Story Notes:
Im starting to rewrite it, so if it contradicts itself at times, its because i havent gotten to that chapter yet. chapters with the word 'rewrite' at the end have been rewriten.
Amnesia?-Chapter Two: Names and Love- Rewrite
It had been several hours since the human had fainted, and dawn would be only an hour or two away. The mew was starting to worry about the human; what if he never woke up? What if he hated her? When she had first seen him, she had been impressed that he could be so selfless as to sacrifice himself for his pokemon, and over the time he had been awake, she had grown very fond of him, thanks to reading his mind. Her brooding was interrupted by the human, who woke with a groan. As she hovered above him, the mew realized for the second time that he was almost entirely naked, and he cheeks turned scarlet.
The human interrupted her thoughts a second time, this time by his voice. "Are you...a mew?" he asked.
She looked down at his face and said, "Of course!" she said, "And you're rather cute for a human." She only said this last bit because she forgot that he could understand her. When she remembered, which was the second the words were out of her mouth, she slapped her forehead repeatedly with her front paw, calling herself an idiot for being so forward.
The human grabbed her paw as she was about to swing it again, saying, "Whoa, hold it! You don't want to hurt that cute face do you?"
The feline paused for a second as she processed what the human had just said. When she looked up, her eyes seemed to sparkle. "Do you really think I'm cute?" she asked.
"Of course!" he answered, and then paused for a second, "But why wouldn't I be able to understand you? You're speaking plain English."
"No I'm not; you're hearing my language as your own for some reason or another," she said, "But thank you. Do you have a name? I don't want to keep calling you 'human' all the time. It seems kinda derogatory."
At this, the human's face took on a more sober look, and he said, "Probably, but I lost my memory somehow, and if I do, I don't know what it is. But do you? I don't want to call you 'mew' all the time. It seems kind of... I dunno generic. Not like you." This last part was whispered.
"No, I don't." The mew thought for a second about the dilemma. Neither of them had a name, and neither of them wanted to call the other by their species. After a few seconds of thinking, an idea popped into her head, and she figured, why not?
"Why don't you name me and I'll name you?" she suggested, already forming an idea as to what she'd name him.
"Why not?" he replied, mimicking her thoughts, "But you go first."
"How do you like...Blaze?" she asked.
The human thought about it for a second. When he recalled the flame that had encased his now burnt hand, he brought it up to his eyes, only to see the last flicker of a cerulean flame vanish, leaving it completely undamaged. If you consider the situation, it shouldn't come as a shock to learn he wasn't very surprised. "I love it," he said, "it fits, in any case."
His answer filled her with a joyful pride. Now, what would he name her?
She didn't have to wait long to find out. Blaze thought for only a moment before noticing the color of her fur, and an idea just popped into his head. "How do you like 'Sakura'?" he asked, "In Japanese, it means cherry blossom."
Understandably, she was confused. Having never seen a cherry blossom before, she had no idea why he had chosen that. When she voiced this, he simply replied, "Because you're pink and beautiful, like a sakura." Blaze turned his head to the side slightly after this, trying to hide his slight blush. He could not believe he'd just said that!
"I like it," she said, but paused for a second. "But if you think I'm beautiful, why'd you push me away before?"
Blaze mumbled something she couldn't quite hear, turning his head away.
"What?" Sakura demanded. She wasn't sure what she was feeling; it seemed to be something between anger, sadness, and fear.
"I was nervous, and you put your paw on my balls ok?" he almost shouted.
"Was that all?" Sakura almost laughed and cried at the same time. She was worried he might have hated her for a second. She leaned forward and said, "So...do you want to pick up where we left off?" She didn't wait for a response before she pressed her lips to his and kissed him fiercely.
After flailing from surprise at the beginning, Blaze returned the kiss. For an uncounted number of minutes, they just lay there kissing. Blaze would never have guessed that a mouth could taste so nice, or that a tongue could be so pleasant. The kiss was finally broken after a blissful eternity by Sakura, when she needed to breathe more than the small gasps between passionate tongue-dancing. When she sat up, panting, she felt something rub against her back, something that wasn't there before. She looked back and gasped; standing before her, proud and erect, was Blaze's six inch member. All she could think was, "Holy shit! I-it's HUGE!"
