AGNPH Stories

Tempestas et Stringere by Bébinn Heffernan


Story Notes:

Sorry for the long absence; I've had a lot of things to do, a massive amount of writer's block recently (The latest Karistaa Usko chapter's presently in Limbo), and a complete overhaul of my mythos, so I decided to do one more in the general Pokemon universe. As the July contest inspired me a bit to write this chapter, it's a contest entry (or, at the very least, Nowhere and Everywhere is since I'm not certain how long this inspiration will hold).As usual: Pikachu, Pokémon, Mother et al. are the property of Nintendo. The characters are mine, as is the plot.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Chapter 3:
Out of the Mouths of Babes

*)June 20, 2009(*

We make our first field report today after gaining the trust of the storm's leader (or, as they prefer to call him, the "kabaka") and its bourgeoisie ("omulosi"). They have assured us (thru machine-assisted translation) that they shall not harm us provided we do not jeopardize their liberty or reveal the exact location of their storm, so I am scrambling this message to make it impossible to pick up via GPS.
This storm is far more immense than the historical record would have us believe. The storm easily numbers in the hundreds, almost the thousands, with nineteen Raichu running herd over two hundred and ninety-eight Pikachu and easily double that number of Pichu. There have been murmurs of adding two more Pikachu to the ranks of the omulosi, but so far the kabaka, whom has the final say (and a tiebreaker vote in the oligarchic assemblies) has not said when the next promotion (which occurs when Pikachu are sent in to retrieve a Thunderstone from the foot of Mount Silver) will take place. I suspect he has other things weighing on his mind, not least myself or my comrade.
We will transmit every Saturday, so please have someone in the radio room manning the receiver.

With respect,
Lori Tanner

*)June 25, 2009 - 09:13(*

"Raichu Rai."

Lori rubbed her side, still unaccustomed to sleeping on leaves, and stretched out, yawning. She wasn't wearing her costume, having put it in her knapsack (which Nicolau had three Pikachu bring in to her on the 17th). She looked at the Chu whom woke her, and looked into the eyes of the omulosi she originally met.

"yawwwn... Good morning, Chausiku," mumbled Lori as she stood up and reached for her knapsack, only to find it not there. She turned around to see Chausiku handing it to her, the knapsack hidden behind a stump so that the Pikachu wouldn't disturb it. She quickly put it back on, shaking her head from the sudden transition from human to Raichu, still not used to the disguise. "What's going on today?"

"You've got Pika duty," said Chausiku. "Pika duty" meant that Lori was assigned to keep an eye on the Pikachu and Pichu not leaving the storm to forage. This was her first Pika duty.

"Erm... how does one do Pika duty?" Lori asked. "I don't exactly have the maternal or paternal instincts of an actual Raichu."

"Simply, an omulosi on Pika duty is there to watch the Pikachu and make sure they don't kill each other. This means putting down fights as they happen, calming down rambunctious Pichu, and affording breeding Pikachu some privacy."

"Are the Pikachu going to bother me?" she asked. Two days prior, a Pikachu had grabbed Eoin's tail and pantomimed humping it, which led to Eoin deliberately grounding into him and stunning him. Since then, Pikachu and Pichu kept catcalling him and throwing cucumber-like berries at him, usually gnawed in such a way as to attack him as a tailraiser and a bastard.

"Eoin electrocuted one in self-defense," noted Chausiku, crossing her arms. "So long as they recognize that you aren't Eoin, they shouldn't be mocking you."

Lori looked down at Chausiku. "Any pointers for me?"


"Hey, Queen!"

"Faggot, over here!"

"Someone call the Ponyta doctor, Nicolau'll want one next!"

Eoin grimaced and threatened the Chu with electrical sparks on his cheeks, causing them to scatter away, giggling maniacally. He, too, had Pika duty.

"Don't get too ticked. That's just going to give them more ammo to throw at you." The omulosi that said this, named Themba, barked a warning at them, but this didn't stop the Pikachu from taunting Eoin, with two male Pikachu even going so far as to have sex with each other in front of Eoin, one of whom had an unflattering gray tinge on his tail. Themba broke those two up. "Cease!" he growled.

