AGNPH Stories

The Human Species by RingsOfSaturn


Story Notes:

It was a quiet night when Deoxys descended from the heavens.
Believed to not be of this world, it went on a rampage, leaving death and destruction in its wake.
Finally defeated by an unknown force, the tragedy of unparalleled magnitude it created remains in the heart of every human.
To make sure that something like this will never happen again, every wild Pokèmon powerful enough to cause such mayhem must be captured, controlled or killed.
Needless to say, this year has been a bad year for Legendaries. This year has also been a bad year for Champion Trainers.
But my year... Has been... THE WORST! 

Author's Chapter Notes:


Fearsome Four Mienfoo

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With Zerobi still recovering from her mental breakdown and Lucario's brain having been scrambled from the loud noise, Snivy finally felt that he had gained control of the situation.

"Don't bother running, there's no escape..." Snivy snickered as he raised one of his extremely small arms menacingly, "Give up now, you've made a lot of friends on the police force that want to meet you personally! And when they're done, you might run into a few more in the afterlife!"

"Damn it! We just got to run!" Zerobi shouted in a panicky voice before she suddenly dashed off while shooting Lucario a quick glance, "Come on!" Lucario didn't have time to think, instinctually following her.

"Stay a little longer!" Snivy yelled as he tossed himself forward, shooting out two vines from his hands that hit Lucario's back. Lucario kept running, but the vines quickly crawled around his back and wrapped around his torso.

"How'd you know I needed a belt!?" Lucario laughed before he felt a jerk in his abdomen as the vines threatened to halt his movement. Instead he started running harder, and Snivy's light body caused him to be pulled along. Lucario looked back and saw the slippery lizard dragging on the ground behind him, still keeping a strong hold.

"Let go, you slimy... Scaly..." Lucario yelled as he noticed the vines were crawling down his body.

"No! Don't let them constrict you!" Zerobi shouted, but it was too late as Lucario suddenly felt his legs tighten up. He tripped and crashed on the ground as Snivy swiftly slithered up to him. As he was creating more vines, he sensed danger and made a leap backwards to avoid the fast punch that whisked by him.

"A fist?" Snivy asked with a snide smile, "What's wrong? I thought you liked my blood!"

"I liked it a lot more when you were keeping your mouth shut during battle..." Zerobi mumbled before hunching over and quickly severing the vines around Lucario's legs.

"Hmpf!" Snivy scoffed loudly as he leaped towards the two of them, holding two vines in each hand and getting ready to seal them both. However, his plans were interrupted as Lucario stood up and turned around at the same time, extending his right leg in a spinning motion and hitting Snivy square in the head with a roundhouse kick. He was sent flying and was about to hit a pole of some kind of pole sticking out of the ground as he suddenly twisted around it and grabbed a hold with his snake-like body.

"Y-You..." he stammered as several leaves spread from his body, making Zerobi flinch while Lucario remained unaware and unaffected. However, Snivy's vision began to darken as he passed out from the powerful blow to his head, and fell down to the ground.

"Huh..." Zerobi said as she looked at Snivy and remembered how much trouble he had given her seven years ago, "He must be getting old..." She blinked twice in rapid succession before they started running again.

"About time one of these things went down!" Lucario shouted triumphantly while they ran past a few startled onlookers, "Roundhouse kicks to the head are super effective! I should write this down..." Zerobi didn't even smile as they kept running in silence, Lucario noticing that her eyes were a bit more emptier than usual, as if her earlier tears had cleaned them out. He had been too busy in his own thoughts to hear the conversation she and the lizard had earlier, but thought that things would be fine as long as he beat it up. Seeing her like this made him realize that something had left a deep lasting impact on her.

"Hey, you don't look so good..." Lucario started before suddenly noticing a strange sensation all around them, "Speaking of not-so-good, I sense a couple of strong beings approaching us."

"... What?" Zerobi asked in a worried voice as she snapped out of her inner cocoon, "A couple? Four of them!? WHERE!?"

"Uh..." Lucario mumbled while trying to make sense out of the weird feeling he had, "Not really sure. Here, there... Everywhere?"

"We don't stand a chance if they find us!" Zerobi shouted as she took a sharp turn past a large house, "Come on! Let's run faster!"

"Warn me about the turns!" Lucario responded as he stumbled in the wrong direction, struggling to keep up. He suddenly felt the odd sensations converge somehow, and saw that Zerobi had stopped a few feet in front of him. He ran up to her before stopping as well, seeing that something ahead of them that were blocking their way.

"Fearless! Fit! Formidable! Flawless!" one of them yelled. It had the appearance of a humanoid ferret with fine fur in soft yellow and wine red colors.