Apparently Blaze noticed as well, but his reaction was far from similar to hers. Instead of staring at anything, let alone his phallus, he went scarlet and looked away, as though wishing to be anywhere else. Sakura thought it was kind of cute. When at last she managed to catch his gaze, her eyes told him what she wanted.
"Woah, hold on a second," he said, "We just met. Maybe we should, you know, get to know each other first."
"But I...I..." She couldn't say what she felt, so she sealed her lips to his again, trying to show how she felt.
Her plan worked, though not the way she intended. As her tongue met his, she unconsciously initiated a psychic link to his mind, through which her feelings flowed. Unfortunately, memories of the previous day also showed themselves, and among those was the memory of when she first saw him. Blaze suddenly broke the kiss and moved away.
Sakura looked to see where he had gone, and saw him crouching in the sand no more than a meter away, gripping his head as if in agonizing pain, his eyes filled with confusion and terror. "What am I?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, his voice reflecting the emotions in his eyes.
Sakura went over to him and pulled him into a gentle hug. She said nothing, but tried to soothe him with her presence.
Not wanting to be comforted at the moment, Blaze pulled out of the hug and said, "I just remembered how I reveled in their slaughter. I am not worthy of you, I am a monster, nothing more than a mur-," Sakura cut him off with a slap before he could finish the word.
"Don't you dare call yourself a murderer," she said, "If you were a monster, you wouldn't have helped the mightyanna before. You would have just left it there to die." Only now did she notice the connection and cut it, but it was too late and she knew it.
"You were watching me? Back then?" Blaze asked, confusion dominating his voice now.
"Yes, I've been watching you ever since the ship blew up. I-I'm sorry for spying on you, but I didn't want to interrupt you before you settled down a bit," said Sakura, "You seemed to know what you were doing, and I didn't want to get in the way."
"Ok...um...this is a surprise," said Blaze awkwardly. He had no clue how to respond to that.
Sakura immediately became worried. "You're not angry...are you?"
"No, no," he said quickly, "Just... I'm not sure how I feel, to be honest."
Sakura moved closer and kissed him again. When their lips parted, she asked, "How about now? Still not sure?"
Blaze was sure now. He felt... warm when ever she was close, and that warmth turned into a fire whenever they touched. When she was with him, everything felt RIGHT. He didn't care if it was because he was lonely, he loved her, of that he was sure. He grabbed the back of her head and gently pulled her down on top of him as he lay back down in the sand, and pulled her forward into a passionate kiss. Over the several minutes that they just lay there, kissing, Blaze's erection, which had all but disappeared, returned with a vengence, but he was too focused on Sakura to notice. In the end, it was Sakura who noticed, but only when she felt it bump against her tail. She looked back, and froze in surprise; it seemed to be even bigger than before! She felt her arousal, which had been slowly building with the kiss, suddenly skyrocket, and she shuddered in need. One look into Blaze's eyes told her that he wouldn't resist this time, so without another word, she began.
Sakura turned around so that Blaze's phallus was directly in front of her. Unsure how else to begin, and just downright curious about the organ, she poked it, and got a twitch in response. Curious, she poked it again, and got another twitch in response. The third time, she accidentally hit the head, and got a gasp and a spurt of a clear fluid as a result. When she realized that the reaction had been induced by pleasure, Sakura leaned in close and sniffed the fluid, before hesitantly licking it off, finding she enjoyed the taste. As Blaze once again gasped, Sakura recalled a time she had accidentally stumbled on a pair of pokemon mating. The female had put her mouth over the male and sucked until he filled her mouth with a creamy, white fluid. It had looked like the male had enjoyed it, so she decided to try it with Blaze.
She slowly opened her mouth and lined it up with the tip of Blaze's member before engulfing it. She got about four inches in before the tip began to make her gag by hitting the back of her throat. At the sensation, Blaze had to claw at the sand to stop himself from pushing her head down farther. When she started sucking, he gasped again, and nearly came right there, but somehow he managed to hold on. It was only a minute or so longer before Blaze felt something rising, and his hips bucked instinctively, forcing his member slightly down Sakura's throat. She gagged and was pulling off to ask what the big idea was, but found out anyways, as Blaze let loose as he hit orgasm, sending sticky ropes of his cum into her mouth. When it first hit her tongue, she cringed at the slightly bitter taste, but after a few seconds, she found it to be strangely pleasant, despite the bitterness, and she eagerly swallowed all the fluid he gave, even sucking him a bit afterwards just in case there was some left in his spent shaft. When she was done, Blaze collapsed to the ground limply. When he caught his breath, he said, shakily, "S-sorry. I should have warned you, but my voice wasn't working. Sorry."
