AGNPH Stories

The Human Species by RingsOfSaturn


Story Notes:

It was a quiet night when Deoxys descended from the heavens.
Believed to not be of this world, it went on a rampage, leaving death and destruction in its wake.
Finally defeated by an unknown force, the tragedy of unparalleled magnitude it created remains in the heart of every human.
To make sure that something like this will never happen again, every wild Pokèmon powerful enough to cause such mayhem must be captured, controlled or killed.
Needless to say, this year has been a bad year for Legendaries. This year has also been a bad year for Champion Trainers.
But my year... Has been... THE WORST! 

Author's Chapter Notes:


Lonely Legend Mew

Lucario screamed with all his might as he fell back from Mew, suffering unlike anything felt before spreading throughout his body. Mew's cold eyes were fixed upon him as he began writhing around in an agonizing display, vainly trying to escape the turmoil as he quickly removed the unwelcome intruder from his body. Turning from his back and falling on his face, he began furiously licking the rocky floor below him in search for some reprieve from the haunting flavor searing his tongue.

"That was…" Lucario gasped with his tongue outstretched, "The worst… Taste… Ever…"

"Truly?" Mew asked with a surprised expression, looking down at her half-chewed meal, "But I infused with large amounts of l-cysteine, as well as ammonia to remove potential bacteria… Both fairly common human culinary techniques!"

"You just told me of how you altered the goddamn laws of physics when fighting Deoxys," Lucario said angrily while rising to his feet, every word tasting like sweet sugar in his mouth, "How the hell can you NOT make good food? It should be so easy!"

"I have never cooked anything before!" Mew replied in her defense, going over the formula again in her head and wondering what went wrong.

"And you never will again, if I can help it!" Lucario responded quickly before picking up the indefinable piece of food and holding it out at arm's length, "Seriously, taste this, it's unbearable!"

"No!" Mew burst out as she floated back a little, "I cannot!"

"You must!" Lucario shouted in return with a sinister smile forming on his face, rushing against her while thrusting the somewhat bread-like substance at her mouth, "It's the only way you'll learn! It's your work, after all - Embrace it!"

"No, I mean, I truly cannot!" Mew pleaded as she turned her head away from the vague snack, "I have never eaten anything before, either!"

Lucario slowed down his assault, letting his arms and the failed source of nourishment fall to his side.

"… Huh?" he exclaimed with a confused stare.

"I break down and absorb nutrients, minerals and moisture from surrounding sources," Mew explained before giving off a frown, "Eating and digesting is rather disgusting."

"After tasting this, I'd be inclined to agree with you!" Lucario said cheerfully while scratching his chin, "Hmm, no wonder it was so bad… I mean, really? You've never tasted anything?"

"… Well, once…" Mew admitted slowly before letting a painful sigh escape her lips, "… It was not a pleasant experience…"

"No kidding. The foot's all this deserves…" Lucario muttered and kicked at the horrendously misshapen food, pleased to see the solid consistency making it fly off far away into the reaches of the cave, "… Real food tastes good, though. Have you really never eaten anything good?"

"I… To be honest, I have not exactly tried," Mew said while tilting her head to the side, "What change in a substance would a taste make? It seems rather uninteresting."

"Bah! That's just not right!" Lucario snapped at her, "Nothing beats a real, fulfilling meal! Try it, you're going to love it!"

"While I would prefer not to…" Mew replied as her frown returned, reviled at the thought of ingesting foreign material into her body, "… How would that be possible? Are you skilled enough to create real food?"

"Well, no… Actually, I'm trying to find something edible, myself…" Lucario muttered to himself, before suddenly lighting up as he was hit by an idea, "… That's it!"

Mew remained silent as she curiously looked at him, quietly imploding the food she had made a few feet away as to not leave behind any trace of their stay. Leaving a clue for trainers to discover was bad enough, but to let them find such an embarrassing failure…

"Imagine it, Mew! You and me, searching the world for the ultimate taste!" Lucario said triumphantly with a smile on his face. While it was initially meant as a joke, the more he thought of it the better of an idea it sounded. He needed to find some kind of food he did not despise, it would give him another quest to focus on, and with Mew nearby he would have a much better chance of defeating any enemies that might creep up on him.

