Chapter 3: Therapy
DISCLAIMER: All characters and properties are copyright their respective owners. All writing and original characters are copyright 2009 Zephyr Paws. The author is in no way associated or affiliated with any third-party. This original fiction was created with no intention of any copyright infringement against any third-party, and is purely for fan enjoyment.
My eyes slowly started opening... I was very dizzy and disoriented, not to mention achy. Oh, and most of all, I was very hungry... it felt like my stomach was completely empty.
I sat up, placed my hands on my face and shook my head a bit, then looked around at my surroundings. I was in another strange room, this time with a soft, comfortable bed that I must have been sleeping on, an open door leading out into what looked like a hall, and lots of windows all over the place.
"Where... am I?" I said with a weak whisper, standing up only to find that I was still off-balance and quickly fumbled back onto the ground.
Wherever I was, it seemed infinitely better than locked in that awful closet at Tom's house. I remembered Officer Jenny and her talking with that other officer, making it sound like Tom was caught. Maybe they would punish him... maybe they would punish Whiskey... but most importantly, maybe I would never have to see them again.
As I took another step up and tried to steady myself a bit better, I saw another pink Pokemon walk by the hall on the other side of the open door. It almost passed my room by entirely until it took a step back and glanced in at me.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were awake!" exclaimed the pudgy pink Pokemon wearing a white hat with a red plus sign on it and carrying an egg in its pouch. She had a clipboard in one of her arms. "I'm Sherry, your nurse and personal therapy Chansey."
She extended her free paw in front of me and waited, appearing to want me to do something. "You can shake it. I'm going to be your friend now and help you get better!" exclaimed the Chansey.
Following the Chansey's instructions, I reached my own hand out to hers and gripped it loosely. She then shook it up and down a bit and withdrew with a smile.
"It says on the records of your Poke Ball that your name is Brandy. Is that so?" asked the Chansey.
I nodded my head, still unsure of if I wanted to try talk to the Chansey at all or what she was even doing here. After all, I was pretty confused and famished. Perhaps she had some answers.
"Good~" said the Chansey, trailing her voice off as she looked over her clipboard a bit and smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Brandy! Before I go on, you must be hungry -- you've been asleep for over fourteen hours!"
Fourteen hours? I was really asleep for that long? No wonder I was so disoriented and hungry...
Before I could react, Sherry reached into her egg pouch and pulled the egg out from there, then handed it to me. "Go ahead and eat this~" she said in that usual soft voice.
I took the egg from her and held it up. It was very large, probably about as large as I was when I was a Clefairy. It felt like I was hungry enough to eat the whole thing! Of course, it seemed a little unusual to eat an egg. Wouldn't it be a bit crunchy and runny? And wouldn't it be eating another Pokemon?
"You look confused. Are you?" asked Sherry, tilting her head and placing a paw up to her chin. "Do you have any questions, Brandy?"
"U-um..." I started, feeling both famished and timid in front of the Chansey, "um... th-this egg...?" I wasn't exactly sure what to say or how I should say it, so that was all that came out.
"Oh, don't worry~!" She smiled and closed her eyes. "It's not the egg of an actual Pokemon. It's a Chansey Egg. It's full of nutrition and is very tasty! Go ahead~"
I couldn't argue that, then... cautiously, I took a bite towards the top of the egg. It had a crunchy yet highly sweet shell that was almost like a candy shell, and the insides had a texture similar to marshmallows, except with almost a hint of melon flavoring.
It was really delicious! I wasted no time in taking several more bites as my ravenous hunger hit me. The egg tasted amazing and it was so great to finally be able to eat. I couldn't recall how many times I was fed while locked in that closet, but it couldn't have been that much in the few days I was there, not to mention all of the sleep I had since I got away.
"While you eat, I'm going to explain a few things for you~" Sherry pulled over a chair that was in the room and sat down on it. "First of all, you are in a Pokemon Therapy Center located in Celestic Town. You arrived last night from the Kanto region, from Cerulean City if I recall properly. Officer Jenny arranged to fly you in."
Wait, what did she say? Was I no longer home? "W-wait," I said, finishing my bite before pausing long enough to ask. "I- I'm where?"
"Celestic Town. You're in a region north of Kanto -- where you were found -- in a place called Sinnoh. It's a really nice place with a lovely mountain view~" She smiled and wagged her tail a bit.
