AGNPH Stories

Of Courting a Roommate by bcy603


Story Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Chapter Notes:

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Of Flowers and Suitors

Sissel let out a relieved sigh as he made his way toward his second period class. Thank Arceus that he only had one class with Chester (even better, it's not until end of the day!). Today hasn't been going as badly as he thought, although something seemed a bit off. Ordinarily, Chester would be teleporting love notes all over his desk during the fire type's first class, but nothing appeared today (not that he was complaining). And that sudden fire drill was a surprise too. He had even heard students gossiping about an explosion in one of the English classrooms.

The Quilava shuddered abruptly when he felt a cool breeze ruffle his fur. Right, he wasn't wearing clothes today. Damn that Chester. He was going to get back at him for this. Evil plots of pain and revenge streamed through his mind as he made his way into his classroom. Chester is so gonna get it…

Sissel's ears perked up. There was a noticeable crowd of people swarming around his desk, many of whom were girls, all giggling and glancing at him with suspicious-looking smiles. A sinking feeling welled up in his stomach.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked and tried peering over the mass of students. Phillip, who had been part of the crowd, looked up cheerfully.

"It looks like you've got yourself an admirer!" The Shinx beamed with an air of excitement.

"What do you mean?" He felt puzzled and politely pushed himself through the horde of people. What could they possibly be talking about? An admirer?

Sissel felt the blood drain from his face.

Flowers. Mountains of bright pink, painfully glittering flowers, all wrapped in ridiculously puffy bows were piled neatly around his desk. No, scratch that. He couldn't even see his desk anymore under that massive swamp of floral material. The air smelt so thickly of sweet pollen that it made his lungs hurt. Who the hell-?

"Isn't it beautiful?" Phillip asked dreamily. "This is so sweet! I wonder who it's from~"

As if you don't know already, Sissel mused before dreadfully plucking a heart-shaped note from the flowery disaster. His hesitant hands opened it with such caution that one would think he was deactivating a bomb. Chester's ridiculously loopy handwriting written in sparkling ink immediately screamed at him.

My dear Sissel, the card read, complete with random masses of hearts drawn practically everywhere; Please accept my sincerest apologies for angering you this morning (Although it is in your greatest interest to shed those silly clothes and reveal your true glory). I beg for your forgiveness, and hope that our ties of love will continue to flourish beautifully. Lots of love, Chester.

"Oh, it's from Chester?" Phillip piped up, mildly surprised. He jumped back when the card suddenly incinerated into ashes in the Quilava's paw.

"That bastard…" Sissel's eyes fluttered back to what looked like a misplaced flower vendor, a heavy blush evident through his creamy fur.

The temperature of the room suddenly skyrocketed. Many of the students hastily scurried their way into the hallway. Even Phillip stepped back a couple dozen times, though he was still smiling like an idiot. In less than four seconds, the flowery arrangements were reduced to a smoldering pile of grey dust.

"Aw, that's such a waste," Phillip pouted. The Shinx stared longingly at the fluttering ashes.

"It's his fault for wasting all his money on this crap," Sissel felt the burning feeling in his chest settle slightly as he dusted off his desk. Arceus, that was the most embarrassing thing that he ever experienced. He was seriously thinking of snapping Chester's little neck when he finds him. A crooked smirk slowly slid across his face as he imagined the stupid Espeon's painful demise.


The hell-?

His desk was once again, flocked with another colorful mountain of flowers. Damnit Chester! Stop teleporting these damn things-

"Don't you dare!" He snapped as Phillip attempted to sneakily tuck a flower behind the fire-type's ear. The nerdy Shinx's ears drooped in disappointment as he backed off.

Sissel took in a deep breath as he tried to calm his blushing face. It's ok; everything's going to be fine. If he just burned away the rest of these and-

The Quilava nearly jumped out of his skin as the teacher slammed the door open and strolled into the room. The old Noctowl glanced in his direction and his face immediately lit up in delighted surprise.

"Well now Sissel! You've reached that age already? Suitors!" The old bird complimented in a voice loud enough for the entire school to hear.

Sissel wanted to curl up on the ground and cry.



Sissel's head was spinning with furious thoughts for the rest of the day, the flames on his back blazing with unrivaled heat. Many of his peers made sure to stay several feet away from the fuming fire type to avoid getting sent to the hospital. He managed to set off the fire alarm several more times, but he didn't care.

First, he was going to make it through the rest of the day. Then, when he makes it back to the dorms, he will make fucking sure the Chester does not leave that room unless he was in a body bag.