"I think I will pass on that," Mew replied, not being able to suppress a light giggle over Lucario's silly display, as he felt a bit disappointed.

"Hey, after that story you told me of how you saved my life, I figure I at least owe you lunch," Lucario said with a shrug, hiding his disappointment at her response, "At least. Actually…"

Lucario became quiet once more, thinking hard to himself. He actually already knew what he was going to say, so this was mostly a display to make Mew curious once more.

"… Aha. Now I get it," Lucario said out loud after a few seconds, "You thought you could trick me, eh? Well, forget it!"

"What do you mean?" Mew asked, unsure of whether this was yet another silly display or a genuine concern.

"You told me of how you saved my life, so that I can be indebted to you!" Lucario said accusingly, realizing that this was yet another quest he would be fine with, "Fine, I'm at your beck and call, princess."

"E-Eh?" Mew stammered confusedly, not sure of what to say. Again, Lucario's much too determined face made it impossible to take him seriously, as she giggled once more.

"I must say…" she said while giving him a smile of her own in return, "… You are taking news I have given you rather well."

"They're good news, right?" Lucario replied before rising to his full height, "You told me I was the goddamn Ethan, the greatest trainer that ever lived!"

"Forget not that what made him 'the greatest' was his knowledge and experience with Pokémon…" Mew pointed out, "… Which you now lack."

"Uh…" Lucario mumbled to himself before raising his voice in determination, "… Still, it means that I have the potential to be the best at it! I'll just relearn everything!"

"And how many years will that take?" Mew asked quickly.

"Hey, do you want me to get all depressed, again?" Lucario replied with an angry tone, "Because I can totally do that, if you want!"

"No, of course not!" Mew said with a more startled voice than she herself had expected, and breathed out deeply before continuing, "I am just… Curious as to what you have in mind for the future."

The two of them remained silent for a while, Lucario thinking hard and not just for display this time. Most of his planning hinged on the fact that he would be leaving his encounter with Mew as a human, or at the very least with a new quest to undertake.

"… What are my possibilities?" Lucario asked, trying to hide the sarcasm in his voice.

"Anything," Mew answered directly, "You are free to do as you please."

"Oh really?" Lucario muttered as he crossed his arms, "Can I reclaim my life as Ethan?"

"That might be difficult…" Mew whispered as she imagined what Lucario would look like in common jeans and a brown cloak, to her own surprise finding it more plausible than she had first thought, "… But if you try really hard, I am certain you will succeed!"

"Hmm…" Lucario mumbled, realizing that no human mask could cover up his extended snout, "Never mind, scratch that. What else is there for me to do?"

"That is not for me to say," Mew said and started shaking her head as Lucario turned his gaze towards her, "Do what you wish. There is no true meaning to life, if that is what you are wondering."

"Except, you know, going with it and having fun…" Lucario said and realized just how much he was digressing, "… Well, this sucks. I thought freedom to do what I wanted to would be more fun."

"Take it from me - It is not," Mew replied with a pained sigh, "Too many choices lead to anguish over which one to pick, and whatever you choose you end up worrying if you chose the wrong one…"

Once more they became quiet, just looking at each other. The silence was starting to make Lucario uncomfortable, as if the entire world had come to a halt just to wait for him to make up his mind.

"What were you doing here, anyway?" he asked, "Waiting for Celebi?"

"Yes," Mew answered with a nod, "From our perspective, the planets of the Vertex system are to be aligned in a few days' time, and we promised to meet here for the great occasion."

"The great…" Lucario said with amazement, "Wait, what's going to happen?"

"Happen?" Mew asked with a confused look on her face, "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what do you mean'?" Lucario repeated angrily, "What's going to happen when the planets align?"

"Nothing," Mew said while giving off a blank stare, "We just want to see it. You rarely see planets aligned. It is rather exciting!"

"… Seriously? Oh man… You two need to get out more often," Lucario groaned before remembering their status of being hunted by everyone in the world, "Figuratively speaking, of course…"

Lucario wondered what he was going to do. Currently he was fine with conversing with Mew, but as soon as one of them left he would be alone in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do, and thousands of dangerous things out for his skin. Should he be planning for the coming strife instead of chatting casually with her? This train of thoughts was immediately interrupted as he stared at Mew, and suddenly became aware of something.