Sakura thought for a second before responding. "If you really want to apologize," she said, "you can eat me out. Do you know what that means?" She knew he did, since she had gotten it from his mind, which she had examined to see if he'd enjoyed her treatment when he collapsed, but she didn't particularly feel like explaining that to him. As she knew he would, Blaze nodded, so she turned around to present her extremely wet sex to him. He grabbed her hips and hesitated only a second before tentatively licking her labia. At the sudden spike of pleasure, Sakura wouldn't have held back her moan if she could have, and she pushed her hips back, trying to get Blaze to continue.
Blaze heard her moan, and found the sweet taste of her fluids to be inconceivably delicious, so when she pushed back, he wasted no time. He inserted his tongue and pulled her hips back to his lips. He then began sucking as he massaged her walls with his tongue, trying both to pleasure her and get as much of that delightful taste as he could. He knew he was succeeding at both of these goals, because every couple of seconds, Sakura would shiver and moan in delight as he hit a sensitive spot, and was panting in between these moments. It wasn't long before she pushed back against his face and filled his mouth with her fluids, which he was ecstatic to swallow. He thought he heard her scream in delight, but he couldn't be sure, as he was concentrating on the incredible taste in his mouth. When he had swallowed all she had to give, he leaned back and flipped her around so they were face to face again, before pulling her into a passionate kiss, made all the more interesting by the exchange of each other's juices. When they broke apart, desire was clear in her eyes. He knew what it was for, and he was sure his eyes mirrored hers.
By unspoken consent, Sakura moved down and positioned herself above Blaze's phallus. Just as she was about to plunge down, she remembered something her mother had told her. Apparently it would hurt a lot at first, possibly more than anything she had felt before. Blaze noticed her hesitation, and said, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
Sakura felt almost guilty. She wasn't the only one who was receiving pleasure, after all, yet she had hesitated. "Sorry," she said, "It's just, my mother told me it would hurt at first."
"Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop if you're scared." His words only made her feel worse. He was so caring, and she was letting fear get in the way of returning his kindness. It was infuriating!
"I'm sure," she said, "But would you mind starting? I-I'm a little bit nervous, but i can manage. She said it would fade quickly." Blaze nodded, and grabbed her hips. As her sex met his tip, he nearly slammed her all the way down, but forced himself to go slow. He had only gone a couple inches in when he felt a barrier, and saw Sakura flinch in pain. She caught his eye and nodded, thinking, "Mom, if you're wrong or lied to me about this, I'll kill you." The instant she finished that thought, Blaze quickly pushed her down, breaking the barrier in an instant. To him, it felt like the barrier just gave, but to Sakura, it felt like someone had just gone and flayed her vagina. As the tears welled up in her eyes, however the pain was already fading, and when Blaze hilted shortly after, it went away almost instantly, and was replaced by pleasure that was greater than she had thought possible. He was so big, he filled her completely, and she loved the way it felt.
She gave him the ok, and he lifted her up until only his head remained inside, and pushed back down slowly, watching for any sign of pain or discomfort. When he got none, he began going faster, and faster until he was going as fast as his arms could move. Sakura felt laughter bubbling up inside her and began giggling for a minute before she began laughing uncontrollably. It felt so GOOD! The knowledge that he was making her feel this good made Blaze happier, and made the pleasure he was receiving seem that much better. They kept at it for several, blissful minutes, wishing it could continue forever.
But all things, good or bad, must come to an end, whether we want them to or not. At the end, Sakura came with a scream that could not be confused with one of pain as Blaze pushed into her one last time, going deeper than ever before as he pushed her down as hard as he could, and came himself with a loud moan. As they collapsed and wrapped each other in a tender embrace, Blaze found that he could not pull out, and their fluids did nothing to help while they were trapped deep within Sakura, unable to escape the grip her walls had on Blaze's member, and giving Sakura the feeling that she was being stretched to her limits, which she loved. This served to make them feel even closer, and they soon fell asleep in each other's arms, identical smiles on their faces.
