Story Notes:
Blahblah Obligatory Legal Disclaimer blahblahDisclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.If you're the type of person that cries when you see something sad on TV, then you probably don't wanna read this. Not that I want you to cry or anything...but it is kinda sad, if you're emo like that.
Old Memories
Kat huffed faintly and kept climbing, her eyes flitting back and forth between the grass, and the rocks, and the nearby cliffside, hearing the crashing, pounding ocean waves breaching upon the shore. It was the morning after her meeting with the Lucario, and she was searching, once more, for pokémon. She knew there was a scyther on the island somewhere, and that was her target. Hence her climbing up the volcano in the early hours of the morning, while it was still mostly dark.
She hadn't seen the Lucario after an incident the previous day.
It was late in the afternoon, after they had returned to her village on the eastern side of the island. It wasn't anything big, or even really permanent, with a pokémon, a pokecentre, and a few houses. It was made, mainly, for the spring, when her entire village acceded to their nomadic origins and came to the island for a season of fishing while the Magikarp were good.
The memories were vivid to her. Every step had been a pain, and blood had soaked across her entire lower leg from the cut the Scyther had inflicted upon her. It wasn't a mortal wound, but it had hurt like hell. She had gone to the pokémart and bought the Lucario a silver bow as a way to show him that it was alright that she had gotten hurt, that she didn't hold it against him, and while she was gone, it let him acclimatise himelf to her house, where she had told him he could stay for a while, until he figured out what he was going to do.
She had presented the bow to him, in her lounge room, just holding it out with a smile.
The Lucario had taken the bow, and stared at it for the longest time, as if lost, before turning and literally fleeing the house, as if it were on fire. She hadn't seen him since, and doubted she ever would. He had seemed...emotionally unstable. The way she saw it, he probably needed to be alone.
Kat's head tilted to one side, and she listened intently. From up ahead, along the line of the rocky cliff, she could hear something. She wasn't quite sure what it was, and so she crept slowly closer, to try and figure out what it was, sidling up to a rock and peering over top of it.
It struck her then, how infernally easy it was to sneak up to someone who was in the middle of an embarrassing moment, and then how hard it was to sneak away without them realising.
The Lucario was a silhouette against the dark backdrop of the unlit ocean, the one red eye she could see in the darkness glowing like a dying coal, a glimmer of moisture tracing a path from it to the Lucario's nose, and from there, dripping into his lap. She could barely see the edge of the silver bow she had given him, sitting in his lap.
I-it seems you are destined to see me in my weakest moments... came the soft, sad mental voice of the Lucario, before she could even begin to try creeping away.
"I-I'm sorry...I didn't know you were here, honestly! I was looking for that Scyther, from yesterday, and the cliff is one of the places I haven't searched and..." she trailed off with a faint sigh. "I'll go." she murmured gently, turning away.
No! the Lucario's tone was almost needy, desperate. Stay...please... he murmured, patting the ground nearby him with a paw, head still down turned, though his tears had stopped...probably because of her.
She nodded the once, and slowly made her way over to him, sitting down on the edge of the cliff with him, with her legs over the side, not too close, but not too far away from the blue-and-black pokémon, waiting for him to speak first.
E-everything... he murmured faintly, and then paused and brushed at his eyes with the back of his paw, taking a steadying breath, Everything reminds me of her...there's a flower, in the volcano's lake...I remember she wore perfume that was made with the pollen of that same kind of flower...and every single time I smell it, I remember her hugging me, keeping me and the rest of her pokémon tight to her for warmth on cold nights when we were adventuring...But it isn't just the big things! he held his head in his paws, and gave a long sound of pain. Every time the goddamn wind passes through my fur in just the right way, I remember standing with her on a hillside, whenever I hear a bird call I remember walking with her through the forest! Everything reminds me of her, and now she's gone...a-and I'm never going to be able to do all of those things again... he made a strangled noise and then sniffled once, before drawing in a deep breath, trying to steady himself.
"I know..." she murmured, helplessly, inching a little closer to him, and then wrapping her arm around his shoulders, pulling him in close to her.
T-the bow you got me...it reminded me of her as well... he murmured faintly, leaning against her and wrapping his paws around her as if he were drowning and she were driftwood.
