Story Notes:
Many people think that having everything is a strength, but it can also be your ultimate weakness. When all of this is taken away from you in a heartbeat, you will be left devestated. And if someone dies because of your selfishness, in your place...how can you live with yourself? The guilt of being Still Alive can brng you to the point of insanity, but it can also allow you to fight back and try to re-gain your pride and honour, and put your guilty mind at rest.
Prelude
Diary Entry: Thursday, 6th May, 2010
We were unstoppable. We were unbeatable. As a team, no-one could stand in our way, hell it would've taken an army of them to even stand a remote a chance at harming single hair on my Pokemon's heads. Every command I issued they executed with stupefying precision... they all trusted me with their lives, and vice versa; the perfect team. I've heard many people say that Pokémon can feel things like friendship...to be honest I don't know whether that's true or not, but I don't think so, they're more like tools or toys than anything else, they enjoy fighting, I enjoy commanding them, a simple win win scenario. Of course, I treat them better than I treat humans, mind you I've never really been a people person, so who knows, I might not actually treat them that well. But that doesn't matter so much, the important thing is that they're all powerful and don't seem to dislike me too much.
But Blaze...damn he really did manage to shine the brightest today, and that's not just because he's a fire type! It really was something to see though, as halfway through the battle against Surge's strongest Pokémon by far, his Raichu, he looked beaten. Completely paralysed, confused and even poisoned (god knows how the happened)...but he kept trying...and get this, he was trying so hard he actually evolved! I'd never seen it happen so closely before...and it's beautiful, his body was enveloped completely by some sort of white light and slowly, piece by piece his figure changed into something taller, fiercer...better! Needless to say, after that he wiped the floor with the pathetic mouse, and it was clean sailing from there on, I guess my intense training regime has paid off after all!
But the highlight of the day was definitely when this brat called...hell he was so insignificant that I can't even remember his name, but apparently he'd watched my match and hadn't liked "my style". And then, get this, he started preaching to me about how I should treat them with respect, 'cus apparently I shout at them too much and I "forced" Blaze to evolve. But Blaze, oh no, he didn't like that kid disrespecting me at all, so he actually charged towards the kid! And believe me, having a huge Typhlosion charging you down is pretty damn frightening, so he bolted and only just managed to escape. Jesus Blaze sure as hell has come a long way from being that nervous good-for-nothing he was back when I first stole- I mean "acquired" him as a Cyndaquil, it almost brings tears to my eyes. Almost.
While I was literally laughing me ass off at how much of a coward the kid was, I caught Blaze looking at me...and I don't mean just glancing at me to see if he'd done good, because otherwise his mind would have easily been set at ease by now. But, he was really looking at me, like he was desperately trying to speak to me (which would have been awesome, a Pokémon that spoke English!)...and I realised something. His stance...that weird look in his eyes...he hadn't just done that for a laugh. He had been really pissed at the kid for what he had said to me...Blaze was being all overly protective and stuff...and for some reason, that worried me. So I promptly returned him to his ball, no questions asked. Apart from this one, Why did that worry me? In truth I don't really know. The only reason I can really comprehend right now is that if we develop some sort of "friendship" together, then it'll mess up the system that I have going right now, and anyway, like my Daddy always taught me, love breeds weakness. Which is probably why he never seemed to love me all that much...but I'm okay with that, a man in his position really can't afford to harbour such feelings...
On the plus side however, he did send me something ultra-special to make up for missing my birthday for four years in a row. I was so damn excited about this, because Daddy always sent me the best of the best stuff to make my Pokémon as strong as possible, things like Rare Candy and all those really expensive vitamins and minerals which boost Pokémon performance. However...I was kind of disappointed when I saw that it was a special sort of Pokéball, it was jet black and had a large crimson "R" on the side of it, which as many people know is the insignia of Daddy's group. Some people called Team Rocket evil. You know what I call those people? Correct. They are pretty evil, but I don't care that much, so a couple of Pokémon get stolen and experimented on, is that really such a big deal? And I've seen some of the experiments that have been carried out, and sure they're pretty gruesome and there's a lot of screaming and stuff, but it isn't that bad. Pokémon probably do worse to one another every day, after all, they are creatures that seem to thrive on violence.