No matter how happy she sounded, it didn't change the fact that she took me from my home... well, maybe not her directly, but still... I was far away from home now. Mt. Moon, the only place I knew... I couldn't even run back there now.
"I-... um... I want to go back home," I said meekly, sneaking in a nibble of the delicious egg while I waited for her response.
"Oh, yes, well, you see... there aren't yet any Pokemon Therapy Centers in Kanto. It's an experimental treatment method that has only nine locations all around, with most of them being in Sinnoh and Johto. So far it's had tremendous success~!"
Tremendous success? I sure didn't fee-... well, actually, I did feel much better than I did before I was saved from Tom's house. It didn't matter, though, because I wasn't ready to move away from everything I ever knew... not even that it was a lot...
"I've been informed of the trauma you've been through and want you to know, Brandy, that I will be available for you to talk to about any of it that you wish to talk about. Talking your problems and feelings through is an important step of recovery~"
She was right... I did have a lot of problems... but it didn't matter right now, none of it mattered. The only thing that was ringing through my mind was hearing the fact that I wasn't home. It was deeply bothering me, making me feel like, once again, I was kidnapped and taken away...
"You look less than content, Brandy. Do you wish to talk about it?"
"Um..." I started, pausing once again from eating my meal. "I... I just... why can't I go h-home?"
Sherry bore a bit more serious of an expression, looking increasingly sympathetic and worried. "Brandy... You are in a very vulnerable state right now and you don't even know it. Suffering trauma like you had to suffer causes deep psychological and emotional pain that may take a long time to heal."
Hearing that made me freeze. Was she right? I hadn't really reflected all that much on what happened. In fact, I could barely remember what happened to me. The only thing on the tip of my mind was the fact that I wasn't locked in that closet and that I finally had food.
But her saying that, wording it the way she did, sent sudden flashes of the disease I felt when Tom was molesting me, pushing his finger inside of me like I was some sort of toy... flashes of the pain I felt when he penetrated my girlhood for the first time, leaving me completely powerless to resist... flashes of where my mind was when he and that awful Nidoking were piercing my every orifice...
I shivered, unaware I was even doing so, unaware that there was anything else in the room with me other than my flood of memories. Tom's face haunted me, that awful face moving towards and away from me in a sick rhythm as he took my virginity.
"Stop..." I cried, not realizing where I was or who I was with. I couldn't tell where I was, what I was doing, who was there, and what I was thinking. Thought and memory blended together in a horrible manner, deluding me to what was and trapping me in what has been...
"Stop... please..." My body began shaking. I felt my breath taken away from me like Whiskey had just slammed himself on top of me, just as he did when I was trying to escape...
"Brandy!"
"Stop!"
"Brandy! It's okay! You're safe now, don't worry~"
It was Sherry. She was right in front of me. I didn't remember closing my eyes or dropping my egg -- instead it felt like that horrible reality was happening all over again.
"Tom Collins was locked up for everything he did to you and several other Pokemon, Brandy. He is back in Kanto, far away from you." She reached down and offered me the egg I dropped. "Whiskey, that Nidoking, was sent to a Pokemon Disciplinary Institution where he will be trained properly." She paused. "You never have to see either of them again, Brandy!"
I couldn't finish my egg... I just found myself powerless to resist the tears and the sobbing that came as the reflections I'd been suppressing broke the dam in my mind holding them back. I felt so awful, so hopeless, and so weak for letting all of that happen to me...
I felt scarred, I felt scared, I felt worthless, I felt so many different negative emotions that I quickly found myself consumed in them, allowing them to only add to the tears I was crying out.
The straw on the Camerupt's back was when I thought of daddy... not even my real parents cared enough about me to raise me... he was the only Pokemon I ever knew, other than that awful monster Nidoking and the Chansey that was still in the room.
Daddy... you left me... all of this happened because you left me, because you told me to grow up. Was this what you wanted? Was this how Pokemon grow up? Daddy... da-ddy...
"Brandy! I'm here to help you through this, don't worry~" The kindhearted Chansey was now patting me on my arm, rubbing it slightly in a comforting way. "This is why you're here, Brandy, so you can work through these feelings you're going through in a comfortable environment."
