AGNPH Stories

The Human Species by RingsOfSaturn


Story Notes:

It was a quiet night when Deoxys descended from the heavens.
Believed to not be of this world, it went on a rampage, leaving death and destruction in its wake.
Finally defeated by an unknown force, the tragedy of unparalleled magnitude it created remains in the heart of every human.
To make sure that something like this will never happen again, every wild Pokèmon powerful enough to cause such mayhem must be captured, controlled or killed.
Needless to say, this year has been a bad year for Legendaries. This year has also been a bad year for Champion Trainers.
But my year... Has been... THE WORST! 

Author's Chapter Notes:


Pure Legendary Celebi

- - - - - - - - - - -

Night had fallen by the time Lucario and Zerobi made it back to the others. Underneath the glow of the moon, a crowd of Pokèmon stood huddled together, watching a small legendary embrace her younger sister.

"My dear sister..." Celebi whispered while was barely holding back her tears, "... I-I thought you were dead...!" Her extremely short arms were hardly able to wrap around Zerobi's already scrawny neck, only serving to further increase the awkwardness of the moment.

"Um..." Zerobi mumbled and had no idea on how to react, "... I, uh... Didn't even know you existed!"

"Oh..." Celebi exclaimed before hugging her tighter, "I'm so glad...!"

The nearby crowd of Pokèmon watched the scene intently, but the harshness of the previous day had left them exhausted and generally unimpressed by this warm display.

"Urk, she's going to get blood all over her..." the Gallade muttered before noticing that Zerobi was cleaner than when he last saw her, "... Or not! Did she take a quick bath, or something?"

"Never mind that" Kabuta mumbled while unintentionally poking at the empty socket where her right scythe used to be, "I thought Celebi detested physical contact?"

At the sight of this, Kabutops suddenly walked past Lucario towards Kabuta. Lucario noticed that Kabutops looked a lot like his daughter, except for being somewhat bigger and having a far more rugged shell. If not for the fact that their auras were fairly different, he would have had trouble telling them apart.

"She does" Kabutops said in a clam voice as he moved closer to her, "But there's always an exception when it comes to family. Speaking of which..."

Kabtuops suddenly lifted his sharp scythe of an arm towards Kabuta. Lucario edged forward in a reaction to stop it, but realized that Kabuta's hard shell should be more than enough to prevent any damage from his scythes. The seemingly hostile action quickly turned into a warm moment as Kabutops carefully embraced his daughter, at long last keeping her within his protection.

"P-Pops..." Kabuta stammered while looking up at her father, desperately wanting to hug him back but noticing that such an action was no longer possible, "... I lost my arm."

"Hmm... I remember when I lost my first arm" Kabtuops said with a comforting tone in his voice, "A tussle with a reckless Omastar one night... Almost a century ago..."

"Wait... It'll grow back...?" Lucario asked, seeing Kabutops' two scythes and suddenly remembering a lesson about crayfish he had as a child.

"... Stronger than before, right?" Kabuta asked in a surprisingly childish voice.

"Right..." Kabutops replied with reassurance, "... That trainer had better watch it, should he return."

"... I'm sorry..." Lucario said slowly as he started feeling bad, "If my aura hadn't acted up, I might've been able to prevent it."

"... Hmm..." Kabutops mumbled while throwing a glance his way, "... Who were you, again?"

Lucario sighed, too tired to even be going through all the hardships in his head. He looked over at Pikabu and the Gallade, neither of which seemed eager to jump in and assist him. The others' incessant hugging made the three of them feel a bit left out, but they weren't desperate enough to start hugging each other.

"This... This is what makes it all worthwhile..." Pikablu said to himself, seemingly more taken by Celebi and Zerobi's joyful reunion than Lucario and the Gallade. Looking at his comrade, he felt a pang of regret over not having been able to protect Kabuta better, but was happy to see father and daughter together again. Quietly he moved his eyes towards Lucario, intentionally missing the Gallade who was busy looking at his reddened face in a mirror.

"So... Should I be worried?" Pikablu asked sternly, "She tried to kill you. This all could've ended so very badly." Despite having defeated Rayquaza on his own in the previous battle, Lucario noticed that Pikablu was currently in better shape than any of them.

"Gotta learn to treat your lady better, this one's got claws!" the Gallade added while smiling into the mirror, relieved to see that all his teeth were intact.

"... It was a technique" Lucario said with a voice still in poor condition, Zerobi listening in on their conversation and gasping a bit in surprise. Pikablu raised his eyebrow, awaiting further explanation.

"... But she can't tell friend from enemy when she's in that mode..." Lucario continued, the talking making his throat sting with every word, "... Totally slipped my mind. Shouldn't have gotten near her..."

"Sounds like a pretty reckless technique" the Gallade said before exhaling in relief over not being forced to fight a Dark-type.

"Dangerous situations call for dangerous techniques" Pikablu said confidently while crossing his arms, "Hmpf... You're just lucky Celebi was here to save you."

