Early to bed, early to rise they always say. I looked at the clock. 'Eight AM,' well at least...ah who am I kidding there's no upside to waking up this early.

Classes don't start until ten so I had some time to explore.

I looked out the window to find the front of the dorms deserted; the pokemon probably don't even come out till we do. I guess there was an upside to waking up this early, now I won't have pokemon scoping me out as a potential mate. Believe it or not, sex is the last thing on my mind.

All the guys were sleep; their pokemon were right beside them. Who knows what they were doing last night. I'm a rock hard sleeper; they couldn't wake me if they tried.

All of a sudden the TV randomly turns on again but instead of the director all I could see was the school's logo: Rayquaza coiled around a giant pokeball. "Morning students" It was the founders voice again. "This is a preprogrammed announcement. It is now eight AM, the cable cars shall resume service." The TV went blank again, but the sound was enough to wake everyone else in the room.

Mike was the first to speak; he let out a big yawn. "Lee, man you're up pretty early."

"Trust me it isn't by choice."

Ryan spoke next while rubbing the sand from his eyes. "Mike, dude you gotta unhook our TV from the network again. I can't be waking up to that everyday."

Mike let his legs droop over the side of the bed. "Later on tonight, we've got more important things to do."

Lece spoke drowsily without moving his head from his pillow. "Like what."

"We gotta find Lee a pokemon." He smiled as Jessy dropped her arms over Mike's shoulders.

"And what makes you think I want or need one."

"If you're waiting on sex with another human you can forget it. The Campus Patrol has never failed to catch someone in the act."

Ryan added "Yeah it's a group of about 14 psychic pokemon stationed around the main campus. They friggin zone in on anyone who even thinks about doing it. They can like feel pleasure in the air; anyone who attempts it is caught in a matter of minutes."

"Sex isn't the issue; I can go for years without sex."

Everyone started laughing at this. They went on for about five minutes until Ryan finally said "I sure you can Mr. Abstinent."

Lece finally managed to stop laughing long enough to say "Ok, ok, let's say by some miracle you do go that long without sex. You still need a pokemon with you, mainly for protection purposes.

"I can take on anything I come by as long as it isn't some sort of legendary or psychic."

"Ohhh a tough guy." Ryan mocked.

"Gonna go wrestle down an Ursaring now?" Mike added before he began laughing.

Lece seemed calm for some reason. I couldn't figure out why until he said "Care to put your money where your mouth is?" The room went silent.

I smiled and turned to him. "Have something in mind Lece?"

"Yeah." he retorted "How about you fight one of my pokemon, your choice."

My smile grew. "Meet ya outside." Lece gave a smile as big as mine, grabbed his jacket and, walked out the door. Monica followed closely behind. I slid the window open and hopped out. Now would be a good time to mention that we live on the fifth floor. Nothing my legs couldn't handle.

Lece appeared a minute later, his pokeballs strapped neatly around his waist.

"What do I got to choose from?"

Lece pointed to each ball as he spoke. "Sceptile, Rhydon, Nidoking, Magmortar, Blastoise." The sixth ball must have been Monica's.

The way we were standing made it look like we were having a pokemon battle. In less then a minute a crowd was starting to brew. Wild pokemon and trainers alike circled around us.

"Nidoking." I said calmly. Without a second thought Lece yanked the ball from his belt and tossed it out. The nidoking stomped the ground twice and gave out and "intimidating" roar.

"Knock em dead Nidoking." After a minute of waiting Nidoking looked back towards Lece looking puzzled. I could tell it was a "Where is my opponent?" look without him even looking at me.

Lece simply pointed to me and said "You're looking at him."

"This human?! Bahahhahaha!" I almost forgot we were wearing translators. "You can't be serious Lecil?"

"Hey he suggested it, if you're so confident then go on and end this." The statement seemed to catch the nidoking off guard for a second.

"If you're still hesitant I give you permission to hurt me if you can." I was trying to get him to hurry it up.

With that said he turned back to me and stated "It's your funeral."

"I'm sure you can handle this on your own Nidoking, you won't need my guidance."

"And you're letting me choose how to beat him? You're too kind." Nidoking gave a devious smile.

"Everyone back up." The three of us said simultaneously. The crowd fanned out giving us suitable fighting room.

"Ready whenever you are." I announced. I didn't take any sort of fighting stance. I stood straight and let my body loosen. "Pay attention everyone, you're about to learn a little something about my past." I held my right hand straight out.