It didn't matter, I could barely hear what she was saying. I just wanted to run away and get away from everything. Still feeling dizzy and without thinking, I dropped the egg once again, pushed the Chansey away from me, and ran as quickly as I could out of the room I was in.
Past the open door seemed to be a hall. There were several other open doors along the sides of the hall and it went both left and right. I didn't want to think too hard, so I ran left and kept running until I found a door at the end of the hall.
I went inside of the door, oblivious to anything else going on but my mad, frantic dash. The room was white and padded with cushions. There weren't any windows or any other doors leading out. Discouraged, I turned around, but it was too late -- I saw Sherry behind me closing the door, locking me inside.
"No! No!" I cried, running over to the door which had a window on it so I could see her. I banged my hands against it, losing all sense of myself as I found myself trapped inside yet another 'closet.'
"Brandy," Sherry said, though her voice was highly muffled from the thickness of the door except for a little speaking hole down near the bottom. "You don't have to run, you don't have to worry, you're safe here."
I watched as a human lady wearing white with a hat similar to the one Sherry was wearing approached the Chansey from behind. The two talked to each other for a bit and I couldn't make out a single word they were saying... what was going on? Why was I here? Why couldn't I just be home again?
After about a minute of chatter, Sherry faced me and started talking again. "Brandy, Nurse Joy says you need to stay in there where its safe and you won't accidentally break anything or injure yourself." She sighed. "You're going through a lot right now, so please try to rest and calm down~"
And just like that, the Chansey that was supposedly helping me walked cheerily down the hall, entering one of the rooms I passed. That was that.
I just found myself panting. What had come over me? Tears were rolling down my eyes but I didn't even remember crying. Honestly I didn't even remember how I got into that white, padded room, even though it just happened. All I could do was fall onto my back and cry out in yet another moment of delusional pain.
It felt like my gut was being ripped out from the insides. It felt like my slit was being invaded and violated once more. It felt like Whiskey was on top of me again, raping me, abusing me, crushing me... I kicked and I cried as the imaginary monster continued thrusting his length inside of me, deep, deep inside of my mind.
Before long, I blacked out again. I may have been awake the whole time and just didn't remember it. I was so trapped and haunted by these hallucinations that I couldn't tell what was what anymore. What I was living, what I was just remembering... even in my unconscious I found myself haunted.
What the Chansey said was more true than I first thought it was. I was deeply, deeply scarred by what Tom and Whiskey did to me. Even though they were both out of my life, I couldn't believe that, I couldn't rationalize it. And worst yet I couldn't let their deeds leave my mind...
I woke up some time later still in that white room. I felt a lot calmer and more clearheaded, though I was still depressed that I was far away from home and clearly needed a lot of help. Any time I'd even think of Tom or Whiskey I would feel scared and submissive, feeling them rape me over and over again, though this time psychologically.
No one was coming to the door. I decided to try shouting for someone, just in case it would have an effect or it was what I was supposed to do. "Sherry! Sherry!"
After waiting a few minutes and making several more attempts to get some attention, I realized that she wasn't coming and that no one heard me. I decided to give up and go sit in the corner of the room, sitting down and staring up at the white ceiling.
Wherever I was, it was awful. The Pokemon Therapy Center certainly didn't seem to be all that friendly if you disobeyed. They were like Tom in that regard, stuffing you in a closet if you don't do exactly what you're told.
What was I going to do? In my mind, I cursed myself for taking the wrong turn. If only I had run the other way, perhaps I wouldn't be in the padded white room like I was.
As I continued staring at the ceiling, I thought more about what happened and everything I'd been through. I tried to avoid it, I tried blocking the thoughts out of my mind, but they were still overwhelming to me. It still seemed so hard to believe that I was forced to live through everything I was going through.
Eventually I hit a point where I couldn't really think about anything new and I was too mentally exhausted to think about Tom or Whiskey abusing me. It felt like there was some sort of knot inside of my stomach that was pulling tighter, making me feel more and more uneasy and unsure about things.
I mean, after all, what was going to happen? Would I ever get out of the Pokemon Therapy Center? Would I ever get back to Mt. Moon?
Those questions rang throughout my mind. I was now haunted by the future, not the past, and it was all blurring together in a confusing way. I didn't know any of it. I didn't know what was happening. I wish I did...
