AGNPH Stories

The Human Species by RingsOfSaturn


Story Notes:

It was a quiet night when Deoxys descended from the heavens.
Believed to not be of this world, it went on a rampage, leaving death and destruction in its wake.
Finally defeated by an unknown force, the tragedy of unparalleled magnitude it created remains in the heart of every human.
To make sure that something like this will never happen again, every wild Pokèmon powerful enough to cause such mayhem must be captured, controlled or killed.
Needless to say, this year has been a bad year for Legendaries. This year has also been a bad year for Champion Trainers.
But my year... Has been... THE WORST! 

Author's Chapter Notes:


Farewell (Epilogue of Episode IV)

"... There might be a way" Celebi said the next day after everyone had woken up, having just gone through the events of the previous night in her head. Everyone was still groggy from having slept and didn't bother responding, leaving her to handle the talking.

"It is true that I have heard nothing about a human turning into a Pokèmon..." Celebi said, Lucario seeing the monsters waking around him and rubbing his eyes twice just to make sure that he still wasn't dreaming.

"... But transformations and shapeshifting was always Mew's specialty. She might know more about this than I do" she continued while looking at Lucario.

"... Mew!?" Zerobi exclaimed as she sat up in shock, "You... You know Mew?"

"Most legendaries are surprisingly tight" Pikablu said while stretching himself, "I know, it freaked me out at first, too."

"She's my best friend" Celebi explained with the soft voice no one was expecting after her shrill scream the night before, "Rather shy... Well, more recently than before, but I'm not sure exactly why..."

"Doesn't matter" Lucario responded coolly with a short yawn, "So, what makes you think Meow knows anything about my condition?"

"Whoa!" Zerobi burst out, still shaken by this revelation, "Lucario! Mew is THE legendary legend! They say she created every Pokèmon!"

"Hi hi hi..." Celebi giggled quietly with a paw covering her mouth, "Really? Why would they be saying that about her?"

"They... She..." Zerobi stammered while going through the many occult magazines in her head, trying to remember if there was ever any real factual information in them, "... Iunno, something about having the DNA of every living creature..."

"Well, she IS an expert when it comes to transformation" Celebi said happily and thought back to the many experiments they had conducted in the past, "Now that I think about it... I think she actually managed to turn into a human, once."

"Really? That does make it sound like she'd know something" Lucario admitted and finally started pay attention as he became curious about her, "Where can I find her?"

"... Oh, but I am not supposed to tell any more Pokèmon about her whereabouts..." Celebi whispered slowly, "Just telling you that she exists is..."

"Tell him" Pikablu suddenly said, "It's not like she can't destroy him instantaneously if he does something bad."

"Dude, I totally saved your ass several times yesterday" Lucario said with an insulted tone while looking at Pikablu, "Where's my respect?"

"Just stating a fact" Pikablu said confidently, "... And I don't remember you actually saving me even once.

"There" Lucario muttered while pointing at Pikablu, "Just now. I saved you from a punch in the face by stopping myself."

"You're not doing wonders in convincing Celebi that you're harmless, you know" Pikablu mumbled in return, seemingly grouchy.

"She slept with me all night, she can't be that uncomfortable" Lucario replied with the same confidence Pikablu exhibited earlier, which soon faded as everyone looked at him strangely.

"Wait, what was that?" the Gallade asked, but was promptly ignored.

"... Must've been a dream..." Kabutops muttered to himself and crossed his arms.

"Still, even if she points you in the right direction, that won't be enough" Pikablu said while crossing his arms as well, not wanting to be outdone in display of authority, "Mew is the shyest legendary there is. You won't find her unless she wants you to."

"I know a way around that!" Celebi exclaimed cheerfully, "Lucario, do you possess an artifact of some kind?"

"... Artifact?" Lucario repeated in confusion, "Uh... Like what?"

"Anything! I can use the Miracle Eye to fill it up with my energy!" Celebi chirped while getting the impulse to whirl around in the air, but stopping herself in an attempt to retain her proper demeanor, "That way, Mew should sense my aura radiating from it and at the very least become curious enough to ask you about it!"

