AGNPH Stories


A trainer hiking through the woods discovers a lopunny, only to find out he can't catch it.

Story Notes:

Required Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

  1. Chapter 1 (2139 words) [Reviews: 4]

    I posted this story here awhile ago, but I recently redid it and added a (to me) much needed scene for the poor Quilava left all alone.

No comments posted
    Reviewer: anger_incarnate
    Date:Nov 28 2012 Chapter:Chapter 1
    Anger Incarnate Here!
    Now, I'll be forward in that I don't have a lot to say on the story: It's a relatively simple short story after all. Enjoyable for what it is, although I myself just prefer longer well-developed plots and such.

    As for something to touch up on, you definately need to try to split up paragraphs better. It's a small thing, but it's appreciated. Usually after every speech/action of different characters it's good to throw it in. Just read a couple older stories here and you'll get a general idea on certain things worth separating so that it doesn't become a wall of text.

    Also, I must confess that the first sentence is amusingly repetitive. "One day, on an enjoyable spring day, ..." Just a bit silly. Small hiccups like that fix themselves with practice though, so it's no harm no foul.

    Nonetheless, keep up the pace! This section welcomes new writers!

    As for a story idea, I'm unfortunate to say I'm untalented in writing myself. There just usually isn't much going on in my cranium, so I won't be of much help.
    Author's Response:
    Really? Hmm, I thought I split the sentences up rather well. Guess not. But that first sentence was supposed to sound just a tad bit cheesy :)
    Befuddling since 1985, when the Cows came home
    Reviewer: Raw19
    Date:Nov 30 2012 Chapter:Chapter 1

    I love Lopunny stories and this one wasn't bad at all. Most excellent.

    Reviewer: J-Eriksen
    Date:Dec 16 2012 Chapter:Chapter 1
    Nice story! It is very well made but at some points it seems rushed. I enjoyed reading it thought and look forward to read more!
    The Wild-Card!
    Reviewer: Captain_Dragonuv
    Date:Dec 23 2012 Chapter:Chapter 1
    Good work here.

    Although, I will halfta agree with Anger Incarnate alil. Some was a bit tricky to keep up with, so a few more line breakers would be appreciated.
    I'm not much of a Grammar nazi, but my dad is and because of that I've gotten quite adept at proofreading.
    If you like, I could go through and make the few corrections needed to make this an easier read--and even spice up the sex alil.
    Author's Response:
    Really? Doesn't seem like it from your review....