AGNPH Oekaki
 
  •  enrique_kenta |  Please help |  2010-01-18 01:01:19|  2h 50m 25s
     
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      enrique_kenta
      Date:2010-01-18 01:01:19
      I need some tips...
      Personally, I feel that I messed up badly. The lineart seems shaky, hand just looks wrong, and the blush effects just don't feel right. I only feel good about the eye and the popsickle (Is that even how you spell it?)

      Red line and critique is appreciated!
      If anyone would red line this pic, the password is: redline
      (Also, sorry. I didn't mean to bump this pic....)

      (Edited on January 17, 2010, 5:03 pm)
       
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      alancorona
      Date:2010-01-18 04:19:57
      I'm no expert at critique, more of less drawing in general. But since you asked for it, here are a couple of things I noticed:

      For her hand, you should've referenced your own holding the end of a pencil. You would probably only use your thumb and 2 fingers. Only small children hold popsicles with their entire hand. Her hand is resting on the frozen treat itself instead of just the stick. It looks like you originally intended that she have a cock in her hand (which I'm probably not wrong in guessing).

      Her ears look like they're folded back-- maybe that was your intention. Either way, you should be able to see her other ear; Judging by the angle of the coin, her head is facing a little towards you.
       
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      takiro
      Date:2010-01-19 00:47:20
      Also the wristbands are appearing to be part of her arm. They should have a visible hight but it seems like they're flat and drawn on her arm.
      Also the shoulders are on different hight, am i right? The entire top of her body looks distorted anyway.
      I think you maybe should watch some of the animations made here on the board. Just look for a good one and watch, you probably will get some good advices how to build up a character.

      Is it intended that the hair disappears behind the eye oO? I've often seen similar things at eastern drawing styles but when eyes cover hair it looks just wrong in my opinion. Maybe it's a matter of style and personal sense but I mostly get the impression that the character is staring at the viewer.