Eoin was embarrassed beneath his costume, unconsciously willing his tail to cover the anal slit in his costume. He started trying to psych himself up to discipline the Pikachu, but he could not find the mental wherewithal to do it. "I'm not sure I'm cut out for this," he said to Themba.

"It takes some time to get used to," he acknowledged. "Pikachu and Pichu can be absolute terrors, especially towards new omulosi."

"So I'm not the first one to be harassed like this?" Eoin asked. He took up a nearby willow branch and tanned a Pikachu pantomiming fellatio in front of him.

"Not the first, nor the last," replied Themba. He broke up a fight between two Pikachu over a Sitrus berry.

Another Pikachu air-orgasmed in front of Eoin, but before Eoin could react that Chu was jumped by a Pikachu Eoin recognized as the one he'd originally chased to the storm. "Back offa him! You wouldn't do the same things if it were two gay Pikachu, now would you!?" she hissed.

Eoin knelt down. "Thank you," he said to the Pikachu.

"No problem... You're Eoin, aren't you?" asked Tsholofelo.

"I am..." The blush beneath his costume reddened.

Tish implored Eoin to get on all fours, which he did with great difficulty due to the costume. Once down, she put her cheek a few inches away from his, sparks quickly flying between the two, a form of formal identification amongst the Chu. Eoin nodded and stood back up. "She's told me about you... Aren't you Tsholofelo?"

"Just 'Tish', please," she replied. She then turned to Themba. "Sir, could you leave us two alone?"

"With pleasure, Tish," came the reply. He moved away, over to a large-scale scrap between three Pikachu over a petty disagreement.

Eoin looked at Tish. "What's this about?" he asked.

"Well, first things first, the rumors..."

Since word got out Eoin was living with Nicolau, rumors had been flying that they were an item and/or that Nicolau was planning or had already performed a private mating ceremony (an event in the storm's tradition roughly equivalent to marriage), and that Eoin was his submissive partner.

"We only bred once, and even then I was raped," came the reply. "He's not planning on marrying me anytime soon."

"So the rumors are false?" asked Tish.

"Yup," nodded Eoin. "If anything, I'd sooner kick the kabaka in the groin than accept his advances."

"What about other Chu?" asked Tish.

"I'm a human," laughed Eoin. "While I will admit to preferring males, I'm not going to be having sex with anything that's not human, at least, not so long as I have a say in the issue."

Tish looked over Eoin's face for deception, and found none. "You're an honest guy."

"Sometimes painfully so," Eoin admitted. "One time, I told someone what happened during a fight at the University and three hours later I was being curb-stomped by his fraternity."

"University?" asked Tish. "What's that?"

"It's a place where humans go to drink beer, have sex, and study, in that order," said Eoin.


The next fifteen minutes were spent educating Tish on some of the less finer points of human culture, such as getting drunk, hopping into cars, and getting shot at by 9mm handguns. When Eoin was about to explain what a "bullet" is, Lori came up.

"Oh! Hi, Lori!" said Tish, waving to her. Lori waved back and walked up to Eoin.

"You're not starting to believe the rumors, are you?" complained Eoin.

"Not at all, just wanted to make sure the Pikachu weren't harassing you," was the reassuring response. "I'm a bit late for that, though, aren't I?" Eoin nodded solemnly.

Lori opened her mouth to speak, when Tish said, to Eoin, "So how was it?"

Eoin looked like he'd been shot, and looked down at the Pikachu. "Tish, how old are you?"


Doing some quick mental math, Lori replied, "You should know better, being as old as you are!"

"Yeah, Tish, do you really want to make me relive that night of torture?" complained Eoin, the look on his face turning to one of embarrassment. "That still gives me nightmares, especially since we have to share a bed!"

"Just tell me, in one word, how was it?" replied Tish. Eoin looked like he'd been shot, and excused himself.

Lori turned to look at Tish. "Look, I don't know what your plan is, but it's really putting stress on him that he doesn't need. Please, for his sake, don't ask him about that night."

"Does he answer your questions about it?" asked Tish.

"If by 'answer' you mean focusing on making notes in his notebook, yes," said Lori.

