yep. I knew it.)
*Misty notices a uninterested look on Bulbasaur's face*
Misty: I SAID DO IT, YA PIECE OF CRAP!!!!
*Bulbasaur flinches and extends his vine whips. He inserts one into Misty's pussy, and the other into her ass*
Bulbasaur: Bulba? (There, happy?)
*Bulbasaur pumps the vines in and out of her*
Misty: Ahhh, that's it....
*Bulbasaur vinefucks Misty until she cums, and it's a VIOLENT orgasm*
Misty: AAAHH!!!!
Bulbasaur: B-bulba!!! (What the fuck?!?!)
*Misty cums so hard Bulbasaur's vines shoot out and bury themselves into the wall*
Misty: Ahhh, sex with a Pokemon is always better.
*Bulbasaur is frozen in shock*
Misty: Oh dear, that must be the first time he's done that...
Bulbasaur: S-s-saur. (No, but that's the first time I've seen the old Pussy Cannon trick in person.)
*Misty recalls the shivering and frightened Bulbasaur and drops it back off with Ash.*
Misty: Thanks!
Ash: .... no prob..
*Ash gives her a weird look and closes the door*
Ash: She fucked him, I know it.
Brock: Probably. For some reason that girl has become insatiable.
Ash: Tell me about it, that time after she was bathing in the stream...
Brock: Or that time in that dark mine....
Ash: What?
Brock: Uh oh...
*Ash lunges at Brock, ready to fight!!*
Brock: Aagh!!
*The camera pans away, and Delita-san is standing in the hallway.*
Delita-san: A carnal act between human and Pokemon. Harmless sex, or catalyst for mayhem?
*Ahs and Brock are heard screaming and fighting in the backround. A sweatdrop rolls down Delita-san's head*
Delita-san: Well, I guess the answer in this case is catalyst. Anyways, sex with a Pokemon is common in Pokemon lemons. This act of beastiality can be between many different characters, but it's usualy the same thing. Apparently, all trainers gladly practice it in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera shows Delita-san back in the void*
Delita-san: Well, that's all for now. I hope that we have shed some light on a few important points, and maybe helped some people to realize that no one is safe from The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches. Good night.
*Delita-san walks away.*
THE END....
FOR NOW.
---------
End Notes
---------
Well, that's all for now. I couldn't think of any others for right now. But trust me, there are always new Pokemon Lemon plot devices being made into cliches by overuse. When Lemons Writers Get Bored Volume 3 IS a definite possibilty. You have been warned.
The following is hazardous to your sanity and features sex and... stuff. Anyways.... yadayadayadanounder18yadayadayadayada. Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Game Freak, and I'm using their characters without permission. They don't like it, they can lick my nuts. And this time each sequence is more of an actual microstory than a blurb. That's ENOUGH of this.
*Writer's Note*
Well, here we are, with When Lemon Writers Get Bored Volume 2. I'm sure you're asking "Why did he make a volume 2? Volume one didn't exactly go over well." Well, that's because I have found a couple of other cliches (and one or two that I don't think anyone else has drawn attention to yet.) This issue, and all subsegquent ones, will all have a different style. The last one had it as Dark D-san attempting to torture the readers for looking at (and beating off to) furry pictures. This time, it's just ME presenting it like an episode of the original Twilight Zone and an episode of the Outer Limits mashed together. Each cliche is treated like a different Twilight Zone episode. If anyone MSTs this (I doubt that'll happen), send me a copy! Enough talk! Weirdness-ho!!!
When Lemon Writers Get Bored 2
Written by: Delita-san
Email: [email protected]
-------------
HERE WE GO!!!
-------------
*An Image of a TV screen*
Announcer: And now, back to "Fast Pokemon, Slow Children"!
*An image of a Houndoom running through a jungle. The next image is of a fat kid walking.*
Fat Kid: Hey, come on guys! Wait up!
*The Houndoom running again. Every time the Houndoom is seen, tribal music from Africa is in the backround.*
Fat Kid: Oh, I'll never catch up.
*The Houndoom running again.*
Fat Kid: Oh great, now my legs are covered with honey!
*The Houndoom is almost there!!!*
Fat Kid: Hey what the--
*The screen suddenly changes*
Announcer: We interrupt "Fast Pokemon, Slow Children" to bring you "The Boring World with Niels Boehr."
*Niels Boehr is about to speak when the screen changes to static. It then changes again to a black backround with a single glowing green horizontal line across it.*
Voice: Do not attempt to adjust your television.