Celebi giggled a bit to herself, amused at hearing Pikablu lecturing someone over the same mistake he himself did only a few years ago. Calming herself down, she let go of Zerobi and looked directly at her. Zerobi shied away from her gaze, but somewhere within those eyes Celebi was able to gain a sense of recognition. Lugia and Ho-Oh had only described her baby sister as "the Dark-type with black fur", which seemed to match the Weavile in front of her better than anything.

"Zerobi..." she said before finding a more suitable word, "... I mean, 'sis'... Oh, I have such sights to show you!"

"... Listen, Celebi..." Zerobi tried to explain, "This is all kind of unexpected. I really don't know what to do."

"Worry not!" Celebi exclaimed cheerfully, "We are siblings, after all! Do what you want!"

"... Uh..." Zerobi mumbled defiantly, lowering her voice, "It's just, that... Well, I don't know you."

"... Um..." Celebi mumbled back while dropping her voice to the same low tone, "... I had a speech planned out... But that was many, many years ago!"

"Tell me, is there any sort of proof that we're related?" Zerobi asked.

"... Well, I supposed I could match up our DNA..." Celebi replied while thinking hard, "... Would you mind holding perfectly still for about twenty seven hours?"

"Wow..." the Gallade snickered quietly as he put the mirror down on the ground, "Who'd have thought the first family reunion after twenty years would feel so awkward?"

"... As heartwarming as this all is, it's got to wait until later" Pikablu said in a bossy way while once again taking charge, "Let's wrap up things here, first."

Pikablu broke away from the crowd and approached the passed out trainer not far away, lying beside his fainted Garchomp. He couldn't help but smile as the term 'apocalyptic beatdown' instantly leaped to his mind, wondering if he'd ever grow too old to enjoy a heated battle. Noticing that the Garchomp was covered in blood made him think about Celebi, and worried that she'd try to heal it out of sympathy when he felt it really deserved nothing less than a painful death.

"So... Should we release Rayquaza?" Pikablu suddenly asked, looking over the belt of Pokeballs on Lucas and noticing that he couldn't tell them apart from each other.

"That's..." Celebi sighed while looking down shamefully, "... The reason I became caught in the first place."

"Oh yeah, how'd that happen?" the Gallade asked before looking over at Kabutops with a smile, "The 'Indomitable Kabutops'... More like 'Completely domitable'!"

"... Cliffnotes?" Kabutops replied with a bored tone, "Rayquaza appeared, Celebi decided to help him, he took the presented opportunity to knock her out, then spat things at us until we went down."

"I simply could not believe that such a magnificent creature would find solace in captivity..." Celebi explained, "I thought he was being held against his will, or had his mind controlled, or something of the kind..."

"Mind control?" Pikablu said with an amused huff, "That's just something you find in silly fiction."

"Oh really?" the Gallade snickered menacingly and gave Pikablu the chills, "What was your first explanation for Celebi 'attacking' us, again?" Pikablu glared angrily at the Gallade, who didn't even notice it as he had built up a resistance to it over the years.

"... I should have just fled, instead of trying to befriend him" Celebi continued, her voice getting more and more depressed, "I suppose that my meeting you that time created some... Strange urges within me."

"Don't forget, that first meeting was all but pleasant..." Kabutops pointed out, "... Actually, about the same, just that you lost this time."

"My mistake placed you all in severe danger" Celebi whispered sadly before lifting her head and looking at Kabutops, "... I'm sorry"

"Me too" Kabutops replied in a faster manner than usual, "I was a captive of humans once, and I have no intention of returning to that 'life'... But I wouldn't exactly call this your fault, Celebi."

"... 'Life', eh?" Pikablu repeated, looking at the unusually downtrodden Celebi with worried eyes, "How bad was it?"

"... He was very kind" Celebi responded, clearing some of the fogginess from her own eyes and returning them to their sapphire sheen, "But I simply cannot live my life in servitude of another."

They all became quiet, letting the moment fully sink in. While the others were merely exhausted, Celebi and Kabutops were disoriented from being outside the Pokeball after such a long time. The simple notion of being surrounded by air seemed different compared to what they had just been through.

"... Again, who is this guy?" Kabutops said while looking at Lucario, the faintest of smiles showing itself beneath his mask, "... He's making me look chatty..."

"... Talking hurts..." Lucario grumbled with a damaged voice, "... Don't want to rupture a vein unless it's necessary... Or someone's filming it for later viewing."

"You pulled off some pretty snazzy moves out there" Pikablu admitted with a nod, "Especially when you didn't get caught when he used that Pokeball. How'd you do that?"

"Excuse me..." Celebi said softly while moving away from Zerobi and towards Lucario, hoping to get Kabutops' curiosities back on track, "... But who are you?"

"Lucario" he responded bluntly, "I just... Tagged along with these guys, I guess."

"One might say that without him, you'd still be stuck on that Pokeball belt" Pikablu said with a sigh while looking back at the unconscious Lucas, "... We'd all be sharing it, as a matter of fact."

Celebi blinked once in confusion, before suddenly smiling and making Lucario feel somewhat giddy, which in return made him uneasy. Pleasant sensations were constantly escaping Celebi, affecting him in the same way he imagined winning a million dollars would... Or perhaps something more akin to buying anti-depressants for them.