"Fearsome! Ferocious! Frantic! Forceful!" another one continued. It appeared that they were all the same kind of Pokèmon, perhaps even twins due to their many similarities.

"Feisty! Festive! Fuzzy! Friendly!" the third one kept going. Their voices went from strong and masculine to meek yet full of determination, so Lucario quickly gave up on determining their genders.

"... Uh, forgetful...?" the fourth one whispered in a low tone, making the other three stare angrily at him.

"The Fierce Fighting Force has assembled!" they all shouted in unison, each striking an individual pose.

"... As you can see, they're insanely silly, but-" Zerobi groaned with a bright blush appearing on her face, resisting the urge of slapping her forehead despite her dangerous claws.

"Don't worry, I can tell" Lucario interrupted as just being near them made him tingle all over, "They're damn powerful."

"The four Mienfoo..." Zerobi said quietly as they eyed her intently, "I saw them take down a Dragonite and Flygon in a heartbeat once..."

"Uh... You don't have some long-lost ally that's going to jump in and bail us out of this?" Lucario asked jokingly, "You know, just to save me the surprise?

"Heh... I guess this is it..." Zerobi chortled as her sanity started decreasing, "First Kojondo, and now I'll be taken down by four fighting-types... What a way to go!"

"Fighting... Types...?" Lucario mumbled questioningly, "They're unlike all those others things we fought... How?"

"Come on!" Zerobi shouted as her impending doom whittled away her patience, "You're a fighting-type!"

"I sure am!" Lucairo responded cheerfully, "Not only that - I'm a winning-type, too!"

"I assume that you are not willing to come with us quietly!" one of the Mienfoo said loudly, the four of them still remaining immobile.

"You assume correctly!" Lucario shouted back as he struck a battle pose of his own, "Now, let's get started!"

"Uh..." Zerobi said as she took a step away from the eager Lucario, "This Lucario does not represent me... I'll go quietly."

"Affirmative! Take out the brute!" another Mienfoo yelled as it suddenly dashed towards the Lucario who was busy staring at his partner in disbelief.

The Mienfoo delivered a punch as fast a lightning directly at Lucario's face. Quickly yet lightly pushing its arm to the side, Lucario made the punch miss him completely as he hit the Mienfoo's leg with a short kick, making it stumble a bit. Suddenly Lucario began pounding away, attacking with a flurry of hooks to its head and ending with an uppercut that made it soar up into the air. Not wasting a moment, Lucario jumped up and kicked the Mienfoo straight forward, sending it flying past its stunned friends and crash into the wall of a nearby house.

"B-Bro! You'll regret that!" the second Mienfoo yelled as it ran towards Lucario. Also preparing to simply punch him in the face, Lucario ducked and spun around to deliver a leg sweep. The Mienfoo lost balance as both its legs flew up in the air and it fell on the ground. Instantly, Lucario raised his own leg high above his own head before dropping it on the head of the Mienfoo in front of him, burrowing it into the dirt.

"W-What the..." Zerobi stammered at this unexpected turn of events.

"Hah! What kind of fighting style was that? Dumb fuck-fu?" Lucario laughed as the Mienfoo clutched the back of his head in pain and the others simply stood and stared at them.

"Far stronger than the detectors said! Surround him!" the third Mienfoo shouted as the two remaining split off in different directions and was in front of Lucario as well as to his side.

"Pathetic! You're gonna surround me with only two people?" Lucario chuckled as the two of them began approaching him. The one to his side suddenly made a small leap towards him, preparing a jump kick.

Lucario took a step toward the Mienfoo in front of him, making the jumping one miss. The Mienfoo tried to ram him with his entire body while Lucario struck a powerful blow at the side of his head. The Mienfoo bumped into Lucario, but soon collapsed from the trauma to his head as Lucario saw the other one jumping at him again.

"You like staying airborne, huh?" he said, crouching down as far as possible. Waiting until the Mienfoo was directly above him, he sprung up and grabbed it from beneath, pushing it up into the air. He quickly realized his mistake as he didn't manage to get a grip of the Mienfoo's right leg, and it came down and struck him across the chest. Lucario became temporarily stunned as the Mienfoo used him as a foothold and jumped away. Lucario was thrown down to the ground, but quickly regained his footing as the Mienfoo once again jumped towards him.

"Using the same attack three times in a row!? Seems that you have mastered dumb fuck-fu!" Lucario yelled defiantly before jumping slightly higher than the Mienfoo. The moment he was directly above it he struck down with a mighty stomp. The Mienfoo tried its best to remain conscious, but combining the hit from the Lucario's feet with the hard ground proved to be too much for its head.

