Zeke starts his Pokemon journey, his past's a lost mystery, and his future's uncertain, but he'll find he's part of something bigger than he ever could have imagined. Human/Pokemon harem. AU
Zeke's team: Scarlett (shiny Quilava), Julia (Latias), Bryna (Buizel), Flygon, Absol
Story Notes:
Ok, those of you looking for a yiffy story, please leave, as there won't be any sex scenes until later in the story when I believe I've developed the story and character's enough. Also there's a poll on my fanfiction profile, vote for your two favorite eevee evolutions. Send your votes in people or I'll just assume no one cares and do it however I want, and that may or may not displease you. There's a link on my AGNPH profile. Or just tell me your two favorites in a review.~The poll is now closed, you'll see the results later in the story.~Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or any other popular franchise, please don't sue me as I'm broke.
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A Beginning (8790 words)
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Welcome to the Family (9454 words)
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The Beginning of a Journey (7926 words)
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A Day Full of Activities - Part 1 (5450 words)
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A Day Full of Activities - Part 2 (6343 words)
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First, We Train, Then... (9540 words)
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A Not-So-Important Mission (7648 words)
[Reviews: 1]
Date:Jul 27 2014 Chapter:A Not-So-Important Mission
I must admit, what I like most about the story is the characters and how they interact with each other. It's very unique and I can't say I've seen it done quite like that before. I especially like how they're all so different from each other, yet so alike.
I also like how you introduce all the characters. Each one has a background story similar to the other characters, except Scarlette. How you introduce Scarlette into the story, is very sloppy and almost laughable. Her mother is bleeding to death yet seems to be talking perfectly fine. It makes sense that she asked Zeke to protect Scarlette, but the sequence you did it in just kind of ruins it.
Then theres your grammar... I didn't see many spelling mistakes, but the grammatical errors are off the chart! Your proof readers (Or beta readers as you called them) really don't know what they're doing.
The amount of mistakes really puts slack into your story, which unfortunately dulled the plot.
Also... the chapter where Bryna comes in you made a very big mistake. You clearly stated she was a female with abnormally large breasts for her age, but then go on to say "he/she"... a big 'no no'.
Well, enough of that...
I found it really cool how you replaced Pokémon's silly, childish world, with reality. Doing that made it feel more searious, and I believe it made the story much more fun to read.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story, and (I can't stress this enough) I REALLY wish you would do more with it... Again, good job, and well done.
-{ 6 Stars __ +1 for making a fun read }-