*The green line wavers like an oscilliscope every time the voice speaks*
Voice: We control the horizontal and the vertical. We are in complete control. We could show a vast multitude of images, or reduce your line of sight to a single focal point. The images we show could take you to the very heights of joy, or to the brink of insanity. You are about to enter "The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches". Please stand by.
*The screen goes blank. Delita-san walks into this void, wearing a suit, with a cigarette hanging from his hand.*
Delita-san: Welcome. Tonight, I'll be presenting to you some cliches from Pokemon lemons, including a few you may or may not have already seen chronicled. I must warn you, these are not for the faint of heart. They may shock, terrify, amuse or annoy you. If you have a heart condition, leave the room now.
*Delita-san waits a few moments for the stragglers to leave*
Delita-san: Now, I shall present to you a few more... Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
|EPISODE 1: The Stream|
*Delita-san is seen sitting in a tree*
Delita-san: Submitted for your approval, a common Pokemon Lemon plot device that seems to have been overlooked by most cliche-critics. It starts with Misty heading down to the stream to get a bath. This little story arrived here on a one-way ticket. It's point of departure: The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera pans away to a campsite. There Ash, Misty and Brock are all sitting around the fire.*
Misty: Ugh! I hate this... I'm all covered in dirt and dust. You guys stay here and chat, I'm gonna go take a bath in the stream nearby.
*Misty leaves. Ash and Brock look at each other for a moment*
Ash: You mean she's gonna be...
Brock: Yeah she'll be...
*Ash and Brock sneak down to the stream to watch*
*Misty has removed her clothes, and is wading waist deep in the water*
Misty: Ahhh, it's so nice... I can finally get clean.
*Misty starts to wash dirt and dust off of her body, but then the current of the water causes it to flow right into her cunt. She gasps.*
Misty: Oh my! I think there's more I can do out here than simply get clean!
*Misty begins to masturbate. Somewhere, the sounds of three zippers (three?) can be heard unzipping.*
Misty: Ooh! Aah! Other Sound of Pleasure!
*Misty has unusually large tits for a 11 year old.*
*In the trees along the stream's shore, Ash and Brock are beating off looking at Misty rub herself stupid.*'
Ash: Hey Brock, how many times have we done this again?
Brock: Approaching 60, now shut up! I'm trying to maintain a stiffie here!
*Both Brock and Ash are hung like whales*
Misty: Ooh! That's nice!
*Misty cums. Ash and Brock rushedly do up their pants and run like hell to the campsite.*
Ash: Why does she always manage to finish before we do?! I thought girls took longer!
Brock: Because that's the way it is! Nothing here makes any sense, anyways! I mean, our wangs are beyond ELEPHANT proportions!
Ash: You see me complaining about that?
*Misty gets dressed and returns to camp*
Misty: So boys, do anything interesting while I was gone?
Ash: You could say that.
*Brock jabs Ash in the ribs*
Brock: Well, I'm going to bed.
*Brock walks away weirdly, attempting to hide his boner*
Misty: Ash, I know you were watching me!
*Ash gets a panicked look on his face*
Misty: I want you to help me!
*Ash looks confused*
*Misty runs over and strokes him through his pants*
Ash: Ohh!! I see!
*Ash and Misty rip off their clothes and go at it like wild bunnies on coke*
Misty: Oh Ash! That's it! Right there! My virgin body has been aching for this for ages!
Ash: VIRGIN?! Then how the hell is it I haven't hit your hymen yet? I'm all the way in there!
Misty: Ummmmm...
*The camera pans out. It pans back to Delita-san, who is zipping up his pants (so that's what that third zipper was)*
Delita-san: That scene had been written at least a dozen times, by my count. There are always little differences, but the general concept remains the same. As all concepts do in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
|EPISODE 2: Team Rocket|
*Delita-san is seen standing by a camp site. The tents have a large red R on them*
Delita-san: Submitted for your approval: Team Rocket. Bumbling villains, general idiots. And yet, somehow, they always seem to be paired off. While they seem to be complete and utter retards at everything else, their sexual prowess seems to be beyond compare. Perhaps they should quit Team Rocket and get a career in porn. Well, this little slice of porn comes to you from a corner Adult Bookstore, on a street in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera pans over to the tent*
Jessie: Oh, I'm bored!
James: Me too.
Meowth: I'm also bored.
*Jessie and James look at each other for a moment. They grab Meowth and toss him out of the tent.*
Meowth: Hey! What the fuck?!
*Jessie and James rip off their clothes*
James: Wow, Jessie! You look incredible! Your tits are enormous!