The nidoking charged straight at me. When the tip of his horn hit the tip of my finger I threw my entire arm to the right, taking the nidoking with it. With his entire mass redirected the nidoking found himself running straight into our crowd of spectators before sliding to a stop.

He was a little shaken until I said "My mother was a Tai Chi master."

He growled as he quickly turned, his hand now glowing with a bright white light. Focus Punch. He lunged at me with his arm extended, only to have it caught by my hand. Using his own momentum I grab his underarm, flipped him over my head, and slammed him onto his back.

"My father was a Judo master." I said before letting go of his hand.

He shook himself out of his stupor and hopped to his feet again. I could almost sense what was coming next so I motioned to the people standing behind me to move out the way. Sure enough he started tearing up chunks of earth and throwing them at me.

"Flow like water." I said as I easily sidestepped the boulders. I moved so smoothly that from a distance you would think I was on skates. After that attack failed his horn started to glow, Megahorn I assumed.

He immediately charged me again; I held out my hand once more. "Use your opponent's strength against them." This time when his horn came into contact with my hand I pushed straight down and hopped over him. He slid for maybe ten feet before coming to a stop.

I surmised that my last little comment was the final straw, and what do you know I was right. He stood up one last time and began charging a Hyper Beam. The crowd behind me knew to move this time.

"Lece I'm sorry about this in advance." He just continued to stare with the same blank expression he held since the beginning.

Nidoking reeled his head back in preparation for the Hyper Beam. "Duck!" I yelled as I looked to the crowd. They responded just in time for the beam to go off. I launched myself right over the beam and flew straight towards Nidoking.

"You know I like to use a little Capoeira when I'm feeling destructive." My jump turned into a swift spin kick. Nidoking could only watch as my foot collided with his face with enough force to turn his head almost halfway around. His head and the beam both flew to the side, right over the heads of the ducked crowd before dissipating into the air and cutting down a few trees in the process.

Nidoking stood for a moment before collapsing face-first on the ground. Everything was silent until from our window I saw Ryan nearly fall out yelling "Damn Lee turn beast mode off or you might kill someone. Hahahahahaa!" After that comment the silence was replaced by cheers and whistles. "And my plan to go through school relatively unnoticed has gone down the crapper." Lece returned Nidoking before walking over to me with his hand extended. "Good fight." He said with a smile. "You too." I replied with a firm handshake and a smile.

After a shit ton of high fives from random people and some dangerously close calls with female pokemon who saw a potential mate from that fight, and no not the Nidoking. I finally made it back to my room. That whole event took less then 10 minutes.

Ryan as usual was the first to speak "Oh man Lee you gotta teach me how to do that."

Lece spoke up "You realize by the time you leave this school you'll be able to do that too right?

"Bah, I've seen what they teach at this school, it's nowhere near as good Lee's beast mode."

"You also realize that it takes about 19 years to get as good as me right?" His excitement dropped a few notches. "Don't get so down on yourself, you'll just have to learn what the school is teaching."

"Lame." Ryan said disappointed as he mimicked what I just did with a few bad kung fu sound effects added to it.

"How's this I'll teach you a few of my tricks on the side okay?" I patted him on his shoulder.

"I am totally okay with this." He said it in an unnaturally deep voice as a joke. We all laughed for a minute until the TV came on randomly once again.

"Ok that's getting annoying." I had never been so agitated by a TV before.

"I'll get right on that." Mike announced as he hopped off of his bed. He went around back of the TV started fiddling with some wires when the founder came on with an announcement.

"This is a message for all student workers."

"Wait a sec Mike this actually pertains to me."

The founder continued "Today we will hand out the necessary items and materials for student workers outside of the main hall. First and foremost we have a new mailman. Students will no longer have to come to the main hall to pick up their mail."

Everyone in the room except me let out a simultaneous "Ohhhhhhhhh." Needless to say I was confused.

"Student worker Calvin Lee shall deliver mail to the boys and girls dorms every other day." A picture of me was posted on the screen. I looked at my picture they showed on the television and noticed it looked like a mug shot, could they have gotten a worse a picture? "If you have an immediate need of a letter or package you can still pick it up at the main hall in between these days. This being said, Calvin Lee please report to the main hall to get your items."

Everyone stared at the TV and then at me with looks of worry and disbelief. They all had a look that said dead man walking.

After a long awkward silence I finally asked "What?"