Far above, a second mew had watched the whole spectacle, unseen and unheard. As the two lovers fell into a blissful, dreamless sleep, she asked the air, "Oh, daughter, what have you gotten yourself into?"Chapter End Notes:rate, review, all that stuff. i need to know how i'm doing to improve
The human interrupted her thoughts a second time, this time by his voice. "Are you...a mew?" he asked.
She looked down at his face and said, "Of course!" she said, "And you're rather cute for a human." She only said this last bit because she forgot that he could understand her. When she remembered, which was the second the words were out of her mouth, she slapped her forehead repeatedly with her front paw, calling herself an idiot for being so forward.
The human grabbed her paw as she was about to swing it again, saying, "Whoa, hold it! You don't want to hurt that cute face do you?"
The feline paused for a second as she processed what the human had just said. When she looked up, her eyes seemed to sparkle. "Do you really think I'm cute?" she asked.
"Of course!" he answered, and then paused for a second, "But why wouldn't I be able to understand you? You're speaking plain English."
"No I'm not; you're hearing my language as your own for some reason or another," she said, "But thank you. Do you have a name? I don't want to keep calling you 'human' all the time. It seems kinda derogatory."
At this, the human's face took on a more sober look, and he said, "Probably, but I lost my memory somehow, and if I do, I don't know what it is. But do you? I don't want to call you 'mew' all the time. It seems kind of... I dunno generic. Not like you." This last part was whispered.
"No, I don't." The mew thought for a second about the dilemma. Neither of them had a name, and neither of them wanted to call the other by their species. After a few seconds of thinking, an idea popped into her head, and she figured, why not?
"Why don't you name me and I'll name you?" she suggested, already forming an idea as to what she'd name him.
"Why not?" he replied, mimicking her thoughts, "But you go first."
"How do you like...Blaze?" she asked.
The human thought about it for a second. When he recalled the flame that had encased his now burnt hand, he brought it up to his eyes, only to see the last flicker of a cerulean flame vanish, leaving it completely undamaged. If you consider the situation, it shouldn't come as a shock to learn he wasn't very surprised. "I love it," he said, "it fits, in any case."
His answer filled her with a joyful pride. Now, what would he name her?
She didn't have to wait long to find out. Blaze thought for only a moment before noticing the color of her fur, and an idea just popped into his head. "How do you like 'Sakura'?" he asked, "In Japanese, it means cherry blossom."
Understandably, she was confused. Having never seen a cherry blossom before, she had no idea why he had chosen that. When she voiced this, he simply replied, "Because you're pink and beautiful, like a sakura." Blaze turned his head to the side slightly after this, trying to hide his slight blush. He could not believe he'd just said that!
"I like it," she said, but paused for a second. "But if you think I'm beautiful, why'd you push me away before?"
Blaze mumbled something she couldn't quite hear, turning his head away.
"What?" Sakura demanded. She wasn't sure what she was feeling; it seemed to be something between anger, sadness, and fear.
"I was nervous, and you put your paw on my balls ok?" he almost shouted.
"Was that all?" Sakura almost laughed and cried at the same time. She was worried he might have hated her for a second. She leaned forward and said, "So...do you want to pick up where we left off?" She didn't wait for a response before she pressed her lips to his and kissed him fiercely.
After flailing from surprise at the beginning, Blaze returned the kiss. For an uncounted number of minutes, they just lay there kissing. Blaze would never have guessed that a mouth could taste so nice, or that a tongue could be so pleasant. The kiss was finally broken after a blissful eternity by Sakura, when she needed to breathe more than the small gasps between passionate tongue-dancing. When she sat up, panting, she felt something rub against her back, something that wasn't there before. She looked back and gasped; standing before her, proud and erect, was Blaze's six inch member. All she could think was, "Holy shit! I-it's HUGE!"
Apparently Blaze noticed as well, but his reaction was far from similar to hers. Instead of staring at anything, let alone his phallus, he went scarlet and looked away, as though wishing to be anywhere else. Sakura thought it was kind of cute. When at last she managed to catch his gaze, her eyes told him what she wanted.
"Woah, hold on a second," he said, "We just met. Maybe we should, you know, get to know each other first."