"Oh, that thing you did against the Tyrant-y-tard?" Lucario asked and thought back to the menacing foe that had been turned into a meteorite so easily, "That was bloody awesome, by the way."

"That is what I was hoping for!" Celebi said cheerfully, "Hmm... I missed the impact, though..."

"Don't worry, Cell..." the Gallade whispered while moving a bit closer to the small legendary, "I'll show it to you later..." The Gallade was about to show her what he meant, but had to hastily hide the camera behind his back as Pikablu gave him a curious stare.

"So!" Celebi continued, "Do you have any form of object that you regularly carry around with you?"

"... Uh..." Lucario mumbled while looking over himself and sighing, "... Not really, no."

"Lucario..." Zerobi suddenly said before pointing at his bottom, "What about your pants?"

"... My pants?" Lucario repeated, looking down again. The trousers that had initially been positively shining with cleanliness were now torn by the edges as well as dirtied by everything from blood to mud. He became fairly disgusted with them, even though they were still as functional as always and he wouldn't even have noticed it if he hadn't looked down.

"... Would that work?" he asked, reminding himself to hit a clothing store in the near future.

"I-I suppose..." Celebi stammered with surprise as she thought of a way to alter the procedure and make it work, "... Yes, yes it should! A bit thin, but at least you carry them with you all the time!"

"Hey, it's not like I've got my wardrobe or any washing machines around here!" Lucario responded with an insulted tone, confusing Celebi.

She wasted no time in performing the task as the strange colored lines from before crept over her body once more, making Lucario nervous as he imagined himself being flung miles up into the air.

"Wait, shouldn't he remove them first?" Zerobi asked.

"No, that will not be necessary" Celebi replied happily to Zerobi who gave off a grouchy expression in return, again to Celebi's confusion.

"Why were you wearing them to begin with, anyway?" Pikablu asked Lucario while taking a bite out of a berry he stole from their backpack.

"Human, remember?" Lucario replied and noticed that he had started sweating for some reason, "I've got this thing called 'modesty'!"

"Why? It's not like you've got anything to cover up!" the Gallade laughed while nudging the young Pokèmon next to him, "Eh, Kabuta?"

"Hey, you shut up!" Kabuta responded with a disgusted voice before looking at Lucario shamefully, "Sorry 'bout that, I was kind of taken by the moment back then."

Lucario did not have time to respond as the lines around Celebi coiled and suddenly shot themselves directly in between his legs. Instinctively he covered himself, using his hands as protection. Luckily, he did not feel anything from the action towards his pants, which he knew helped him from needing to replace them afterwards.

The lines dissipated in an anti-climax, everyone looking at Lucario for some sort of response. He moved his legs around, feeling an odd sensation creeping up his back.

"My pants have an aura... One that's considerably greater than mine" Lucario said, smiling but showing disappointment through the tone of his voice, "... I honestly don't know how to feel about this."

"You should put them in charge" the Gallade snickered, "Let them wear you for once."

"Alright..." Lucario said while making a small hop just to see that his energetic pants wouldn't evaporate or something, "That's it?"

"That's it!" Celebi replied cheerfully, "Head towards the passage of the sun until see an absolutely humongous mountain! Go to that, and-"

"Whoa whoa, wait!" the Gallade suddenly burst out in shock, "He's not a flying-type, you're telling him to climb THAT mountain!?"

"Well..." Celebi said to herself with disdain while Lucario started wishing he had something besides his mind to take notes with, "That would be impossible, I suppose. But Mew should be able to sense your aura even if you are at the foot of it. Just go there and wait."

"Sounds good" Lucario said, wanting one last piece of confirmation from Celebi, "Are you sure Mew will be there?"

"Definitively!" she responded, "We meet there once every non-turn of the moon to experiment and have fun!"

"Alright, then... Thanks" Lucario said with a nod as he turned around and started walking, "I guess I'll be going now."

"Going...?" Zerobi repeated slowly as something clicked in her head, "Wait, you're leaving!?"

"Of course, gotta find Mew " Lucario replied quickly while bending over and picking up the backpack, "Uh, could you take care of your sleeping bag from now on? I don't feel like carrying around useless weight."

"... That's no good!" Zerobi exclaimed with a disappointed tone, "Come on, stay here! He can stay with us, right?"

