Talk of Many Things
"The time has come..."
...the walrus said, "to talk of many things: of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax; of cabbages and kings."
-------
The weather had cleared up sufficiently for us to leave the lodge. Indeed, the temperature had increased substantially over the preceding week, until it was now a balmy 60 degrees. A few hours earlier, we had left behind the last of the melting snow, and the weather we were now seeing felt more like late spring than late autumn. Our new companion, Miranda, and her Happiny, Francisca-who equally happily responded to "Fran," "Franny," "Sissie," and "hey, you"-were firmly in tow. It turned out that Miranda was one of those optimistic sorts; or at least, that was my interpretation of the fact that she had no plan, few supplies, and only the vaguest idea where the pokémon on her "wish list" laired. Despite this, her smile rarely left her face, and she easily fell into my team's travel routine, pitching in wherever she thought she could help. Indeed, if she was any more helpful, she'd have driven us completely mad!
Firmly on the positive side of the ledger, though, was the fact that her knowledge of pokémon medicine helped Beni and I finally nail down the ideal diet for our happy little band. More accurately, since the most variety we could usually count on was fresh water fish instead of salt water fish, the proper supplements for our diet to contain. Cammy had been looking a bit wan for weeks before we had been snowed in, though she had insisted that she was fine. After only a few minutes of visual examination, Miranda declared that she was suffering from calcium deficiency, and had pulled a small bottle of tablets from her satchel. After only one tablet, Cammy was good as new and taking pains to demonstrate it to all of us.
In fact... that was the start of the problem. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"It doesn't look like we're getting any less lost as we go on," I finally decided, shaking my head in self-disgust. I turned back to Beni, who had an exhausted-looking Miranda sprawled across her back. "We may as well make camp nearby, while we still have light to do it. It looks like rain, too," I added with singular displeasure.
It had been my idea to try to take a shortcut through a forest rather than follow the roads. My motive had been two-fold. In the first place, I'm far, far more comfortable on natural paths than I am on man-made roads. Secondly, it was my fond hope that one or more of the pokémon Miranda was looking for would turn up. In fairness to myself, that had been the case, and as a consequence, Miranda had a newly captured Aipom in a pokeball in her satchel. She had been very pleased at the time, but that was four hours ago. One thing we'd determined over the course of the last week was that Miranda had no endurance, and walking even a few miles tired her out terribly. Sissie, of course, seemed to have boundless energy, but even that was somewhat muted as she perched carefully in Beni's mane.
*I think that would be best,* Beni agreed in answer to my question. *If it were just us, I'd say to push on...* She shrugged her shoulders carefully. I nodded my understanding.
"Alright, Cammy, Venus, time to go to work!" I called, calling them from their pokeballs. They appeared in the typical flash of red light, and Venus tackled me with a hug. I patted her on the head and then set her back on the ground. "We need to set up," I told them.
"Okay!" Cammy replied, eagerly.
The sky grew darker until it was certain in my mind that a true torrent was on its way, though only a few drops had fallen. Camp was assembled very quickly, and I was otherwise quite satisfied until I realized something was missing.
"Where's your tent, Miranda?"
Miranda spread her hands open in a gesture of embarrassment. "I didn't bring one," she admitted.
I found a tree and leaned against it. "Why not?" I asked, keeping my voice carefully level. I was equally annoyed with myself as I ran a quick inventory; I had seen all of her belongings except her clothing, and though she had a sleeping bag, there had been no tent there, a fact which, had I noticed it, I would have fixed, by aiming for a nearer town rather than striking directly for the port.
"I didn't realize I needed one until I started..."
"You didn't buy one later?"
"Well... I also didn't think I needed money..."
*Don't kill her yet, Zach,* Beni counseled me. *Remember what you were like when I got hold of you?*
The memories of that time were enough to banish my annoyance. I had been, if anything, more naïve than Miranda. At least the junior Pokemon Nurse had the sense to be embarrassed about it. I had been brashly confident that I was able to live without a tent even in the winter, and without Beni there that first night, I would have frozen to death long before morning because of it. As it was, the foolishness had nearly cost me my left hand, and had firmly embedded in me a willingness to avoid taking chances.
"Fine," I sighed. "We'll fix that problem the next time we hit a city."
Dinner was a carefully prepared "wild salad," as Cammy had dubbed it, comprised of those edible plants within a reasonable distance of camp lightly sprinkled with some balsamic vinegar. This was a typical standby for Rangers in the field, and explains a long-standing mystery for tourists visiting the area near the Academy; they frequently wonder why so many camping stores stock shelves and shelves of balsamic vinegar bottles. For myself, I never really favored it, but the alternative was usually fish, and when an excuse came to eat anything else, I generally took it.
Miranda was already yawning again when we finished, though she was trying to hide it.
"I think we'd best get to bed," I declared, glancing around at my team. They nodded, giving no sign that it was far earlier than we would usually retire. Indeed, Cammy made an exaggerated stretching gesture and yawn of her own, to help fuel the deception. The last thing we wanted was Miranda wearing herself out trying to keep up with the rest of us, and all of us understood the rigors of traveling cross-country for the uninitiated. They shortly piled into the tent one after another, leaving only Beni and me sitting by the fire. Eying the already full tent, Beni looked up at me with an undeniable smile of amusement. "I think," she said in her own language, not bothering to send it psychically, "I shall return to my pokeball for the night." She snorted and shook her fur. "I also suspect that you will wish you had one to sleep in tonight, too," she added cryptically.
It didn't hit me until after I got into my tent and saw Miranda's clothes folded up neatly in a corner next to her prone form. See, I'm not stupid, but until then, it hadn't occurred to me that if Miranda was sleeping in my tent, and I was sleeping in my tent, we'd be sleeping in the same tent. Fortunately for my own sense of modesty, she was already asleep, and so I stripped down, keeping a close eye on her to make sure she didn't turn around. I rarely felt more nervous than I did at that moment. Surprisingly, that nervousness failed to abate as I covered myself with my sleeping bag. Venus had curled up on my chest, as was her now customary position (when we weren't trying more, um, active positions), and unlike me, seemed quite at her ease. I dismissed my nervousness as nothing more than the lingering concerns about Miranda's presence, and made an effort to fall asleep.
