AGNPH Stories

Tempestas et Stringere by Bébinn Heffernan


Story Notes:

Sorry for the long absence; I've had a lot of things to do, a massive amount of writer's block recently (The latest Karistaa Usko chapter's presently in Limbo), and a complete overhaul of my mythos, so I decided to do one more in the general Pokemon universe. As the July contest inspired me a bit to write this chapter, it's a contest entry (or, at the very least, Nowhere and Everywhere is since I'm not certain how long this inspiration will hold).As usual: Pikachu, Pokémon, Mother et al. are the property of Nintendo. The characters are mine, as is the plot.

Dinner Debate

Chapter 7:

Dinner Debate

*)July 26, 2009 - 11:41 KDT(*

The vast majority of the nyithindo - the Pikachu and Pichu - eat, sleep, and play in groups of approximately 20 individuals each. These groups are not fixed; during the throng of the day Pikachu leave their groups, only to settle back down when the sun starts to set. The sole exception to this is the foraging party, which leaves the storm every other day to bring back berries and meats for the other individuals and thus are unable to mingle to the same extent as the rest that day. The foraging party is selected at random and guided by an omulosi by the name of Kweku, whom I met on our first night. Although I am unable to join the foraging parties, a Pikachu that Eoin has befriended, Mudiwa, has, and he has written a log for your ears; the log is in fluent Commons and I will have it available the next time I transmit.

With apologies, Lori Tanner.

*)July 31, 2009 - 21:07(*

The mood tonight was festive, with the breeding season approaching. The omulosi all were sitting around the table, with their mate (if they had one) or just chatting amongst everyone else (if they didn't). It relieved Lori to no end to see Eoin was with the other unmated omulosi, and from the looks of it Eoin was just as relieved.

Of the 20 Raichu at the table, not counting the perennially-unmated Nicolau, the eight nearest the end were alone. These eight were Chausiku (a widow), Ime (uninterested), Eoin (likewise uninterested), Lori (whose mate was back home), a burly Raichu named Kobina (a widower), a half-crazed-looking Raichu named Nthanda (literate), a petite and nervous Raichu named Mirembe (Divorced from her ex-mate after he abandoned her for a Pikachu), and a very shrewish Raichu, named Sekai (whom, at that point, had rejected every potential suitor as just after her power and pussy).

Kobina spoke through a mouthful of Watmel. "So, tell me about this wondrous box called 'television'," he said to Lori. Lori had been educating him on humanity's technological advances.

"Well, you turn it on, and a couple people inside the box - maybe up to 500, depending on the program - come awake and start doing things for your entertainment." She paused to eat a Colbur, peeling it. "They could do things like say silly things to each other, stage a fake fight, stage a real fight, or run along a white box and be tripped by a guy in a green jacket."

"Ah, fascinating. Tell me more."

Meanwhile, Eoin and Ime were talking. Intrigued by the knowledge that this place was under a military blindspot, Eoin asked pointed questions about the parts closer to Mt. Silver, but Ime was being evasive - especially moreso when Lori educated him on human law.

"So, Ime, wha--"

"Plead the Fifth," growled Ime, finishing a Cornn.

"You didn't even le--"

"I plead the Fifth."

"You're a motherfu--"

"I plead the Fifth."

Eoin gave up, then looked at him. "Alright, so I know what not to ask you about. But, could you at least tell me why you--"

"I plead the Fifth."

"Guess not." Eoin popped a Sitrus into his mouth. "Why don't you have a mate?"

"It's because of what I'm pleading the Fifth about, so, I plead the Fifth."

I'm going to kill Lori for mentioning the United States Constitution, thought Eoin. "At least you didn't really evade the question."

Ime looked up at Eoin. "I'm not permitted to talk about a lot of things by Kabaka's edict, and the area around Mt. Silver's one of them."

"But what about those who take part in the Ceremony?" asked Eoin.

"They're forbidden from talking about it, too," said Ime. "Ever find out who injected you?"

"Still hunting," said Eoin. "It can't be too difficult, though. Someone would have had to have been in the area to know where Lori dumped my epipen. Since then, though, I've been burying them in the latrines."

Mirembe looked at Eoin. "I think there were only a dozen nyithindo near the door when you were led out."

"Why aren't you mated, Mirembe?" asked Eoin.

"As above, so below," said Mirembe. "You first."

"I'd rather not rehash the story any more than necessary, so I'll just say that if I do get mated, bad things will happen to me back home."

Mirembe seemed satisfied with this, and looked down at her section, devoid of nuts. "I caught my husband in bed with another nimbus and chased him out. Nicolau annulled the mateship because of his infidelity."

"I can't imagine why anyone'd want to cheat on you," said Lori.

"I think he was just tired of the smell of my herbs," said Mirembe.

"Herbs? ...Oh, you're the apothecary, aren't you?" asked Eoin.

"If you need anything to drink to get fixed up, she's your girl," said Nthanda in Common.

"And you wonder why nobody wants to fuck you, Nthanda, no offense," said Ime.

"Really? I would because then he could legally consent," said Eoin sarcastically. Ime, Chausiku, Lori, and Eoin all laughed. The other four omulosi didn't get the joke, except for Nthanda, who took offense.

"Har har, Eoin. I'm not a shoga," said Nthanda. "I'm sure Ime'd accommodate you."

Ime shook his head. "Eoin almost ripped my nuts off first time we met."

Eoin nodded. "And I'd do it again to him, to Nicolau, or to any Chu lusting for my loins."

Nthanda bent down to grab a berry, then stopped and turned to Lori. "Lori, do you keep your stuff in Chausiku's hut?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?" Lori asked, cracking open a Wacan.