"I'm sorry..." she murmured, gently patting his back.
No...it wasn't your fault...everything reminds me of her. But the bow... he gave a long sigh and shook his head sadly, burying his nose in her side for comfort.
She was training me so hard... he said, shakily, before drawing in a deep breath and seeming to calm down slightly. I couldn't learn the move she wanted me to...and I tried, I tried so hard to learn it for her...but she just gave up on it. Gave up on me. She said it was alright, that I didn't need to learn the new move to be perfect in her eyes...but I wanted to! I needed to learn that move for her, to make her proud of me...And she already was proud of me! I was just too young and stupid to see that. She was proud of me for trying...she didn't care if I could do it or not, she didn't care one way or the other, but it mattered to me, I wanted to learn that move for her...and so I trained in secret. Every night, I would sneak out, and practice... he shook his head gently, and stared down at his lap, his tail giving a weak little flick.
And then we had this battle...it was against a really, really strong pokémon. A Venusaur. It had been trained so well...there was just nothing the other pokémon could do against it, and she let me out as a last resort. I was the last pokémon she had left out of the six, and she told me later that she sent me out last because she didn't want me to get hurt...but I had trained, I'd trained for her, I'd learn the Flame Punch she tried to teach me, and when I used it on that Venusaur and beat it with a single move...she was so proud of me... silent tears were coursing down the pokémons muzzle again, splashing into her lap, and he had to stop as his voice broke, and he was unable to continue.
...She took me to the pokémart afterwards, after she had healed the rest of her pokémon...she let me walk there, out of the pokéball, and she was smiling at me...t-that sweet smile of hers...she took me in there, and told me I could have anything in the shop, anything I wanted at all...but I just said something stupid and sweet to her...I don't even remember what it was, something like, 'All I ever want is for you to be my trainer'...and she was just so happy at that moment...she got me that silver bow right afterwards, and as she tied it on, she told me it was a special sign from her...a sign that she would always be my trainer, and my friend...and then she hugged me...and the entire world seemed to just...stop...and I was so happy at that moment...she was proud of me, and that was all I ever wanted!
Tears were now splashing readily into her lap, and she continued to gently pat at his back, as soothingly as she could, rocking him a little back and forth.
W-when you gave me this silver bow, I-I remember that moment... he murmured softly, staring down at the slightly-moist, and now fairly dirty silver bow that was sitting in his lap.
"But that's something to be happy about..." she murmured faintly, peering down at him.
I-I remembered it...in vivid detail...the smell of her hair, the feel of her arms around me, her warm breath washing over my ears, the warmth of her body...I remembered how perfect it was...and how I-I'll...I'll n-never feel that again...she's gone...and she's never going to h-hug me or smile at me again...ever... he trailed off into an almost silent sob, and then clung to her, burying is face in her shoulder, trying to block out the world. She's gone, and it's not fair! I-I just want her to smile at me again! Or hug me! Or just hear her tell me that she's proud of me no matter whathappens!...nothing else matters! Can't you see?! I don't want any tomorrows! Tomorrow without her isn't worth it! A million days without her aren't worth one with her! he cried out faintly and buried his nose further into her shoulder, wailing softly against her, like a child throwing a tantrum. Don't you understand?! What's the point if she's not here with me?!
She shook her head slowly, and gently, soothingly stroked at his back, hugging him tight and just listening, letting him expend his anger before she spoke again. "It won't make sense." she murmured softly, "And trying to make sense of it won't help you in any way. You just have to move on, you have to stop being a part of the past and move onwards. Find someone new. No one will ever replace your old trainer, but perhaps someone else could help you move on?"
But I don't want to move on! I don't want to forget...and I don't want to remember either! It j-just hurts...and it never stops...this stupid, burning pain just claws at my insides constantly, and it never ceases...I-I just want it to stop...I want it to stop hurting...please...someone make it stop h-hurting... he pleaded, sobbing faintly and hugging her fiercely, his eyes clenched shut as tears ran freely, the rising sun starting to wash its light over them in soft gold tones.