* * *
Cammy couldn't sleep, surprisingly. She usually found it quite easy to drift off, but this time, an unusual feeling prevented her from sleeping. It was not an unknown feeling, especially soon after she had evolved into Lucario, but since she had first slept with Zach, she had felt it only rarely since. It was an itching sensation, almost, centered entirely on her groin, and the only way she knew how to deal with it was to wake Zach up and ask him. He'd offered to buy her a book that would show her how to take care of it herself, among other things... though he had stuttered when he'd offered, and had looked deathly afraid of taking it up to the register... but she had declined. Why did she need it? She had her trainer, and he did quite well, thank you. Still, it had been a week or more since they'd last had sex and the dose had worn off long since.
Smiling at the thought, Cammy looked over at Zach's sleeping face. He'd been reluctant to allow her and Venus into his sleeping bag, though they normally slept like that on the road, but Venus had insisted. Because of their relative warmth, the sleeping bag was entirely unzipped, rather more like a blanket than a sack, and they were all comfortably snuggled up under it. Venus was even curled up on Zach's chest, sucking her thumb and holding her false maw with the other hand. Which was cute, but did nothing to relieve her problem. She understood the mechanics of how to-she believed the expression was "get herself off,"-but she didn't especially want to. It didn't feel anywhere near as nice.
Looking at Zach prompted an idea, though. If he was as he usually was at this time of night... she reached down and found something warm and hard. Just the thing, she thought to herself with a mental giggle. A few gentle motions had Venus curled up against Zach's side instead, and Cammy straddling her trainer. There was something very arousing, she decided, about the fact that he was asleep and totally unaware of what she was about to do.
* * *
Unfortunately for Cammy and the rest of us, someone else wasn't totally asleep anymore. Miranda, naturally a light sleeper, had started to awaken at Cammy's first movements. As Cammy moved more vigorously, she came fully awake, to a sight which stunned her. The Lucario actually seemed to be... seemed to be...!
"What the hell are you doing?!" she shouted. This was, of course, when I woke up.
"What's going on?" I asked muzzily. For the literarily challenged, "muzzily" means to mumble somewhat fuzzily. My eyes came into focus and I found Cammy impaled on my cock, looking guiltily over at Miranda. The girl was sitting up and glaring-at me!
"You foul, perverted excuse for a human," she spat, and stormed out before I could come up with a retort.
* * *
Hidden eyes watched the naked girl's departure, amber slits of malevolent glee following her moves until the forest swallowed the last traces of her passage. Then, the owner of the eyes departed to warn certain interested others of her coming.
* * *
Daylight arrived and Miranda still hadn't returned to the campsite.
*You must really have shocked her,* Beni observed, devouring her breakfast without seeming even remotely surprised. Cammy and I had gone to wake her up after Miranda had fled, and she had-wisely, it had seemed at the time-counseled me to let her come back on her own; after all, she had been stark naked, and surely she'd return at least for her clothing. I had spent the intervening time breaking camp, preparing what I would say to her when she got back, making breakfast, and plotting what to do about Cammy.
When she had first become interested in me, her energy and exuberance had been a welcome change from Beni's half-guilty advances and Venus's aggression. Until recently, I had assumed everything was normal, but in the past month I had started to realize that something was seriously wrong with Cammy, though it had taken last night's experiences to bring the realization to the surface. The Cammy I had raised from a Riolu would never have considered doing anything like that, especially in front of witnesses, sleeping or not. While even at the beginning she had possessed little reserve, at all times she had made certain to keep the nature of our relationship secret. After her experiences with Cynthia and Venus near Celestic, I had taken great pains to explain to her what the typical human response would be to the secret getting out. I still wasn't sure why the lady Champion had not had her guards arrest me for abuse or some similar charge, but both of us-Cammy, and myself-knew we couldn't count on that sort of luck a second time.
Which made her behavior last night solidly out of character for her. Her claim, which I believed to an extent, was that her needs had overwhelmed her, but something inside me told me that wasn't the whole case. Of course, if something was medically or psychologically wrong with her (besides, perhaps, a mental disconnect between actions and consequences), the person nearest to us and most capable of determining that was Miranda herself. In just a few days I had come to have significant faith in her abilities, and so it wasn't for merely one reason that I waited for the would-be nurse to return.
Unfortunately, to draw this introspection full-circle, she hadn't. Returned, that is. A fact which worried me, since she couldn't have gone too far, and until dawn, the fire would have been clearly visible through the trees. Even now, I hadn't taken the care I usually did selecting firewood, and so a tall plume of smoke was rising to give her a marker by daylight, as well. Given even half a brain, anyone ought to have been able to find us. On the other hand, I had had the strangest feeling that we were being watched, most of the time I had waited for Miranda to return. If something, or someone, had been waiting outside the camp for Miranda...
"I'd better go after her," I decided, finishing my thoughts aloud.
Beni nodded. *Take Venus,* she instructed. *And Lorelei, of course. Cammy and I will wait here in case she returns.*
"Right," I agreed. I held out an arm and Venus clambered up it to my shoulder. Of all of us, she had been the only one to get a full night's sleep, only realizing something was amiss when she'd come out for breakfast. Now, she made a series of complex gestures, promising to help find Miranda. I nodded at her with a smile. "We're off," I announced. Grabbing my coat from where it was hanging and slinging it over my other shoulder, I started off, with Venus holding fast to my earlobe to keep her balance.
* * *
Miranda was not happy. In fact, had there been someone around for her to discuss things with, she would have observed that this was most likely the single most uncomfortable, frustrating, nerve-wracking and infuriating night of her life. First she had found out that that good-for-nothing Coordinator was screwing his pokemon, then she had had the idiot idea of storming out of the camp without a stitch on, and lastly... She glared around at the final indignity. From outside the hastily-constructed wooden cage, many Aipoms stared in at her, each laughing uproariously at her situation.