"I-I suppose..." Celebi responded, not sure of how it would work out but not wanting to deny her sister's very first request.

"Decline'd" Lucario sighed, "If Mew can make me human again, I have to find her."

"Who's to say Mew can help you, anyway?" Zerobi kept going while feeling herself become angry, "If not even Celebi could, chances are slim-"

"Maybe she can, maybe she can't" Lucario interrupted while starting to get agitated as well, "The alternative is staying here, and if I do that I KNOW there's absolutely no way I'll return to being human."

"... You can't! It's much too dangerous for you to be doing this alone!" Zerobi shouted with rage, "I found you right at death's door, and that's where you'll be going if I'm not around!"

"Hmpf..." Lucario huffed coldly as he was beginning to get tired from being talked back to, "For me, there was a journey before you, and there will be one after you as well."

Zerobi stared furiously at Lucario, who stared back with silent disdain. She wasn't quite sure herself of why she had lost her temper so easily, and began worrying that she was going to go on a killing rampage again. Just to be on the safe side, she forced herself to calm down.

"Must you leave right at this moment?" Celebi asked Lucario, feeling sorry for her sister and wanting to be as supportive as possible.

"No sense in wasting any time" Lucario replied cockily while looking around him, "Besides, this crowd's too big for my taste. I could use some time alone."

"But..." Zerobi said slowly while looking at Lucario with as sad a face as she could muster, "... What about me?"

"I guess..." Lucario said bluntly, "This is our farewell."

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I've got a solution..." Pikablu suddenly said with a surprisingly confident voice, "Lucario, build two phones and give her one."

"... Yeah!" Zerobi exclaimed happily, "That thing humans use! That way, we can stay in touch!"

"Uh... No?" Lucario answered in confusion, "I'm not an engineer, I just punch things."

"Come on! I've seen humans use phones all the time!" Zerobi continued with determination, fighting against the idea that this was truly their last meeting, "I'll help you, if that's the problem!"

"No, I honestly have no idea how to build a phone. That's just..." Lucario explained while trying to comprehend the stupidity of what he was hearing, "... Ugh. Besides, even if I did, I'd need materials not found out here in nature."

"... What kind of materials?" Zerobi kept going and feeling her determination wane.

"Hell if I know!" Lucario burst out angrily as he finally snapped, "There'd have to be, like, a radio tower, too! It's not just something you can throw together!"

Zerobi groaned in annoyance. For an instant, she thought of continuing her journey with Lucario. But the nagging curiosity that had haunted her throughout her entire life made her realize that if given the choice, she would stay with Celebi.

"Zer... I mean, sis..." Celebi whispered slowly as she noticed how troubled she was, "Come here. We need to discuss something."

Zerobi looked back at her, and sighed before the two of them moved away from the rest of the crowd. The rest stood and stared at Lucario, who preferred the way they treated before and was beginning to regret telling them about being human. Much to his chagrin, he saw the Gallade suddenly approach him with a smug smile on his face.

"Listen pal, if you're really going off alone, let me tell you the single most important advice you'll ever hear" the Gallade said in a strangely informed manner as if he was giving a lecture before suddenly contorting his face into that of a demon, "FUCK. ZUBAT. "

"Yeah!" Kabuta chimed in, agreeing with the Gallade for once, "Winged little bastards swarm around you while sucking your blood, confusing you and giving out a bad experience altogether!"

"Never had a problem with them, myself..." Kabutops said while slowly shaking his head, "Voltorb on the other hand... Ugh."

"Wait, what do they do?" Lucario asked, progressively getting less motivated to go on his journey.

"Screech" Kabutops responded bluntly, "... And explode."

"... That's, like, the most horrible thing I've ever heard described!" Lucario exclaimed in horror while imagining a stick of dynamite rubbing itself against a blackboard, "What do they do then, poison you!?"

"That'd be Weedle" Pikablu mumbled and thought back to his many perilous days in Viridian Forest, "Just stay away from trouble whenever possible."

"B-But..." Lucario stammered, trying to come up with a countermeasure, "What if I roundhouse kick it?"

"Explosion" Kabutops answered quickly.