Anyway, back to the present, I was disappointed up until the point when I found that the circle which locked the ball together was glowing slightly, and I remembered what that meant. There was something inside the ball! On this realisation excitement and wonder shone through me again, and I instantly let the ball go to reveal whatever was inside...and I swear my heart fucking stopped at the sight. Standing, well floating actually, right in front me, was a mother...fucking...MEW. Shit, I didn't even know those things even god-damn existed anymore, and now one was here right in front my eyes. I'd heard that these things were meant to be hugely powerful; a pity that it looked really young though, although that only meant I'd have to train it up and be the one responsible for making it awesome. And as it looked at me with its huge gloss eyes, I smiled, having Giovanni as a dad really did kick ass. And on a different note, maybe he does love me. Ah well, this is me signing off, time to train some more, my Pokémon are strong and all...but they're not strong enough for what I had in mind!Chapter End Notes:Yeah, sorry about the length, just didn't want to make a crazy long intro ^^; Anyway, next chapter will be the real start, probly be up in a few days. Lol, some things really aren't gonna make much sense, but things'll become clear later on Reviews always welcome
We were unstoppable. We were unbeatable. As a team, no-one could stand in our way, hell it would've taken an army of them to even stand a remote a chance at harming single hair on my Pokemon's heads. Every command I issued they executed with stupefying precision... they all trusted me with their lives, and vice versa; the perfect team. I've heard many people say that Pokémon can feel things like friendship...to be honest I don't know whether that's true or not, but I don't think so, they're more like tools or toys than anything else, they enjoy fighting, I enjoy commanding them, a simple win win scenario. Of course, I treat them better than I treat humans, mind you I've never really been a people person, so who knows, I might not actually treat them that well. But that doesn't matter so much, the important thing is that they're all powerful and don't seem to dislike me too much.
But Blaze...damn he really did manage to shine the brightest today, and that's not just because he's a fire type! It really was something to see though, as halfway through the battle against Surge's strongest Pokémon by far, his Raichu, he looked beaten. Completely paralysed, confused and even poisoned (god knows how the happened)...but he kept trying...and get this, he was trying so hard he actually evolved! I'd never seen it happen so closely before...and it's beautiful, his body was enveloped completely by some sort of white light and slowly, piece by piece his figure changed into something taller, fiercer...better! Needless to say, after that he wiped the floor with the pathetic mouse, and it was clean sailing from there on, I guess my intense training regime has paid off after all!
But the highlight of the day was definitely when this brat called...hell he was so insignificant that I can't even remember his name, but apparently he'd watched my match and hadn't liked "my style". And then, get this, he started preaching to me about how I should treat them with respect, 'cus apparently I shout at them too much and I "forced" Blaze to evolve. But Blaze, oh no, he didn't like that kid disrespecting me at all, so he actually charged towards the kid! And believe me, having a huge Typhlosion charging you down is pretty damn frightening, so he bolted and only just managed to escape. Jesus Blaze sure as hell has come a long way from being that nervous good-for-nothing he was back when I first stole- I mean "acquired" him as a Cyndaquil, it almost brings tears to my eyes. Almost.
While I was literally laughing me ass off at how much of a coward the kid was, I caught Blaze looking at me...and I don't mean just glancing at me to see if he'd done good, because otherwise his mind would have easily been set at ease by now. But, he was really looking at me, like he was desperately trying to speak to me (which would have been awesome, a Pokémon that spoke English!)...and I realised something. His stance...that weird look in his eyes...he hadn't just done that for a laugh. He had been really pissed at the kid for what he had said to me...Blaze was being all overly protective and stuff...and for some reason, that worried me. So I promptly returned him to his ball, no questions asked. Apart from this one, Why did that worry me? In truth I don't really know. The only reason I can really comprehend right now is that if we develop some sort of "friendship" together, then it'll mess up the system that I have going right now, and anyway, like my Daddy always taught me, love breeds weakness. Which is probably why he never seemed to love me all that much...but I'm okay with that, a man in his position really can't afford to harbour such feelings...
On the plus side however, he did send me something ultra-special to make up for missing my birthday for four years in a row. I was so damn excited about this, because Daddy always sent me the best of the best stuff to make my Pokémon as strong as possible, things like Rare Candy and all those really expensive vitamins and minerals which boost Pokémon performance. However...I was kind of disappointed when I saw that it was a special sort of Pokéball, it was jet black and had a large crimson "R" on the side of it, which as many people know is the insignia of Daddy's group. Some people called Team Rocket evil. You know what I call those people? Correct. They are pretty evil, but I don't care that much, so a couple of Pokémon get stolen and experimented on, is that really such a big deal? And I've seen some of the experiments that have been carried out, and sure they're pretty gruesome and there's a lot of screaming and stuff, but it isn't that bad. Pokémon probably do worse to one another every day, after all, they are creatures that seem to thrive on violence.
Anyway, back to the present, I was disappointed up until the point when I found that the circle which locked the ball together was glowing slightly, and I remembered what that meant. There was something inside the ball! On this realisation excitement and wonder shone through me again, and I instantly let the ball go to reveal whatever was inside...and I swear my heart fucking stopped at the sight. Standing, well floating actually, right in front me, was a mother...fucking...MEW. Shit, I didn't even know those things even god-damn existed anymore, and now one was here right in front my eyes. I'd heard that these things were meant to be hugely powerful; a pity that it looked really young though, although that only meant I'd have to train it up and be the one responsible for making it awesome. And as it looked at me with its huge gloss eyes, I smiled, having Giovanni as a dad really did kick ass. And on a different note, maybe he does love me. Ah well, this is me signing off, time to train some more, my Pokémon are strong and all...but they're not strong enough for what I had in mind!Chapter End Notes:Yeah, sorry about the length, just didn't want to make a crazy long intro ^^; Anyway, next chapter will be the real start, probly be up in a few days. Lol, some things really aren't gonna make much sense, but things'll become clear later on Reviews always welcome