"Okay, Mew, you're the most sophisticated being I've ever met…" Lucario groaned while smacking his forehead and bashfully averting his eyes, "Why the hell are YOU not wearing clothing?"

"You mean those unnatural garments humans use to protect themselves from the elements?" Mew responded with an uninterested tone, "I have no need for such encumberment."

"Don't you care that you're showing everyone your… You know…" Lucario muttered, far from foreign to dirty words but feeling she would not be too appreciative of them, "… Everything?"

"Very few people and Pokémon ever see me, so whatever my appearance may be matters little," Mew replied, failing to hide the fact that she was sounding more bothered this time as she subtly turned to the side.

"… Well, I'm seeing you now, and I'm telling you to put on some pants!" Lucario yelled while pointing accusingly at her.

"Seems there is only one pair around," Mew said with a faintly amused voice while looking at Lucario's waist, "Would you care to part with them?"

"That's literally the only way this situation could get any more awkward…" Lucario groaned, more than willing to drop the subject and reminding himself to never look directly at it.

"I… I am a bit uncomfortable with this conversation," Mew said slowly, apparently sharing his thoughts and suddenly feeling very aware of herself.

"Oh, really?" Lucario asked sarcastically while looking over the small legendary with squinted eyes, "No kidding. How old are you, anyway?"

"I am twenty years old," Mew replied without missing a beat, making Lucario coil back in surprise.

"R-Really?" he stammered with shock, "I mean, going by your intelligence I'd say you're years ahead, but going by your size I'd say you were still a little kid!"

"My species has a very long lifespan, so that might very well be true," Mew said, imagining herself as the size of Giratina. She did not see it as fitting her all that well.

"Huh…" Lucario muttered slowly, "So… You mean that you'll grow bigger, later?"

"Not within your lifetime, I am afraid," Mew giggled before realizing how inconsiderate she was acting and composed herself, "… Should I survive that long, that is…"

"Well… You're strong, right?" Lucario asked, thinking back to her story about their encounter with Deoxys, "You mean, like, because diseases and stuff? Come on, what're the odds of that happening?"

"… Well…" Mew sighed to herself, letting her sparkling eyes fall to the ground, "… My mother died an infant. As did her mother. As did almost everyone since my species was first introduced…"

"What!?" Lucario burst out in shock, somewhat surprised at his own strong reaction, "That's horrible! How'd they die?"

"… Well…" Mew said as she looked down and started fidgeting around in midair, "It is a subject I would rather not talk about."

"Aw, come on!" Lucario insisted, "How am I going to protect you if I don't know what it's against?"

"… Protect me?" Mew asked, curiously raising her head towards him, "What do you mean?"

"Apparently I owe you my life, and… Well, you seem like a nice… Thing," Lucario said, tripping over every word as he tried to make sense out of what he wished to mediate, "I won't just let you die, if that's what you're wondering. I'll do what I can to protect you!"

"You should start by ceasing that line of thinking, then," Mew responded quietly with an extremely sardonic smile, quickly doing away with the appreciation she involuntarily felt, "When my species give birth, our psychic powers are transferred to our baby. That is the cause of death."

"Ah…" Lucario answered understandingly, missing any deeper meanings of what she had just said as he was busy wondering if he was starting to sound too desperate for a new quest, "You mean, losing your powers makes you easy prey?"

"No… Although accomplished psychics, we Mew are physically extremely weak," Mew explained with a quiet sigh, "Should I be left without my powers, I doubt I would even have the strength to contract my diaphragm to breathe."

The sigh stopped halfway through as Mew became aware of what she was doing. It was not her lungs that had forced the air out of her, but a complicated series of psychic contractions her subconscious had guided. The sigh was in no way a natural reaction, but merely something she had gotten used to doing in an attempt to seem more like a normal living creature to everyone else… And perhaps even herself.

"That means… You're on lifesupport?" Lucario said after having thought through her words.

"… If you must call it that, yes…" Mew huffed with a shred of annoyance, "It is not quite that bad. The lack of physical activity is what gives me such a long lifespan."

