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Viscosity of Water by
Rated:XXX [Reviews: 1]

Summary:

Two pokemon trainers plan their next course in their journey while their pokemon relax nearby. A pokemon couple of theirs, however, does more than just relax as a buizel initiates the warm, embracing session of mating with her mate, a totodile.

Supposed to be a One-shot

Story Notes:

Note, this is not a contest entry. Too much competition -_-. I began this story in April and completed it in May when the Bring the Heat contest didn't exist so this is not purely designed for super hot, jizzy material, but it's still hot. Enjoy and thanks for reading and reviews would be very much appreciated for future improvement.(Who knows how to fix the quotation marks and apostrophe format problem because it's making my story look like crap?)

  1. Viscosity of Water (7223 words)

  2. Viscosity of Water Prt 2 (9968 words) [Reviews: 1]

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  • Reviews (1)
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    Reviewer: redacted
    Date:Sep 5 2014 Chapter:Viscosity of Water Prt 2
    The first chapter really deserves to be fixed, that weird HTML coding glich ruins it.
    Your grammar wasn't too great either, which took away from the story even more. For example: "while Ayden stood their". 'THEIR' I mean, really? Thats the most basic screw up I've seen. It should have been 'There' not 'Their'...*sigh*

    But, it was quite a cute story. Good work. The scheme was all too creative, and I really like how you told each character. Very interesting. I especially like your writing style, you can't go wrong with that...I could't find any errors in the story, except that Paige wasn't a virgin... You didn't mention anything regarding the hymen...

    Overal, fix the glich and your grammar. The story was pretty good and your character description is pretty decent. Good job.

    -{ 5 stars__ }-