"And lastly," she sighed to herself, "I find myself captured by the irate family of the Aipom I captured." After the last several hours of contemplation, she had determined that she would almost rather have been back at camp, despite the awkwardness that might have entailed. In hindsight, she could almost believe Zach's claim that he had been asleep; certainly, he had seemed more disoriented than could be accounted for by sex alone. But if that were the case, then that Lucario would have had to done it herself, which didn't seem probable. Miranda had not done an extensive study, but she was fairly certain that pokemon-human relationships of that nature were exceedingly rare, and any that she'd read about had been cases of humans abusing their own team.
A pokemon somewhat like an Aipom came close to the cage; this one had two tails with pseudo-hands on their ends, but otherwise seemed very similar to an Aipom. Her attention wasn't drawn to the hands, however, but to the things he was holding: two long, silky, extremely delicate head feathers-from a Pidgeot, she thought. Apparently, it was time for her torture to resume.
* * *
The one sound I truly wasn't expecting to hear during my search was riotous, nearly hysterical laughter. In fact, the first time I heard it, I wheeled around to put my back to a tree and groped for Lorelei's pokeball, certain that we were about to be attacked by some bizarre new pokemon. Now, the fifth time I heard it, I reacted only by noting that it was still getting louder, and therefore, closer. Venus had stopped shaking after the third time, but still seemed unaccountably disturbed. We stopped by a river to take our bearings, and as I began to stand, I noticed her nervously glancing around into the trees.
That was when I felt it. A chill ran down my spine, and suddenly I was hit with a feeling of pure terror. Never before had I been so scared; not in the cave with Claire, not lost on the mountaintop that one time with Beni, not facing Arceus... it was not even a clean fear, but a nauseating, gut-wrenching, cold sweat fear which made me wish I could pass out. It was as though someone had compressed every feeling of fear ever felt by anyone in the world into a sensation of dread so powerful it was physical. To this day, I cannot say I have ever been so ashamed of myself; I wept in fear, and cursed my own cowardice. I felt Venus leap from my shoulder and saw her take to the trees, and I recall feeling abandoned, and even more angry with myself for feeling that way.
Then, surprisingly, miraculously, the feeling stopped. Not completely, but faded, enough to be bearable and allow me to move. The weaker form of fear even felt slightly familiar. I heard noise coming from the direction that Venus had gone, and just as I made up my mind to follow her, she reappeared, this time dragging something large and purple with her in her false maw. She dropped it at my feet, and I considered it. Then I withdrew my pokedex and aimed it carefully at what was clearly a pokemon.
"Mismagius, the Magical Pokemon, and the evolved form of Misdreavus. Its cries sound like incantations. Those hearing it are tormented by headaches and hallucinations," the machine informed me tersely.
Misdreavus! That was why the feeling felt familiar! Ghost types always have a certain aura about them, for anyone other than their trainers; I don't know if it's something that's an actual part of them or not, but people feel a certain atavistic chill when we encounter them, which, after enough exposure, can transform into outright terror in certain people. My former roommate at the Academy had a Misdreavus partner, and by the time that the year was over and he had moved into a different dorm, I was a nervous wreck. Admittedly, this doesn't speak to my overwhelming courage, but I was greatly relieved to know that my fear had an outside cause, and not just an attack of cowardice.
"Good going, Venus," I congratulated the tiny Steel type. She beamed at me, and then tapped one of my empty pokeballs, miming throwing it at the crumpled form. I considered. Technically, my pokemon had battled and defeated it, which made it fair game for me to capture. I shrugged.
"If you say so," I said, and tossed the pokeball at Mismagius. Astonishingly, it didn't even rock once! "What did you do to it?" I asked Venus curiously. A series of complicated gestures followed, by which I understood her to be saying that she'd used Crunch on the ghost. Crunch, being a Dark-type attack, is strong against ghosts, whereas the majority of Ghost-type attacks are not overwhelmingly effective against Steel-types like Mawiles. This also possibly explained why Venus was largely unaffected by the fear which had paralyzed me.
The laughter started again, and I recalled our original purpose. Venus was already running towards the noise, bolstered by her recent victory, and I stopped only to retrieve my new Mismagius. When we found the source of the laughter, both of stopped in surprise.
"Miranda!" I shouted. The girl was inside a rickety wooden cage, surrounded by Aipom. The laughter was coming from Miranda herself, as an Ambipom sitting on top of the cage brushed long feathers all over her body, grinning manically.
"Don't... hahahahahah... stand there... heee hee hee hee... heeeeHELP me!" Miranda gasped around involuntary giggles. The Aipom charged at us, brandishing their tails threateningly. I looked down at Venus, and she shrugged before stepping out in front of me, turning her back towards the mischievous monkeys.
"Mawile," her false maw declared. The mass of Aipom tumbled to a halt six feet from my diminutive partner, and milled about, until an angry shout from Ambipom got them moving again.
"It's an illusion, idiots," he announced, goading them into an attack. I decided to take a more determined role in the matter.
"Lorelei, go!"
The Milotic appeared with a glow of red light, and the Aipom skidded to a stop again. Not quite far enough; nearly twenty feet of angry water serpent flung most of them to one side, and the few that were "lucky" enough to dodge it discovered what it's like to be on the wrong end of an Ice Beam. All things considered, Lorelei made it a bad day to be an Aipom. With his minions vanished, Ambipom was the only antagonist remaining, a fact which seemed to occur to him just at the same time as it occurred to me.
"You can't do this," he snarled, holding both his pseudo-hands outward in bulky fists. "I was chosen! I will be the one to rule this forest, and then, the world."
I sat down, hard, to keep from falling as laughter began to bubble up. The line was so clichéd, I couldn't help myself. I caught a dirty look from Miranda and took firm hold of myself. Standing, I did my best to project an air of disdain.
"Oh, reeeeeaaaaaally?" I asked, drawing the words out to emphasize my scorn. "Who said?" The Ambipom seemed unsurprised that a human had understood him.
"The forest spirits," he proclaimed haughtily.
That gave me pause for a moment. Then, the final piece of the puzzle fell together: my nervousness in the tent, the sense of being watched throughout the long night's vigil, and the attack just a few moments earlier. I pulled the newest pokeball off the strap and raised an eyebrow at the Ambipom. "This forest spirit?" I asked, and pressed the button on the sphere. A very disgruntled Mismagius appeared before us, and the Ambipom fell backward in shock.