D-don't go please...p-please just s-stay with me for a little while...I'll p-pay you back for this, I p-promise...but when you're hugging me like this...I-I can almost imagine...imagine that she's here again, hugging me...and it stops hurting...a little... he gave a pained sound, and she hugged him in close again, gently stroking at his back, smoothing his ears back against his skull gently, leaning down to gently, soothingly whisper to him,
"Take all the time you need..."
She hadn't seen the Lucario after an incident the previous day.
It was late in the afternoon, after they had returned to her village on the eastern side of the island. It wasn't anything big, or even really permanent, with a pokémon, a pokecentre, and a few houses. It was made, mainly, for the spring, when her entire village acceded to their nomadic origins and came to the island for a season of fishing while the Magikarp were good.
The memories were vivid to her. Every step had been a pain, and blood had soaked across her entire lower leg from the cut the Scyther had inflicted upon her. It wasn't a mortal wound, but it had hurt like hell. She had gone to the pokémart and bought the Lucario a silver bow as a way to show him that it was alright that she had gotten hurt, that she didn't hold it against him, and while she was gone, it let him acclimatise himelf to her house, where she had told him he could stay for a while, until he figured out what he was going to do.
She had presented the bow to him, in her lounge room, just holding it out with a smile.
The Lucario had taken the bow, and stared at it for the longest time, as if lost, before turning and literally fleeing the house, as if it were on fire. She hadn't seen him since, and doubted she ever would. He had seemed...emotionally unstable. The way she saw it, he probably needed to be alone.
Kat's head tilted to one side, and she listened intently. From up ahead, along the line of the rocky cliff, she could hear something. She wasn't quite sure what it was, and so she crept slowly closer, to try and figure out what it was, sidling up to a rock and peering over top of it.
It struck her then, how infernally easy it was to sneak up to someone who was in the middle of an embarrassing moment, and then how hard it was to sneak away without them realising.
The Lucario was a silhouette against the dark backdrop of the unlit ocean, the one red eye she could see in the darkness glowing like a dying coal, a glimmer of moisture tracing a path from it to the Lucario's nose, and from there, dripping into his lap. She could barely see the edge of the silver bow she had given him, sitting in his lap.
I-it seems you are destined to see me in my weakest moments... came the soft, sad mental voice of the Lucario, before she could even begin to try creeping away.
"I-I'm sorry...I didn't know you were here, honestly! I was looking for that Scyther, from yesterday, and the cliff is one of the places I haven't searched and..." she trailed off with a faint sigh. "I'll go." she murmured gently, turning away.
No! the Lucario's tone was almost needy, desperate. Stay...please... he murmured, patting the ground nearby him with a paw, head still down turned, though his tears had stopped...probably because of her.
She nodded the once, and slowly made her way over to him, sitting down on the edge of the cliff with him, with her legs over the side, not too close, but not too far away from the blue-and-black pokémon, waiting for him to speak first.
E-everything... he murmured faintly, and then paused and brushed at his eyes with the back of his paw, taking a steadying breath, Everything reminds me of her...there's a flower, in the volcano's lake...I remember she wore perfume that was made with the pollen of that same kind of flower...and every single time I smell it, I remember her hugging me, keeping me and the rest of her pokémon tight to her for warmth on cold nights when we were adventuring...But it isn't just the big things! he held his head in his paws, and gave a long sound of pain. Every time the goddamn wind passes through my fur in just the right way, I remember standing with her on a hillside, whenever I hear a bird call I remember walking with her through the forest! Everything reminds me of her, and now she's gone...a-and I'm never going to be able to do all of those things again... he made a strangled noise and then sniffled once, before drawing in a deep breath, trying to steady himself.
"I know..." she murmured, helplessly, inching a little closer to him, and then wrapping her arm around his shoulders, pulling him in close to her.
T-the bow you got me...it reminded me of her as well... he murmured faintly, leaning against her and wrapping his paws around her as if he were drowning and she were driftwood.
"I'm sorry..." she murmured, gently patting his back.
No...it wasn't your fault...everything reminds me of her. But the bow... he gave a long sigh and shook his head sadly, burying his nose in her side for comfort.