"But..." Lucario kept going, "What if I roundhouse kick it... In the face!?"

"... I don't see how you could kick it and NOT hit it in the face..." Pikablu muttered to himself.

The Gallade gave off a short laugh before putting his arm on Lucario's shoulder. Lucario twitched, remembering their earlier battle, but was pleased to notice that the arms weren't glowing and thus harmless.

"You know, just felt like warning you" the Gallade said, "You're a cool guy. I wouldn't mind going out for a drink with you one night."

"T-T-Thank y-you...?" Lucario stammered badly, receiving some very strange vibes from the slender Pokèmon.

"Anyway, I've said my piece and I've done my part" the Gallade said and scratched the side of his face that was still itching from the battle, "D'you need me for anything else?"

"We're good, and always were" Pikablu replied snarkily, "Take that as a standing dis-invitation."

"Would you pronounce this thing and make it official, then...?" Kabutops asked, noticing the Gallade's subtle plea for just the same thing.

"Sure thing" Pikablu said while shrugging his shoulders, "Mission accomplished. You're all free to do what you want."

"HAHAHA! About time!" the Gallade shouted happily as he threw his arms up into the air, "Finally, it's time to update my website, blog and everything else! So long, suckers!"

The Gallade posed magnificently for a few moments. Seeing many unimpressed looks headed his way, he lowered his arms disappointedly.

"... Uh, do you guys need a ride somewhere?" he asked meekly.

"We're fine" Pikablu answered.

"Yeah" Kabuta said with a cocky voice, "Don't forget the camera, uncle sissy"

"Hah! That'll be uncle AWESOME to you once you see the feature presentation!" the Gallade replied cockily before raising his arms again, "Anyway, I'm outta here! Ciao!"

The Gallade suddenly disappeared, leaving behind a miniature implosion that startled both Lucario and Zerobi.

"But..." Kabuta whispered confusedly to herself, "... We all already saw the feature presentation..."

"Rockers" Kabutops said while putting his scythe on her head, "What have I told you about listening to uncle sissy?"

"Besides, you've already got one awesome uncle" Pikablu said with a smile, "And father... And mother... And brother..."

"True" Kabutops said while smiling to himself, "I do believe it's time for us to return home."

"I'm going back as well, to give Anne some reprieve" Pikablu said while reaching up and patting Kabuta on the back, "Good job on your first mission, kiddo."

"Thanks..." Kabuta whispered, not at all enthralled at what once would have sent her jumping for joy. Instead, she received a glint of determination in her eye as she looked over at Lucario and suddenly made a small leap towards him.

"Lucario!" she shouted, bowing her head in a show of respect few had seen, "Take me with you!"

"E... Eh?" Lucario stuttered with surprise, "W-With me? Where?"

"I've always wanted to go on a REAL adventure!" Kabuta explained while thinking about falling to her knees, but knew she would not be able to keep an upright position with only one arm, "Pops and Picks both went on an adventure... This is my best chance to have one, too!"

"Adventure!?" Pikablu yelled angrily while moving towards them and staring at Kabuta, "Are you crazy!? This idiot's heading towards certain doom!"

"I... WHAT!?" Lucario exclaimed in a worried outburst.

"What I mean, is..." Pikablu said, not breaking his eye contact with Kabuta, "You lost one arm under his watch, and you'll lose a lot more than that if you go with him."

"HEY!" Lucario shouted, "She lost it under YOUR watch! At least I did everything I could to stop it!"

"Again, you're not helping" Pikablu groaned as he felt like he could actually see all subtlety glancing by Lucario, "The next time, I'll just knock you out before starting."

"Picks, I..." Kabuta said confidently while looking back and forth between the two, "I need to do this! When I return, I'll be much stronger!"

The three of them kept bickering back and forth as tension begun to rise. Kabutops sighed and decided to move in between them, his calm demeanor almost instantly dispelling all the animosity surrounding them.

"Kabuta..." he said slowly while facing his daughter, seeing a bit of his younger self in her eyes, "... You've grown."

"Pops... I..." Kabuta stammered, not knowing what to say.

"Lucario, would you continue your journey in solace?" Kabutops said as he turned around and looked at Lucario, "Selfish as it may be, I wish to spend more time with my daughter before she is fully grown up..."