"How... how did you?"
I jerked a thumb at Venus. "Don't look at me. Your 'forest spirit' jumped us a few yards back, and she took offense to the attack." I shrugged. "Guess they don't make forest spirits like they used to." Without giving Mismagius a second glance, I recalled it to my pokeball. As for Ambipom, he didn't seem to have a response for that, so I took advantage of the lull to examine the cage holding Miranda more carefully.
"Ingenious design," I mused. Though it had appeared very shoddy from a distance-and, to an extent, still seemed extremely unfinished-I found myself impressed with the care taken with the locking mechanism. Despite its frailty, no human would easily be able to unlock it from the outside. Especially if, as was Miranda's case, the human were bound hand and foot.
"Would you be less appreciative and GET ME OUT OF HERE?" the girl asked with commendable restraint. I flashed a grin at her.
"Nothing easier." A few seconds work with my utility knife had the bindings around the door severed. Without the bits of vine and yarn holding it up, it was as though an entire side of the trap fell away. I reached in and offered Miranda a hand. After a barely perceptible pause, she took it, and I pulled her to her feet.
"Now, for Ambipom," she muttered.
"Leave him," I ordered, handing her my coat so she could cover herself.
"Leave him? He kidnapped me, tortured me..."
"And you're in his territory. Besides, it's not entirely his fault; ghost-types have incredibly strong hypnotic abilities, and there's no telling how long Mismagius has been pulling this 'forest spirit' gag on him."
To give her credit, Miranda seemed to consider that for a moment.
"Fine," she muttered. "But don't expect me to be nice to him if I see him in a dark alley."
I gave her a grin that was all teeth and no humor. "Then, he'll be in your territory, and fair game." I walked over to Lorelei and gave her a self-conscious kiss on the forehead. "Well done, girl," I told her. She wriggled slightly, and I swear that she grinned at me. Then she tapped her nose on her pokeball and returned to its confines. I looked up to see Miranda giving me an odd look.
"You genuinely love them, don't you?" she asked. There was no accusation in her tone, and so I gave her the considered answer she deserved.
"Yes, like family."
"And more, some of them." That had an edge. I held out an arm for Venus to clamber up on while I thought about how to respond.
"Quite a lot more. If Beni were human, I think I'd marry her. Cammy is like a best friend, though one younger than me, with benefits." I gave Venus a grin, and a wink, so that she realized I wasn't ignoring her. I just didn't want to try to work out what my relationship to Venus was; I wasn't sure myself, and I don't think she was, either. "They're people, Miranda," I added softly. "Just like you or me. They may have four legs, or a funny face, or tails, or any number of things, but they're still people. They think, they feel; they worry, they fear, they hope, they dream. They can even love. I see no difference, anymore, between them and any other person. People, even trainers, underestimate their intelligence, but I've lived with them, spoken with them, and they're easily as smart as humans. We ignore them because they aren't as destructive as we are, because they don't see a need to carve hunks out of nature to build shopping malls or amusement parks, because they can live in the forests, the plains, and the oceans we think of as desolate wilderness." I cleared my throat as emotion threatened to clog it.
"I see." The edge was gone again, and in its place was a sort of wondering thoughtfulness. Her brow was wrinkled, and she was clearly thinking hard. Then she sighed. "I guess you're right," she admitted reluctantly.
"Glad you think so," came my attempt at nonchalance. I cocked my head to one side. "If you're feeling cooperative, though, there is a small problem I need your help with..."
* * *
Miranda and I arrived back at camp shortly after. She ducked into the tent to dress, shedding my coat with considerably less haste than she'd donned it, while I sat down with Cammy. Beni, of course, had met us a few minutes out, as soon as she'd felt me come near.
"Cammy," I began, keeping my voice carefully neutral and my gaze on the fire ring, "I want Miranda to have a look at you. You've acted strangely lately, and I'm concerned about what might be going on." I braced myself after I finished. When no explosion was forthcoming, I glanced up at Cammy to see an expression of... what? Surprise, maybe, and a bit of dismay, but there was also a solid amount of resignation as well.
"I understand," she replied without a hint of her usual levity. When I raised an eyebrow, she elaborated. "I've been feeling sick for weeks, and didn't want you to know." I shook my head, but didn't ask her to explain further. Her thoughts were on her face for all to read: trapped in the lodge, there was little I could have done for her had I known, and Cammy was the sort of person to not want me to worry if I can't do anything to help. Before I could answer, however, Miranda emerged, bearing with her a small box I'd seen in her baggage. I hadn't opened it, of course, but that lapse was soon repaired as she showed me her prize.
"It's one of the prototype hand diagnostic units made for testing humans and pokemon in the field," she announced proudly. "Nurse Joy-that is, the Nurse Joy of the Career Academy-gave it to me when I left so that I could test it for her." She smiled fondly down at the electronic device, much like a doting mother looks upon her newborn child. "Five minutes with this, and I can diagnose nearly anything that might be wrong with Cammy."
She spent much of that five minutes moving things that seemed to be suction cups all over Cammy's body. Acting much more like her old self, Cammy couldn't prevent a giggle emerging when Miranda placed one perilously close to her nipple.
"That's strange," the would-be nurse commented as she removed the suction cup-like things from Cammy's stomach. She stood and shook her head in bafflement.
"What?"
"I'm not sure what it is," Miranda confessed, diagnostic unit in her hands. "It's almost like..." She paled abruptly.
"What is it?" I asked again. A pang of fear froze my heart with dread.
"Well..." Hesitation was written on every feature of her face. "It's almost like a heartbeat."
"Wait a tick," I ordered, holding up a hand. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"It's impossible," Miranda denied flatly. Then her defiance faded slightly. "Still, if she were human..." She shifted the unit to one hand and pulled out a notebook with the other, flipping through it until she found what she was looking for. She glanced quickly back and forth between the two items, comparing something, and then closed the notebook again. "If she were human, these readings would suggest that Cammy, give or take a few days... is eight weeks pregnant."
There seemed no adequate response.