She was training me so hard... he said, shakily, before drawing in a deep breath and seeming to calm down slightly. I couldn't learn the move she wanted me to...and I tried, I tried so hard to learn it for her...but she just gave up on it. Gave up on me. She said it was alright, that I didn't need to learn the new move to be perfect in her eyes...but I wanted to! I needed to learn that move for her, to make her proud of me...And she already was proud of me! I was just too young and stupid to see that. She was proud of me for trying...she didn't care if I could do it or not, she didn't care one way or the other, but it mattered to me, I wanted to learn that move for her...and so I trained in secret. Every night, I would sneak out, and practice... he shook his head gently, and stared down at his lap, his tail giving a weak little flick.
And then we had this battle...it was against a really, really strong pokémon. A Venusaur. It had been trained so well...there was just nothing the other pokémon could do against it, and she let me out as a last resort. I was the last pokémon she had left out of the six, and she told me later that she sent me out last because she didn't want me to get hurt...but I had trained, I'd trained for her, I'd learn the Flame Punch she tried to teach me, and when I used it on that Venusaur and beat it with a single move...she was so proud of me... silent tears were coursing down the pokémons muzzle again, splashing into her lap, and he had to stop as his voice broke, and he was unable to continue.
...She took me to the pokémart afterwards, after she had healed the rest of her pokémon...she let me walk there, out of the pokéball, and she was smiling at me...t-that sweet smile of hers...she took me in there, and told me I could have anything in the shop, anything I wanted at all...but I just said something stupid and sweet to her...I don't even remember what it was, something like, 'All I ever want is for you to be my trainer'...and she was just so happy at that moment...she got me that silver bow right afterwards, and as she tied it on, she told me it was a special sign from her...a sign that she would always be my trainer, and my friend...and then she hugged me...and the entire world seemed to just...stop...and I was so happy at that moment...she was proud of me, and that was all I ever wanted!
Tears were now splashing readily into her lap, and she continued to gently pat at his back, as soothingly as she could, rocking him a little back and forth.
W-when you gave me this silver bow, I-I remember that moment... he murmured softly, staring down at the slightly-moist, and now fairly dirty silver bow that was sitting in his lap.
"But that's something to be happy about..." she murmured faintly, peering down at him.
I-I remembered it...in vivid detail...the smell of her hair, the feel of her arms around me, her warm breath washing over my ears, the warmth of her body...I remembered how perfect it was...and how I-I'll...I'll n-never feel that again...she's gone...and she's never going to h-hug me or smile at me again...ever... he trailed off into an almost silent sob, and then clung to her, burying is face in her shoulder, trying to block out the world. She's gone, and it's not fair! I-I just want her to smile at me again! Or hug me! Or just hear her tell me that she's proud of me no matter whathappens!...nothing else matters! Can't you see?! I don't want any tomorrows! Tomorrow without her isn't worth it! A million days without her aren't worth one with her! he cried out faintly and buried his nose further into her shoulder, wailing softly against her, like a child throwing a tantrum. Don't you understand?! What's the point if she's not here with me?!
She shook her head slowly, and gently, soothingly stroked at his back, hugging him tight and just listening, letting him expend his anger before she spoke again. "It won't make sense." she murmured softly, "And trying to make sense of it won't help you in any way. You just have to move on, you have to stop being a part of the past and move onwards. Find someone new. No one will ever replace your old trainer, but perhaps someone else could help you move on?"
But I don't want to move on! I don't want to forget...and I don't want to remember either! It j-just hurts...and it never stops...this stupid, burning pain just claws at my insides constantly, and it never ceases...I-I just want it to stop...I want it to stop hurting...please...someone make it stop h-hurting... he pleaded, sobbing faintly and hugging her fiercely, his eyes clenched shut as tears ran freely, the rising sun starting to wash its light over them in soft gold tones.
D-don't go please...p-please just s-stay with me for a little while...I'll p-pay you back for this, I p-promise...but when you're hugging me like this...I-I can almost imagine...imagine that she's here again, hugging me...and it stops hurting...a little... he gave a pained sound, and she hugged him in close again, gently stroking at his back, smoothing his ears back against his skull gently, leaning down to gently, soothingly whisper to him,
"Take all the time you need..."