AGNPH Stories

The Human Species by RingsOfSaturn


Story Notes:

It was a quiet night when Deoxys descended from the heavens.
Believed to not be of this world, it went on a rampage, leaving death and destruction in its wake.
Finally defeated by an unknown force, the tragedy of unparalleled magnitude it created remains in the heart of every human.
To make sure that something like this will never happen again, every wild Pokèmon powerful enough to cause such mayhem must be captured, controlled or killed.
Needless to say, this year has been a bad year for Legendaries. This year has also been a bad year for Champion Trainers.
But my year... Has been... THE WORST! 

Author's Chapter Notes:


Peerless Ace Ethan

"Whoa," was all Lucario could muster to say, snapping out of the haze induced by Mew's story. He came to be aware that he was now in a cave, just faintly remembering having climbed up there, and wondering how on Earth that had even been possible with the unfriendly territory he had spotted earlier. Even so, his focus remained on the tale he had just been told, feeling his stomach tighten as the realization slowly sunk in.

"You mean..." he said with a careful tone, finding no way of making what he was about to say sound sane, "... That Lucario was me?"

"Yes," Mew replied with a nod, glad to see he had understood her story, "Rather, you were Ethan."

"... Whoa..." Lucario repeated, more slowly this time, "You mean, I had the same name as that really famous champion?"

"I am rather certain you were that champion," Mew pointed out as her worried expression returned, "Do you really not remember any of this?"

"I..." Lucario mumbled quietly, having gained a whole new level of empathy for Mew after her valiant story and wishing to tell her something different to cheer her up, "... Honestly, no. But... Somehow..."

Lucario had to redirect his concerns for the legendary for a few moments, as he was experiencing an inner turmoil of his own to sort out. He had absolutely no recollection of anything she had told him, but the events that had been painted up in his mind resounded strangely within him. Thinking back to his most recent memories as a human, he tried to figure out if the story had any plausibility beyond him getting a "strange feeling" about it.

"... I remember wandering around a lot. I think, the last couple of years of my life, I was just traveling places on foot," Lucario said while crossing his arms and thinking to himself, "Searching for something..."

"Arceus, perhaps?" Mew chimed in before feeling her heart start to pound faster in excitement, "You... Would not happen to remember where you found him, no?"

"No..." Lucario said bluntly as Mew sunk down a bit, "I don't even know who that is."

"Arceus is thought to be merely a legend, even among legendaries," Mew explained in the hopes that she might jog Lucario's memory, "He is spoken of in lore from times long, long gone. Should he still be alive, he would be the oldest living creature in the world."

"... What was it he did, again?" Lucario asked confusedly, "Erased my memories regarding Pokémon?"

"Bear in mind that altering a being's mind is impossible, even on a theoretical level," Mew said before suddenly lowering her voice, "But... If anyone could do it, it would be Arceus..."

"Huh," Lucario said bluntly while starting to feel disappointed, "Great, I went all this way to find the greatest legendary of all time, only to find out it's not you, but Arceus..."

"There is no such thing as a 'greatest' legendary..." Mew replied, but was unable to withhold a faint blush from appearing, "But... Why were you looking for me?"

"... Oh, yeah!" Lucario suddenly burst out, realizing that none of this was the reason he had been searching for the small legendary in the first place, "Mew, you've got to make me human again!"

Mew simply looked at him for a few moments, letting the silence in the cave drift around them. She wondered if Lucario would realize that she was not busy figuring out a way to help him, but rather contemplating how to tell him the bad news.

"... Human... Again..." Mew repeated slowly, trying her hardest to not look away from Lucario's hopeful eyes. She hoped they would remain that way just for the duration of her explanation, but knew that to be nothing but wishful thinking.

"Celebi told me you're the master of shapeshifting, and..." Lucario said cheerfully as his heart lifted at the thought of returning to his human form, "... Apparently you're the one that put me in this body in the first place! It should be easy!"

"Easy... Is the last thing it would be, I fear..." Mew said carefully, finally letting her gaze drift down to the ground.

"I'm begging you, Mew!" Lucario continued while putting his palms together, "I've traveled far and wide, fighting for my life every second just to get here... Please! I'll do anything!"

