Wednesday. Afternoon. Nothing to do. Yawn. Sitting on the couch can get dull but it sure beats training in the cold rain. I wish it would either warm up or cool down. Fall sucks sometimes.

I wiggle my toes through my socks. Human shape is comfy. Not great on rainy days, but great for making people stop questioning why the Zoroark is holding a pokeball. I should get out and around more: I'm getting chubby.

Maybe later...

I slump into the couch then glance over at the space beside me. There's a faint dark shape, kind of like the blur you see out of the corner of your eye sometimes. Must be Amigo. I guess laziness isn't just for Zoroarks.

“Hey Amigo.”

The Gengar “hmmphs” softly. Close enough to hello for me.

The TV is playing yet another horror movie. Two stupid human teens on the screen are going at it in a sleeping bag. Cue the psycho stalker music in three... two... one....

Amigo yawns.

“What's wrong? You usually like it when the humans are going to get slaughtered.”

The words come to me, pattering like rain across skin, sliding over my body and into my mind.

“Boring humans. They always pair off and go under the blankets. Why do they do it, Ashes? If they'd just fight outside like the rest of us they wouldn't get killed.”

“Uhh.... Amigo... they're having sex.”

There's a hushed pause before the words flow over me, “What's sex?”

“You know- mating. Creating babies?” Amigo starts to materialize glowing eyes first. That blank look can only mean one thing. “You have never had sex?”

Amigo blinks a couple times, then his eyes go wide. “Sure, Ashes! I've had sex before! I can prove it, too. Want me to show you?”

Wait... did my pokemon just hit on me? I can't help but blink a few times. You know, I really am that bored.

“Sure. Show me.”

The dark featureless void of Amigo's face splits open with a thin ribbon of light. The light stretches and twists taking the form of a mouth then a grin. He floats to his feet, extending a hand in mock courtesy.

“Ladies first.”

I go to the bedroom, a familiar second shadow following me. I take off my shirt unceremoniously. I can't believe I'm doing this. Down come the pants, kicking them aside. But seriously, why the fuck not? I stretch out on the bed. Come and get me. Amigo blots out the light at my bedside, that glowing grin still floating in the void. The red glowing points marking his eyes focus on my body, tracing it's shape. It's nice to feel desired. It's been awhile.

Amigo floats upward over the bed. The room seems darker as he flows over me, descending like a living fog all around me. Man it's dark in here! But it's cozy. A floating sensation starts to take over. I can feel the bed beneath me still, but the feeling is growing more distant. You know, I could get to like this.

I close my eyes and relax. I can feel a soft feeling like something dripping through my fur, brushing against my skin. So soft, so warm. Amigo is dripping through my fur, slowly covering every inch of my body. I shiver with delight. How can I make him feel this good back? No matter- I'm sure I'll find a …

OHMYGOD HOLYFUCK WHAT-IS-THAT!

My muscles contract involuntarily. I'm twitching all over and I can't make it stop. Dear god what the hell is going on? And the pain! It's electric but not like getting shocked. It's like it's coming from inside and tearing me apart. It's like my very being is being torn and stirred in a big old pool of inky blackness. I... I can't see. Everything is black, purple and red. I'm breathing but I can't feel any air. Help! HELP!

…

…..

…....

The haze. Can't think. Argh! Amigo... why....?

The blackness subsides and I'm laying in my bed with the lights on again. It feels like I passed out. I glance at the alarm clock. It has been less than five minutes. Amigo is hovering by my side. He looks confused. The words slide through the fog in my brain, wrapping me up like a blanket. “You are not enjoying yourself?”

I take in a deep breath. Still alive? Good. “What. The HELL was THAT?!?”

Amigo blinks. “It's what you call sex. You know, making babies?”

My arm feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. I still manage to Facepalm. “That's NOT what I meant!”

Amigo sits down at the edge of the bed. “But it is how we reproduce.” An image slides into my mind.

Two haunters flow into each other like water. There is a sea of energy within them crashing against the loose shores of their forms like a sea whipped by a storm. The energies swirl, mix and combine in all the colors of a burned oil slick. A strange feeling washes over me... is this how a ghost feels pleasure? The energies pick up speed and intensity, sticking, coalescing, and coming apart as entire worlds form and fall to pieces. The echoes of distant lives and memories crash into each other in cacophony. Then, from the din, something emerges. Something shining. Something pure.

A single soul has slid from the realm of the dead into the swirling depths of their energies. It becomes part of the tide, slowly emerging from the depths as a thing of shining beauty. A child. The energies retreat in equal measure to both partners. The memories are shared, the feelings remain, and the sensation lingers. Some memories are lost, but new ones are gained. The two are now and forever a part of each other. The two haunters slip out of each other, slowly regaining their regular shape. The space between them now holds a tiny point of blackness. The female cradles her new egg, then vanishes into the night.

I blink. Holy crap. Is this really how ghost types make love?

Amigo is smiling at me. He nods slowly, feeling that I finally understand. He pauses and I can feel the thought coming to him the way a warm breeze breaks a still spring morning. He understands what went wrong. “I have shown you my way. Please show me yours?”

“Sure!”

I have no clue how this is going to work but I've got to try. I mean wow. How can I compete with that? I try to sit up, but my body feels drained. I can feel Amigo before I can see him. He is cradling me in his lap as I half-sit. There are no words, only soft whisperings that seem to repeat “Rest now, try later. Rest now, try later...”

I want to try. It's only fair. I try to speak but he already knows what I'm going to say. He rests a finger on my lips. “Shhhhh....” He says nothing more but I can feel the patter of his thoughts like rain on a window pane. Amigo seems to fold in on himself. There's a gentle pressure against my lips. It reminds me of my very first kiss. So gentle, so shy... what was his name? Why can't I remember his face?

My lips are tingly now... I want... thank... you...