Seriously, there's only so much a Quilava like him can take! It's bad enough that the majority of the female population was giving him the most ridiculous fangirl looks, but the teachers are even fucking encouraging it. What the hell is wrong with this damn school?!

"Um, Sissel?"

"WHAT?!" He felt himself snap, his flames spewing over the hallway like a blanket of death.

Phillip was looking at him with his usual cheery smile as his Light Screen batted away another wall of fire. "Uw, is it just me, or does your locker look like it's bulging a bit more than usual?"


Sissel glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, his locker door was extending off the wall in a U-shape. Heck, it's a miracle that it's still on its hinges. He could see several colorful boxes of chocolate peeking out from behind the stretched door. Damn it.

White-hot rage coursed through his veins. Oh hell no, he wasn't about to fall for this again.

He gritted his teeth irritably as he made his way toward his next impending disaster. With one punch and a burst of fire, he made hole in the wall large enough for a mammoth to stroll through without any worries. Cracks snaked their way across the ceiling and broken pieces of rumble and debris scattered everywhere on the floor. A small river of molten chocolate and burning paper boxes stuck to the wall around where his locker once stood with a satisfying hue. Phillip watched with a smile and stood very far away, Light Screen at the ready.

"You know Sissel, the principal's gonna be pretty mad," The Shinx giggled.

"To hell if I care," Sissel muttered and took a deep breath. He really needed to calm down.

A rush of blood suddenly gushed to a brain. The room spun like a crazed merry-go-round and the Quilava abruptly found himself flat on his face. His head felt like it was made of lead, a thick buzzing ringing through his skull. Groaning painfully, he shut his eyes.

"Gah, are you alright?" The Shinx's voice sounded slow and heavy like molasses. Sissel tried to stand, but only managed to smack his head back on the broken tiled floor. His muscles burned as though acid was running through his veins. The last thing he saw was Phillip's concerned face before his mind faded to black.


Sunlight rained insistently onto his face, coaxing Sissel from his unnaturally tiring sleep. Groaning the Quilava lifted an arm to shield his eyes before immediately feeling a burst of pain through his body. Ugh, he felt like he just ran a marathon. Soreness swept through him, making it so tempting to just fall back asleep. Slumping his hand back to his side, he looked around.

It looks like he was back in his dorm room, but it looked different somehow. When did everything look so clean? Did Phillip do some housecleaning or something? The Quilava mumbled drowsily under his breath and tried to sit up, but another painful lurch convinced him to stay put.

"Ah, you're awake!" An oh-so-familiar voice called out. Sissel's eyes narrowed and glared at the speaker.

Chester was sitting at his bedside, wearing the usual mischievous glint in his eyes. "Haha, do you have any idea how much trouble you got yourself into?"

Pfft, speak for yourself. The fire-type growled weakly to his roommate before turning away from him. He was definitely not going to speak to this jerk. If he wasn't feeling like crap at the moment, his roommate would be a dead body on the ground.

Chester pouted; looking a bit hurt but brushed it off a moment later. That ridiculous smirk of his irritated him to no end. "I always knew you were a violent one my sweet Sissel~ You need to take better care of yourself the next time you decide to break a pipe and cause a gas leak."

A gas leak? He glanced back at the Espeon with a look of surprise.

"Yup!" Chester grinned, looking at his roommate's surprised expression. "You breathed in a lot of gunk and passed out. And then the whole place lit on fire a second later. You're lucky you have a boyfriend as caring as me to save you~"

I'm not your boyfriend! Sissel tried to shout at him but all that came out was a raspy sound from his throat. He coughed and tried again, but no words formed. Chester gave him a worried look before scrambling across the room to fetch him a mug of warm water.

Sissel tried to reach out and grab it from him, but another jolt of pain stopped him from even attempting lifting his arm. He saw Chester smile giddily before he carefully pressing the edge of the mug against the fire-type's lips.

He sipped the water grudgingly. Seriously, he probably lost more dignity today than his entire life put together. And now his damn roommate was feeding him water like a child. Just great.

Despite his internal rambling, the warm liquid did its job and soothed his burning throat. Sighing contently, Sissel slumped back down on his pillow.

"Wow, it looks like you won't be able to move around for a while," Chester sighed (he didn't sound too upset). A delighted grin slid across his face as he wiped the edges of Sissel's mouth like babysitter would to a little kid. "You know what? I think I'll be your nurse for the rest of the week! Don't worry my love, I'll take good care of you until you get better! Maybe we can have some FUN while we're at it~"

Sissel gulped and glared at the mug as if it was at fault. This was going to be a week in hell, he was sure of it.
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