"Not a problem!" Lucario replied happily, relieved at the outcome as Kabuta was giving him the same set of strange vibes that he got from the Gallade earlier. Both Pikablu and Kabuta were half a second away from saying something to this, but stopped themselves as they noticed Celebi and Zerobi had returned. They took a step back, leaving a somewhat nervous Lucario alone in front of the two.

"Lucario..." Zerobi said slowly while facing him directly, "Is there anything I can do to get you to stay?"

"No" Lucario said bluntly on purpose, for some reason having been left unsatisfied and feeling like igniting another fight.

"But... When you are done with your quest..." Zerobi continued undauntedly, "... Will you return?" Lucario stood in silence, dropping his plans on teasing her when he noticed the sincerity in her voice. All she wanted was to be with him, and for the first time he was actually starting to feel sorry for her.

"... No" he said, knowing that in the end there was only one answer that he could give without lying.

"... I-I see..." Zerobi stammered sadly and lowered her head once more.

"Ugh... This is too painful to watch" Pikablu grumbled at Lucario with an annoyed tone, "Don't be such a hardass. You're really going to break a girl's heart, just like that?"

"Do I have a choice...?" Lucario muttered, "I'm human. No matter what, I'll never be able to see Zerobi as anything but a weird creature, and especially not a 'girl'."

"I have no way of putting this delicately, and frankly I don't care at this point" Lucario said and with a sad expression thought back to his very first encounter with a Pokèmon, "... You're all animal to me. Friendly, but still animal."

"... Animal?" Pikablu repeated while crossing his arms in the usual manner, "Not sure what that means, but I'm guessing it's not good..."

"Anima...?" Zerobi said while remembering the expression from one of her occult magazines, "But... I don't understand..."

"Between eating berries, living out in the wild and being hunted by my own kind..." Lucario explained, every word tasting like another disgusting berry on his tongue, "If there's a train heading out of this life, I'm taking it."

"... Train?" Pikablu repeated, feeling like he had to parrot Lucario's every line to even understand them, "Do you EVER take anything seriously?"

"Only when I have to" Lucario responded coolly, "It's easier to deal with shit when you've got a sense of humor about it."

The two of them stared each other down for a moment. While to everyone else this would seem like a hostile display, between the two of them they could see something new in the eyes of their counterpart.


"Heh... You're an oddball, but I've befriended worse" Pikablu said with a smile as he walked up and patted Lucario's right leg, "Feel free to visit us once you've failed your mission."

"Psst..." Kabuta leaned in and whispered in Lucario's ear, "He means 'good luck'..."

"I know what it is like to be on a journey to find one's true self" Kabutops said as Pikablu backed off, "Hopefully, you will reach the same conclusion as I."

"Uh..." Kabuta mumbled while trying to make sense out of her father's sayings, "I think that means 'good luck', too."

"Yeah, I got all of that" Lucario chuckled while looking at Kabuta, "What about you?"

"I'll be... Fine" she replied with a less than confident tone in her voice, "You sure I can't come with you?"

"It wouldn't work" Lucario said quickly, "But don't worry - You're strong enough as it is. And if anyone asks, I'll tell them that you held me off with only one arm!"

"... Stupid..." Kabuta whispered to herself as she moved away from him with an angry and saddened face, "... I don't care about that..."

Lucario then looked at the tiny green Celebi floating next to the elegant black Weavile. Seeing any resemblance of family ties between them was impossible, and he silently wondered if he was not seeing it because he was not a Pokèmon himself.

"Celebi" he said with courtesy, "Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome..." Celebi replied sadly, looking at Zerobi's downtrodden expression with sympathy. As the awkwardness was beginning to reach unbearable levels, Lucario felt that he had to do something about it.

"Hey hey, come on" he said while moving forward and boldly placing his hand on her shoulder, "Don't let it end like this. When did things get so awkward between us?"

"... Around the time that I almost killed you?" Zerobi replied slowly, looking at the hand on her shoulder and reliving the horrible moment.

"If this is how things are going to turn out, then you might as well have" Lucario said confidently before realizing what it sounded like outside his head, "... I mean, uh, from your perspective. Personally, I'm totally glad I didn't die."