About an hour into my thoughts, I heard a knocking sound at the metal door. I glanced over there cautiously to see it was Sherry. The Chansey was looking in at me from the thick glass, appearing to beckon me over.
Not having any other option but sitting there and waiting for her to come in, I walked over to the door and looked at her with a nervous expression on my face.
"Have you calmed down at all, Brandy~?" she asked me in that calm, happy voice she usually had.
I nodded slightly. It was true, I definitely calmed down a lot, but I couldn't say I was any happier.
"Brandy, Nurse Joy gave me the approval to let you out of here and take you back to your room. We both understand that you were just scared and had a post-traumatic panic attack." She looked at me sincerely. "Will you behave from now on so you don't have to go back in here?"
Once again, I nodded, though more hesitantly than the first time.
"Good, now please follow me to your room and we will talk a bit more to help you recover~" With that, Sherry unlocked the door and opened it.
I was so tempted to just run and try get away, but I figured that they probably would have thought of that and would just send me back inside... and I didn't want to go back into that awful room. I never wanted to be locked inside of somewhere again...
So rather than fleeing, I just stepped forward, watched the Chansey smile at me and turn her back, taking a few steps forward, and then waving her paw to try and get me to follow her. I followed her down to the room I escaped from.
Everything inside was just like it was when I fled, including the egg on the floor and the warm, comfortable bed. I walked over to that and climbed up on it before lying down.
"Go ahead and get comfy~ I've got another egg if you would like to have a fresh one~" said the Chansey, offering me a fresh egg from her pouch as I lay on the bed. I turned it down. Despite being hungry, I just wanted to be right where I was.
"Alright then." She put the egg back in her pouch and threw the other one on the ground off to the side. The Chansey then sat in the chair that she pulled over from before -- again right where it was when I left -- and looked at me curiously with a paw under her chin.
"W-what?" I asked her shyly, turning away after asking and staring at the ceiling instead.
"You seem to be rather timid, Brandy. Have you had much exposure to other Pokemon? Any friends? Family?"
Why was she asking all of that? Could she really tell anything more than what I let off? And more importantly, did I want to answer her questions? "U-um... n-no..." I said hesitantly. "Just my daddy..."
"Interesting," said Sherry. "Your dad, what was he like?"
"Um... he was... he was really nice." I wasn't exactly sure what else to say but that, because I'd never really talked about my daddy in front of anyone else before.
"I'm sure you must have gotten some of your looks or features from him and he would be proud of you." The Chansey nodded. "What happened to him, might I ask, Brandy? Is he still on Mt. Moon with other Clefable?"
'Other Clefable?' I suppose she'd have no way of knowing that he was a Graveler unless I told her... and I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted to do that or not. "He, um... I'm not sure... he told me that, um... um..." Talking was actually a lot more difficult than I thought it'd be.
"What is it, Brandy?" asked Sherry, sounding rather concerned and interested.
"He told me that I had to grow up and... um, well... he left me on my own." I sighed and looked over at the Chansey, trying to hold back tears as I rationalized that everything that happened to me was because he left me.
"There, there, Brandy. There comes a point in every Pokemon's life where they must venture out on their own and become free of their parents. Your father must have just been trying to help you reach that point."
"It's... it's his fault all of this happened," I said with a bit of a mumble, feeling it was somehow true.
"No, Brandy." Sherry shook her head. "It's not his fault. It's not your fault, either. It's Tom's fault. And he has been punished for it." She then reached over to me and gently touched my hand. I felt uneasy about it, but I went with it. "Most all humans are nice, caring creatures. Tom was just one of the rare few that wasn't."
"But..." I sighed before continuing. "If daddy didn't leave me... he would have protected me..."
"Brandy, you are free to feel what you want to feel, but it is important to understand that what has happened has happened and blame is not a positive emotion to feel."
I sighed even more. She didn't get it and I don't think I could make it any more clear what I felt, so I just decided to ignore it. I knew in my heart that he would have done something to protect me from Tom if he were there.
"One more thing I must urge you to remember... please, do not judge all male Pokemon poorly. They, too, are typically good creatures that are brave, loyal, and stand up to protect their mates at all cost." She looked at me with another sincere look on her face. "I understand that right now, you probably do not have a perception on what mating and love really are right now."
