Deep in a region of the world ruled only by Pokemon stands four tribes. After a time of warring, fighting and killing the four tribes found peace between one another. Each year the tribe Pokemon come together and mate with one another. A young Shinx who does not understand why the tribes do what they do goes on a journey in a attempt to find the answers he seeks. Though as he pushes forward he begins to find out that the world of the tribes live in goes deeper than he could ever have imagned.
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Flare: Honor of the Tribes (6323 words)
Flare the leader of Thunderplains has worked his entire life to ensure his tribe and family are taken care of. With the Mating Ritual Season about to happen he once again feels the fear that has plagued him for years. Is the Mating Ritual a bad thing for the tribes.
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Chapter 2: Fire and Lighting (3174 words)
Lightsoul and his long time best friend Fenzura go out on a training play date near the boarder line to their tribe and Shadowfang. Lightsoul struggles to keep up with his friend but ends up falling short. Fenzura being the honorable Vulpix he is holds the Shinx to their long time agreement...
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Small, Mystical and Adorable (2754 words)
[Reviews: 1] Lightsoul finds himself in the most realistic dream he has ever had.
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Master and Mentor (4625 words)
Prism always believed in himself, Shadowfang Tribe and his mentor Ember the Braixen. He wants to some day follow in his father's pawsteps and help lead his tribe, but for him to do that he must learn to become the strongest warrior he can be. Ember his mentor sees the potential in him and she wants to do everything she can to make him the best warrior he is ble to be. Her methods sometimes though...
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Knowing who you are. (2542 words)
The mating ritual is nearing and Fenzura has alot more on his mind than he ever wanted to. His mother wants to set her son in the right direction and remind Fenzura about what he really is.
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Mysterious Abound (5391 words)
[Reviews: 1] Lightsoul finds himself confronting Flare, Ruby, Fenzura and even himself about various different things in his life. The more the Shinx confronts his issues the more he wonders what his future will hold, and if Fenzura will be apart of it.
Just when he thinks he can finally get a moment to think for himself, a secret admirer comes forth to give the wayward Shinx a new door to walk though. -
White Dreams (3619 words)
Lightsoul learns more about the strange Sylveon who saved him from a life of wondering. But the more he talks to her the more he wonders what sort of life he was about to enter into and if it is one that he truly wants to live.
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Chapter 8: White Dreams (3596 words)
Yes that is right, Plains of Light is back with us entering Act 2 of the story which follows the White Dreams Saga.
Chapter 8 picks up where the last part of the story left off, with Lightsoul being welcomed into the White Dreams manor by Elizabeth. But why did Elizabeth welcome him into her house, is she really in love with him or is this a trick of some kind. And who is this cute but odd tailed pikachu maid who all of a sudden seems interested in the young Shinx..... -
Chapter 9 (1728 words)
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Chapter 10 (2169 words)
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Chapter 11 (5194 words)
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Chapter 12 (3120 words)
- Comments (2)
- Reviews (2)
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This is a differnt story then the rest. A little bit of this little bit of that. I do see potential in this story. Some minor errors here and there some grammar and spelling nothing to cry over.
Author's Response:I am writing this story to be deeper than anything else I have written in the past. The grammer and spelling errors I will try to work out as the story goes along, or at least make sure its so minor that it is either unnoticable or does not impact the story itself. Thank you for the review.
Hope you continue to come back for more.
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This chapter was good plot wise but it lacked generating a feel for the strength of the characters or a tangible essence within the character emotions. I don't know if I'm judging harshly after reading another that had powerful emotions which stood out but regardless of that's it still means there's areas of improvement.
The scene settings where good, but also some areas seemed rushed or just passed quickly like some of the transitions. The dialogue worked to your favour due to the characters being young and some which even felt cheesy did too. They worked as it was quite expectant of the age group being int their youth to say it as such.
This will lead me onto my bigggest feedback point. Partings are strong features and opportunities to show great character building opportunities, I did like how they parted to the extent. As it's third person only the views of one character are explored in a discriminating manner to others where acknowledgement from the writers prospective needs work. If you read most books you will find as a transition to the next scene in such partings, (I'm using that one as an example) it is expressed in a more three dimensional manner.
There's more than one party here so their views and emotions should also be explored to pull them out more as at times they feel like they're in the background opposed to being pulled out more to grant them more substance. Your style would be more suited to first person, which really would be spot on. Each character emotions insecurities etc, those aspect need to be applied more broadly if in third person through the chapter. There are clauses in this; unless you intend that character to have a hidden agenda or keeping a massive secret which you want to keep from the reader then there's other avenues and ways to still make the others still come to the foreground. Please take the time to read and look over what emotions thoughts along with other feelings and sensations you granted others in comparison to Lightsoul, it will help you balance the character and draw in the reader more. It also mustn't be over done to a point it drones on.
I have taken the time to read and give feedback. This is meant to be constructive and by no means to be taken in any other context. I hope
Date:Sep 3 2016 Title:Mysterious Abound
Oh boy this went somewhere i didnt expext
Date:Sep 18 2016
Still a nice chapter. The temptation of all those females. Any male would want to go.
I wonder about lights vulpix lover what will happen now? How he will react to finding out his choice.
Still many decsions were made and now many will have to live with it.
I cant wait for the next chapter