[To Be Continued]
...the walrus said, "to talk of many things: of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax; of cabbages and kings."
-------
The weather had cleared up sufficiently for us to leave the lodge. Indeed, the temperature had increased substantially over the preceding week, until it was now a balmy 60 degrees. A few hours earlier, we had left behind the last of the melting snow, and the weather we were now seeing felt more like late spring than late autumn. Our new companion, Miranda, and her Happiny, Francisca-who equally happily responded to "Fran," "Franny," "Sissie," and "hey, you"-were firmly in tow. It turned out that Miranda was one of those optimistic sorts; or at least, that was my interpretation of the fact that she had no plan, few supplies, and only the vaguest idea where the pokémon on her "wish list" laired. Despite this, her smile rarely left her face, and she easily fell into my team's travel routine, pitching in wherever she thought she could help. Indeed, if she was any more helpful, she'd have driven us completely mad!
Firmly on the positive side of the ledger, though, was the fact that her knowledge of pokémon medicine helped Beni and I finally nail down the ideal diet for our happy little band. More accurately, since the most variety we could usually count on was fresh water fish instead of salt water fish, the proper supplements for our diet to contain. Cammy had been looking a bit wan for weeks before we had been snowed in, though she had insisted that she was fine. After only a few minutes of visual examination, Miranda declared that she was suffering from calcium deficiency, and had pulled a small bottle of tablets from her satchel. After only one tablet, Cammy was good as new and taking pains to demonstrate it to all of us.
In fact... that was the start of the problem. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"It doesn't look like we're getting any less lost as we go on," I finally decided, shaking my head in self-disgust. I turned back to Beni, who had an exhausted-looking Miranda sprawled across her back. "We may as well make camp nearby, while we still have light to do it. It looks like rain, too," I added with singular displeasure.
It had been my idea to try to take a shortcut through a forest rather than follow the roads. My motive had been two-fold. In the first place, I'm far, far more comfortable on natural paths than I am on man-made roads. Secondly, it was my fond hope that one or more of the pokémon Miranda was looking for would turn up. In fairness to myself, that had been the case, and as a consequence, Miranda had a newly captured Aipom in a pokeball in her satchel. She had been very pleased at the time, but that was four hours ago. One thing we'd determined over the course of the last week was that Miranda had no endurance, and walking even a few miles tired her out terribly. Sissie, of course, seemed to have boundless energy, but even that was somewhat muted as she perched carefully in Beni's mane.
*I think that would be best,* Beni agreed in answer to my question. *If it were just us, I'd say to push on...* She shrugged her shoulders carefully. I nodded my understanding.
"Alright, Cammy, Venus, time to go to work!" I called, calling them from their pokeballs. They appeared in the typical flash of red light, and Venus tackled me with a hug. I patted her on the head and then set her back on the ground. "We need to set up," I told them.
"Okay!" Cammy replied, eagerly.
The sky grew darker until it was certain in my mind that a true torrent was on its way, though only a few drops had fallen. Camp was assembled very quickly, and I was otherwise quite satisfied until I realized something was missing.
"Where's your tent, Miranda?"
Miranda spread her hands open in a gesture of embarrassment. "I didn't bring one," she admitted.
I found a tree and leaned against it. "Why not?" I asked, keeping my voice carefully level. I was equally annoyed with myself as I ran a quick inventory; I had seen all of her belongings except her clothing, and though she had a sleeping bag, there had been no tent there, a fact which, had I noticed it, I would have fixed, by aiming for a nearer town rather than striking directly for the port.
"I didn't realize I needed one until I started..."
"You didn't buy one later?"
"Well... I also didn't think I needed money..."
*Don't kill her yet, Zach,* Beni counseled me. *Remember what you were like when I got hold of you?*
The memories of that time were enough to banish my annoyance. I had been, if anything, more naïve than Miranda. At least the junior Pokemon Nurse had the sense to be embarrassed about it. I had been brashly confident that I was able to live without a tent even in the winter, and without Beni there that first night, I would have frozen to death long before morning because of it. As it was, the foolishness had nearly cost me my left hand, and had firmly embedded in me a willingness to avoid taking chances.
"Fine," I sighed. "We'll fix that problem the next time we hit a city."
Dinner was a carefully prepared "wild salad," as Cammy had dubbed it, comprised of those edible plants within a reasonable distance of camp lightly sprinkled with some balsamic vinegar. This was a typical standby for Rangers in the field, and explains a long-standing mystery for tourists visiting the area near the Academy; they frequently wonder why so many camping stores stock shelves and shelves of balsamic vinegar bottles. For myself, I never really favored it, but the alternative was usually fish, and when an excuse came to eat anything else, I generally took it.
Miranda was already yawning again when we finished, though she was trying to hide it.
"I think we'd best get to bed," I declared, glancing around at my team. They nodded, giving no sign that it was far earlier than we would usually retire. Indeed, Cammy made an exaggerated stretching gesture and yawn of her own, to help fuel the deception. The last thing we wanted was Miranda wearing herself out trying to keep up with the rest of us, and all of us understood the rigors of traveling cross-country for the uninitiated. They shortly piled into the tent one after another, leaving only Beni and me sitting by the fire. Eying the already full tent, Beni looked up at me with an undeniable smile of amusement. "I think," she said in her own language, not bothering to send it psychically, "I shall return to my pokeball for the night." She snorted and shook her fur. "I also suspect that you will wish you had one to sleep in tonight, too," she added cryptically.
It didn't hit me until after I got into my tent and saw Miranda's clothes folded up neatly in a corner next to her prone form. See, I'm not stupid, but until then, it hadn't occurred to me that if Miranda was sleeping in my tent, and I was sleeping in my tent, we'd be sleeping in the same tent. Fortunately for my own sense of modesty, she was already asleep, and so I stripped down, keeping a close eye on her to make sure she didn't turn around. I rarely felt more nervous than I did at that moment. Surprisingly, that nervousness failed to abate as I covered myself with my sleeping bag. Venus had curled up on my chest, as was her now customary position (when we weren't trying more, um, active positions), and unlike me, seemed quite at her ease. I dismissed my nervousness as nothing more than the lingering concerns about Miranda's presence, and made an effort to fall asleep.