She was right about one thing and that was I didn't really have a perception on what neither mating nor love were. I had no way of knowing or believing what she said about male Pokemon and if there was any truth to it. "What... do you mean?" I asked, really just trying to hear more out of her on the matter.
I mean, to be honest, I wasn't really sure what she was trying to tell me. Believe males? Go out and let them do that to me again? Maybe that was what I was supposed to be realizing: why should I ever go through that again?
"Brandy, dear, you were put through a traumatic experience. Judging by your meekness and difficulty speaking to me, I would say you haven't had any friends other than your dad, which means that the only exposure you've had of other humans and Pokemon has been tainted by Tom and Whiskey..."
I wished that she would get on with her point. It seemed like she was going on and not really being clear about what she needed to be clear on, and that was 'why?'
"You need to understand that what you went through was not love. It was not mating. Someday, you will find a decent male Pokemon, one that will protect you, hold you gently, and love you dearly." She smiled at me and blinked. "Do you understand?"
I paused for a few seconds, not sure how to respond, exactly. "Why?" I asked quietly, still not quite knowing what to ask or even what she meant by what she was saying.
"Why what?" she answered back. So much for that plan.
"Um... why...? Why would... uh... why would a-anyone do that?"
"Do what, Brandy?"
I really had to work on my conversational skills. Being a quiet, timid Pokemon by nature and being raised to be that way, I had a lot to learn... It didn't matter, I finally knew what I wanted to ask. "Why would... why would a male protect me? Or... um... 'love' me?"
"Oh, I see," said Sherry, putting a paw up to her chin and thinking for a few seconds. "Brandy, dear, you must understand that love is something powerful, something that happens on its own, and something that you can't be afraid of."
Huh? Again, I didn't know where the Chansey was going or why she couldn't just answer my questions as to why a male would rather protect me than abuse me again... I only had my father, who was the only Pokemon that fit the bill.
"Do you know anything about love, Brandy?" asked Sherry, keeping her paw to her chin and glancing at me with a curious look.
Truth be told... I didn't. The only love I felt was from my dad and look what happened with that. "I know that... um, well... my daddy loved me. He said he did..."
Sherry smiled and placed her paws together at the side of her face. "Oh, see, well that is a good way to look at it! He meant a lot to you, didn't he? He always made you feel special and looked out for you?"
I nodded in response.
"Parents and their children usually have a strong bond of love with each other. Someday, you will find feelings like that with another Pokemon, feelings even stronger, feelings of attraction and desire, the longing to be with a Pokemon who just seems so right for you!"
"What...?" I asked flatly.
Sherry stopped and just blinked at me. "Oh, sorry~ I may have gotten ahead of myself." She blushed a bit. "Brandy, you need to remember to not be afraid of all males and to understand that you will fall in love with one someday."
It seemed like she was trying so hard to convince me of something I just couldn't care any less about. It felt like she was trying to shove something down my throat that I plain and simple didn't want to accept. Sure, it was getting my mind off of Tom and Whiskey -- somewhat -- but it was still frustrating having her make me think of male Pokemon and their... their... well, their malehood and what it does... particularly what it did, and specifically... to me.
"Can you, um, please go away...?" I asked the Chansey. "I... I want to sleep."
She looked a bit discouraged after I asked her that, which caused me to feel a little disappointed. I didn't really want to hurt her feelings, but I just wanted her to get away from me and stop talking to me.
"Sure thing, Brandy~" she said with a renewed smile as she got up from her chair, walked to the edge of the door, and waved at me before heading off.
That was easier than I thought it would be.
It made that padded room seem a lot more tempting, just because I wouldn't have to put up with her talking. She seemed nice enough, I was probably being a little rude to her, but the whole Pokemon Therapy Center mentality seemed to be trying too hard to push their thoughts on me rather than doing the only thing I wanted -- take me home.
Love... I didn't understand what love was... how could I ever understand what something like that was? And why did I have to understand it anyhow? I wished I knew what the Chansey meant by everything she was saying...
Maybe I should have paid more attention and asked more questions? Maybe I should have called her back to ask them again? There was still a lot of doubt I had in regards to what she was telling me, but it was still the best choice to just stay alone for the time being.