"More like, it's what's gonna kill you any day now!" Lucario burst out with a squeamish voice, never quite having gotten over just how pathetically weak the tiny pink kitten looked, "No physical strength at all? What if you encounter, say, a Dark-type?"

"Oh, do not worry yourself over that…" Mew said as she smiled, "I have the Aura Sphere to help me out in situations of that manner."

Lucario opened his mouth in what Mew assumed was to be a retort. Instead he fell silent as his mouth was left agape and a look of utter disgust quickly spread across his face.

"… What the hell!?" Lucario shouted with irritation, "How come everyone knows how to use the Aura Sphere but me!?"

"Surely you cannot be unable to…" Mew said cheerfully, her smile quickly fading as Lucario glared at her, "But… You are a Lucario. The aura-Pokémon!"

"The closest thing I've had to a tutor had some kind of traumatic experience regarding them," Lucario muttered, thinking back to his short stay at Zerobi's so-called home, "And my own experimentation has hurt me more than my enemies!"

"… I suppose that makes sense…" Mew admitted as she thought to herself for a few moments, "Tell me… Do you even know what the aura is?"

"… Uuuhhh…" Lucario exclaimed slowly while thinking hard, "… Blue fire?"

Mew was unable to keep herself from giggling, one of the few basic instincts she had yet to find a way on how to stop herself from doing.

"I-I suppose my explanation regarding mitochondria would be a little too complicated, then…" she said, hoping she did not sound too high and mighty.
"Mitochondria?" Lucario repeated as a faint memory of the word came to life, the cobwebs from the deepest reaches from his mind untangling themselves, "Yeah… Yeah, I remember something like that from school."

"… THAT you understood…?" Mew said in abrupt shock as she suddenly remembered Ethan's similar reaction when she used the Trick Room, "Hmm… Seems that we are full of surprises for one another…"

"I don't remember them looking like blue fire, though," Lucario muttered while scratching his head, "Something like that would've been interesting enough to keep me awake during class."

"The 'blue fire' is the burst of energy created from the mitochondria self-destructing," Mew began explaining to see how much of it Lucario would understand, "It is an order only those in great synchronization with their inner bodies can give."

"Wait…" Lucario said while holding his hands up in front of him, "… You mean, they explode? But… They're microscopic!"

"A couple of thousand explode at the same time, depending on the size of your attack," Mew continued, glad to see Lucario still following her explanations.

"MAN!" Lucario shouted as a chilling tingle spread through his body, "No wonder that shit hurts like hell!"

"Actually, that is probably from your surrounding nerves being affected by the explosion," Mew corrected him while getting a bit worried over the aspects of someone trying to learn how to use the aura without any guidance, "… Which is why making the self-destruction occur OUTSIDE of your body is a must!"

"Ah…" Lucario said with a hint of guilt, thinking back to all those times when he had ignited his arm or even his entire body with the attack, "It doesn't really work as a regular fire or explosion though, does it? What, uh, kind of damage does it do?"

"It works at a cellular level, so it will penetrate and burn through even the toughest defenses," Mew said as the unwelcome memory of Deoxys leaped to her mind, "… Occasionally a Psychic with great skill can reflect it, but apart form that it is impossible to defend against, and very difficult to dodge."

"Oh, I'm so learning how to use that," Lucario said with a determined smile as he punched his fists together, "Sparing myself the agony of showing it to you, I'll just explain it - What I can do now is make aura randomly shoot out of parts of my body, hurting me and anyone nearby in return."

"In other words, the 'Amoeba' state," Mew said with a nod, glad to share made-up terms born from her own musings.

"Amoeba…" Lucario repeated slowly, thinking back to his long and boring days at school, "Creatures with only one cell, right?"

"More like 'a sentient cell'," Mew corrected him, "Your current aura ability is like that, thousands of tiny cells each individually attacking your opponent."

Lucario nodded as he listened, very eager to learn. So far his only means of attacking had been to punch and kick things, which was proving ineffective against enemies possessing strong ranged attacks and peculiar body structures. If the aura could be used to damage his enemies as badly as it damaged himself every time he tried using it, it sounded too good to be true.

"To create an aura sphere…" Mew continued as she closed her eyes cupped her hands together, "… You need to get them to form together, to create a larger being."