Lucario did not have time to celebrate as he sensed a large amount of aura rushing at him. Sidestepping instinctively, he saw a large orange sphere of some kind fly past him from behind, hitting the side of a building further away and causing a great explosion. Knowing how close it was for him to be at the center of it, he spun around and saw the Mienfoo he had sweeped still lying on the ground, but holding out his arm in Lucario's direction.

"You... Shall... Not..." the Mienfoo stammered with a furious stare.

"Hahaha..." Lucario snickered with an agitated tone, "... You call that an Aura Sphere? No... THIS IS AN AURA SPHERE!" Lucario thrust his right hand forward as an explosion of blue fire engulfed it. The Mienfoo kept staring as Lucario crouched down, screaming in agony.

"Oh, for the love of..." Zerobi groaned while the Mienfoo slowly rose to its feet.

"AAARGHHHH!" Lucario wailed, knowing that he would not be able to keep fighting like this, "STOP HIM! CUT HIM! GRAAAHHH!"

"I can't!" Zerobi shouted with a panicked tone, "I'll get blood on me!"

"SUCK IT UP!" Lucario screamed as he saw the Mienfoo charge up another attack, "DO SOMETHING!"

"I-I don't want to become your accomplice..." Zerobi kept going, shaking in terror as she saw the attack that had once burned through her back and chest in action.

"BITCH, I'M YOUR ACCOMPLICE!" Lucario bellowed. Something finally gave way within Zerobi, and she quickly ran up to the Mienfoo. It gave her a silent glance before being completely frozen by the cold wind she exhaled.

"Geez, finally..." Lucario growled as the most excruciating pain in his hand subsided."

"I'm sorry..." Zerobi said softly as she approached Lucario, "After seeing Eve and Snivy I guess I'm still a bit... Shattered..."

"... So?" Lucario asked as he stood up like nothing had happened, "Are we going to keep running, or what?" Zerobi responded by gulping loudly before the two of them began running once more, leaving four failed fighters behind them.

"I don't get it!" Zerobi shouted as they ran through a long alley, "Those four are famous around these parts for being extremely powerful! You even said so yourself!"

"Sure, they were strong..." Lucario shouted back, "But I'm stronger! Not to mention they fought like drunken sailors..."

"... Where the hell did that strength come from!?" Zerobi asked in anger spawned from confusion, "Why didn't you use that against Suicune!?"

"I told you, I never even had a clue on how to fight something like that!" Lucario replied, "When it comes to blocking punches and countering kicks, you'll never find anyone better!"

"You... I don't know what to sa-" Zerobi stared before interrupting herself, "HEADS UP!" An odd figure was standing in front of them at the end of the alley. Lucario dismissed it as another humanoid creature, but slowly began to notice something odd about it as they got nearer. Apart from having brightly yellow fur in contrast to his deep blue, as well as a chest noticeable due to three large things sticking out of it... It looked just like him!

"W-What's going..." the creature stammered with a very soft and silky voice.

"You're... Me!?" Lucario blurted out as he stopped himself, Zerobi following his lead.

"We have no time for this, the police will be back any moment!" Zerobi yelled desperately, pushing the frozen Lucario forward, "Snap out of it, it's just another Lucario!"

"Are you being chased by the police!?" the other Lucario asked in a startled way.

"Yeah! Sorry we can't stay and chat, but-" Zerobi continued before being interrupted by the new Lucario grabbing a hold of her arm as well as Lucario's.

"Quick! In here!" it said, dragging the two of them to a nearby house where the door stood open. They entered it quickly as the Lucario slammed the door behind them, shutting them off from the rest of the world and closing them in pitch black darkness.

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Chapter End Notes:

"C-Chief Snivy! Are you OK!?"

"... Ugh... What... Zerobi...?"

"Zerobi and her accomplice are currently engaging the fighting four, they will soon be apprehended! Can I get you an icepack, or..."

"... One kick and I was down...�

"... Excuse me?"

"... No, not even a kick... He spun around... How the hell did he go from lying down to kicking me with perfect aim...?"

"Snivy! Are you alright?"

"... Shut up! Do I look alright!? That kick was like being hit in the neck by a concentrated boulder, damn it!"

"... Chief?"

"I fear Zerobi's accomplice might be a bigger problem than Zerobi herself... Who is currently stationed here?"

"Uh... The fighting four... The Scoleri brothers... 'Living Legend' Ry-Ann... And me, of course."

"... That's it?"

"With the fighting four, that's more than enough!"

"... No. No, it isn't. Send everyone."

"... Everyone?"


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