"But I...I..." She couldn't say what she felt, so she sealed her lips to his again, trying to show how she felt.
Her plan worked, though not the way she intended. As her tongue met his, she unconsciously initiated a psychic link to his mind, through which her feelings flowed. Unfortunately, memories of the previous day also showed themselves, and among those was the memory of when she first saw him. Blaze suddenly broke the kiss and moved away.
Sakura looked to see where he had gone, and saw him crouching in the sand no more than a meter away, gripping his head as if in agonizing pain, his eyes filled with confusion and terror. "What am I?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, his voice reflecting the emotions in his eyes.
Sakura went over to him and pulled him into a gentle hug. She said nothing, but tried to soothe him with her presence.
Not wanting to be comforted at the moment, Blaze pulled out of the hug and said, "I just remembered how I reveled in their slaughter. I am not worthy of you, I am a monster, nothing more than a mur-," Sakura cut him off with a slap before he could finish the word.
"Don't you dare call yourself a murderer," she said, "If you were a monster, you wouldn't have helped the mightyanna before. You would have just left it there to die." Only now did she notice the connection and cut it, but it was too late and she knew it.
"You were watching me? Back then?" Blaze asked, confusion dominating his voice now.
"Yes, I've been watching you ever since the ship blew up. I-I'm sorry for spying on you, but I didn't want to interrupt you before you settled down a bit," said Sakura, "You seemed to know what you were doing, and I didn't want to get in the way."
"Ok...um...this is a surprise," said Blaze awkwardly. He had no clue how to respond to that.
Sakura immediately became worried. "You're not angry...are you?"
"No, no," he said quickly, "Just... I'm not sure how I feel, to be honest."
Sakura moved closer and kissed him again. When their lips parted, she asked, "How about now? Still not sure?"
Blaze was sure now. He felt... warm when ever she was close, and that warmth turned into a fire whenever they touched. When she was with him, everything felt RIGHT. He didn't care if it was because he was lonely, he loved her, of that he was sure. He grabbed the back of her head and gently pulled her down on top of him as he lay back down in the sand, and pulled her forward into a passionate kiss. Over the several minutes that they just lay there, kissing, Blaze's erection, which had all but disappeared, returned with a vengence, but he was too focused on Sakura to notice. In the end, it was Sakura who noticed, but only when she felt it bump against her tail. She looked back, and froze in surprise; it seemed to be even bigger than before! She felt her arousal, which had been slowly building with the kiss, suddenly skyrocket, and she shuddered in need. One look into Blaze's eyes told her that he wouldn't resist this time, so without another word, she began.
Sakura turned around so that Blaze's phallus was directly in front of her. Unsure how else to begin, and just downright curious about the organ, she poked it, and got a twitch in response. Curious, she poked it again, and got another twitch in response. The third time, she accidentally hit the head, and got a gasp and a spurt of a clear fluid as a result. When she realized that the reaction had been induced by pleasure, Sakura leaned in close and sniffed the fluid, before hesitantly licking it off, finding she enjoyed the taste. As Blaze once again gasped, Sakura recalled a time she had accidentally stumbled on a pair of pokemon mating. The female had put her mouth over the male and sucked until he filled her mouth with a creamy, white fluid. It had looked like the male had enjoyed it, so she decided to try it with Blaze.
She slowly opened her mouth and lined it up with the tip of Blaze's member before engulfing it. She got about four inches in before the tip began to make her gag by hitting the back of her throat. At the sensation, Blaze had to claw at the sand to stop himself from pushing her head down farther. When she started sucking, he gasped again, and nearly came right there, but somehow he managed to hold on. It was only a minute or so longer before Blaze felt something rising, and his hips bucked instinctively, forcing his member slightly down Sakura's throat. She gagged and was pulling off to ask what the big idea was, but found out anyways, as Blaze let loose as he hit orgasm, sending sticky ropes of his cum into her mouth. When it first hit her tongue, she cringed at the slightly bitter taste, but after a few seconds, she found it to be strangely pleasant, despite the bitterness, and she eagerly swallowed all the fluid he gave, even sucking him a bit afterwards just in case there was some left in his spent shaft. When she was done, Blaze collapsed to the ground limply. When he caught his breath, he said, shakily, "S-sorry. I should have warned you, but my voice wasn't working. Sorry."