"Lucario..." Zerobi said slowly while thinking back to their many moments together, "... I'm going to miss you. Is there really no way for you to stay?"

"Zerobi... I know you don't know me too well, but what do you expect from me?" Lucario asked in a calm manner, "I'm not a Pokèmon, just a transformed man. Under regular circumstances, we wouldn't even understand each other, and that's the side of the fence I've always been on."

"... Heh" Zerobi snickered, deciding against pursuing her romance any further and instead make the best of their last few seconds together, "At the very least, I don't think I'll forget you."

"Ditto" Lucario replied cheerfully, happy to see his partner return to her former self, "Like I said, out of all these weirdoes... You're the best."

"Still, all of you..." Lucario said as he moved away from Zerobi and adjusted the backpack, "You're alright. Have good lives."

"... Just... Be careful!" Zerobi said, finally beginning to come to terms that this might be the last time she would see him, "If I hear that you were taken down five minutes after leaving...!"

"Ha ha ha!" Lucario laughed, "You take care of yourself, too." Lucario gave off a big smile before turning around, leaving his confident face as everyone's last impression.

"Pikablu! Viridian Forest!" Pikablu shouted at him, "Come around, we'll find something for you to eat that's not berries!"

"I'll get stronger, and we'll have a rematch!" Kabuta shouted as well, but felt too overcome by the moment to say what she really wanted to say, "Just... Come back, damn you!"

They watched Lucario as he left with the sun burning on his back, lighting up his yellow fur like a candle. Hearing everyone cheering for him made him feel good. When he heard them stop and start another conversation behind him, he felt the sudden urge to go back and join them. The idea of leaving them turned out to be much less strenuous to his rationality than actually doing it. But still he kept walking forward, knowing that turning around would only make it harder for all of them. Eventually he was able to erase all doubt from his mind by remembering what he really was, who he really was and why he was even there in the first place.

His newfound yet recently lost friends had already left his sight... But he knew that they would forever stay within his mind.

And so, his journey continued towards new horizons...

- - - - - - - - -

Author here! I do believe celebrations are in order! Not only is this the end of the first episode, but also the end of the first... Season. Or Arc. Hell, call it whatever you want, all I know is I typed in "it's over" and my Word 2010 brought up a smiley face.

"... So the story is over?" Lucario asks with both a relieved and disappointed look.

Of course not! Man, I haven't even introduced... Just that this story's got, like, a million characters already, might as well let some of them have their day in the limelight now.

"S'nice, I s'pose" Lucario says with a nod, "But you know, I've been meaning to ask you. Why does the image for the first chapter contain a Lucario... WITH spikes?"

No more questions!

"Huh?" Lucario exclaims, "I thought that was the whole point behind this."

You thought wrong!

"Back in the spotlight, eh...?" Snivy mutters, nudging Eve.

"Shoved to the side, more like it..." Eve sighs, "Do you think I would become relevant to the story if I evolve into some strange eeveelution?"

"Might work" the Spectreon says, "But you'll need the essence of someone recently deceased to do it. Also, it sucks, like, A LOT."

"Hmm..." the Croagunk mumbles, "I guess we could take some from Umk. Then you'd become an Boozeon."

"No!" Snivy shouts, "Like hell I'm having sex with a poison type!"

"Uh..." Umk whispers, "I'm not dead yet."

"BWAH!" the Spectreon exclaims, "A ghost!"

"Two, actually" the Haunter sighs, "... Or three. I don't have enough fingers to keep count anymore."

"U-Um..." Astrid stammers, "Shouldn't we be interacting with the characters from the other stories?"

"Dunno, Zerobi being so happy kind of sickens me" Snivy groans, "Go nuts. Be careful around the THS crew, I don't trust 'em."

"... And so I exit the gym, and guess who?" Lucas explains, "Barry. With a fully healed team."

"Pish posh" Red mutters, "I defeated the Elite Four, and then Blue just waltzes in and challenges me to another battle like he owned the place."

"It's like there aren't any regulations at all!" Brendan snickers, "Heck, I brought fifty Hyper Potions the first time, not a single one of them even raised an eyebrow!"