Silence between the two for a bit. Then, Tish replied. "I think those two would make a good couple."

It was Lori's turn to be stunned. "What?!"

"I think the Kabaka and Eoin would make a loving mated pair. There, I said it!" the Pikachu said, stamping her foot. "It's not the first time I've..."

Lori interrupted her, her tone turning altogether more harsh. "So you're the one who spread that rumor!"

"No!" said Tish. "The only ones I've told are the omulosi, and they all just ignored me!"

"Loose lips sink ships," replied Lori. "Some of them didn't, and now Eoin's being tortured daily by the other Pikachu because of it!"

"No, Lori, you don't understand! The whole storm thinks I'm a liar!" Tears were starting to run down Tish's face. "The fact that I saw you two and fled didn't help matters at all! I'm trying to tell the truth here, and all they think of me as is 'tree-scared Tish!'"

Lori realized she was in over her head here, and motioned for another omulosi to help her. One did, a rather lean specimen by the name of Dubaku stepped in. He had a scar running down the right side of his face, and one of his ears was badly mangled.

"What do you need, Lori?" he asked, bowing.

"I want you to take us someplace private. I want to talk to her."

"I think I know just the place," said Dubaku. "May I know what this is about?"

"Eoin," came the curt reply.

Dubaku's face soured, though Lori did not know why. "Very well."

*)Latrine glade - 09:31(*

Tish and Lori were led to a private omulosi latrine, and were afforded privacy by Dubaku, whom shut the ivy curtain once they were in far enough to be overheard. "Alright, Tish, we're safe here. Talk to me."

"A-are you going to h-hurt me?" said Tish, fighting back tears.

"Not at all," Lori said reassuringly. "I want to know why you think Eoin and Nicolau are perfect for each other, and which omulosi you've told."

Tish wiped her eyes clean, and took a few minutes to regain her composure. Nevertheless, her eyes were still red. "Kabaka just seems to want to help Eoin out."

"He does that with the other omulosi, however, doesn't he?" asked Lori.

"Not in this way," said Tish. "Eoin's been granted access to the Kabaka's own private places, a privilege even the omulosi do not get. He's even been shown the hot spring where the Kabaka relaxes..."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hot spring?" asked Lori.

Tish nods. "I've been in that area before. It's off the path towards the base of Mt. Silver, where Pikachu collect thunder stones and become part of the omulosi. I've seen Eoin take advantage of it, always alone."

"Have you heard Eoin and the Kabaka... having sex?" asked Lori, phrasing the question to avoid using the term "breeding", which she'd found was too closely linked with marital sex.

"No," said Lori. "I have heard them argue about it, however. Eoin doesn't seem to like the Kabaka's juices inside his body."

Equating "juices" with "semen", Lori sighed. Eoin was doing everything in his power to avoid being bred by Nicolau. "Anything else they argue about?"

"Eoin keeps bringing up the phrase 'conflict of interest.'"

"If the two of them have sex or are mated, then Eoin's material is unusable," said Lori. "Basically, he'd be tainted by his close relationship to the storm. That's what he means."

"What was that about my material?" interrupted Eoin's voice from behind them.

Lori turned around and saw Eoin standing in the middle of the glade, face contorted into a frown.

"You were listening in?" aid Lori.

"Dubaka told me about it," came the response. "He believed Tish, and has actually been trying to keep the rumors from spreading any further."

Tish's eyes brightened a bit. "So you believe me?"

"No, I don't think we'd ever be an item," said Eoin, ear flicking. "He's a Raichu, and I'm a human. It's not right."

"But he loves you," replied Tish.

"And I love not being fucked by a Raichu, thank you," said Eoin. "I've made it clear to him on an almost nightly basis that I'm not putting out for him. The love is unrequited." His tone grew more and more aggravated.

"Eoin, please, calm down," said Lori. "We know that Nicolau indeed enjoys your presence at the least. It's not an insult."

A few minutes passed. Then, an omulosi wandered in to relieve himself.

"We'll talk about this later, Lori. Get Tish out of here." With that, Eoin spun on his heels and walked out.
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