"Will you?" Mew asked with a slightly sardonic tone as she looked up, "The inherent risks-"

"I don't care!" Lucario kept going and interrupted her, not wanting to lose the momentum and steadily growing more frightened of what would become of him if he did, "Luck's been the only thing keeping me from death, so far! I'm fully determined to do whatever it takes!"

"But... Your old body was-" Mew tried to explain, but was interrupted once more.

"Destroyed, right?" Lucario said while giving off a strained shrug as his voice became more and more desperate, "Like I give a damn. Make me a new one, and I'll whip it into shape, no matter how-"

"Ethan, listen to me!" Mew interrupted him in return, also starting to sound desperate, "This is a fool's request! You cannot-"

"Shut up! I'm not going to let you tell me I came all this way for nothing!" Lucario lashed out while throwing his right arm to the side in an angry sweep, "That I have to go find some other bullshit deity just to let me reclaim what is rightfully mine!"

"I am not telling you to do that!" Mew said loudly while moving back a little, half-expecting a fight to break out, "I am telling you, you will never be human again!"

Lucario's angry demeanor immediately faded, swiftly replaced by one of surprise and hopelessness. This is what she had feared, and what he had never expected.

"W..." a syllable passed through his mouth, more a small breeze of air than any form of communication.

"I committed myself to some further research about the technique I used to place you in your current body," Mew said, relaxing at the thought of not having to fight but growing more depressed as she saw Lucario helplessly looking at her, "... It has less than a 10% survival rate."

10%. 1/10. One tenth. The term echoed through Lucario's mind, not making any sense. Not for his lack of mathematical skills... Rather, because of them. Never before had hopelessness been expressed so well in numbers.

"When I did it, I was in a... Highly destabilized state of mind," Mew said slowly as the memory forced her to suppress a shudder, "I... I do not think I can ever return to that dark place while keeping my sanity intact."

"... Bullshit..." was all Lucario could say in response, not believing what he was hearing. The very legs he had used to climb this unforgiving mountain now suddenly felt too weak to simply carry his weight, as he slowly slumped down on the ground. Mew's heart ached as she saw his anguished display, never having had to deliver bad news of this magnitude to someone before.

"I cannot make you a new body, either... For the procedure to work, you would require a freshly expired human," Mew continued explaining, deciding to get the whole thing over with so Lucario would no longer cling on to false hope like she once had, "And if you think you I will let you create one of those..."

"... No..." Lucario whispered, seeing an image in his mind of a wild Lucario assaulting and killing a human being like a real monster, before finally starting to come to terms of what was happening, "... No, that's just... This can't..."

"Ethan..." Mew whispered softly while suddenly feeling guilty, letting her joy from having found him still alive seep away, "... No, Lucario..."

"SHUT UP!" Lucario bellowed, suddenly rising to his full height as he felt like his lungs were going to explode from shouting, "I'M NOT A GODDAMN POKÉMON, I'M A HUMAN BEING! MY NAME IS NOT LUCARIO, IT'S ETHAN!"

However, as the words escaped his lips, he noticed a distinct unfamiliarity about them. Between a name he had been using for several months now and one he did not even remember having been called, it seemed his mind had gotten used to the first. Angered by the reaction of his own body, he repeated it over and over again in his head.

I am Ethan, I am Ethan, I am Ethan...

Slowly, the strangeness surrounding the name began dissipate, each new statement sounding clearer than the last. Amazed by his success, he began thinking back to his life as a human, focusing with his full mind and trying to add the word 'Ethan' into his memories.

Nothing happened. Aggressively forcing the story Mew had just told him into his memories, a faint recollection of the event suddenly began to form. Nothing solid, but rather sensations his senses had picked up during his previous life. It felt like Déjà vu, but magnified a hundredfold. It was getting sickening, even painful.

Lucario was faintly beginning to realize that he was no longer freely exploring his mind, but had lost control of himself on his inner journey. The new memories were coming in too fast for him to handle. Struggling to keep them away, they kept flowing in unhindered by his will and made his awareness grow foggy. He could not escape it any more than he could his own head, and whatever was approaching was already beginning to overtake him.