Sakura thought for a second before responding. "If you really want to apologize," she said, "you can eat me out. Do you know what that means?" She knew he did, since she had gotten it from his mind, which she had examined to see if he'd enjoyed her treatment when he collapsed, but she didn't particularly feel like explaining that to him. As she knew he would, Blaze nodded, so she turned around to present her extremely wet sex to him. He grabbed her hips and hesitated only a second before tentatively licking her labia. At the sudden spike of pleasure, Sakura wouldn't have held back her moan if she could have, and she pushed her hips back, trying to get Blaze to continue.
Blaze heard her moan, and found the sweet taste of her fluids to be inconceivably delicious, so when she pushed back, he wasted no time. He inserted his tongue and pulled her hips back to his lips. He then began sucking as he massaged her walls with his tongue, trying both to pleasure her and get as much of that delightful taste as he could. He knew he was succeeding at both of these goals, because every couple of seconds, Sakura would shiver and moan in delight as he hit a sensitive spot, and was panting in between these moments. It wasn't long before she pushed back against his face and filled his mouth with her fluids, which he was ecstatic to swallow. He thought he heard her scream in delight, but he couldn't be sure, as he was concentrating on the incredible taste in his mouth. When he had swallowed all she had to give, he leaned back and flipped her around so they were face to face again, before pulling her into a passionate kiss, made all the more interesting by the exchange of each other's juices. When they broke apart, desire was clear in her eyes. He knew what it was for, and he was sure his eyes mirrored hers.
By unspoken consent, Sakura moved down and positioned herself above Blaze's phallus. Just as she was about to plunge down, she remembered something her mother had told her. Apparently it would hurt a lot at first, possibly more than anything she had felt before. Blaze noticed her hesitation, and said, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
Sakura felt almost guilty. She wasn't the only one who was receiving pleasure, after all, yet she had hesitated. "Sorry," she said, "It's just, my mother told me it would hurt at first."
"Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop if you're scared." His words only made her feel worse. He was so caring, and she was letting fear get in the way of returning his kindness. It was infuriating!
"I'm sure," she said, "But would you mind starting? I-I'm a little bit nervous, but i can manage. She said it would fade quickly." Blaze nodded, and grabbed her hips. As her sex met his tip, he nearly slammed her all the way down, but forced himself to go slow. He had only gone a couple inches in when he felt a barrier, and saw Sakura flinch in pain. She caught his eye and nodded, thinking, "Mom, if you're wrong or lied to me about this, I'll kill you." The instant she finished that thought, Blaze quickly pushed her down, breaking the barrier in an instant. To him, it felt like the barrier just gave, but to Sakura, it felt like someone had just gone and flayed her vagina. As the tears welled up in her eyes, however the pain was already fading, and when Blaze hilted shortly after, it went away almost instantly, and was replaced by pleasure that was greater than she had thought possible. He was so big, he filled her completely, and she loved the way it felt.
She gave him the ok, and he lifted her up until only his head remained inside, and pushed back down slowly, watching for any sign of pain or discomfort. When he got none, he began going faster, and faster until he was going as fast as his arms could move. Sakura felt laughter bubbling up inside her and began giggling for a minute before she began laughing uncontrollably. It felt so GOOD! The knowledge that he was making her feel this good made Blaze happier, and made the pleasure he was receiving seem that much better. They kept at it for several, blissful minutes, wishing it could continue forever.
But all things, good or bad, must come to an end, whether we want them to or not. At the end, Sakura came with a scream that could not be confused with one of pain as Blaze pushed into her one last time, going deeper than ever before as he pushed her down as hard as he could, and came himself with a loud moan. As they collapsed and wrapped each other in a tender embrace, Blaze found that he could not pull out, and their fluids did nothing to help while they were trapped deep within Sakura, unable to escape the grip her walls had on Blaze's member, and giving Sakura the feeling that she was being stretched to her limits, which she loved. This served to make them feel even closer, and they soon fell asleep in each other's arms, identical smiles on their faces.
Far above, a second mew had watched the whole spectacle, unseen and unheard. As the two lovers fell into a blissful, dreamless sleep, she asked the air, "Oh, daughter, what have you gotten yourself into?"Chapter End Notes:rate, review, all that stuff. i need to know how i'm doing to improve