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Red Dawn by
Rated:PG-13 [Reviews: 2]

Summary:

A Poochyenna and his newfound friends try to make it in the world, and try to discover more about the "Red Dawn" and much more.

  1. Chapter 1: Cole and Scar (3577 words) [Reviews: 2]

  2. Chapter 2: Mary (2826 words)

  3. Chapter 3: Rachel (4249 words)

  4. Chapter 4: Imposter (3605 words)

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  • Reviews (2)
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  •  
    Reviewer: ziegles
    Date:Jun 5 2014 Chapter:Chapter 1: Cole and Scar
    I have to give credit here, this is a great start! You are a natural for smooth narration. There is a fair amount of mystery that makes me want to stick with this story until the last page. Your characters seem good, and your skill in dialogue matches your competence in narration. Be careful about tenses and stick to just one; you went between past and present several times. That is not to say that you cannot use both in the story. If you do that do it sparingly, and use it for the effect. There are also a few minor errors with quote punctuation and the like, so just be sure that you know all the rules and that you proofread thoroughly. Anyway, this is a great start and I look forward to the next installment. Thanks for the good read Xell!
    Author's Response:

    Gramar and tensing fixed, thank you for reading ^^

     
  •  
    The Wild-Card!
    Reviewer: Captain_Dragonuv
    Date:Jun 28 2014 Chapter:Chapter 1: Cole and Scar
    An interesting find. Dramatic opening, quality characters, and suspense! Some of it was a bit rushed though, and some of the formatting and breakers could use a little touch-up, but other than that great start.
    Author's Response:

    For my frist fic that I actually feel interested in writing, it may seem a little rushed... But I'm okay with that, because I am constantly improving my writing skill. Thanks for the review, I will take it to heart and work from your criticism!