"Just like us, eh?" Lucario said with a sardonic smile as Mew unclasped her hands, showing a tiny tornado of blue fire swirling between them roughly in the shape of a ball. Lucario felt a bit envious as Mew did not seem at all harmed by this display that would probably make his fingers ache for days afterwards. Still, it was nothing in comparison to the magnificent display he had been given from…

"Hey, by the way, I met another Lucario not long ago that created some kind of massive beam of aura," Lucario said as Mew suddenly perked up, letting the blue fire in her hands dissipate, "She called it 'Aura Storm', I think."

"Aura Storm…" Mew repeated as she gave off a worried look.

"You've heard of it?" Lucario asked eagerly, suddenly even more interested in learning.

"I thought I invented it!" Mew burst out in genuine surprise, "Someone actually used it? Tell me, how did their body hold up?"

"… Not well," Lucario mumbled as he crossed his arms, not wanting to let anything deter him from his newfound interest, "Nothing compared to her opponents' bodies, of course. What the hell was that?"

"The aura storm is like the aura sphere, but on a much grander scale," Mew explained, the worried tone never quite leaving her voice, "In short, you are ordering every single mitochondrion in your body to constantly shoot out aura for an extended period of time."

"That's…" Lucario whispered to himself, realizing that it sounded rather similar to the "failed" aura attack he had been using all this time.

"In theory, it is nothing short of suicide," Mew continued with a distressed expression, "A very painful one, at that. I cannot fathom why anyone would actually use it…"

"Hey… When all you've got is the aura, you'd better make the most of it, eh?" Lucario said with a shrug before the dangers of the great attack finally started to creep up on him, "Still… Suicide? It's that bad?"

"What do you think happens when you destroy your mitochondria like that?" Mew asked and followed with a short pause to let Lucario think, "No matter how well you master using the aura, you should only be using it in great moderation."

"Moderation…" Lucario repeated as he was about to ask Mew why she had shown him the ball of blue fire earlier, before a much more dire worry struck him, "… Oh, shit! I've been using it non-stop to sense other auras for, like, months!"

"Hee hee…" Mew giggled lightly to herself, "Worry not. That manner of usage is harmless."

"Anyway, you're wrong about the suicide part," Lucario said as he knew he had one more worry to settle down, "She… That Lucario, I mean, was still alive by the end of it."

"Most likely only temporarily, I am afraid. Are you aware of her status now?" Mew asked with a serious gaze, "Her cellular energy sources have been drastically reduced! Even if she does survive, she will be crippled for the rest of her life!"

Lucario uncrossed his arms and opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again and looked at Mew with a face of feigned anger.

"… Mew…" Lucario muttered disappointedly, "You. Are. Such. A. Pessimist!"

"P-Pessimist!?" Mew stammered, taken aback but swiftly recovering her demeanor, "I am being a realist!"

"That's no excuse for jumping to conclusions like that," Lucario kept going while shaking his head, "You weren't even there. I might've just screwed up with my explanation, or something."

This time Mew opened her mouth, but closed it again rather quickly as she noticed a hint of concern hidden behind Lucario's act. Her focus on the objective side of things had made her forget the subjective, and she knew she had no right to determine the death of someone she had never even met.

"Yes," Mew said quietly with a nod, still convinced of the fate of anyone successfully using the Aura Storm, "Perhaps that is the case."

"… Mew," Lucario said after a moment of silence, his face having turned both grim and serious and not as a simple charade this time, "I need to learn how to use the aura. Will you teach me?"

"I cannot," Mew replied while shaking her head, knowing that her important duty would need to come before anything else, "It will take much time, and I have other matters to attend to. As joyful as this reunion has been, I am afraid-"

"What other matters?" Lucario cut her off, raising a calm hand in her direction.

"… You are aware of the human species' systematic hunting of powerful Pokémon, no?" Mew asked, deciding to take things from the start.

"AWARE of it!?" Lucario shouted with a hurt tone in his voice as he pointed to himself, "You think all these scars just made themselves!?"

"… Hmm…" Mew mumbled, seeing that his scar tissue was far too old to have been caused recently but paying it no further mind, "I… Believe you will not have to worry about that for much longer, at least."