* * *
Cammy couldn't sleep, surprisingly. She usually found it quite easy to drift off, but this time, an unusual feeling prevented her from sleeping. It was not an unknown feeling, especially soon after she had evolved into Lucario, but since she had first slept with Zach, she had felt it only rarely since. It was an itching sensation, almost, centered entirely on her groin, and the only way she knew how to deal with it was to wake Zach up and ask him. He'd offered to buy her a book that would show her how to take care of it herself, among other things... though he had stuttered when he'd offered, and had looked deathly afraid of taking it up to the register... but she had declined. Why did she need it? She had her trainer, and he did quite well, thank you. Still, it had been a week or more since they'd last had sex and the dose had worn off long since.
Smiling at the thought, Cammy looked over at Zach's sleeping face. He'd been reluctant to allow her and Venus into his sleeping bag, though they normally slept like that on the road, but Venus had insisted. Because of their relative warmth, the sleeping bag was entirely unzipped, rather more like a blanket than a sack, and they were all comfortably snuggled up under it. Venus was even curled up on Zach's chest, sucking her thumb and holding her false maw with the other hand. Which was cute, but did nothing to relieve her problem. She understood the mechanics of how to-she believed the expression was "get herself off,"-but she didn't especially want to. It didn't feel anywhere near as nice.
Looking at Zach prompted an idea, though. If he was as he usually was at this time of night... she reached down and found something warm and hard. Just the thing, she thought to herself with a mental giggle. A few gentle motions had Venus curled up against Zach's side instead, and Cammy straddling her trainer. There was something very arousing, she decided, about the fact that he was asleep and totally unaware of what she was about to do.
* * *
Unfortunately for Cammy and the rest of us, someone else wasn't totally asleep anymore. Miranda, naturally a light sleeper, had started to awaken at Cammy's first movements. As Cammy moved more vigorously, she came fully awake, to a sight which stunned her. The Lucario actually seemed to be... seemed to be...!
"What the hell are you doing?!" she shouted. This was, of course, when I woke up.
"What's going on?" I asked muzzily. For the literarily challenged, "muzzily" means to mumble somewhat fuzzily. My eyes came into focus and I found Cammy impaled on my cock, looking guiltily over at Miranda. The girl was sitting up and glaring-at me!
"You foul, perverted excuse for a human," she spat, and stormed out before I could come up with a retort.
* * *
Hidden eyes watched the naked girl's departure, amber slits of malevolent glee following her moves until the forest swallowed the last traces of her passage. Then, the owner of the eyes departed to warn certain interested others of her coming.
* * *
Daylight arrived and Miranda still hadn't returned to the campsite.
*You must really have shocked her,* Beni observed, devouring her breakfast without seeming even remotely surprised. Cammy and I had gone to wake her up after Miranda had fled, and she had-wisely, it had seemed at the time-counseled me to let her come back on her own; after all, she had been stark naked, and surely she'd return at least for her clothing. I had spent the intervening time breaking camp, preparing what I would say to her when she got back, making breakfast, and plotting what to do about Cammy.
When she had first become interested in me, her energy and exuberance had been a welcome change from Beni's half-guilty advances and Venus's aggression. Until recently, I had assumed everything was normal, but in the past month I had started to realize that something was seriously wrong with Cammy, though it had taken last night's experiences to bring the realization to the surface. The Cammy I had raised from a Riolu would never have considered doing anything like that, especially in front of witnesses, sleeping or not. While even at the beginning she had possessed little reserve, at all times she had made certain to keep the nature of our relationship secret. After her experiences with Cynthia and Venus near Celestic, I had taken great pains to explain to her what the typical human response would be to the secret getting out. I still wasn't sure why the lady Champion had not had her guards arrest me for abuse or some similar charge, but both of us-Cammy, and myself-knew we couldn't count on that sort of luck a second time.
Which made her behavior last night solidly out of character for her. Her claim, which I believed to an extent, was that her needs had overwhelmed her, but something inside me told me that wasn't the whole case. Of course, if something was medically or psychologically wrong with her (besides, perhaps, a mental disconnect between actions and consequences), the person nearest to us and most capable of determining that was Miranda herself. In just a few days I had come to have significant faith in her abilities, and so it wasn't for merely one reason that I waited for the would-be nurse to return.
Unfortunately, to draw this introspection full-circle, she hadn't. Returned, that is. A fact which worried me, since she couldn't have gone too far, and until dawn, the fire would have been clearly visible through the trees. Even now, I hadn't taken the care I usually did selecting firewood, and so a tall plume of smoke was rising to give her a marker by daylight, as well. Given even half a brain, anyone ought to have been able to find us. On the other hand, I had had the strangest feeling that we were being watched, most of the time I had waited for Miranda to return. If something, or someone, had been waiting outside the camp for Miranda...
"I'd better go after her," I decided, finishing my thoughts aloud.
Beni nodded. *Take Venus,* she instructed. *And Lorelei, of course. Cammy and I will wait here in case she returns.*
"Right," I agreed. I held out an arm and Venus clambered up it to my shoulder. Of all of us, she had been the only one to get a full night's sleep, only realizing something was amiss when she'd come out for breakfast. Now, she made a series of complex gestures, promising to help find Miranda. I nodded at her with a smile. "We're off," I announced. Grabbing my coat from where it was hanging and slinging it over my other shoulder, I started off, with Venus holding fast to my earlobe to keep her balance.
* * *
Miranda was not happy. In fact, had there been someone around for her to discuss things with, she would have observed that this was most likely the single most uncomfortable, frustrating, nerve-wracking and infuriating night of her life. First she had found out that that good-for-nothing Coordinator was screwing his pokemon, then she had had the idiot idea of storming out of the camp without a stitch on, and lastly... She glared around at the final indignity. From outside the hastily-constructed wooden cage, many Aipoms stared in at her, each laughing uproariously at her situation.