Jessie: (Thinking) Yeah, and I have the back aches and plastic surgery bills to help explain that.
Jessie: Your so HUGE!! I've never seen a dick that huge in my life (and I've seen more than my share!)
James: Really?
Jessie: Yeah, even that boy and his friend don't have dicks THAT big.
James: Wait a sec...
*Jessie then goes about sucking James off. She does it with more prowess and skill then Jenna Jamison (spelling...)*
James: Ooh!! Nice!
*Jessie swings around and shoves her crotch in James' face. James licks her cunt (with surprising skill)*
Jessie: (Stops sucking James) Whoa! Where'd you learn that?!
James: I don't know! This is my first time having sex!
*Jessie looks at him confused for a moment. James has a stupid innocent look on his face, the sad thing is this really IS his first time*
James: Is something wrong?
Jessie: .... No.. nothing.
*Jessie goes back to sucking James, and now deepthroats him. James resumes licking Jessie, and somehow magically knows precisely where to go with his tongue inside of her.*
Jessie: (Takes James out of her mouth again) Now I KNOW that this can't be your first time!
James: But it is!
*They again resume. After ten thousand hours they cum. Then James sticks his ridiculously large dick inside Jessie's pussy, which is supposedly very tight*
James: Oh Jessie, you're so very tight!!!"
Jessie: James, you're so huge!!!!
*James is so huge he SHOULD be ripping her in half down the middle with that monster dick, but somehow the laws of nature don't seem to apply.*
Jessie: Jaaaaammmmessss!!!!
James: Meeeeeee!!!!
*Jessie and James cum, and ironically enough, it's at the same time. Afterwards, James pulls out his anatomically impossible junk and somehow Jessie's pussy defies all biological laws and logic and REMAINS tight*
Jessie: That was incredible.
James: I guess so.
*The camera pans out. It turns back to Delita-san, who now has Meowth in his lap, and is petting Meowth ala Dr. Evil*
Delita-san: Strange coincidence that the laws of nature, biology and reality seem to bend whenever sexual activity is involved. And somewhow the sexually inexperienced make those who've had sex a thousand times before look like a bunch of morons. Unrealistic? Not in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*Commercial Break!!!*
Spokesman: Have you ever had this happen to you?
*A young man and woman are seen fucking*
Woman: Oh, Brad!! That's it! Right there!!!
Brad: Ooh yeah, Jen!
*SNAP*
*Brad and Jen look down*
Brad: Dammit, not again! The condom broke!!!
Spokesman: Condom breakage is one of the top concerns for young people today. Stop the problem at the source, get Rhyhorn Brand Condoms! These revoloutinary condoms deliver maximum sensation, while still offering maximum protection! It's made of a space age lightweight material, which was developed originally for PASA (Pokeworld Aeronautics and Space Administration) for... some reason. Anyways, it's powerful enough to withstand the most brutal conditions! For example: Power Drills!
*A power drill is shoved into the condom and run at full speed. The condom is unaffected*
Spokesman: Fire!
*The condom has a flamethrower shoved into it. The trigger is pulled, and the condom fills with fire but is not burned*
Spokesman: A 30 megaton nuclear blast!!
*The condom is wrapped around a nuclear bomb. The bomb explodes! The condom expands for a moment from the force, but then contracts back to normal.*
Spokesman: Yes, Rhyhorn Brand Condoms won't break under any circumstance (and we've heard them all!)
*A Different Commercial*
Voiceover: Are you the kind of guy who likes to sneak around? Wanna get a good look into the girl's locker room? Wanna conduct espionage against your own government? NO PROBLEM!!! Just pick up the Official Solid Snake Sneaking Kit!!
*A picture of Solid Snake*
Voiceover: Yes, you two can do such incredible things as: Knock out guards!
*Snake shoots a guard with his M9*
Voiceover: Climb walls!
*Snake uses vacuum suction wall climbing apparati and climbs the wall*
Voiceover: Hang from a ceiling!
*Snake hangs from the ceiling by attaching one of the wall climbers to the ceiling and then looping a grappling hook around it*
Voiceover: See in the dark!
*Snake puts on nightvision goggles. The camera shows the nightvision*
Voiceover: And the best part is you get Snake's sneaking suit! The whole kit is only $59.95!
Get it today!!!
Legal Disclaimer Voice: *talking fast* Thecompanythatproducesthisproductdoesnotencourageespionage.
Voiceover: Spy on your government today!