As quickly as he had gotten to his feet, they lost grip of the soil beneath as his mind swirled and the cavern swiveled around him in a blur of grey and pink...

- - - - - -

Strong winds whisk by, relieving me of the heat that had been creeping up my every crevice. Time seems to stand still as the fearsome Pidegotto once more tries to rise to its feet, quite successfully this time. I brace myself as it stretches out its wings with a weakened growl, before letting its eyes roll back into their sockets and completely toppling over.

"D-Defeated by a Grass-type...?" Falkner says with an impressed tone, his face showing a mixture of disappointment and interest, "I never would've thought..."

"Never underestimate poison powder!" I shout out, before running up to my beloved Pokémon and lifting her up to give her a hug. For a moment I worry that the pressure of my arms would only add to the damage she had taken, but it all goes away as she with affection nuzzles back into my chest.

"Ha ha! You did great, Chica!" I exclaim, never having been so proud of her before. It had been a long and tiresome journey, but finally...! Finally...!

"Hmm... Such a strong bond between you two..." Falkner mutters to himself while scratching his chin, making him look like a real grown-up despite being only two years older than me, "How long have you known each other?"

"Two weeks, tomorrow!" I reply cheerfully, too happy to hold any grudge against the man that had knocked my awesome Geodude into unconsciousness. Ah, Chica looks happy, too! That leaf on her head is wagging around excitedly... Geez, I hope there isn't any poison powder left on it...

"T-Two weeks!?" Falker bursts out in utter shock before falling to his knees in a dramatic display, "I was defeated... By a total newbie...?"

"Uh..." I mumble, not knowing what to say. He looks really sad, much sadder than the other trainers I beat before getting here. Of course... No one likes losing, especially not when you've got dreams and ambitions... Even so, this is something I have to get used to if I'm going to become a champion! I'll be defeating a lot of opponents, after all!

"You're really something else..." he says while getting to his feet and recomposing himself into the professional I had met when I first entered the gym, "You must be a natural born trainer!"

"... Me? Really?" I ask sheepishly, looking down at Chica. Wait, but Chica's the one who won! I didn't have anything to do with it... Did I?

"Uh, it's all thanks to Chica!" I quickly reply as my Pokémon looks up at me with a worried expression, quickly melting into one of utter pride, "She's been really friendly!"

"You've got great potential," Falkner admits before pulling something small out of his pocket, "Never give up! Let this badge be the first of many!"


A... A badge? For me? But... But... WOW! And it was only my first try! But that Silver guy said... And everyone else thought...

Oh, wow... The badge... So cool to the touch... So shiny...


"... Shiny?" I ask while trying to act nonchalant, "I, uh, didn't even notice..."

Somehow, the atmosphere in the café seemed to be turning sourer than the disgusting berry juice I ordered to not look too out of place.

"Oh, don't pretend!" Rukario says, giving me quite the shock. Uh oh, this really is taking a turn for the worst... Better say something smart!

"I mean, I don't care!" I respond with a much too alarmed voice, "I mean, uh, why should I? What matters is what's on the inside, right?"

"Yeah," my so-called buddy snickers while nudging my side, "All pink, right?"

If I don't die from embarrassment, I SWEAR I'm gonna-

"What do you mean? Blue and yellow are my primary colors..." Rukario exclaims with a confused look. Phew.

"Of course!" I shout while quickly trying to change the subject, "What I mean, is... That..."

Damn, a little too quickly. What the hell, think of something to say...

"... That you and me are the same?" Rukario suddenly says with the confused expression obscured by the permanent beauty gracing her face, "Since you've got no spikes on your chest and hands, you're also different?"

"Uh..." I stammer as I'm taken aback by her comment and appearance, "Well... That's..."

I hadn't really thought of it that way. Man, girls are way too sharp for me! Retreat! Regroup! No, wait, damn it! I'm the guy here, no matter what happens I can't just-

"Really, here I thought I was the only one of my kind..." she says in her normal voice, which in itself sounded sweeter than anything my tongue had ever encountered, "It must be quite rare..."

Rare? Oh, like you wouldn't believe. But not as rare as...