"Don't you know what happened to the last four mailmen?" Lece asked.

"Yeah due to bad practical jokes they were raped too many times and quit. Its nothing I can't handle."

"No" Ryan said gravely "It was the curse."

Sigh "Gonna regret asking this but, What?" my skepticism was showing.

"YES!" Ryan yelled "I get to tell the story. Jessy, Monica, Mike, get ready."

Lece closed the curtains, and Mike shut off all of the lights. Those were some damn good curtains it was pitch black and silent in the room until "Muahahahahahahahaha! Gather round mortals as I tell the tale of THE CURSE OF THE MAILMAN!" Which to me sounded like a bad horror film you would see late night on the television.

Ryan had a blanket over his body and held a flashlight under his face in an attempt to make himself look scary and Monica was in the corner shaking a large poster board to create a makeshift lightning sound. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen. I wonder when Jessy comes in.

"Last year" Ryan continued "January 3rd, Ray Baxter accepts the job as mailman. Two days later he is abducted and raped on the job by a large pack of weavile. He was raped until dawn the next day. He chocks his rape up to coincidence and continues his work. The very next day at the exact same time he is abducted once more by a pack of mightyena. You can guess what happens next. After two "coincidences" in a row he quits the job as mailman. He was never raped again, in fact he's down the hall and to the right if you ever want to meet em. Room 238." He broke character for a second to tell me that.

"So Ray got unlucky, that doesn't mean-"

"But wait there's more!" Ryan interrupted "February 3rd, Lance Baker accepts the job. Two days later RAPED BY SWAMPERTS, the day after RAPED BY FERALIGATORS! He quit." Jessy finally made her appearance when she blew fire into the air dramatically.

"March 3rd, Justin Grant accepts the job. Can you guess how long it took for him to be raped? THAT'S RIGHT TWO DAYS! Clefable the first day and Sandslash the next. He obviously quit."

"We didn't have a mailman for months after that. Not until, Marcus Dale on October 3rd. Two days later ARCANINE, the next day RHYHORN. BUT, unlike our other mailmen Marcus was devoted. So the next day he returned to work, LICKTUNG, and the next day DRAGONAIR, and the next day TYPHLOSION, and the next day GRUMPIG, and the next day ZANGOOSE, and the-"

"Oh stop it." I snatched the flashlight from him. "Monica, the lights please." Monica turned on the main lights. "So what happened Marcus?"

"Well after being raped by Absol, Infernape, and Tropius he just disappeared."

"They never found em." Lece added. "In all seriousness though, these aren't just stories. They all happened last year and everyone knows it. In fact there are several eye witnesses that saw the mailmen being dragged away."

"Curse my ass." I threw the flashlight onto my bed. "Even if it were true you guys know nothing can touch me."

"You aren't scared at all?" That was the first time I heard Monica speak. "I don't get scared, not anymore at least." I opened the blinds to find something that ironically kind of scared me. Every single pokemon in the front of the dorms was staring right at our window. If I didn't know any better I'd say they were staring at me. I went wide-eyed and froze as they just continued to stare.
Everyone else in the room took notice and did the same thing I did. The only person able to regain his composure was Lece; he quickly ran in front of me and closed the blinds. That was enough to snap everyone back into reality.

I was able to nervously say "Those were just...some fans that saw the fight earlier." I was still partially frozen. That scene just unnerved me.

After another long awkward silence Ryan leapt off of the bed and latched on to my foot. "No Lee we can't lose you too. Just quit, quit while there's still time." He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

But the words quit just echoed in my head until "I never quit." I found my resolve again.

I yanked the blinds open, yanked the window open, and yanked my foot free. I set my foot on the windowsill and turned around to say "Im getting my stuff, I'll meet you guys back here tonight." I turned back to all of the staring pokemon and said to myself "Alright, lets do this mother fuckers." And with that I jumped out of the window. Not realizing that I landed on some mon's morning relief. "Not one word or I'll kill you all." As I started to clean the mess off my foot I could hear the stifled giggles of my roommates and their pokemon.Chapter End Notes:Shinjihiroku, worst writer in the world reporting in. Review, Read, or Enjoy. Do one of those and I'm happy. Do two and I might give ya a hug. Do three and I might give ya a dollar. (In magical fun money.) Anyway let me leave before the disclaimer comes and finds me smoking.

Even the best writers should have proofreaders. Thank you once again catsithx, you rock. ^.^