*End Commercials*
|EPISODE 3: Hump a Pokemon|
*Delita-san is seen standing outside a hotel room*
Delita-san: Submitted for your approval, another Pokemon Lemon Cliche that many cliche-critcs may have overlooked. I'm standing here outside Misty's hotel room. What she doesn't know is that she's being guided by unseen forces to follow a path found only in... The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera goes through the door and reveals Misty, on her bed, watching TV.*
Misty: I'm so bored...
*Misty looks over at her bag, which contains her pokeballs*
Misty: None of them can help me...
*Misty leaves her room and heads to Ash's room. She knocks on the door*
Ash: (opens door): yeah?
Misty: Could I borrow some pokemon?
Ash: Don't you have any of your own?!
Misty: Lemme borrow one of yours!
Ash: Which?
Misty: Ummm.... Bulbasaur.
Ash: .... why?
Misty: No reason... I just need to use a plant type for something.
Ash: You're not gonna have him gang bang you with his vine whips, are you?
*Misty begins to sweat nervously*
Misty: Uhhhhh.... no, of course not.. Why the hell would you think that?
Ash: Because me and Brock just saw that on the TV on the Hotel pay per view...
*Ash gets clocked with a flying shoe*
Brock: Shut up!!!
Ash: I'm sorry, forget I said that.
Misty: I can assure you, I'm not going to do that.
*Ash looks at her suspisciously*
Ash: Alright... but if I find out you've done something nasty, I'm gonna be pissed.
*Ash hands Misty the pokeball with Bulbasaur and closes the door*
Misty: That was close.
*Misty heads down the hall back to her room. She opens the door and calls out Bulbasaur*
Bulbasaur: Bulba? (What the hell?)
Misty: I have an extra special job for you!
Bulbasaur: Bulbabulba. (Lemme guess, ya want me to screw ya, right?)
Misty: I need you to put your vine whips here!
*Misty yanks off her shorts, to reveal no panties and a wet, dripping pussy*
Bulbasaur: Saur. (Yep. I knew it.)
*Misty notices a uninterested look on Bulbasaur's face*
Misty: I SAID DO IT, YA PIECE OF CRAP!!!!
*Bulbasaur flinches and extends his vine whips. He inserts one into Misty's pussy, and the other into her ass*
Bulbasaur: Bulba? (There, happy?)
*Bulbasaur pumps the vines in and out of her*
Misty: Ahhh, that's it....
*Bulbasaur vinefucks Misty until she cums, and it's a VIOLENT orgasm*
Misty: AAAHH!!!!
Bulbasaur: B-bulba!!! (What the fuck?!?!)
*Misty cums so hard Bulbasaur's vines shoot out and bury themselves into the wall*
Misty: Ahhh, sex with a Pokemon is always better.
*Bulbasaur is frozen in shock*
Misty: Oh dear, that must be the first time he's done that...
Bulbasaur: S-s-saur. (No, but that's the first time I've seen the old Pussy Cannon trick in person.)
*Misty recalls the shivering and frightened Bulbasaur and drops it back off with Ash.*
Misty: Thanks!
Ash: .... no prob..
*Ash gives her a weird look and closes the door*
Ash: She fucked him, I know it.
Brock: Probably. For some reason that girl has become insatiable.
Ash: Tell me about it, that time after she was bathing in the stream...
Brock: Or that time in that dark mine....
Ash: What?
Brock: Uh oh...
*Ash lunges at Brock, ready to fight!!*
Brock: Aagh!!
*The camera pans away, and Delita-san is standing in the hallway.*
Delita-san: A carnal act between human and Pokemon. Harmless sex, or catalyst for mayhem?
*Ahs and Brock are heard screaming and fighting in the backround. A sweatdrop rolls down Delita-san's head*
Delita-san: Well, I guess the answer in this case is catalyst. Anyways, sex with a Pokemon is common in Pokemon lemons. This act of beastiality can be between many different characters, but it's usualy the same thing. Apparently, all trainers gladly practice it in The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches.
*The camera shows Delita-san back in the void*
Delita-san: Well, that's all for now. I hope that we have shed some light on a few important points, and maybe helped some people to realize that no one is safe from The Zone of Pokemon Lemon Cliches. Good night.
*Delita-san walks away.*
THE END....
FOR NOW.
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End Notes
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Well, that's all for now. I couldn't think of any others for right now. But trust me, there are always new Pokemon Lemon plot devices being made into cliches by overuse. When Lemons Writers Get Bored Volume 3 IS a definite possibilty. You have been warned.