"I don't want any candy, rare or not," I tell the strange man, his eagerness to gain my hard earned cash getting on my nerves. I was expecting lots of wild Pokémon and trainers in this cave, but peddlers...?

"Oh! But this is not just any candy, my good sir!" he shouts in my face while holding up the blue wrapper, "This is GUARRANTEED to boost your Pokémon's strength! Truly the breakfast of champion trainers!"

"Do you have any Ekans oil to go with that?" I say, but seeing the old expression mom always uses glancing by him I decide to clarify myself, "Sorry, mister. I'm not interested."

"But sir!" he continues, making me wish the repel I bought in the Pokemart in Violet would be super effective against salesmen, "Don't you want to make your Pokémon grow strong? Just give them a few of these, and they will become more powerful in an instant!"

"Even if that was the case..." I mutter with skepticism before feeling myself fill up with determination "... I want my Pokémon to become strong on their own! Only that is real power..."

Oh wow, that felt awesome! And look at his face! Priceless! I have to do this more often... Hmm...

Power is what's in your heart! Nah, way too corny...

Power is a privilege, not a right! Wait, what?

Power is not something that you can just... No...

"... It's not fair!" I shout, feeling my face grow hotter than the sun-warmed steel beneath my butt, "G-Girls have more powerful legs!" Ugh, I can't believe I was defeated so easily...

"Making up excuses for losing to a woman?" Rukario says while looking down at me with a disappointed face, "You really are pitiful." Damn it! Not only does she kick my ***, I then start blaming our gender differences for it!? Argh, why am I such an idiot...!?

"I..." I stammer pathetically while slowly rising to my feet, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Save it," she growls with dark eyes fixed upon me, "I will not waste my time on a weakling like you. Go away."

Go away. So, that was it. After all the preparations, all the pep talks, all the effort... No, she's right. There was never any chance for a girl like her to be together with a guy like me. I knew that from the start, damn it, why'd I even waste my time!?

"Fine," I huff, trying to regain what little pride I have left, "But one day, you will understand that one's fighting ability isn't everything..."

I stumble away while doing my best not to show just how much my leg hurts. Ow.

"To me it is," a voice suddenly echoes behind me. But it's not a voice of scorn or mocking, but one of mixed sadness and determination. I turn around sheepishly to see Rukario staring at me, beautiful eyes burning like a hot fire, but somehow pleading to be doused by... By...

... Water?

"Why couldn't Silver have picked a water-type...?" I sigh to myself before falling back on my sleeping bag, way tired from the fight against my rival, "Stupid Cynda-something..."

Chica seems to agree, throwing a miniature fit as she places herself in a battle pose... Wait, she hasn't spotted a wild Pokémon, has she!? Naw, she's just... Showing that she's ready to fight?

"I know you've defeated him before, but he's learning more fire-based attacks for the specific purpose of beating you," I try to explain to her while sitting up as she looks up at me with a confused stare, "But don't worry! The next time, I'm gonna use Geodude instead!"

Her response was the last thing I had expected, as she suddenly tackled my chest and made me fall back on the sleeping bag again. It wasn't painful, but I scramble around in panic anyway, remembering the aggressive Sentret on Route 29 that had gotten way up my personal space.

"Ch-Chica! What're you-" I start, but stop myself as she climbs up on top of me and I see her looking at me with a very angry expression. Did I say something wrong, here?

"Th-That thing about Geodude?" I stammer while trying to make sense out of my Pokémon's odd behavior, "But... But why?"

She then proceeds to start throwing a fit again, leaping up and down on my chest while huffing madly. Aw man, she's really angry at me...

No, wait... That jumping... She's... Copying me? She's acting just like I did when fighting Silver? That means...

"You mean..." I ask quietly, "... That Cynda-something is YOUR rival?"

Finally Chica's expression brightens, before looking at me with fierce determination. Finally... Man, figuring out Pokémon is difficult...

What's so hard about figuring out Pokémon? Now, figuring out women, however...
Not to mention Pokémon women... Wait, what's so hard to figure out about that?
Who am I talking to? Who are you?
Who... Who am I?
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