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Pokerus Unleashed by
Rated:XXX [Reviews: 4]

Summary:

When Pokérus gets unleashed upon the modern world, it transforms animals and people into Pokémon. Join Leon as he tries to defend himself and his transformed girlfriend, Kristy, against crazed pokémon and even other people. They will make strange friends and encounter strange creatures. But will they find a cure?


 


 

  1. Prolougue: Gods or Men and Chapter 1: the Incident (1611 words) [Reviews: 2]

    This series is only for fun on the side while I'm writing my real book and a Slave's Salvation. For those looking for a more in-depth story, check out my other series!


     


    Pokérus is created and Leon and Kristy start their journey.

  2. Chapter 2: Home in Someone Else's Home (1042 words) [Reviews: 1]


    With Kristy on the verge of transforming, Leon needs to find a place to stay for the night.


     


  3. Chapter 3: The Last Night (1572 words)

    Kristy gets intimate on what may be her last night with Leon.

  4. Chapter 4: a Rose by another Name (1156 words) [Reviews: 1]

    Kristy transforms into a Pokemon

  5. Chapter 5: A Wild Pokemon Appears! (1101 words)

    Leon begins his search of the houses, but something tries to stop him.

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  • Reviews (4)
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  •  
    Reviewer: ashoka
    Date:Sep 18 2012 Chapter:Prolougue: Gods or Men and Chapter 1: the Incident
    Enjoyable, well versed and entertaining. Hopefully more to come but I can't really say for certain I will like the whole story as its only a first chapter and prologue even. It's promising.
     
  •  
    Reviewer: namespewer
    Date:Sep 21 2012 Chapter:Chapter 2: Home in Someone Else's Home
    Reasonably paced, and the actions of your characters are well ordered and detailed to act as a stand-in for standard characterization methods. I like your style in this chapter very much. Revealing too much of a character's thoughts can come off as "pushing" their personality onto a reader, and you let it ebb upon them instead as the story unfolds. Such as when Leon intentionally leaves the sheath in the trunk, or when Kristy "trailed off" instead of ending her sentence definitively. These hints at their underlying personality, portrayed through action, are a blessing in the story-telling.

    I feel obligated to give at least one piece of constructive criticism, using a shared stream-of-consciousness in the story like you seem to be setting up for really benefits from more use of descriptives uniquely experienced by the targeted character of the moment. For example, instead of "Kristy asked nervously" in section 5 try "Kristy looked nervous. 'Are you sure?" she asked". See how that sounds to you.

    Great work, will be back when you continue.
    Author's Response:

    thanks for the actually constructive criticism. to explain this mistake, this story was not originally in a shifting veiwpoint but after reading a book with a shifting veiwpoint I realized that it would be a much more effective way to tell the story as more and more characters are added to the group and I could switch to their view points rather than just tell the first impressions. it's this reason that I came in to the first few chapters and reworked them into what they are now.

     
  •  
    Reviewer: anothershyguy
    Date:Sep 27 2012 Chapter:Chapter 4: a Rose by another Name
    An intriguing story! Your concept is definitely a fresh idea, and these first chapters have the metaphorical stage nicely set. The next few chapters are where your story will make it or break it. I wish you luck!
     
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    Reviewer: Hironada
    Date:Nov 24 2012 Chapter:Prolougue: Gods or Men and Chapter 1: the Incident
    Favorited! Update yo! I like the concept. Original and exciting :D