"Of course... Nothing compared to that Unova kid" Red says with a depressed face, "I heard he had to fight the elite four, and then the entirety of Team Plasma ambushed him..."

"Hah! Brilliant!" Brendan exclaims, "That's way more evil than Team Magma... Or was that Aqua? They're hitting Team Rocket levels!"

"Oh yeah?" Lucas says cockily, "Well, MY enemies actually tried to destroy the world! Beat that!"

"Too bad they were complete sissies in every other aspect!" Brendan laughs, "Ooooh, look at meee, I'm named Saturn! And in case you couldn't tell, I'm also a big faggot!"

... Asshole. Anyway, why are YOU here with me instead of over THERE?

"I don't belong with the that crowd" Lucario sighs, "Besides, you're the only other human here."

Sorry, but I don't swing that way.

"Cute" Lucario mutters, "To me, they're all just animal. I'd rather be here."

Well, to me, YOU'RE an animal! I'd rather be alone!

"... Asshole" Lucario mumbles as he walks away.

"You know who I miss?" Pikablu asks, "Anne."

"You know who I miss?" Kabutops asks back, "Astrid."

"You know who I miss?" The Gallade asks as well, "Team Charm."

"We're talking about our wives, here" Kabutops snarls.

"Who says I'm not?" The Gallade responds with a cocky laugh.

"You know, your antics were almost endearing for the first five minutes" Pikablu says with anger apparent in his voice, "SIX YEARS. It has been SIX YEARS of me hearing this!"

"See, that's the difference between us!" the Gallade points out, "In six years, you became older... While I stayed cool and awesome!"

"Did you just call yourself a foolish bottom?" Pikablu snarls, "Because that makes a lot of sense!"

"Check your hearing" the Gallade snaps back.

"Its working TOO well" Pikablu replies, "So shut up!"

"YOU shut up!" the Gallade responds.

"Hey sis, whose idea was it to put those two crazies in the same room?" Zerobi snickers.

"Speaking of crazy, would you mind telling me why you tried killing Lucario while I was away?" Celebi asks with a stern tone.

"Yeah right, like YOU never did anything weird when I was away!" Zerobi sneers.

"... Point taken..." Celebi says, scratching her head in embarrassment.

"You know, I get the feeling we've done this before..." Zerobi whispers slowly as she is hit by deja vu.

"Ooh!" Celebi exclaims, "Me too! Maybe we have developed a sisterly psychic bond!"

"... I'd say 'no', but maybe...?" Zerobi says quietly, "Tell me, what am I thinking of, now?"

"... You really, REALLY want to hug your sister!" Celebi says after thinking for a while.

"No..." Zerobi sighs, "That's probably what you're thinking..."

"Y-You can tell!?" Celebi stammers, "I knew it! It's working!"

"Not unless you see... Hmm..." Zerobu mutters, "OK, I'm going to really focus on something now. Try to see what it is."

"... Oh? Oh..." Celebi repeats as she suddenly looks over at Lucario and starts blushing wildly, "... Oh! Oh my!"

"H-Hey, stop it!" Zerobi shouts angrily, "That's SO not what I'm thinking about!"

"And so, Astrid..." Pikablu says while rubbing the burn on his left cheek, "... Is yet again missing."

"Indeed" Kabutops replies.

"I see the chief of police is present" Pikablu mutters while staring at Snivy, "Should I be telling him to arrest you?"

"..." Kabutops stands in silence for a moment, "Remember last time? I am not long for this world if I explain why."

"Why, pops?" Kabuta asks as she realizes something, "Hey, mom's always, like, out cold in the morning! Why's that?"

"..." Kabutops stands in silence for yet another a moment, and decides not to say anything this time.

"Come on! Tell me, pops!" Kabuta says while moving closer to him, "Pops pops pops pops pops"

"..." Kabutops remains silent.

"Pops pops pops pops pops" Kabuta says.

"..." Kabutops remains silent.

"Pops pops pops pops pops" Kabuta says.

Shit, it's an infinite loop! I was a fool to invite those two!

Anyway, I do realize that I'm bad at ending these things, so I'll just leave you all with the most important piece of information I could possible give! THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THIS STORY WILL BE OUT IN
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