"Why?" Lucario asked bluntly, "Again, what other matters?"

"We Legendaries are preparing for a gathering where we will discuss the current state of things," Mew explained, hoping that Lucario would be clever enough not to go around and blab about it to just anyone, "… As well as remedy our problem with the human species, of course."

"You…" Lucaio said quietly as he felt his heart suddenly pounding harder, the very similar words of Zoroark's ringing in his ears, "… You're not gonna overthrow them, or anything… Right?"

"O-Of course not! We are all peace-loving creatures!" Mew burst out while waving her hands back and forth, the mere thought of abusing her powers making her exasperated, "We are simply looking for a way to end this madness before it escalates!"

"You mean, BEFORE innocent guys like me almost get killed for no reason?" Lucario snickered while scratching his shoulder and feeling a wave of relief wash over him, "So, what's your role in all this? Chairman?"

"I am the one given the task of alerting the others as to the whereabouts of our gathering, so we are able to assemble properly," Mew explained proudly.

"You're…" Lucario mumbled as her words came to make sense in his head, "… You're a bloody delivery boy!?"

"No, I am fem…" Mew continued explaining before looking at him with a confused expression, "… Wait, what do you mean?"

"Uh, nothing," Lucario said, smiling as he held back yet another snicker, "Just thought you'd have, y'know, a more important role, or something. You did save the world, after all."

"Few of the other legendaries are as mobile as I am, and none as good at hiding from humanity," Mew said, finding it strange that she was actually explaining what had always been so obvious to her and everyone she knew, "The other legendaries are spread all over the world. Myself and a few others are the only ones able to do this."

"Couldn't you just give them a call?" Lucario asked before leaning in closer, "You know… Using a phone?"

Mew blinked.

"A…" she said, not sure that Lucario had been using phonetics correctly, "… What?"

"Goddamn it, you don't know what a phone is!?" Lucario growled as he clenched his fists in anger, the memory of Celebi and Zerobi's similar reaction instantly coming to mind, "You're actually going to travel around the world just to talk to them!?"

"Is there a better way?" Mew asked bluntly, bewildered at Lucario's display of rage.

"Yeah, there's a better…" Lucario continued before remembering how the last time he had told someone about the magic of a phone, Celebi had wanted him to construct one out of nuts and berries. He forcibly calmed himself down and looked down at the ground, wondering how on earth someone so capable of everything of would be so bad at technology… And cooking.

However, realizing that even someone like Mew had flaws gave Lucario a small spot of hope. Not a sense of superiority, but rather a reason for his existence. He knew all too well that being a human transformed into a Pokémon came with many downsides… But perhaps there were advantages, too? If even the so-called legendary Pokémon such as Celebi and Mew had no idea what a simple phone was, they must really have no concept of human culture.

Still, it wasn't like he knew how to build a phone. He thought it might be worth learning. At the very least it would be something for him to do, better than just wandering around and getting captured. However, on top of the priority list would be learning how to use the aura, so he could fend for himself in the wild. Mew had turned out to be great at teaching him so far, if only he could convince her to keep doing it…

Much like before, his thinking was interrupted by the growl of his stomach. After the brief cataclysm of taste he had experienced earlier, Lucario was sure that his digestive system would never again be the same. Apparently, that was still not an excuse as to stop eating altogether.

"How bothersome," Mew suddenly said. He did not know whether she was referring to her lack of cooking skills or the fact that she did never needed to eat. Probably the latter, seeing how she was looking at Lucario's stomach with great curiosity as he suddenly felt very naked beneath her gaze.

"Dying's worse," Lucario said bluntly, fearing what was to come next.

"There is a patch of berries growing by the foot of this mountain," Mew said, giggling t herself as the spreading panic on Lucario's did not go unnoticed, "… I could fetch some, if you are interested…"

"Thanks. I'll, uh, eat them raw, please," Lucario said slowly with a sigh. No matter how badly berries tasted, it was still miles above anything those tiny, pink and highly lethal hands could conjure up. Mew began to float away deeper into the cave, leaving Lucario alone with his thoughts. However, as she disappeared from his sight, he was suddenly overcome by the strangest feeling that this would be the last time he ever saw her…
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