"And lastly," she sighed to herself, "I find myself captured by the irate family of the Aipom I captured." After the last several hours of contemplation, she had determined that she would almost rather have been back at camp, despite the awkwardness that might have entailed. In hindsight, she could almost believe Zach's claim that he had been asleep; certainly, he had seemed more disoriented than could be accounted for by sex alone. But if that were the case, then that Lucario would have had to done it herself, which didn't seem probable. Miranda had not done an extensive study, but she was fairly certain that pokemon-human relationships of that nature were exceedingly rare, and any that she'd read about had been cases of humans abusing their own team.
A pokemon somewhat like an Aipom came close to the cage; this one had two tails with pseudo-hands on their ends, but otherwise seemed very similar to an Aipom. Her attention wasn't drawn to the hands, however, but to the things he was holding: two long, silky, extremely delicate head feathers-from a Pidgeot, she thought. Apparently, it was time for her torture to resume.
* * *
The one sound I truly wasn't expecting to hear during my search was riotous, nearly hysterical laughter. In fact, the first time I heard it, I wheeled around to put my back to a tree and groped for Lorelei's pokeball, certain that we were about to be attacked by some bizarre new pokemon. Now, the fifth time I heard it, I reacted only by noting that it was still getting louder, and therefore, closer. Venus had stopped shaking after the third time, but still seemed unaccountably disturbed. We stopped by a river to take our bearings, and as I began to stand, I noticed her nervously glancing around into the trees.
That was when I felt it. A chill ran down my spine, and suddenly I was hit with a feeling of pure terror. Never before had I been so scared; not in the cave with Claire, not lost on the mountaintop that one time with Beni, not facing Arceus... it was not even a clean fear, but a nauseating, gut-wrenching, cold sweat fear which made me wish I could pass out. It was as though someone had compressed every feeling of fear ever felt by anyone in the world into a sensation of dread so powerful it was physical. To this day, I cannot say I have ever been so ashamed of myself; I wept in fear, and cursed my own cowardice. I felt Venus leap from my shoulder and saw her take to the trees, and I recall feeling abandoned, and even more angry with myself for feeling that way.
Then, surprisingly, miraculously, the feeling stopped. Not completely, but faded, enough to be bearable and allow me to move. The weaker form of fear even felt slightly familiar. I heard noise coming from the direction that Venus had gone, and just as I made up my mind to follow her, she reappeared, this time dragging something large and purple with her in her false maw. She dropped it at my feet, and I considered it. Then I withdrew my pokedex and aimed it carefully at what was clearly a pokemon.
"Mismagius, the Magical Pokemon, and the evolved form of Misdreavus. Its cries sound like incantations. Those hearing it are tormented by headaches and hallucinations," the machine informed me tersely.
Misdreavus! That was why the feeling felt familiar! Ghost types always have a certain aura about them, for anyone other than their trainers; I don't know if it's something that's an actual part of them or not, but people feel a certain atavistic chill when we encounter them, which, after enough exposure, can transform into outright terror in certain people. My former roommate at the Academy had a Misdreavus partner, and by the time that the year was over and he had moved into a different dorm, I was a nervous wreck. Admittedly, this doesn't speak to my overwhelming courage, but I was greatly relieved to know that my fear had an outside cause, and not just an attack of cowardice.
"Good going, Venus," I congratulated the tiny Steel type. She beamed at me, and then tapped one of my empty pokeballs, miming throwing it at the crumpled form. I considered. Technically, my pokemon had battled and defeated it, which made it fair game for me to capture. I shrugged.
"If you say so," I said, and tossed the pokeball at Mismagius. Astonishingly, it didn't even rock once! "What did you do to it?" I asked Venus curiously. A series of complicated gestures followed, by which I understood her to be saying that she'd used Crunch on the ghost. Crunch, being a Dark-type attack, is strong against ghosts, whereas the majority of Ghost-type attacks are not overwhelmingly effective against Steel-types like Mawiles. This also possibly explained why Venus was largely unaffected by the fear which had paralyzed me.
The laughter started again, and I recalled our original purpose. Venus was already running towards the noise, bolstered by her recent victory, and I stopped only to retrieve my new Mismagius. When we found the source of the laughter, both of stopped in surprise.
"Miranda!" I shouted. The girl was inside a rickety wooden cage, surrounded by Aipom. The laughter was coming from Miranda herself, as an Ambipom sitting on top of the cage brushed long feathers all over her body, grinning manically.
"Don't... hahahahahah... stand there... heee hee hee hee... heeeeHELP me!" Miranda gasped around involuntary giggles. The Aipom charged at us, brandishing their tails threateningly. I looked down at Venus, and she shrugged before stepping out in front of me, turning her back towards the mischievous monkeys.
"Mawile," her false maw declared. The mass of Aipom tumbled to a halt six feet from my diminutive partner, and milled about, until an angry shout from Ambipom got them moving again.
"It's an illusion, idiots," he announced, goading them into an attack. I decided to take a more determined role in the matter.
"Lorelei, go!"
The Milotic appeared with a glow of red light, and the Aipom skidded to a stop again. Not quite far enough; nearly twenty feet of angry water serpent flung most of them to one side, and the few that were "lucky" enough to dodge it discovered what it's like to be on the wrong end of an Ice Beam. All things considered, Lorelei made it a bad day to be an Aipom. With his minions vanished, Ambipom was the only antagonist remaining, a fact which seemed to occur to him just at the same time as it occurred to me.
"You can't do this," he snarled, holding both his pseudo-hands outward in bulky fists. "I was chosen! I will be the one to rule this forest, and then, the world."
I sat down, hard, to keep from falling as laughter began to bubble up. The line was so clichéd, I couldn't help myself. I caught a dirty look from Miranda and took firm hold of myself. Standing, I did my best to project an air of disdain.
"Oh, reeeeeaaaaaally?" I asked, drawing the words out to emphasize my scorn. "Who said?" The Ambipom seemed unsurprised that a human had understood him.
"The forest spirits," he proclaimed haughtily.
That gave me pause for a moment. Then, the final piece of the puzzle fell together: my nervousness in the tent, the sense of being watched throughout the long night's vigil, and the attack just a few moments earlier. I pulled the newest pokeball off the strap and raised an eyebrow at the Ambipom. "This forest spirit?" I asked, and pressed the button on the sphere. A very disgruntled Mismagius appeared before us, and the Ambipom fell backward in shock.