Night fell in the Pokemon Therapy Center. I had woken up in the middle of the night after falling asleep. Thankfully, I didn't feel crazy after I woke up like I was worried I would. My dreams were also peaceful, consisting of me running back home towards Mt. Moon and seeing it again. It was so nice... I was so worried that my dreams would keep being haunted by Tom and Whiskey.
I sat up at the edge of the bed and looked out one of the windows to see the moon shining in at me. It was almost full and feeling its light glow shine in from the window energized me in a way few Pokemon can feel energized.
It also felt like it was telling me I had to go home. It was probably shining down on me while I was dreaming, so perhaps it was a sign. Perhaps the moon was telling me, 'Brandy, go, go to Mt. Moon! Run, you can do it, you can make it!'
Unfortunately I couldn't understand what the moon was saying for sure; it was just a hunch. But perhaps my hunch was right and perhaps I should go...
I hopped up out of bed and slowly walked over to the edge of the door to my room. Cautiously, I peeked out to the right -- knowing that there was only a padded room to the left -- and saw a wall at the end of the hall. It looked like it might have turned, too, but I'd have to make it that far to tell for sure.
It was now or never. The Pokemon Therapy Center may have been great, but I wasn't happy there. I couldn't stay, I just knew I couldn't. I knew I had to find my way back home somehow. I didn't want to stay around all of these humans and other Pokemon.
Using my wings to help me float, I lightly skipped down the hall, just barely touching the ground as I did so. The wings I had now that I was a Clefable gave me even greater abilities to float and delicately dance across the ground.
When I got to the turn, I looked down the path to see some chairs and a glass door that looked like it led into blackness. Maybe, just maybe it was the door outside.
I stopped to listen to see if there was anyone there. My ears twitched a little bit as I honed in on the sounds around me, but all I could hear was faint snoring. Wait- no, I could hear a sort of clicking, striking sound, although I wasn't sure what it was exactly.
Taking my chances, I decided to try float-hop down towards the door and hope no one would see me. As I made it out into the room with the chairs, I noticed that there was a human typing away in front of a monitor at a desk.
I froze. I didn't know what to do. She didn't see me yet, but I wasn't so sure I'd be able to open that door with her there. Maybe... just maybe...
I carefully walked over to the door and pulled on it. It opened as I pulled it and I was so close to being outside that I just had to hold the door open for a second or two and...
"Hey! Stop right there!"
No! I was spotted! I quickly glanced behind me and panicked as I saw the human who was typing away just a few seconds ago standing up with a Poke Ball in her hands.
"Clefable -- Brandy, I believe it was -- you don't want to leave here! We're going to make you better!"
She did a very poor job at persuasion. I wasn't exactly sure what was in that Poke Ball, but I knew I would stand a much better chance of outrunning it if I was outside, so I continued through the door and ran at full speed out into a field.
As I was running through the field, I heard the sound of a Poke Ball opening and then something chasing behind me. It sounded like it was on four legs, but I wasn't about to find out what exactly it was.
Seeing it as perhaps my best chance to get away, I leapt into the air with everything I had and floated with my wings, allowing me to make a very large jump. When I landed from the first jump several yards away, I made another one, and then another one, jumping until I was too far gone to have to worry about whatever was chasing me.
In fact, I stopped to listen just to see if it was still chasing me... I heard nothing. Whatever it was gave up. I was free. For the first time in just about a week, I was free, free at last.
But I was also alone.
As I looked back at the moon, I wondered if it was telling me to do the right thing. I wondered if I should have ran from that place and out on my own. There I was, who-knows-how-far from home, in an unknown field... at night.
At least the moon was shining down brighter than I'd seen it in a very long time...
Beneath the moon, though, I noticed the edge of a mountain. As I turned a little bit to my left, I followed the mountain with my eyes to see that it was a very, very large mountain with an icecap on top and everything.
I wasn't sure what was there for me, but I felt a strong urge to go there. It reminded me of Mt. Moon, except it was even more magnificent.
Turning towards it, I started walking in the direction of the mighty piece of earth, hoping that the feeling in my gut was right.
I walked for the entire night. I had enough sleep that I wasn't worried about getting tired. Sure, I was still in quite a bit of pain, but nothing else seemed to matter to me but getting home, and that mountain far off in the distance reminded me of home.