"Well, every day I see this group of nyithindo always playing and wandering by that hut, but they don't try anything either because Chausiku, her son, or her son's lover is in there," he said.

"Don't tell me you're about to pull a Mothopendo and predict imminent doom!" Lori put her hands by her head, fingertips outspread and touching her cheeks, forehead, and chin, and said, in her best fake Haitian accent, "Madame Lori predicts utter destruction because a nyithindo has found... a BRA! Now we're all doomed to choking to death on stretchy stuff!" The table roared at this. Even the usually-stoic omulosi cracked a smile. Lori decided to continue. "It's true! Lord forbid they also find the... PANTIES!" More laughter. Eoin was facedown in his pile of berries, laughing and pounding his fist.

After the table calmed down, a clueless omulosi - Kweku - asked a question that provoked even more laughs: "What are panties?" It seemed even amongst the Chu panties were known, and Lori suspected this was due to human garbage blowing in.

When the table settled down, eating resumed for five minutes, and then Mirembe asked Lori, "Why aren't you mated?"

"I actually am," she said. "My husband and my son are still at home. They couldn't come with me."

"Oh..." Mirembe chewed a Cheri, then asked, "How does it feel, to be separated from your mate and spawn for so long?"

"So far, I just wish I could send them a message, to let them know I'm alright," she sighed. "But I'm afraid if I do I'll expose the storm."

"Ah, yes. One of the preconditions for you staying here," said Mirembe. "I can't imagine how bad it must be for you... but if ever you need to bury your sorrows, I can get you some tonics."

"Thanks, Mirembe, but I don't want to bury my sorrows under drink," said Lori.

"Same for you, Eoin," said Mirembe.

Eoin shook his head. "I don't really have anything back home. My mother is dead and my father never cared about me. My aunt's the only family I really care about, and she's losing even those memories to Alzheimer's."

"Alzheimer's?" asked Nthanda.

"It's a disease that robs old people of their fondest memories," said Eoin. "I appreciate the offer, though, Mirembe, and I may take you up on it."

The feasting ended fifteen minutes later, the table laid almost entirely bare of berries. As the last Raichu pulled away from the table, Nicolau stood. "And thus begins another mating season. May you produce several healthy sons and daughters, and good night." With that, he started to leave, followed by the other Raichu, Lori, and Eoin.


Mudiwa sat in the small hut, reading a page that had been ripped out of some unfortunate soul's copy of The Homoerotic Adventures of Fox McCloud by the light of his cheeks. Unfortunately for Mudiwa, this page was how he had learned to read. Fortunately for Mudiwa, the page that had been ripped out was in a section of the book devoid of any romance trappings.

Underneath his cot was a small, crude box, where he kept several other scraps of printed paper. Most of them were pages ripped from novels; some were newspaper pieces stained yellow with age and brown with use as toilet paper; one was half of an issue of Pokecare, one that dealt with how to dominate and tame a Houndour.

Sitting across from him, darning his cot, was Mudiwa's father, whom didn't live with his wife due to the space constraints. Mudiwa's parents were both nyithindo, and were approaching 25 years old each. Mudiwa himself was fourteen years old, having celebrated his birthday in March. Because they were aware he was part of the Moonlight Meets, the two never left Mudiwa out of their sight for too long, lest someone else who knew attacked him.

A soft rapping on the shed caused Mudiwa and his father to look up. Bending down and looking in was an unusually-tall Raichu.

"Who the he--" started Mudiwa's father.

"Eoin!" said Mudiwa, a bit excited. "Why the social call?"

"I wanna stay here tonight, actually, Mudiwa, if it's okay with your folks," he said, looking at Mudiwa's father. "The Kabaka's hitting on me and this time he's not getting my hints."

"Why not Ime?" asked Mudiwa. "Didn't he offer?"

"Ime's also unmated."

"But so am I."

"You have a mother and father in the same room. If they hear me screaming, they'll pull you off me."

Mudiwa's father sniggered. Mudiwa glared at him, and sighed. "It's fine with me."

"One of the humans?" asked the father. He grabbed the cot. "Just don't destroy the hut."

"I'll try not to." He moved aside to let Mudiwa's father out, and then came in on all fours and curled up where the cot was. He turned off the translator. "What're you reading?"

"I dunno, but it's talking about fighter ships, whatever those are." Eoin remained amazed at Mudiwa's fluency. Mudiwa looked up. "Eoin... Are you really a shoga?"

"I am," said Eoin.

"Who was your first crush?" he asked.

"I... I don't wanna talk about it." He turned his head away.

"Was it that bad?" asked Mudiwa.

Eoin thought about it, then sighed. "My first crush only got close to me to try to kill me. He and four of his Christian friends curb-stomped me in an alley and gave me a flail chest and a broken arm." Mudiwa winced. He had no idea what a flail chest was, but it sounded painful. "I spent a month in hospital. That was six years ago now, in my senior year at high school."

Mudiwa frowned as he listened, and nodded. He rummaged under his cot for something, and finally produced a few sheets of notebook paper, bound with vines to look like a book, and handed it to Eoin.

"What is this?" he asked.

"It's something Lori wants. When you wake up in the morning, please give it to her. And... I'm amazed that things are even worse for you there than they are here for us."

"What do you mean?" asked Eoin, flipping through it. Mudiwa's handwriting was deliberate and clean, an attempt to emulate typeface. He knew enough about punctuation to put the periods in the right spots, but there were no other punctuation marks.

"The cirrus here only attack you to hurt you or castrate you," said Mudiwa. "They never try to outright murder you... You have mine, and I'm sure all other gays', sympathies."

Eoin nodded glumly, and curled up to sleep. Mudiwa sighed, and finished reading his page before turning in.
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