"How... how did you?"
I jerked a thumb at Venus. "Don't look at me. Your 'forest spirit' jumped us a few yards back, and she took offense to the attack." I shrugged. "Guess they don't make forest spirits like they used to." Without giving Mismagius a second glance, I recalled it to my pokeball. As for Ambipom, he didn't seem to have a response for that, so I took advantage of the lull to examine the cage holding Miranda more carefully.
"Ingenious design," I mused. Though it had appeared very shoddy from a distance-and, to an extent, still seemed extremely unfinished-I found myself impressed with the care taken with the locking mechanism. Despite its frailty, no human would easily be able to unlock it from the outside. Especially if, as was Miranda's case, the human were bound hand and foot.
"Would you be less appreciative and GET ME OUT OF HERE?" the girl asked with commendable restraint. I flashed a grin at her.
"Nothing easier." A few seconds work with my utility knife had the bindings around the door severed. Without the bits of vine and yarn holding it up, it was as though an entire side of the trap fell away. I reached in and offered Miranda a hand. After a barely perceptible pause, she took it, and I pulled her to her feet.
"Now, for Ambipom," she muttered.
"Leave him," I ordered, handing her my coat so she could cover herself.
"Leave him? He kidnapped me, tortured me..."
"And you're in his territory. Besides, it's not entirely his fault; ghost-types have incredibly strong hypnotic abilities, and there's no telling how long Mismagius has been pulling this 'forest spirit' gag on him."
To give her credit, Miranda seemed to consider that for a moment.
"Fine," she muttered. "But don't expect me to be nice to him if I see him in a dark alley."
I gave her a grin that was all teeth and no humor. "Then, he'll be in your territory, and fair game." I walked over to Lorelei and gave her a self-conscious kiss on the forehead. "Well done, girl," I told her. She wriggled slightly, and I swear that she grinned at me. Then she tapped her nose on her pokeball and returned to its confines. I looked up to see Miranda giving me an odd look.
"You genuinely love them, don't you?" she asked. There was no accusation in her tone, and so I gave her the considered answer she deserved.
"Yes, like family."
"And more, some of them." That had an edge. I held out an arm for Venus to clamber up on while I thought about how to respond.
"Quite a lot more. If Beni were human, I think I'd marry her. Cammy is like a best friend, though one younger than me, with benefits." I gave Venus a grin, and a wink, so that she realized I wasn't ignoring her. I just didn't want to try to work out what my relationship to Venus was; I wasn't sure myself, and I don't think she was, either. "They're people, Miranda," I added softly. "Just like you or me. They may have four legs, or a funny face, or tails, or any number of things, but they're still people. They think, they feel; they worry, they fear, they hope, they dream. They can even love. I see no difference, anymore, between them and any other person. People, even trainers, underestimate their intelligence, but I've lived with them, spoken with them, and they're easily as smart as humans. We ignore them because they aren't as destructive as we are, because they don't see a need to carve hunks out of nature to build shopping malls or amusement parks, because they can live in the forests, the plains, and the oceans we think of as desolate wilderness." I cleared my throat as emotion threatened to clog it.
"I see." The edge was gone again, and in its place was a sort of wondering thoughtfulness. Her brow was wrinkled, and she was clearly thinking hard. Then she sighed. "I guess you're right," she admitted reluctantly.
"Glad you think so," came my attempt at nonchalance. I cocked my head to one side. "If you're feeling cooperative, though, there is a small problem I need your help with..."
* * *
Miranda and I arrived back at camp shortly after. She ducked into the tent to dress, shedding my coat with considerably less haste than she'd donned it, while I sat down with Cammy. Beni, of course, had met us a few minutes out, as soon as she'd felt me come near.
"Cammy," I began, keeping my voice carefully neutral and my gaze on the fire ring, "I want Miranda to have a look at you. You've acted strangely lately, and I'm concerned about what might be going on." I braced myself after I finished. When no explosion was forthcoming, I glanced up at Cammy to see an expression of... what? Surprise, maybe, and a bit of dismay, but there was also a solid amount of resignation as well.
"I understand," she replied without a hint of her usual levity. When I raised an eyebrow, she elaborated. "I've been feeling sick for weeks, and didn't want you to know." I shook my head, but didn't ask her to explain further. Her thoughts were on her face for all to read: trapped in the lodge, there was little I could have done for her had I known, and Cammy was the sort of person to not want me to worry if I can't do anything to help. Before I could answer, however, Miranda emerged, bearing with her a small box I'd seen in her baggage. I hadn't opened it, of course, but that lapse was soon repaired as she showed me her prize.
"It's one of the prototype hand diagnostic units made for testing humans and pokemon in the field," she announced proudly. "Nurse Joy-that is, the Nurse Joy of the Career Academy-gave it to me when I left so that I could test it for her." She smiled fondly down at the electronic device, much like a doting mother looks upon her newborn child. "Five minutes with this, and I can diagnose nearly anything that might be wrong with Cammy."
She spent much of that five minutes moving things that seemed to be suction cups all over Cammy's body. Acting much more like her old self, Cammy couldn't prevent a giggle emerging when Miranda placed one perilously close to her nipple.
"That's strange," the would-be nurse commented as she removed the suction cup-like things from Cammy's stomach. She stood and shook her head in bafflement.
"What?"
"I'm not sure what it is," Miranda confessed, diagnostic unit in her hands. "It's almost like..." She paled abruptly.
"What is it?" I asked again. A pang of fear froze my heart with dread.
"Well..." Hesitation was written on every feature of her face. "It's almost like a heartbeat."
"Wait a tick," I ordered, holding up a hand. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"It's impossible," Miranda denied flatly. Then her defiance faded slightly. "Still, if she were human..." She shifted the unit to one hand and pulled out a notebook with the other, flipping through it until she found what she was looking for. She glanced quickly back and forth between the two items, comparing something, and then closed the notebook again. "If she were human, these readings would suggest that Cammy, give or take a few days... is eight weeks pregnant."
There seemed no adequate response.
[To Be Continued]