"Thank you for rescuing me, Lucario" Celebi said, bowing her head courteously.

"... N-No problem..." Lucario mumbled, the happiness flowing through the air combined with this cute display making him give off a nervous stammer.

"I am eternally grateful" Celebi continued with her gentle demeanor, "What would you like as a reward?"

"... That happy energy your body's radiating is enough..." Lucario replied, feeling a bit mischievous, "Can I cut off a piece to carry with me?"

"Um, Lucario..." Zerobi said as Celebi recoiled in horror from his request, "That thing you are... I think Celebi can help you with it."

"... Uh..." Lucario mumbled, looking at the tiny sapling-like creature in front of him, "... Not eating enough vegetables?"

"Not that" Zerobi groaned before explaining things more specifically, "You know, that thing that separates you from us."

"... Oh, you mean my general distaste for berries!?" Lucario exclaimed excitedly.

"The reason why you wear pants!" Zerobi finally said, not knowing how she could get any clearer without giving it away.

"... Ah!" Lucario said while putting his hands together, "Oh yeah. I'm, like, a human stuck in the body of a Lucario."

"You..." Pikablu muttered confusedly from behind him, "... You're what?"

"Human" Lucario answered and turned around to look down at the Pikachu, "You know, like that kid over there, but much more manly."

"Are you... Honest?" Celebi asked in as sincere a tone as she could muster, given the situation.

"Can't afford not to be" Lucario replied while turning around again to face her, "With all those other weird abilities you've got, you can probably just read my mind, anyway..."

"Mind reading?" the Gallade scoffed with an amused huff, impersonating Pikablu's gruff voice, "That's just something you find in silly fiction."

"How fitting" Pikablu muttered again with distrust, "Sounds like just the kind of thing this guy came out of."

"I can attest to it" Zerobi said before everyone turned their eyes to her, making her jump a bit, "Well... Kind of... Anyway, surely Celebi has seen something like this happen before...?"

Everyone's eyes now turned to Celebi, awaiting her decisive response.

"... Forgive me, but I have never even heard of such a thing!" Celebi said with shock.

"Figures..." Lucario sighed disappointedly, "Fine. Give me, like, a massage or something and we'll call things even."

"I don't think you understand" Zerobi said sharply, Celebi once again recoiling in disgust over Lucario's request, "If even Celebi hasn't heard of it, it simply doesn't exist."

"We're back on this, again?" Lucaro replied with a tired sigh, "The Pokeball didn't affect me. Explain that."

"Neither did my claw, and it's not because you're human!" Zerobi said, quickly looking away from Celebi's curious stare, "... Face it, weird things happen, and there doesn't have to be but one conclusion."

"Excuse me, but as interesting as this all is..." Pikablu suddenly interrupted while stepping in between the three debating Pokèmon, "... There are more pressing matters at hand."

"Finally! Someone's saying what we're all thinking!" the Gallade exhaled in relief and followed Pikablu, "If I don't get treatment soon, this might leave a mark for WEEKS!"

"See, that's why you'll always be uncle sissy" Kabuta explained with a disappointed tone, "I lost an arm, and you don't hear me whining!"

"My beauty does not simply just grow back, and neither will my career!" the Gallade argued, making both daughter and father instinctively facepalm.

"... At any rate..." Pikablu continued, annoyed by the unnecessary interruption, "We should move. If the trainer wakes up, we'll have to knock him out again."

"Hah!" Lucario exclaimed with a nasty cough, "Y-You're saying that like that'd be a bad thing..."

"Let's just get going" Pikablu sighed, personally not minding giving the trainer one last headbutt for good luck but reluctant in doing so in front of Celebi, "In the meantime, tell us in detail about this whole 'human' thing."

Lucario grumbled over having to stress his throat even further as he began to explain his situation, all of them moving away from the battlefield in the meantime. Celebi looked back one last time at her defeated trainer, not knowing whether to apologize or inflict his body with an inconvenient disease. In the end, she simply followed the others with a delighted expression on her face. In a million years, she would never have guessed that she would one day have so many friends.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter End Notes:





"... Begin."

"Our efforts are going nowhere, sir. We are at the end of our ropes."


"However, if we were to request assistance from our Unova branches... Things would go a lot smoother."

"Hmpf... Bloody foreigners. Are we truly in such need of awkward dual bug-types?"

"... Insolence! Hilbert is a trainer more worthy of the title 'champion' than any other!"

"Hmpf... I witnessed Brendan decimate the Elite Four with my own eyes. Are you saying that he should continue trying to capture a SINGLE Lucario? You are wasting his talents."

"Don't underestimate him, and don't forget that even your precious Red failed!"


"Sir, placing more effort into finding this creature will not make it happen any faster. As he is wanted by the police, we should just let things take their natural course before intervening."

"Diverting our attention towards the Lucario was a mistake. Lower the priority."

"Yes, sir!"

"S-Sir! I'm certain that if you just give us more resources and time-"

"You have been given enough."

"... Yes, sir!"

"Meeting adjourned."

"All... All hail Giovanni: The Second!"

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